The Battle of Gor
Epic Two
Written by Cartman's Girl and Invader Poe

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Chapter Two

Zib jumped up onto the couch with some difficulty, glaring at Gir, who was inches away from the television,

"Gir, get out of the way so I can watch!"

"Happy pop tart super model cheese wedges!" Gir replied chripily, but still didn't move.

"I'm the offspring of your Master, that gives me authority over you, you know!" Well, Zib wasn't sure if it actually did or not, but it couldn't hurt to try. The little robot's antennae flopped,

"Awwww.... okie Mini-Master Baby." Gir got to his feet and backed up onto the couch, and sat besides Zib.

"I am not a baby!" He glared, scowling at Gir in a rather Zim-like fashion, "I'm the equivillent to being nearly 7 years old." He huffed indignantly and folded his arms, but scooted over for Gir. "So, um, what're you watching?"

"I dunno." Gir replied, on the screen it shown a tree. Just a tree in a park with birds in it. Zib stared at it for a while, getting bored after less than a minute.

"I wonder when that sitter will be getting here…" He mumbled to himself, leaning back against the cushions.

"Who dat?" the little robot looked over at Zib, since he hadn't been paying attention about sitter or anything.

"Mom called someone over to watch us," he grumbled, looking disgruntled about the whole manner, "He knows full well I'm old enough to look out after myself!"

"Awww.." Gir just stared at Zib for a while, then leapt and glomped around his head. "I WUV YOU MINI MASTER!" he squealed happily.

"NYAG! GET OFF ME!" Zib fell over, easily toppled by the robot who was only a bit smaller than he was, squirming. "You're messing up my hair!" Not that it wasn't already a scruffy mess. But the little bot just laughed hysterically as he held onto Zib, realising he hadn't done this in forever to his Master or Zib - and at that moment, somebody knocked on the door. Gir's eyecams telescoped, but still he was clamped around Zib's head.

"Argh! Come on, Gir, I gotta get the door!" He tried to push the robot off with his claws, the sounds of struggle coming from just inside the door probably a bit of concern for the knocker. Eventually the door opened, and Cten looked in. She was in her usual disguise, alone. Beka obviously left at her base to deal with the fire.

"What the-?" Gir looked up at Cten, his eyecams gleaming.

"Ms. CeeTen!" he declared, and let go of Zib, who groaned and rubbed his head, the tiny robot's metal claws not being very comfortable. He felt around the couch for his glasses, misplaced by Gir's affections, holding them up by the handles and peering through them at the sitter.

"Oh, hey Ms. Cten."

"Hi Zib, Gir." she shut the door behind her and walked up to the two. "So I take by the urgency Zim had something big happening?"

"Mom said he had some big meeting thing on the moon." Zib shrugged and set his glasses on his face mysteriously and tried to push his hair back into the mess it use to be, instead of the one it was now.

"Ah." she then flicked at his hair, placing a few strands back in place. "Look I've never been a sitter before… I don't really know what it's all about."

"It's all about the pentiums baby!" Gir screeched, and did a little dance number. Zib scrunched up, but was cooperative while she fixed his hair, before looking at Gir worriedly.

"Just as long as you don't have any 'special' bed time stories like Poe did…" He shuddered at the memory.

"Well, I know a few stories but I think the're suitable for you… and Gir." she glanced at the robot who was know break-dancing.

"Like what?" Zib looked up curiously, "Mom never told me any stories and Dad doesn't know any good ones."

"Hrmm… well I know the one abot the Three Irkens and the Big Bad Blorchian for one… Sleeping Tallest… some of the older fairy tales 'n stuff like that." she sat down besides him on the couch, "It's what the nurses read to us when we were still in the Nest."

"In the Nest?" Zib turned his head, Zim never having told him the specifics of Irken reproduction.

"Yeah, what you don't know?" she raised an eyebrow as she took her wig off. Zib shook his head,

"Mom never told me much about how you aliens live."

