Ishimaru opened the fridge. He stared at the apple. He held the apple. He looked at his face in the reflection of the glistening apple. He thought...He thought...He might be ugly. How could Mondo love a face like this... There was only one cure for his negative feelings.
He had to poop out twenty-five cactus needles in order to expel the negativity. He gently placed the apple back in the fridge. He closed the fridge. He called for Mondo...
"Yeah?" Mondo said, seductively.
Ishimaru closed his eyes. He turned around.
"Mondo, my darling, I have some bad news. Recently, I have been overcome with feelings of...low self-esteem...You know what this means, yes?"
Mondo's brow furrowed in worry. He closed his eyes. He opened them again, and placed his hand on Ishimaru's shoulder.
"Don't worry, babe, I'll help you shit out those cactus needles."