It was the screams that were the worst.
Before their return from Midgard, Thor had never heard his brother's scream. But now. Every day was the same.
Loki would be dragged from the dungeon cell where he was being kept, along the damp, fetid corridors to the same room. Even as children, both Thor and Loki knew the purpose that room served.
Upon seeing that its door was his destination for the first time, Loki was yelling, cursing, kicking and screaming violently, desperate to wrench away from his escort so that he would not have to pass through that doorway. A silent plea sung from his eyes as Thor watched, forcing himself into inaction as Loki was hauled past.
"Do something!"
Thor did nothing.
The curses and threats began not moments after the door swung shut with a final thud, Loki falling back on his biting words and silver tongue to hide his true depth of his fear. They were for nought, however, as whatever punishment was to be served soon twisted his words out of comprehension, into nothing more than base screams and begs. Thor simply set his jaw and stared stoically at the floor.
A true king must understand the suffering he brings.
His father's words echoed in his head, barely audible as the torment continued, broken occasionally as Loki fought to keep his spiked wit alive between bouts of agony.
Thor lost track of time, descending into a world of his brother's cries as he stood outside that room. Enduring.
It seemed like days before the cries stopped and Thor could finally lift his head to the door as it creaked open. A second passed before the escort of four emerged, Loki clutched tightly between two. He was hunched, bleeding and barely able to carry his own weight as he walked, limping visibly. At the sight of Thor, he summoned a visible force of will to straighten as much as his beaten body would allow before throwing a dark, accusatory look his way.
This is your doing.
After just a night of recuperation, Loki was returned to that room.
The pattern continued. And worsened.
The defiance with which Loki fought his guard each morning waned. The desperate pleas to Thor withered and dissipated, whether due to acceptance or exhaustion, Thor couldn't be sure. Loki's head began to lie against his chest, eyes half-lidded, drifting closed every so often as the energy it took to keep them open became too much. He would stumble over his own feet, sometimes dropping to his knees and remaining there for what must have been blissful rest before being pulled roughly upright and shoved on. He was silent all the while, allowing himself to be guided bodily towards the door, no protestations or venomous insults, nothing of the lively spirit that Thor had become so used to see gleaming from his brother even as he faced his own defeat.
His exit was always worse.
Blood would coat his once pale skin, oozing from a thousand cuts never given more than a day to heal before being reopened. Blackening bruises swelled under his eyes and around his knuckles where he had been beaten and stamped upon, like nothing more than a petulant fly. He would stagger and wobble in the grip of those around him, knees often buckling. But he was not allowed to fall. To pause. To rest. He was marched on. Back to the dank pit in which he was being kept.
All the while, Thor watched.
A true king must understand the suffering he has brought.
Those words gave him no solace as he watched his brother stagger from that room for the fourteenth time, legs finally giving out completely as he collapsed to the ground, with no more sound as a soft, almost relieved sigh as he lay on the slick stone.
At the sight, Thor pushed forward, shoving the guards aside as he flung himself beside his brother's head and gently brushed some of his blood-matted hair from his face. A soft tingling brushed against Thor's fingers. This was Loki's inherent magic. The power that had so often protected him during their spars as children, since Thor's strength often got out of hand. From what he had seen, it took much energy to conjure. The only reason he would call upon it now, in such a condition, was if it was the only thing keeping him alive.
Distant, green eyes gazed out from under heavy eyelids, breathing broken and ragged. Thor guided Loki's face to meet his own, but it took several seconds for Loki to register another presence.
"You must get up brother."
There was a long silence as Loki gazed back, a small smile twitching into his distorted features before replying, voice hoarse and broken, "Not…this time."
Their peace was shattered in that second as the guards, simply took hold of Loki's arms and dragged. Loki would not have had the energy to return to his feet.
Thor remained on his knees, watching as his brother was taken from him.
"Father!" Thor called as he strode into the grand throne room, a far cry from the darkened, damp rooms and hallways he had just come from. Odin lifted his chin as Thor came to a stop before him, dropping to one knee and lowering his head, "Father, I come before you to beg you to soften your hand against Loki."
Odin was quiet for a long moment as he regarded Thor, considering the request, "That is something I cannot do."
Thor lifted his head and looking fiercely up at the All Father, "Forgive me, but you must. The strength with which you deal him blows is too much for him to bear."
Odin raised a single eyebrow, "Perhaps you underestimate your brother. He may not have your power of arm, but his spirit is nigh unbreakable."
"It is not the breaking of his spirit for which I worry!" Thor replied, loudly, returning to his feet, "As strong as his spirit may be, if you destroy the vessel that contains it what good is it to him?"
Odin narrowed his eye at Thor, lips set in a grim line, "Do you wish to anger me boy?"
Thor shuffled on the spot. The force in his father's voice made it clear just how close he was to overstepping the mark. He licked his lips, suddenly realising just how much he wished his brother were by his side. No one could wield words like he. Where their places switched, Thor was sure his suffering would have already ended.
"I simply wish to show you the truth," Thor started again, calmer, "Loki has not the body of you or I. I have seen him bowed to a point beyond breaking. The only reason he still lives is because his magic sustains him and those reserves are fast depleting. It will not be long before they are gone and when that happens –"
Odin cut him off as he slammed his fist against the arm of his throne, the sound reverberating around the room, "You think I do not know?" he yelled, before falling back tiredly against his chair, "You think I do not know as my son wilts and cracks under my own hand? You think this is what I want?"