"Ah." Cten nodded, then hit a button on her pod and her disguise vanished, revealing her Irken maid's outfit. "Well if you wanna know…"

"All he does is go on and on about how Irkens are superior to humans and stuff. I could use the info for my research an' stuff." He pulled out an oversized notepad and a pencil, looking up at Cten, "So what's this Nest thing?" He wondered, "And why don't you have a uniform like Mom's?"

"Well, the Nest is where we Irkens are reproduced. Some are done naturally, some are done through genetic engineering, similar to how you came to be. But we're grown in these cases of green goop, and once we're the right size, the giant arm sparks us to life once we're given our paks." she pointed back to her pak, "An Irken can't be an Irken without it, without it, you'd be just a lump of flesh 'n bones. Yeah we can take it off, but not for long periods of time." she then gestured to her suit, "We're trained to be what we are, your Mom was to be an Invader, I was to be something else." Zib carefully noted these things, showing a dedication rare for one of his age. He looked back at his own pak,

"I got one of those too. I'm not sure how to use it, though… it kinda does as it wants." He then wondered something, "What were you trained to be?"

"Well if I tell you, you might tell your Mom…" she trailed off, if Zim found out she was really a maid instead of an Invader, he might catch on about the whole fake-plan thing.

"Oh," He shrugged, letting it go, "What about the Reject? I mean, what kinda jobs do they do? Mom just said they were another group but that they were bad. He's not one for explaining much."

"Ah, Poe told me about that… he was a Reject after he was born, and from then he painted Voot Cruiser for a living." she glanced up at the ceiling, where Zim's Voot Cruiser would be, if it was there. "After that, he just lived on the streets like other Rejects."

"Oh. I wonder why Mom doesn't like him. I mean yeah, he's scary but he was kinda nice I guess." Zib looked around as if he'd said something he wasn't suppose to, and confided, "He's told me he thinks you hang out with the Reject too much. Well… he didn't really tell me, I just overheard him ranting. Dad says Mom isn't a very good Mom in that respect…" Zib trailed off rambling, having aquired the little kid habit of repeating things he's heard adults (well, adults to him) say.

"I know what you mean Zib," she smiled, then folded her arms, "It's just, Poe's easier to get along with then your Mom, no offence intended. I like Zim, really I do but Poe's just… nicer. I guess." Zib nodded slightly,

"He's not all that nice to me, and Dad says me and Gir are the people he treats the best." He shrugged, then giggled slightly, "I think he's just jealous."

"Yeah well, Dib doesn't have friends… he has someone who crushes over him, but no one who likes likes him." she smiled gently, "But your Mom is very protective of you, so be thankful for that."

"But I don't NEED to be protected," he insisted in a… Zimmy tone, "I'm a great… um…" he scratched the side of his head, "…whatever I am."

"Still, I'm sure Zim would save you from something bad. Like… uh… I dunno." she shrugged, noticing Gir who was now fast asleep on the floor.

"Well… I guess that's good," he mumbled, swinging his legs back and forth from the couch. He followed her gaze and scowled slightly at Gir, "I dunno why Mom likes him though. Gir doesn't listen at all."

"I'm not sure either!" Cten looked to Zib, "Maybe he was just company since being away from your home planet would make one lonely."

"Must be pretty desperate then," Zib shrugged and looked around, before his stomach, or something related, growled. He looked up at Cten pleadingly, "Were you gonna make dinner, Ms. Cten?"

"Aw, course I will!" she got off the couch, "What do you want?"

"Hm… D'you know how to make hamburgers?" He grinned hopefully, hoping that Zim hadn't warned her about not feeding him human food. She nodded, and headed to the kitchen.

"Oh yeah, so do you want sauce and letuce on it or what?" Zib wrinkled the area where a nose would be,

"Just sauce, veggies are nasty." Some preferences were universal among kids of all species, it seemed.

