FEEDING A DREAM

PART 1

THE DREAM

BEST READ AT NIGHT

Azusa

Azusa's eyes flickered open in the light of the early morning. She sat up, rubbing the last remnants of sleep from her weary eyes. Her eyes found the date on her alarm clock, which was set to go off in twenty minutes. It was February now, seven months since they had all left her alone. Another day that would begin without their smiles. Azusa wanted them all back so badly, just to recreate a normal day with them like it used to be. They were at college now, and mostly split apart. Mio was engaged with a man Azusa hadn't met, Tsumugi had gotten an opportunity to be enrolled in a much better all-girls school, and she hadn't heard anything from Ritsu in months.

Without Ui in the Light Music Club, Jun and her decided that it was best to just let it die instead of finding a legacy to carry it out. Jun had gone back to the Jazz Club, and Azusa decided to remain clubless, playing her guitar alone at home in the time it left for her. She would lay on the floor hours at a time with her Mustang on top of her, listening to Roger Water's sing while she played along with David Gilmour. In her eyes, the two of them were geniuses, and The Wall was probably the greatest album ever created. Afternoons would drift by as she laid there in a haze of pot smoke with the sounds of music ringing in her ears. She knew she was fast going down a path of self-destruction and ruining her life, but she found herself just not caring.

"Yui..." She whispered in the cool silence of her room, wishing somehow that saying her name would make her appear. Loneliness overcame her, and she began the day by crying. She would come to school expecting to see Ui there, telling her that Onee-chan would want her to visit after school so they could eat snacks and play their guitars, even if she had been out of school for some time now. That wouldn't happen though, there wouldn't be Ui, and she'd be lucky if someone like Jun spoke two words to her throughout the day; if they had still been in school. She wouldn't stop waiting though, because there wasn't any conclusive evidence that Yui was gone. There was no trace of her, and by all accounts she had just disappeared from the face of the earth, but Azusa would never stop waiting for her to come back.

Nothing had made sense in her apparent passing, which was what lead Azusa to believe Yui was still there, just far away, or even possibly in some other dimension of reality; anything was possible. She remembered how bad it had been when she got there, even if she couldn't remember how she knew where to find Yui then. It had been after school, and Azusa just decided she would take a walk through the woods near where they lived. Yui was home from college that week, for some reason Azusa would never know; she just was. The air that day had been hot and muggy, with bugs and mosquitoes running rampant. Sweat had pooled under her arms, leaving the areas around them on her school uniform noticeably damp. Azusa didn't know if that had been because of the heat, or the anxiety of walking through the woods in a sure direction without knowing why. Sure enough, she had found Yui there. Her skin was cold despite the sweltering heat, cold against Azusa's lips. Even colder wind blew, feeling like ice against her bare legs, blowing her skirt upwards from the angle she was sitting at. After that, she couldn't remember what happened, but Yui was gone, and her blood had left stains on Azusa's uniform. She still kept the uniform tucked away, unwashed, spotted with deep brown stains from Yui's blood just to prove that it had really happened.

That night she had found that Ui had been murdered. Not like a 'hit by a stray car', or 'caught in the crossfire of another murder', or even 'wasn't trying to kill her'. Someone had simply waltzed into their home while Yui was gone and sliced her throat that same day. Slitting her throat hadn't been enough for this psycho though; they had made it a point to stab her upwards of 104 times across her body. Upon hearing that, Azusa had laughed, thinking that it was just a joke. Such a grisly, pointless murder seemed like something out of a fourteen year old boy's attempt at a horror story. But no, someone had really gone and murdered one of her best friends and got away with it. Nobody knew how someone could have made it in and out without a sound, and then stolen away while doubtlessly covered in Ui's blood. Azusa knew Yui had been covered in blood in the woods, but that had to have been her own, and her wounds looked as if they were claw marks, not the slashes of a razor. Azusa had no idea what kind of animal only clawed at its prey. No sign of bite marks were seen…

But today will be the day though, Azusa thought as she cleaned herself up and readied for school. Today would be the day that Yui would reappear in her life, telling her that what she saw in the woods had just been some odd dream or figment of her imagination. People went missing all the time, and Azusa knew this was just one of those cases. She made her breakfast, ate it, said goodbye to her parents, and stepped out the door. There was a wide grin on her face because she knew today would be the day. It was almost the same, but the uniform was different. Instead of her old school uniform, she dressed in her work clothes, a janitor's suit for her job there. It was a bit of irony that she ended up being a janitor for her old school instead of moving onto college like everyone else. But she knew she couldn't go off to college after what happened. Her mind just wasn't able to work that hard anymore. Her parents understood, and patiently supported her.

