Expectations

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic.

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship).

Part One

The Kaede Behind The Mask

Rukawa Kaede. Just the mere mention of the name brings girls and some boys to manic drooling. Such flawless and graceful moves inside the court would make the best sensual dancer envious, together with the pale, handsome face always stoic but handsome nevertheless. He is the heartthrob of Shohoku High, a member of the All Japan Team. Who would believe that this boy is full of insecurities?

Yes. He seems so good at everything he does. But unless sleeping while biking is regarded as something, that everything is only one thing – basketball. Good looks and good basketball skills… definitely, Rukawa Kaede must have been wanting for something more.

He dropped himself to the bed and stayed still for a long moment, letting the breeze from the fan cool him. He had done it again, he thought. His teammates rejoiced after their win but he just stood at one corner acting indifferently. He was happy. He was happy not only because he managed to defeat Sawakita Eiji and Sannoh High, but because his team achieved what they aimed for from the beginning. True that they were not able to defeat Aiwa because of their condition, but they knew they made the best. The people believed that too. So he was happy but he could not show it. He could not even offer a smile to his teammates.

Once he returned to Kanagawa, fans flocked around him which he found irritating. He knew that he should be contented, and even flattered, knowing that they adored him – that people adored him the way Sakuragi Hanamichi wanted for himself. He could not help it though and no one could blame him. After all, he needed rest after so many days of exhaustion. He, too, needed rest. He, too, needed rest even from basketball.

He stared at all the trophies he collected during his years of playing. If he was just a different person then, he could have smiled and appreciated all those good things that happened to him, but he was Rukawa, the so-called Ice King, that even being alone in his room could not make him release whatever emotion he wanted to release.

Sometimes he would get tired of basketball, too, but he knew he should not. After all, that was where he was at his best; it was where people appreciated him. But then, basketball is only temporary. What woud happen to him if he could no longer play? Would he be forgotten? Unnoticed? Maybe he should die even before that time comes.

But as of now, basketball is his only strong hold. He could not lose it now – not now that he is perfect for it.

"Are you running away from Sendoh?"

He was shocked when his coach asked him that. He never thought of beating Sendoh after their match. He never thought of beating Sendoh after the Inter-High. But everybody thought of that, maybe even Sendoh himself.

"No…"

"I still believe that Sendoh is better than you."

Kaede knew that Anzai-sensei did not mean that as an insult but rather an advice to make himself better. Better. They mean 'be the best'. Kaede knew that he and Sendoh were similar in many ways except that Sendoh wore a cheerful mask and he, on the other hand, an emotionless one.

Both of them were shouldering big responsibilities. People watched them with high expectations and they could not let them down. It might sound unusual for Rukawa Kaede to care for what people expect of him, but it was the truth. Everybody is like that. They wanted to be what others expected them to be that at times they already would not know what they really were and what they really wanted.

So what if Sendoh was better than him? He did not want to beat Sendoh to be the best after all. He saw Sendoh as a challenge rather than a rival. But people mistunderstood it. He played basketball because he loved the game; he loved the court and the challenge. He did not play because of fame, because of titles or because he wanted to defeat a complete stranger known to be better than him.

"Be the best in Japan first…"

Was that an order or a challenge? Either ways, he was inclined to follow.

He got up from his bed and walked to the bathroom. He accidentally faced the mirror and stared at his reflection. He could still see the bruise in the side of his eye where Minami intentionally hit him. At some point he was contented knowing that he made someone realize, or rather, remember his dream. He sighed and went inside the bathroom, closed its door and turned the knob of the shower.

To be continued…

Do you have any suggestions, criticism or whatever? Feedback is accepted: just e-mail me at miku_