"All right." she got to the table and pulled something from her pod, which looked similar to a small freezer, she pulled out what looked like hamburger meat.

"I'll make a couple, if Gir wakes up he'll cry about us leaving him out of it." she freezer vanished into her pod, now replaced by what seemed like an Irken grill. She inserted the meat into it and shut the lid.

"Yay!" Zib followed her to the kitchen, then danced around happily, "I haven't had burgers in FOREVER." He jumped up onto a chair and fidgited, waiting impatiently.

"I haven't even tried them!" Cten replied, "But, thanks to those cook shows I know how to make them."

"Gir watches those all the time," Zib snorted, "He gets confused when he can't find an already finished version of the meal in the oven or whatever when he tries it himself." He eyed the grill hungrily, "How long will that take?" He said, voice teetering on the edge of being whiney. Cten moved a small sliding plate thingie, looking in on them.

"Not long now… now flip." she opened it up, and pulled a spatcula-like device, which had three heads to it. With that, she flipped all three at once, they turned a few times in mid air before landing back on the grill, which shut down over it again. "Zib, could you find the sauce somewhere?"

"Um, alright…" Zib hopped down from his chair and opened up the fridge. Most of the stuff inside was either a mess left by Gir or something contained in Tupperware and neatly labled belonging to Zim, but Zib managed to find the ketchup and other toppings among Gir's messes. Taking the various bottles in his arms, he kicked the door closed and wandered over to Cten with some difficulty. She leant over and relieved him by taking some of the bottles from him, placing them on the table.

"Mustard? Yuck." she scrunched up where her nose would be, but shrugged it off. She got a plate from her pod and placed it on the table, before whipping out some burger-buns and put them on the plate.

"I just got everything that looked like it could go on a burger," He looked back at the fridge warily, "I could see why Mom isn't too keen on cleaning that out. Some of that stuff looked like it was alive…" He made his way back up onto his chair, squirming around eagerly.

"Heh." Cten then got her super-spatcula out and the lid opened up. She quickly flipped the meat onto the buns, pre-sliced of course. "So you just want meat 'n sauce Zib? No cheese or anything?" she glanced at the doorway, seeing Gir peering into the room.

"Oh, cheese is fine. Just no horrible veggie-things." He made a face, then noticed Gir and scowled, previously hoping to procure the extra burger for himself.

"Okie dokie chiefy!" she put the cheese atop his meat, and splattered some sauce on. Then she wrapped it in a napkin and handed it over to him, then turned to Gir. "C'mon Gir, I got you one with everything." the little robot smiled and hurried up to the table, hands on the table and just tall enough to look over it.

"Eeeevrythin'?" he asked quietly,

"Yes. Mustard, sauce, letuce, cheese, more cheese, pickles, beans, bubblegum... and this brown thing I found." she holded up the burger as she placed the things on. "Ick." she mouthed to herself, but handed it to the robot. Zib tore into the burger, hardly remembering to take off the napkin first, stuffing half of it beyond his zipper-shaped teeth in the first bite.

"This is good, Ms. Cten!" He praised muffedly as he chewed, sputtering crumbs onto his chin.

"Glad you like it." Cten got hers ready last, slicing what looked like a pickle on, and some letuce on and bit into hers. Gir was making a mess by taking his burger apart while sat on the floor, eating each object seperately then smacking his lips together.

"Yummy!" he cried happily, sauce dripping down his front. Zib finished his quickly and carelessly wiped off his mouth with his glove sleeve.

"Hm…" He looked around the kitchen, "Now what?"

"Now…" she finished eating hers, and looked at the mess Gir was in and made, and how Zib had sauce down his front. "…first we clean the kitchen, then you two."

"Awwwwww!" Gir whined, folding his arms poutily.

"Hey, I don't want Zim coming back and blaming me for a messy base!"