Yui

She could make out Azusa smiling through the mist and fog around her that was always there. It was hard to understand how the twin-tailed guitarist could be smiling, but it made Yui feel better to see it. So little had happened over the months, and any reaction out of Azusa made her feel better, especially since the kouhai had been so sad most of the time. Yui wished she could make Azusa feel better; make her smile again.

If anything, college had made them closer friends. Mio was so focused on her schoolwork and boyfriend that she was never around, Tsumugi was gone from the picture completely with her transferring of schools, and Ritsu would just disappear for days at a time. At first it had been Ui inviting Azusa over every time Yui was home from college to visit. Being that the older sister didn't have friends beyond her distracted band mates, this ended up being nearly every weekend. While Ui was there, it was mostly Yui and Azusa together, going out places, watching movies, playing videogames, or even just laying around playing their guitars together. Even if all the other girls were distracted with things like boyfriends and schoolwork, Yui was happy being with Azusa. She had become something more like a second sister than a friend; if not more than that. It had been a great month for them.

One night, while Azusa was over, she had gotten a little tipsy. It was Golden Week, and Yui had a bit of sake to drink with Azusa and her sister. She didn't drink often, or hardly ever, but they had gone out for karaoke that night, and a little booze got rid of any singing inhibitors. Azusa had stayed over at their house that night, sleeping on Yui's floor on a mat that was frequently laid out for her. The thrill from the night of singing and laughing while drinking had left Yui's head in a complete daze. She laid on her bed with Gitah on her lap, quietly playing the one piano bit from Silent Hill 2 that showed up when the main character met the one girl with the sweater who had parent issues. Yui was far too drunk to remember the specific names, just how to play that piano part on her guitar. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Azusa laying there, looking as adorable as ever. No, she looked more adorable than ever, like those cute little kittens that made you just want to squeal because they were that god damned cute. Yui silently slipped out of her bed and stood on her knees looking down at sleeping Azusa, wondering just what to do with her. She wanted to just grab her and squeeze her in a tight hug, but she had done that before and had been rewarded with only chaos.

Without thinking, she gently placed a kiss on Azusa's lips, if only to see if she would react. There was no reaction, and the ditzy guitarist still had no idea just what she was trying to do. Once again, she didn't think, but just acted on impulse and curiosity. Azusa was out like a rock, and didn't stir at all from Yui lifting her arm and dropping it back down several times. Yui had more to drink than she realized, and was just now feeling it. If possible, Ui always tried to limit her sister to just one small cup of sake when a situation involving drinking came up. Unless checked, Yui would accept liquor like she accepted tea, seemingly unable to say no to peoples' offers. Now she was paying for it with her head spinning and her stomach churning as she looked at the pajamas Azusa was in. They were the really loose fitting kind that always reminded Yui of the robes and stuff that priests wore at shrines. Azusa had been lying at just the right angle that the sleeve of her pants had ridden up well past her knee, showing off the entire leg. Something about that, combined with the prose look of her sleeping face, made her seem outrageously cute, even beautiful in the dim light of her room.

Quietly, and gently, and with even less thought, Yui moved the rest of the blanket off of Azusa, still unsure of just what she was doing. All she knew was that she wanted to do something with Azusa, and that doing nothing would be wasting this moment. Her hands were trembling when she realized she wanted to see more of her black haired friend. See those parts that had been concealed over the length of their friendship. Feel them on her finger tips. She did just that. Azusa was laying on her side, legs bunched up, but Yui still managed to slip her fingers down the front of her pajama pants and under her panties, feeling the warmth of the skin beneath. Her fingers were immediately met with short, coarse hair surrounded by smaller, prickly ones. Yui's entire body was trembling now, and every rational part of her brain was telling her to stop; but this was something she had never done before, never done anything close to this, and wanted to see it through. She moved her three fingers past the little tuft of hair, and felt where the skin parted, and just how warm Azusa was.

Her fingers rubbed slowly against Azusa's sex, suddenly becoming slick with juices and fluids that hadn't been there. Azusa shuttered in her sleep, sharply inhaling, but not waking. Still, Yui had pressed her luck too much already; she retracted her hand and returned to her bed, heart beating like the double bass of the one drum solo part in Metallica's Fight Fire With Fire, her throbbing head playing the part of the toms. She was shaking as she tried to figure out just what had prompted her to do that, and why she had gone through with it. Her right hand's three central fingers were now sticky and slick with moisture, accompanied by an odd smell emanating from them. Yui held those fingers to her nose, taking in the strong, bizarre smell before running her tongue down the side of them. She winced from the sharp taste, and felt herself getting hotter between the legs. She knew what to do then.

