A lost mind, a preview of Novas next trial
"...Are you sure about this?" Rarity asked her eyes wide with fear. Princess Celestia nodded her own features sad.
"We have to do this now, it has its risks...but if we don't try Nova may be lost to us"
"And there's no other way?" Rarity asked a slight pleading edge in her voice. This couldn't be the only way, for the love of the Goddess this couldn't be the only way.
"I'm sorry Rarity, you love your husband i know...but there's nothing else we can do"
"It's ok mum" Blaze said, standing beside his mother. His own face was marred with fear, but also determination. Celestia could see the fire in his eyes, just like his father. "Celestia's an expert in this, she's done this before, she won't get it wrong" the determination was plain in his voice, he wasn't going to give up.
"yes i have Blaze...but your fathers condition has seriously deteriorated. I must confess i did this to him, i know his imprisonment would lead to this...but since his return I'd convinced myself it wouldn't reach this stage" Celestia sighed and turned her head to look through the one way glass set in the wall, a tear ran down her cheek as she looked upon the occupant inside.
Her brother Nova was sitting in the middle of the pure white room, his skin blending into the walls and the floor. His mane and tail had grown long and trialled along the floor around him, they'd wrapped around him and made it look like his was sitting in a lake of fire. His wings slowly moved back and forward, gently stirring the air as they moved. His face was one of serene calm, and through the glass she could hear him humming a gentle tune, she could hear the words in her mind 'hush now, quiet now...quiet now, night you sleepy head, time to go to bed' as she watched Nova finished the song, closed his eyes and sighed, his body growing still.
The worst moments where when he was still, when they couldn't tell what he was going to do next. Sometimes, the best times, he would start seeing waking dreams, nightmares and hellish visions from his past and the darkest depths of his suppressed memories. He would scream and shout, bucking and clawing at the walls to get out. Once he'd seen something so horrid he'd begun clawing at his eyes, ripping at the skin around them and causing blood to run freely down his face. Once the doctors had tried to restrain him, but he'd seen them as something else and fought them with a vicious fury, it was only when she'd personally taken a role in his subduction that he'd been pacified, though he'd still whimpered.
Other times he'd start seeing more pleasant memories, ones from his childhood and his short lived years of innocence. He'd laugh and giggle and run around the room like a foal, his cheeks flushed and his eyes alive with happiness. He'd play games with himself like chasing his own tail and singing lullabies gently under his breaths, and whenever the nurses brought him food he would ask for his mother, or ask if they wanted to join in with his games. The worst times where when he simply didn't move, he would stay stock still, barely breathing. At times like that he would wrap up into a ball and simply lay there. Once he'd remained still for a whole week, not once eating or drinking. His skin hung loosely on his bones, he was a living cadaver.
It was painful, watching as her brother degraded in front of her very eyes. Everyday she'd come down and watched as Novas mind had slipped further in madness, as she lost her brother once again. Right now Nova had slipped into one of his child like phases, whipping round in circles as he chased his tail, trying to bite it in his mouth, he was giggling profusely. Rarity began to cry and turned her face from the window, unable to watch as she lost her husband. Blaze held his mother in his hooves and shielded her from what she was seeing, his own face twitching as he saw his own noble father become no worse than a new born. "Nova..." Rarity whimpered into Blazes shoulder "Oh Nova...please no"
Celestia felt more tears prick at her eyes, but she tried to hold them back. It was just her, Rarity and Blaze in the small analysis room, nopony else. But she had to retain her composure, as a princess was meant to. "why?" Blaze asked, no emotion in his voice. 'he's long abandoned hope, he doesn't feel anything anymore, it's been to much' Celestia knew what he was asking and hung her head, letting the tears flow freely.
"Alicorns live for eternity Blaze, they're immortal" she explained, looking him straight in the eyes, she had to give him this decency."And over those years we gain much knowledge, many things nopony should ever know. We learn magic, both light and dark. We experience peace and war, serenity and rage, love and loss. Our knowledge builds and builds until we are unable to contain it and it drives us to insanity, our minds are crushed under its oppressive weight. But there's a way for us to prevent this self destruction. Using magic we can drain away excess memories and knowledge, preventing our minds from over loading. Luna and i go through such treatment every hundred years or so, but Nova has gone for over eight thousand years without memories being drained" she looked again at Nova, who had magically summoned crayons from nowhere and was drawing a crude Pegasus on the wall, the crayon held in his mouth. "it's my fault this is happening to him, and because of my actions we are left with one choice"
Blaze nodded, accepting the path in front of him without hesitation. "what's going to happen?"
"we'll have to use mind regression to infiltrate Novas psyche and slowly age him from within. We'll suppress his motor functions until he has the same mental capacity of a foal, and then reactivate his functions one by one, draining out memories as we do so"
"and what's the risk?"
"...if we fail...your father could regress back into a foal and take years to return to normal, but with the personality of a totally different pony...or he could go mad, and be lost to us forever..."