"Clean? But-" Zib started to protest, then recalled how, well, anal Mom was about things getting messy. "Alright…" He sighed in resignment and slid off of his chair, getting a paper towel and swabbing off the area he'd scattered with crumbs on the table.

"Thanks Zib." Cten then pulled a mop out of her pod, and used it to slide Gir across the room to clean the mess he had made. "What do want to do after then?" Gir now stood up and wiped his front with his hands, then sucked on his hands, to clean them too. Ick.

"You're lucky," Zib mumbled, "You can be rinsed off in the sink or something. I get the cleaning gel.."

"Hehehe!" Gir giggled and pointed at Zib, "Baby bath!" Zib clenched his fists and scrunched up his shoulders, glaring daggers at Gir,

"I am not a baby!"

"Baby!" the little robot retorted, poking his tongue out at Zib.

"AM NOT!" Zib shrieked loudly, and tried to tackle Gir, but young alien hybrid versus a metal robot… well, Zib was felled and Gir didn't even have to do anything but stand there.

"…ow."

"Boys!" Cten, who had been busy with the stain now on the floor walked over and picked Zib up, "Gir, don't call Zib a baby, you hear me?" Gir frowned slightly and just kicked at the ground. She frowns, then looks down at Zib,

"You okay Zib?" Zib whimpered and rubbed the area of his nonexistant nose, sniffling somehow.

"He got my… um… place where my nose would be if I had one."

"Gir, go to… uhh… your room I guess." Cten wasn't sure if Gir had a room or not, but the little bot left the room anyway, muttering about something or other incoharant that just happened. "…is he always like that?" she asked, tenderly rubbing where Zib's nose would be.

"Yeah," Zib sniffed and rubbed at his eye with his gloves, displacing his glasses slightly, "He makes fun of me and stuff when Mom isn't around, and he listens to me even less than he will Mom."

"Huh…" she glanced at the door, then at Zib. "I think Gir's jealous!" Zib blinked,

"Jealous? Why?"

"Maybe since he met your Mom it'd just been the two of them. Then, all of a sudden you arrive, and from what I can tell, your Mom probably talks to you nicer and more then he does to Gir." she got a tissue and wiped at his face, where a stain now was since Gir was still sticky when Zib had tackled him, "So, maybe he's just jealous of the attention you get."

"Oh." Zib looked a bit guilty, before squirming beneath the napkin, "Well, still, he should go out and… find something else to do. He can't make fun of me just cuz Mom likes me better." He huffed.

"I think that's how older siblings deal with younger siblings, if you can call Gir a sibling." she stood up, hands to her hips. "He acts like a kid, so I think it counts."

"I guess, but still." He folded his arms and stared at the floor, "I thought he was suppose to be our robot slave, not another kid."

"Now now, just because he's a robot doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings. But this conversation can wait, you need your bath."

"Aw…" Zib scowled further, hopes that she'd forgotten dashed, "Fine, fine… The cleaning gel basin is somewhere in the main base…"

"Well you show me, and we'll get it over and done with." she ushered him to the toilet, and the two climbed into the elevator. Unbeknownst to them, Gir is pulling on his doggie disguise, and is already out the front door and down the road. Gasp! He's regressing back to teen-angst! …if he had any. Zib grudgingly showed her where the basin was, and how he thought was the way to turn it on. But we shall leave this little scene right now, we'll hear about how it went. What with Zib about to be bathed by a girl instead of his Mom… we shall follow the run-away robot-puppy thing.

Gir's walking down the street, his ears haunched back and he just looks upset. Aww, poor dear. Poe was wandering by in the opposite direction, having seen smoke rising from the direction of Cten's house and was on his way to investigate, when he nearly bumped into the sulky little dog-bot.

"Hey-- Gir?!" Poe asked in surprise, unuse to seeing Gir displaying any emotion but insane enthusiasm.

"Oh. hello Mr. Reject." the little robot replied, looking at the ground.