Those memories danced through her head as she followed behind Azusa, barely able to see more than her silhouette in the endless sea of fog she walked through. She didn't know why that particular memory appeared in her mind when there were so many more chaste ones; happier ones. Putting those thoughts aside, Yui wanted so badly to run up and hold her hand and walk with her to school, but she knew that if she did that she would disappear into the blackness again. The blackness was scary, cold, and time had no meaning there. It would have been surprising to her to know that she had been gone for only seven months, instead of the seven years it felt like.

She wanted so bad to send some kind of message to Azusa and tell her to at least pretend she was still there. The way Yui saw it, if Azusa pretended, she could pretend too and then it would almost be like they were together again. Azu-nyan was always so lonely, and Yui wanted so badly to go to her to bring her love and happiness, like it was before. She had no idea why things were this way, or if she was alive or dead, just that she existed perpetually in a world of darkness, fog, and cold.

Consequences be damned! She sprinted at Azusa, desperate to give her some sign that she was still there, just to give her a glimmer of hope.

"Azu-nyan!"

Her fingers grazed the back of Azusa's shirt before the wind turned against her in a torrent of pressure. She screamed and cried, frantically clawing at the air as some unknown force pulled her backwards. Any warmth that had been in the air instantly disappeared, and all light faded away into utter blackness. Yui cried as she felt herself falling into an abyss of loneliness, a prisoner of some sick twist of fate.

Azusa

The twin-tailed guitarist shuddered as she felt an unnaturally chilly air wash over her. She stopped in her tracks as she could have sworn she heard the wind whisper her old nickname, "Azu-nyan..."

"Yui-senpai?" She spoke aloud in the stillness of the street she was walking on. The chilled wind passed, leaving her in eerie silence. Nothing moved now, and the muffled sound of distance cicadas seemed all too loud. Azusa looked around. All the houses around her felt devoid of any life even if they were all well kept and maintained. To her, she felt like the last person on the planet; like everyone else had just disappeared. In a sense she was right, because Yui-senpai was the only person to her, and she had simply vanished; replaced with a few dead leaves in Azusa's arms. Her eyes focused on the mountains that seemed to be in every direction, thinking about how the only thing higher than they were the clouds. If Yui and Ui were truly in the heavens among those clouds, like so many of the others believed them to be, she would not have hesitated to climb the tallest of those mountains that threatened to cross that divine border. Anything for one more moment together with both of them.

Starting her work day was as painful as ever. It felt like disgusting irony how thatwas the only place she could find a job. Every day for three years she had gone there and spent those days with the greatest friends she would ever have. She loved every one of them, and now they had either forgotten about her, died, or simply vanished. Every day now she was forced to walk those halls in solitude, the memories and ghosts of the past dancing around her in sick mockery. Today was one of the days where she felt like just lying down and crying. Everything that brought her happiness had been torn away, leaving her hollow and alone; a shell of what she had been. It didn't help that her janitorial duties were simply humiliating. That day, a freshman had found it in their liking to smear menstrual blood all over a bathroom stall for her to clean up.

She ended her day feeling even more miserable then when she started, still wondering: Why did this have to happen to me? Why were my two best friends taken from me? What did I do to deserve this?

Life couldn't go on like this. Going through each day wishing she was dead while paying just enough money for groceries and utilities that her parents didn't kick her out of the house. Azusa knew it was pathetic, that she was pathetic. She had been walking home for twenty minutes now, the only thoughts on her mind were of how sorry she felt for herself. Part of her wished her parents would crack down and discipline her so she would make something of her tattered life. But her parents hadn't known what to do or say when they learned that their daughter's two best friends had died. They figured that was the reason she had fallen so deeply into depression, and they didn't seem to care that she smoked pot or popped pills almost on a daily basis. Azusa wished they did though, just so she knew that someone cared enough about her to step in and make her stop.

She looked up from her feet and noticed she had wandered near the woods without even realizing. If the mood struck her, the only thing keeping her from the haunted and forlorn woods was a meter high incline of concrete. All she had to do was climb. But Azusa didn't want to go into those woods, the ones that worked as a shortcut to Yui's neighborhood if the right path was taken, but went on for miles if you strayed in the wrong direction. She remembered something about a few kids getting lost in there over the years but never thought about it. Then again, Yui had disappeared there too, and it made her wonder if there was some relation. Her mind quickly rectified that though, because she knew that very real threats existed deep within the trees that would harm small children. Wild dogs, bush pigs, probably a child kidnapper or two, and the latter appeared all over the new almost weekly.

