As I watched you walk away
I can't help thinking of what I didn't say.
This feeling I've tried so hard to beat down
because it contradicts with my façade.
I thought I had done it in the many years since I saw you last,
but then I turned around
and when I saw your face I knew it hadn't even begun to fade.
I see them follow you with their eyes
and deep inside, a tiny bit of my soul dies.
I hide it all behind a stoic face,
but every time you're around, my heart begins to race.
But no, I'm strong, I need no one else…
or at least that's what I've been telling myself.
But if that's true, and you mean nothing to me,
then how come when you're around I feel so free?
Why, I wonder, do my eyes find you,
whenever they wander through the room?
I hate the way I lose control every time I see you smile
the dam breaks, the ice melts, if only for a little while.
You never see it, I'm far too good at concealing it.
Because if you can see, than they can see and it's you that'll take the hit.
I have so many enemies, we're in a deadly dance
and if they know, they would take you, and I can't take that chance.
So watching you now asleep in the bed where you lay
I can't help but think of the things I couldn't say.
I wanted to protect you, to keep you from all harm
and now you're pale and lying there with a needle in your arm.
I tried to stop this from happening, but now I can only say,
that despite all my best effort, it happened anyway.
Because of me you were broken, lying on the floor,
and I can't take it any more.
After all the years of holding you at arm's length.
I reach out and touch your face.
I reach down and pull you close
realizing that I almost lost the thing I treasured most.
If pushing you away no longer works, I guess I'll just have to keep you by my side.
"Listen to me," I plead, "and take my words as true.
From this day forth till the day I die,
I'll never stop loving you."