"'Mr. Reject'? What happened to 'Poe'?" Poe kneeled down to be face-to-face with Gir, hands on his knees, "What's the matter, Zim being a jerk again?" Gir shook his head, looking up at Poe.

"Master likes Mini-Master more." he folded his arms and made a humh sound, "I was here first." Poe blinked and pondered this, tapping his chin,

"Well, Zib is still young. Zim's probably gotta take care of him more since he's.. um.. littler and doesn't know stuff." Poe didn't have much experience with family matters, but he tried. Gir stared at Poe blankly for a while.

"Is he gonna be there in a week still?"

"A week? He might still be there for years, Gir, you're gonna have to get use to him." He shrugged, "Zim probably likes you just as much as he did before, he just has to pay more attention to Zib because Zib isn't as.. uh.. self-sufficient as you. Yeah! Zim knows you can take care of yourself, but Zib's just a hatchling. Or… whatever he came out of."

"…Master thinks I'm smart??" the puppy dog eyes lit up, Gir clasping his paws together and his tail wagging near 100 mph.

"Psh, of course," Poe improvised, use to stroking egos in a somewhat kinder form of manipulation, "He must not have that same faith in Zib if he's taking extra care of him."

"…oh!" Gir's eyes glanced away, at the smoke which was still billowing from Cten's base. "Lookie Poe, BBQ!" he then pointed at the smoke.

"Um… I kinda doubt that," he winced slightly, "I was just on my way over to see what was up, wanna come?"

"Okie dokie Poe!" Gir took Poe's hand into his paw, "Then I'll have a hotdog!"

"Ehm, alrighty." Poe let the little robot hang onto his hand and started toward Cten's base, through the suburbs and out into the more rural area. The amount of smoke only seemed to increase as they got closer, "I don't think that's good… we better hurry."

"Kay!" Gir's feet/rockets burst to life, and he shot off towards the house, dragging Poe after him. Poe yelped and hung onto his wig with his free hand, the metal tips of his boots sending sparks flying behind them as they flew across the ground. Needless to say, they got there pretty quickly.

"Jeeze, what happened here?" The base was pretty much alight in flames, and stood in front of it with a single garden hose spraying water, was Beka. She sighed, and tossed it away. Gir watched the flames, mesmerised.

"Oooooo…"

"What started the fire?" Poe started towards Beka, eyeing the flames warily, "Maybe we can still put it out somehow…" He said, though he knew there wasn't much hope for the engulfed base.

"I believe it was Mr. Dib, Mr. Poe." Beka replied, looking at him. "I detected him rushing away just as the fire started, at that time, Mr. Zim contacted mistress so she had to leave. I tried to save the base, but… it didn't work." Poe grunted at the report and shook his head,

"He sure has been a pain lately…" He sighed and looked at the base, "Well, ehm, I'm sure everything that could be done was.. The underground base itself shouldn't be that affected.. Just need a new house." Suddenly the ground shook, and sounds of explosions from below could be heard. It happened a few times, until more black smoke floated up into the sky.

"…there goes the base…" Beka sighed, antennae wilting slightly. "Mistress isn't going to be happy about her collection of human skin samples." Poe stumbled, regaining his balance, staring at the ground in disbelief and shaking his head, running his claws through his wig. The smoke reached them and he started to cough, eyes watering, being the only, well, organic being in the immediate vicinty.

"…methinks we should get to Mr. Zim's base to tell Mistress about her base." Poe felt the metal hand of Beka take his, and another metal sound - Beka grabbing Gir, and her rockets jolted to life and Poe was once again being dragged back into town. Amazing how no one seems to notice the house on fire, or the flying green child with a robot and green dog…

"Probably *HACK* a good… ACK!" Poe found himself airborn again, the last wisps of the smoke contrails from Gir's previous flight from that direction having just cleared. He squeezed his eyes shut and clung onto his wig, not that people were any more apt to notice an alien than they were a burning building or a robot or two.

[To be continued]