Azusa climbed up the little concrete wall and towards the edge of the forest, glad nobody was around to see her. She stood up and looked ahead, taking in the small bushes and tall trees that extended until ending at another street. The sun was setting, and the orange-red light was peering through the treetops, casting long dark shadows, and twinkling off the occasional piece of garbage that littered the dirt. She remembered when they thought Yui had gotten lost there, back during the school marathon. It had been funny afterwards, but now she found no humor in it, because it had come true. Azusa followed one of the little trails through the bushes; the one that led to the more 'wild' parts of the woods, beyond all the development and housing. It was quiet there, and even the non-stop droning of cars seemed muffled by the tranquility of birds chirping and bugs buzzing.

But Azusa was scared, utterly terrified of being alone there. All of a sudden she regretted coming there and wondered why she had done that in the first place. Whatever had swallowed up Yui was sure to get her next, and even the wind seemed to be laughing at her through the trees. No big deal, she would just turn around and-

The trail behind her was gone. That meter wide path she had followed was no longer there, just underbrush surrounding her. She was standing in the middle of the wild growth, but hadn't remembered ever leaving the trail. In fact, she was sure it had just been basic dirt under her feet, not all these bushes, vines, and tall grass. It would have taken some sort of effort to walk to where she was now considering how heavy the plant growth was there. Her heart was pounding rapidly, ringing in her ears like a .30 caliber machine gun; her breath quickened, and her body broke out in sweat. There was no reason for her to be terrified, or even the least bit scared. She was an adult and had merely strayed off the path while taking a hike after work. In fact, she remembered one of her coworkers talking about doing the exact same thing.

Then why am I so damn scared! Her mind screamed as she spun around in place, trying to find the trail she had walked to get there. She took a deep breath and tried to be practical about the situation. After a few seconds of silence, she pin pointed the direction of the sound of cars of the freeway driving in the distance. Calmly she walked towards that direction, feeling a rather cold wind against her back. The plant growth became thicker, dryer, and with less leaves in general. She had to raise her legs higher with each step to trample through the skinny vines that were now starting to grow above knee lengths. Thorns from some plant she missed tore at her pant legs, tearing the fabric and drawing blood.

How! Azusa's mind screamed again. If she had just brushed up against them, they would have just snagged. Her pants were torn up though, a good 4 inch cut, and she could see the blood flowing now. Heart racing even faster now, Azusa tried moving faster towards the sound of cars. The growth instantly became thicker, and thorns tore away at the long sleeves of her shirt, drawing more blood with deeper cuts. Azusa stopped in her tracks. There weren't any thorns above knee level, besides the few that were able to just reach her thigh. She raised her trembling arm and looked at the cut just above the elbow...

It looked just like the one she had received the time she accidentally cut herself with a razor blade when she had been much younger. Exactly the same, right down to where it was. She had been about six at the time, and found her dad's shaving razor sitting in a cup next to the restroom sink. Being six years old, all she knew was it was the thing that Papa put up against his face. Clumsily she had tried to reenact the same thing on her arm, but had managed in cutting herself quite badly. She had cried, sobbing wildly while her mother tried to calm her down, all while scolding her father for leaving his razor where her baby could get to it. That had lead to just about all sharp things being hidden, along with the rat poison. Later in life, Azusa had begun to believe her parents didn't think her all too bright sometimes.

Those memories had momentarily subdued the fear she was feeling from being sliced like that from what appeared to be nothing. Nothing in that forest should have been able to do that, yet she could feel the blood running down her arm and the cut stinging madly. Her legs were shaking with fright as well, and she felt like a dam inside her had broken; literally. Hot urine poured from between her legs as she was unable to contain herself. She hadn't used the toilet before leaving work, and had drunk tea with lunch; now it was repaying her most unkindly. Azusa stumbled through the thorny vines to a tree and leaned against it, still going in her pants as she went. She began to openly cry now as she pressed herself against the bark, too afraid to move anymore. The right leg of her pants was now completely soaked, warm and sticky, and the sound of her pee dripping onto the dirt beneath her was all too loud in the silence. She couldn't even hear the cars now.

"Yui-senpai." Azusa choked in the silence of the fast darkening woods, hoping that invoking the name of her friend would somehow save her. The wind was picking up now, and the sun was falling behind the horizon, making it hard to see beyond a couple dozen meters due to the thick shadows. The wind was increasing in speed, growing colder with each gust. She lost the strength in her legs and slid down to the ground, her body scraping up painfully against the bark as she did so. There she was, sitting in dirt dampened by her own urine, crying as she held her legs close to her body, feeling even more pathetic as she smelled the liquid she soiled herself with.

