TACTICS
A TORCHWOOD FANFICTION
PAIRING: Ianto x Jack
AUTHOR: Djap
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the boys and I won't make any money with them. Promise.
SUMMARY: Owen just doesn't get why. Ianto explains as patiently as he can.
GENRE: Established Relationship
LANGUAGE: English
BETA: Neenabluegirl – like always thanks for your help
…
Tactics
a Djap story
…
/Thunk, thunk, thunk/
"Owen, stop it."
/Thunk/
"You're seriously getting on my nerves."
/THUNK/
"Owen! What the hell do you want from me?"
Owen put the basketball away and smirked.
"An explanation."
"No."
"You don't even know what I'm talking about yet." Owen whined.
"I don't owe you an explanation about anything, Owen."
"Come on, tea-boy. It's about Jack."
Ianto turned around and got back to work, completely ignoring Owen who still sat on the stool beside him.
/Thunk, thunk, thunk/
The pencil in Ianto's hand broke in two halves, causing Owen to smirk.
"Stop it Owen, or you'll regret it."
/Thunk/
"Owen!"
"You could just talk to me."
"No."
"Why not."
"Because it always ends up in a fight between us, because you can't keep your mouth shut when it's good for you."
"But I heard you talking to Gwen about Jack." Owen sounded smug but Ianto had not the slightest idea why.
"So?"
"So you can talk to her about him but not to me?"
"Exactly."
"That's not fair." Owen whined.
"Your fault, not mine. You are the one who always uses the crude words, not me."
"Come on, I don't believe anymore that you're just his part-time shag."
"See?"
Owen rolled his eyes. "Look, I see now that this is about love for you."
"And?"
"And that it even might…" Owen cringed at the words but bravely finished them "... be about love for him – in a weird Jack-way."
"So?"
"I just don't get it."
Now Ianto rolled his eyes.
"What, do I need to tell you about the birds and bees?"
"That's not what I meant, Ianto. Even I can see why you might be attracted to him and why he may be attracted to you…"
"You do…?" Ianto asked surprised.
"Not my point. I just don't understand why you keep standing behind him."
"Is this your weird way to ask who's on top?"
"No. This isn't about the you shagging each other part and ew… never ever raise that topic again within my hearing range." Owen made a face as if he was going to puke.
Ianto chuckled. "Come on, you're a big boy already. You've walked in on us more than once…"
"You could do it somewhere else, you know. We might all go blind one day…"
"But this is so much more fun…"
"See? That is exactly what I mean." Owen pointed out looking smug again.
"What? Owen seriously. I have no idea what you are talking about."
"You've evolved."
"Huh?"
"Don't look at me like I've lost it. You really have. At first you were deadly embarrassed whenever anybody asked you about your relationship with Jack and now you even tease me about the sexual details without so much as blushing."
" And what have I evolved into? The last part may have to do with having to deal with you on a regular basis by the way and not with me having changed…"
"Into a strong man, who could fight his fights on his own."
"Are you making fun of me?"
Owen looked impatient now. "No. I mean every word."
"Well… thank you then… I think."
"You started here as a broken man, looking for help for your girlfriend."
Ianto looked guarded at that choice of topic because discussions with Owen about Liza usually never went very well.
"You did all that you could for her. You even endangered the whole world to help her. You weren't strong enough yet to see that the only way to help her was to kill her."
The words still stung although Ianto had learned to accept the truth months ago.
"I don't know if I could do it though."
"You could." And Owen looked so serious as he said it that Ianto was surprised how convinced of it he really was. "I do believe in you."
"Did you… hurt your head somewhere? Are you feeling aftereffects of the use of the glove? Where is Owen and what have you done to him?"
"I am fine, Ianto. I'm just honest with you."
"So what is it that you don't get? I really don't understand…"
"Why are you hiding behind Jack if you could be a leader yourself?"
"Not everybody is such a megalomaniac like you. If there are only leaders, who does the work?"
"Not everyone could be a leader. But you could."
"You're overestimating me. I'm not that strong."
"I'm not overestimating. It's what you could be if you just wanted it."
"I believe in what he does, in what we all do here."
"Even if you think differently sometimes?"
"Yes. Even then."
"Why not speak up to him more often? He would listen to you."
"Exactly. He does. That's why I do it only whenever I think it's really necessary."
"He isn't right all the time, even if he thinks so." Owen finally pointed out, trying to make Ianto see where this was going.
"So what? Making mistakes is human. That goes for you too. He always stands up for us, even gives his life."
Owen snorted. "What a hardship when you can't die."
Ianto's look grew cold. "Did you ever think about how much it hurts to die? How afraid he could be to never come back this time? Did you ever ask him how painful it is when his body regenerates?"
"But he does come back…" Owen defended himself lamely, but Ianto had hit a sore spot. He actually hadn't thought about that side of Jack's everlasting life at all.
"That choice was taken away from him a long time ago. But he has chosen to take responsibility for us, to take the pain for us. You just don't let him do it for you and that's why you are so jealous of me. I let him take my pain away, but you just can't do that."
"That's ridiculous."
"It isn't. It's the truth."
Both men were interrupted as Gwen came into the room, closely followed by Jack who was grinning broadly at a joke Gwen had just made.
"Is anyone interested in a basketball match?" Jack finally asked.
Owen ignored their leader and looked at Ianto: "That's a good example. You're a great basketball player, but you never play with us. And if you do, you only play in Jack's team and never shoot yourself. You always pass to Jack to make the point."
Ianto shrugged while Gwen and Jack looked between them forth and back, sensing that they had interrupted a very serious discussion.
"He's the better player and makes the point in about 99% of the time."
"That's a lie, and we both know it, Ianto. Tell me the truth."
For a moment Ianto didn't answer, not looking at anyone in the room. Gwen wanted to leave but Jack stopped her, a small, very fond smile playing around his lips. He went over to Ianto and just wordlessly kissed him on his head.
Only then Jack left the two men alone, pulling Gwen along with him.
Owen, surprised by Jack's behavior, just stared at Ianto, willing him to answer his question.
When Ianto finally looked at Owen, he was also wearing a small, fond smile.
"I'm really sorry for you, but I can't answer this to your satisfaction. You're just not the type of human being to understand it, are you?"
"What…"
But Ianto interrupted him "No, let me finish. I do it because I just don't want the control. I like getting lost in the small details of the daily work. It helps keeping me sane. I love giving up control to Jack and that includes every way of my life. I haven't felt like that ever before with anyone, but I certainly feel that way with Jack. It's my choice and I can stop doing it whenever I want. Until now I just choose not to, because it makes me so incredibly happy."
Obviously having finished his little speech, Ianto stood up and made motions to leave the room. Owen wanted to stop him but in the end decided against it. Perhaps Ianto was right. Perhaps he just wasn't the kind of man who could ever understand that.
But why did that truth leave such a terrible taste in his mouth?
And what was real strength anyway?
…
Endless End
Finished Aken 9thSeptember 2010