"Then change it. End his punishment. Before it is too late!"
"I cannot do that, son. Loki committed unspeakable atrocities. He must pay the price," Odin heaved a great sigh and looked away, "That is my word and law, Thor Odinson."
A frown creased Thor's brow and his mouth dropped open.
This is your doing.
He glowered at his father, giving a wordless, animalistic bellow before stalking from the room. If his father would not spare his son, then Thor would not stand idly by. Loki may be redeemable in his father's eyes, but Thor knew otherwise. There had always been remorse in his brother's soul. Whether Odin allowed it or not, he was not going leave him to rot in the darkness.
Loki's cell was murky and squalid. Water dripped steadily in one corner, spreading a thin dampness through the whole stone box. No windows. No light. Only chains and fungus. Thor paused beyond the bars of the narrow door, trying to find his brother's outline in the shadows. But he was too far into the black to be able to define. There had been guards flanking its door, but simply the strong determined manner in which Thor had almost charged down the corridor had ensured they were moved swiftly on.
Thor unlocked the door. Torch light from the narrow corridor flooded in, partially illuminating the room. Enough for Thor to find Loki.
He was slumped against the far wall, arms hanging over his head, head lolling limply to one side. Shivers racked his body from the sharp chill that hung in the air. His once neat hair was dishevelled and thick with dry blood. It was only now that he forced himself to look properly that Thor saw that both of his little fingers were missing, nothing but scabbed stumps in their place.
Thor hesitated again, taking a shaky breath.
"Brother," he whispered, falling to his knees before the limp body and reaching forward to cup Loki's head in his hands, lifting it look upon his brother's closed eyes, "Brother I am so sorry."
At the touch, Loki's eyelids twitched and cracked open, gazing up at Thor with a glazed, unseeing expression. Silent save only for the soft hiss of his laboured breaths.
Thor waited a second longer for a response he didn't get before prising open the bonds of his brother's torn and red wrists. Without the chains to keep him upright, Loki began to fall sideways until Thor slipped a strong arm under his shoulder.
"This was my doing," Thor whispered to himself, sweeping his eyes over Loki before sliding his other arm under his brother's legs and standing, clutching his brother protectively against his chest.
Loki's eyes had opened slightly at the movement, "Is this…to be the end?" he asked almost faintly to the air.
Thor couldn't bring himself to look down, "No."
In silence, Thor strode through the palace, not caring about the shocked looks, the cursing shouts, the rain of torment that came as he carried his brother through the corridors. If they sought to make him regret his actions, they would fail. All it did was cause him to hug the frail body in his arms closer to his chest.
He only stopped once he had found himself in his own chambers. Grand, open, airy, light. Everything that Loki had not had since his return. Slowly, Thor crossed to the bed and gently lowered his brother onto its soft blankets and sat beside him, stroking the dark, clotted hair from his broken face.
"My brother.
Loki cracked his eyes open once more to regard Thor, "Why…do you still call me that?"
Thor frowned, one of the tears that had threatened since he took his brother from his cell broke loose and rolled down his cheek, "Because that is what you are."
Loki attempted a frown that contorted into a weak, pained grimace, "After all-" he tripped over a word and closed his eyes, as though he no longer had the energy to keep them open, "After all I did…to you?"
Thor nodded and placed a gently hand on Loki's cheek, "Yes. You have always been, and will always be, my only brother."
Thor thought he saw a weak smile flicker on his features, but the days of constant torture made it hard to tell, "Can…you forgive…me?"
"Of course," Thor replied, nodding as a second tear fell over his skin.
A moment's silence passed, broken only by the rasping wheeze as Loki fought for breath. It hitched suddenly and cut off, making Thor shake his head and lean closer, watching desperately until Loki found air.
"Loki," Thor begged, "Please. You are stronger than this."
"No," came the soft words of a man too weak to do any more, "I am the shadow that I always deserved to be."
Thor shook his head as tears flowed freely, not trusting himself to speak else his emotions force volume into his words and drive his brother further from him.
Loki's breath hitched again and he forced himself to look up at Thor one last time, "I know now that you are everything I ever wished…to become," air caught in his throat but he fought through it for a final time, "Brother."
The whispered word ghosted from Loki's lips, taking all else with it as his chest fell and the last glimpses of life were extinguished from his eyes.
Thor's mouth dropped open and he stared disbelieving at his brother's lifeless body, "No," he pleaded, gently shaking his shoulder in some last desperate hope before dragging Loki against his chest and burying his face into his still warm neck, uttering frantic pleas for his return.
They were unanswered.
He remained there for a time unknown before there were no more tears that could be shed. Reluctantly, Thor his brother back onto the bed, regarding him through red, glistening eyes. With all the care he could manage, Thor brushed Loki's eyes closed, eased back the strands of thick raven hair over his head and folded his hands across his unmoving chest before doing his best to remove the dried blood encrusted onto his face.
It took a while of gentle wiping to reveal the pale creaminess underneath, stealing small patches from the stormy bruises that covered most of his skin.
"This is my doing," he told his unhearing brother, lips quivering, vision blurred, giving Loki almost a halo of reflected, golden light where he lay.
"I pray you find a new realm, where you can be the sun. Loki, Prince of Asgard."