"Run."

A voice rang out in the deep recesses of her mind, almost too faded to even be noticed. It had been quiet, and feminine, too vague for Azusa to figure out who's voice she thought it in if not her own. But it hadn't been her voice, and it had been startlingly sudden. Unable to think of anything else to do that was any safer or more productive, Azusa climbed to her feet and sprinted through the brush in the direction she had been heading in. The dried plants felt even harder to pass through now, with the branches of the small bushes no longer breaking underfoot like they had, and the thorns becoming sharper and more frequent. Tiny razor-like cuts appeared all along her legs and even up past her waist as she ran as fast as she could.

Her foot collided with something hard and small jutting out the ground. She felt a few of her toenails crack as she tripped over it, flying forwards into a patch of bushes that were high enough to be considered hedges by some people. The leafy wall was a stark contrast to the sea of nearly dead bushes and vines she had trampled through to get there. It was funny the things her mind realized when she was falling forward.

She hadn't been able to see it in the dark, but the bushes actually marked the top of a hillside. Azusa fell through the thick bushes and tumbled down hill, unable to stop or control her descent in any way. Small plants, fallen trees, sharp twigs, broken branches and rocks all met her as she rolled down some thirty meters before blasting through another set of bushes into much softer grass.

Azusa's small body was completely tattered after the fall down the hill. Her pants and shirt were completely frayed now, with dozens of cuts, scrapes, and bruises openly showing in the light of the setting sun. She had been sure that it was night when she was back in the woods, but out there in the open, the sun was only about halfway through setting. The house she was behind signified that she was in someone's backyard. Judging by how bland the décor was, or lack thereof, Azusa could tell this house was vacant...yet it was strangely familiar, like one of those places you visit once and would only recognize if you returned.

Then it hit her; this was where the kind old lady who took care of Yui and Ui had lived before passing away several months beforehand. Azusa could not, for the life of her, remember what that woman's name had been. Only that Yui called her 'Ma and that she had been extremely caring towards the two girls. This also meant that Azusa was in Yui's old neighborhood.

Step by step, she limped around the side of the house. Walking was horribly difficult for her in her current state. At least one rib was broken, bones were bruised, every part of her felt like it had been dipped in acid, and her soaked panties were riding up inside her in just about the most uncomfortable manner possible. Fighting past all of that, she made it to the twilight-lit side walk in the quiet, apparently empty suburbs of her silent little Japanese town. Nobody was outside. She couldn't even see the cars she heard in the distance now, or hear anything beyond the wind close by. Although it was probably her imagination, Azusa could have sworn the wind sounded...disappointed.

The silence of the street was stirring up emotions of fright that were fighting to subdue the relief she felt for getting out of the dry woods. Feeling wary, paranoid, and like the last person on earth, Azusa limped down the sidewalk towards her home across town; easily a forty minute walk. The neighborhood was a chilling reminder of the times she spent with Yui and her sister there. In the summer they would walk barefoot with ice cream cones down the street, smiling and talking to all the people they met along the way. Back then, everything there seemed so friendly. Now it was like a necropolis in every sense of the word...

...and then Azusa stood before the mausoleum she had hoped to avoid while walking through the empty neighborhood; the old Hirasawa residence, which apparently had gone under new ownership within those seven months. She could understand that. Their parents would want a place that wasn't covered in reminders of their two lost daughters.

Surprisingly, there were two little children playing in the front yard. They couldn't have been older than four or five, both girls with brown hair that went down to about their necks. As far as Azusa could tell, they hadn't even noticed her standing at the sidewalk, looking like she had fallen into a wood chipper, watching them.

"Onee-chan, give him back!" The smaller one cried, chasing after her big sister who had so cleverly pilfered a stuffed rabbit from her, and was now trying to escape with it.

"No, it's mine!" The older sister held it away from her, using her free hand to push the little sister away.

Azusa smiled at their little sibling rivalry, and was glad that home found new residents that were more or less like the old ones. Come to think of it, those two little girls looked at lot like Ui and Yui from those old photo-albums they showed me. The younger sister even had cute little overalls like Ui did, Azusa realized as she crossed another street towards her house.

Nightfall

Telling her parents that she had been hit by a car had worked perfectly, and even scored her a day off of work. It had taken an hour to walk home, with no one stopping to offer a ride to the hospital or the like, or even asking if she was okay. She may as well have been invisible.

Now she was laying naked on her bed, covered in bandages that she had administered herself after declining her mother's offer to aid her in that endeavor. The black light of her room bathed it in a comfortable purple glow, and she had lit some incense to help clear her foggy, fear filled mind. She didn't know why she went into those woods, and how she ended up in Yui's neighborhood when she was going the complete opposite direction. For that matter, she didn't know how she got so lost either, or how she got so cut up. It had been like the woods themselves were acting against her.

After an hour of thinking, with on and off attempts at masturbation to try and relieve some stress, she came up with a conclusion as to why she went in there. She had been trying to find that little clearing where Yui had disappeared. It would have been easy to find if she knew where to look again. The land marks were simple: it was by a small, rushing river, had a circle of stone effigies carved like wolves around it, and was covered in about six inches of leaves, even in May. The place had a strange sort of power, and Azusa knew that some kind of spirit, or even demon, resided there. Whether or not it was malevolent was a mystery to her, but she was closer to believing it was after considering all that had happened.

She decided that tomorrow she would try to call Mio or Tsumugi; she didn't have Ritsu's number, or even knew how to get a hold of her. Somehow she knew that talking to them would make her feel better, and she would try to arrange a meeting so they could get together and jam someday. That was what she needed; to play with friends again, since the only musician she knew was Jun, and Jun was not a bassist she could play guitar with. The girl knew some tricks, but couldn't understand the concept of the instrument being primarily a rhythm piece. Every time they played, it was the same thing. Azusa would do some generic power chord riffing, only to be overpowered by the sound of 32nd note alternate picked bass slides on the two high strings. She would tell Jun to stop doing that because it sounded wrong without a drummer matching it, but the girl would get defensive and claim that since Justin Chancellor did it, then she could too.

Azusa wanted to play with a band, not another person who tried to steal the spotlight with a rhythm instrument who literally replied with, "Anata ga okotte iru?" while smiling. Not understanding why Jun thought saying that was funny, Azusa had gone online and learned she was trying to copy the English saying, "You mad?" Apparently in western culture that saying was used to absolve the speaker of guilt when they committed an outwardly rude act towards another. Azusa didn't understand it at all.

In her purple lit room, she managed to smile despite her aching body. If she couldn't get Mio, and just Tsumugi was available, she would definitely invite Jun. Despite the girl's shortcomings, Azusa admitted she loved being around her and her fat doughnut eating butt.

She drifted off to sleep after hours of restlessly laying on her bed. Her story about being hit by a car worked so well because that's what she felt like. That tumble down the hill had been brutal, and she was considering making an appointment with a doctor to make sure nothing was broken.

It was a mixed blessing that she was gifted with dreams that night. Her dreams after the incident had been either absurdly strange nightmarish forays into a dark foggy world, or just reenactments of days with her friends. Azusa's favorite dreams were the ones where they were playing the school festival show, and she had all her current guitar knowledge. The nightmares that occurred in her sleep were hardly considered nightmares to her, but were called that since the antonym of a happy dream was a nightmare; and these weren't happy dreams. Often times they involved her walking alone, usually naked, down cold industrial hallways choked with mist and fog. Sometimes she would hear voices of people she knew telling her to find them in the endless maze of concrete and metal passages. The scenery was always rusty and brown, reminding her of that one video game that Jun like, one that she couldn't ever remember the title of. The outcome was always the same, her waking up feeling confused.

Tonight was different. She was in a new piece of scenery, and it was a lucid dream by all means. Azusa instantly recognized she was dreaming, and slowly looked down to examine her body. She was wearing her old school uniform and was free of the days previous forest related injuries. Movement was sluggish here, and just looking down had been difficult. This was probably the most frustrating thing any dream could produce to her, and she was already getting angry at it as she tried to walk forward to...wherever this was. At first she couldn't tell, the scenery had been backdrop that she paid no attention to as she examined herself. Now it was fully visible around her.

A forest of sorts, much like the one she had been in today, and where she lost Yui. Although the two were the same, they felt different. One part was mystical, one part was terrifying. She was in a wide clearing, with a rushing stream in front of her about ten meters away. The trees around her were impossibly tall, and all dead. All the plant life was dead, and the blue sky above seemed wrong, like it should have been gray or black to match the mood. It had the qualities of a lonely winter's day, and Azusa wished she would just wake up, or that her dream would change into something else. But no matter how hard she tried to change it, it was stuck like this.

She walked across the fallen dead leaves in a foggy haze. She wasn't wearing shoes, but had her black tights on, which she remembered wearing a whole three times. The black fabric beneath her feet quickly tore and gave away at the ground beneath her, letting the bare skin of her tiny feet make contact with the dried, decaying plant matter. It was strangely unsettling, like she wasn't supposed to feel the leaves beneath her. Dreams like these made her give merit to those theories people had about them being sojourns to another existence; because sometimes they were too real. The flowing stream she had found Yui next to seven months ago was before her now. Except now it was a deep red and completely frozen. Everything around her was now drained of color, and left in gray scale (or had it been the whole time? She couldn't remember), while the river was that same shade of dark scarlet. Behind her, she heard footsteps crunch leaves, prompting her to turn around.

Just like she had expected, there was Hirasawa Yui, alone. No Hirasawa Ui though. Ui was never in her dreams, or hardly in her thoughts at all. Thinking about Ui made Azusa come to the realization that she didn't think about Ui enough, which lead to guilt, which lead to her thinking about her less. It was a difficult thing to think about, let alone accept as reality. This bright, innocent young girl had been murdered with extreme malice. The entire case was strange, and the lack of any sexual acts performed by the killer before her death seemed even stranger. Azusa wasn't the only one who almost wished she had been raped or molested before being stabbed, because then it would have made just a little bit of sense. Sexual impulse was a driving force, and it would have given some kind of reason to the heinous crime. Well, the killer had his way with her, and decided to kill her to prevent her from describing him to the police. Perhaps he had a very distinguishing feature that would have allowed us to find him easily? Why did he mutilate the body so much? Well anyone who rapes a little girl like that already has issues to begin with and... But there was no rape, just senseless death.

"Y-Yui-senpai." Azusa greeted her, stuttering, and shaking very badly. The dream apparition felt terribly out of place, and Yui looked like she had aged seven months. Her hair was just a little longer, her body just a little bit more adult shaped. Azusa had been friends with her for awhile, and spent so much time with her that she was able to pick up on these things easily. Normally in her dreams, Yui was just a reflection of her memories, but this Yui was different.

"Azusa." She nodded in her direction, the chirpy quality of her voice completely gone. That downright scared Azusa. Yui always talked in a chirpy, high strung voice. This was flat, like Nodoka's voice almost, while still sounding like Yui. It was unnerving.

The twin-tailed dreamer didn't know what to say. She knew she was dreaming, but was stuck in this scene and she didn't know how to talk to someone she knew was- Wait, she didn't know that Yui was dead, and mentally kicked herself for not remembering that. Azusa took a slow, deep breath, and spoke, "Are...you...you?"

"Am I me?" Yui took a step forward with a casual look on her face like this was just them talking in class. She was wearing the same outfit as Azusa, with the same lack of shoes. That's because our shoes are at the shoe locker at school, and we forgot to change them, she reasoned in the dream, crafting a story to fit. That was something she often did in dreams; created reason for things to fill the gaps.

"Yes, are you you?" Azusa repeated.

Yui stopped about three meters away, giving a nervous smile that seemed to fit both her and the situation. This made Azusa feel a little better as she replied, "I...think I'm me...uhhh, ask me a question only I know the answer to."

Azusa was at a loss of words, and couldn't even figure out what her own emotions and feelings towards that request were. This looked, sounded, and felt like Yui, but she seemed unsure of herself, which was odd for her senpai. She thought for a moment, then answered, "What's my nick-name?"

"Azu-nyan!" Yui confidently replied, before a strange look washed over her face. It stayed there, like she was trying to remember something, but was replaced with a smile and her old chirpy voice, "Azu-nyan, what are you doing here!"

"Dreaming." Azusa quietly answered with what she thought was the most acceptable response. The dream Yui was making her worried because it was becoming less and less than a memory being replayed, and more and more of her mind tormenting her with images of her lost friend like this. Her best option was to not get involved with this dream sprite.

"Does...that mean I am too?" Yui asked in a quiet voice. There was a hint of emotion that Azusa detected in it, that emotion was hope.

"I don't understand."

"I don't either, but you're here and I get to talk to you!" Yui was smiling now, "I never get to talk to you anymore!"

"I..." Azusa had no idea how to respond to that, then thought of something, "Wait, are you dead!"
The smile faded from Yui's face, "You...you think I'm dead?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking." The twin-tailed dreamer replied to the hazy Yui in front of her. She knew it was wrong to interact with figures in her dreams, and understood how this would affect her when awoke, but continued nonetheless.

"I can't be dead, I'm right here, aren't I?" Dream-Yui gave a shaky laugh, and stepped towards Azusa, who took a step back from her, "And you can hear me, and you're not dead either, right?"

"R-Right..." She stepped back again.

"T-That means we can be together again, somehow!" It sounded like this Dream-Yui was trying to reason with herself or something. She was smiling madly, trying to stifle laughter, "Azu-nyan, can I try and hug you?"

No! Azusa's mind instantly shouted, but her lips said otherwise, "Yes."

Before she could even blink, Yui's arms were around her, and they were embracing each other. After being hugged nearly daily for two years by her, Azusa was hit with a tidal wave of nostalgia. It was a dream. Yui was part of this dream, and she knew it wasn't anything more than that; but it all felt painfully real. Her head was right below Yui's chin, as was normal in their hugging form, and from there, everything felt like it should have in real life. The school uniform Yui was wearing smelled the same, like her along with the subtle smell of floral laundry detergent. The only thing awry about this situation was how incomplete Yui felt against her. She was all there, but in a strange way, part of her felt missing.

Now Azusa was crying, clutching the fabric of Yui's clothes, "You're supposed to be dead! That's what everyone says!"

"Don't cry Azu-nyan." Her potentially deceased senpai whispered, stroking her hair, "I'm not dead. I'm really not."

"Then where are you!" She screamed, tiny fists slamming into Yui's chest, "You just disappeared and left me alone! It's selfish!"

"I didn't mean to leave you alone." Yui was beginning to weep too, but was trying hard to look like she wasn't.

"Then come back!" Azusa screamed with all the force her sobbing voice could muster. It came out as a choking squeak.

Yui held her tighter, failing to keep her composure. Big watery tears slid down her cheeks, with mucus trailing down her nose. Some women looked cute when they cried, Yui happened to be one of them, "I can't, Azu-nyan. Every time I try..." She sniffled, her voice falling apart, "Everything goes black."

"Then let me come to you!" The younger guitarist whimpered, "Tell me where you are and I'll find you."

"I'm here, Azu-nyan, always nearby."

Awake

Noise exploded near Azusa's ear as her cellphone loudly played Can't Buy Me Love by The Beatles, making her instantly regret making that play every time she got a call. She sat upwards, shoving the blanket away from her, nearly screaming in anger. Her alarm clock said it was six in the morning. Someone was calling her at six in the morning. In her flurry of anger, kicking bedding away, and pulling at her hair, the phone went to voice mail.

"Hey, Azusa-chan!" It was Jun, "Uh, I heard you got in an accident and wondered if you wanted to spend today at my house playing video games or something. Sorry if this woke you up!"

That was right, Jun was unemployed. Azusa grabbed the phone and threw it across the room into the wall, "Who the hell calls people at six AM on a Thursday!"

There was a crack as the device hit the wall, and her touch screen phone was more than likely shattered now. Azusa didn't care though. She was hardly able to control her anger at being awakened from that dream. The first sign of Yui in seven months was ruined because Jun liked to stay up all night and call people.

She flopped back down, burying her face in her pillow, still crying from her dream. That was it. Yui was still waiting for Azusa just as Azusa was waiting for her. From what the distraught little girl could tell, they were separated somehow; like they were in two different planes of reality. She perfectly understood how silly that was to think, but it wasn't anymore silly in her opinion than someone getting away with butchering a high school girl, and then her sister flat out disappearing from existence without a trace. Hell, chances were that unicorns or dragons were somehow involved in all of this.

Always nearby, well Azusa certainly didn't ever see her nearby. Then again, nearby was incredibly subjective in this case. For all Azusa knew, Dream Yui could have been telling her to commit suicide. The only thing she was sure of was how that had been Yui, the real Yui.

The only place Azusa could think that she would be was that special spot on the woods; the place where she vanished. It was up to her to find it and somehow follow Yui to where she had gone. Then they could be together. She was prepared to give up what little of a life she had for that. If her friends had stuck around a bit more and helped her past the grief, things would have been different. Instead, all they gave were a few words of stunned sympathy to the grieving parents of Ui and Yui, simply too shocked to react to losing one of their friends. Nobody had been there for Azusa.

She had skipped the funeral, sitting at home in her room. Her father was a police officer and owned a Glock 17. She had held the cold metal pistol in her hands and had considered taking her own life then and there. After thirty minutes of pressing the cold barrel to the roof of her mouth and waiting for her fingers to finally muster the courage to pull the trigger, she came to the conclusion that Yui wasn't dead. Seven months later, that decision finally paid off. In a way it felt wonderful, since she had spent much of that time regretting not just splattering her brains all over the wall of her room and leaving a note simply saying, "Sorry about the mess."

There was a secret in those woods, something beyond the eyes of normal people.

And Azusa would find it.

Azusa would find Yui.

TO BE CONTINUED

(Thank you to Mister Yada for your excellent job beta-reading)