A/N Not the most original of stories but hopefully I can bring something new to it. Also I don't think this has been done for St Berry before (although I may be wrong). This is how the Rolling in the Deep scene in Prom Queen would have gone if Rachel was hiding something pretty major from Jesse. Will be a multi chapter story.
I really would like to know what you think so please r and r.
She hears his voice cut in to her song and is almost rendered completely speechless. He is absolutely the last person she ever expected to see. She joins back in for the chorus, seamlessly harmonizing her voice with his. She finds it extremely ironic that their voices still meld with one another perfectly. She is Rachel Berry and she never shies away from a performance. Also, she needs him to think that nothing has changed since he last saw her. And then she needs him to leave as swiftly as possible and never come back.
He holds out his hand to her during the song and she scoffs internally, like she would ever make it that easy. She thinks he knows this as he spins away from her, she doesn't think he has changed at all. The song finishes and all that can be heard is their laboured breathing. She needs to break this silence before it gets even more intense and he starts getting ideas.
"Jesse." Shoot, she was hoping for something slightly more intelligent than that, her increasing inner-mental breakdown is obviously manifesting itself by cutting off all communication between her mouth and brain. This does not bode well for her.
"Rachel. It's good to see you." If only she could say the same. What she actually feels upon seeing him is gut wrenching pain and panic that she is barely keeping under control. She really really needs him to leave now.
What actually comes out of her mouth is: "What are you doing here?"
She can't believe she asked him a question. That would imply that she actually wants to talk to him. She doesn't, with her lack of brain filter she might say something that will really drop her in it and that will open a whole world of pain that she is completely unequipped to deal with. He cannot find out what she is hiding. As it is she knows that when he eventually does leave she will go back to her pathetic apartment and cry until she can't breathe.
"Can we talk?" She shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly and they move to the seats in the auditorium. Indifference, she has decided, is the key to getting him to leave her alone and not dig any deeper. She will be cool and calm and like the old Rachel Berry whose only focus was being a star. She thinks of it like an acting exercise, all be it an extremely important one. Surely he will go back to UCLA soon, she can keep it up until then.
The bottom drops out of her stomach when he tells her he has flunked out and will be moving back here. She is aware that he is still talking, she is aware that she is even replying to him but she has absolutely no idea what she is saying. She doesn't even have the space in her brain to care if she is embarrassing herself. The word "No" is currently on a constant loop of ever increasing hysteria in her head.
At the words, "What are you doing for Prom?" her head snaps up. Right new plan; be as horrible to him as possible.
Her eyes shutter and she fills her voice with as much contempt as she can muster. "I'm not going. I have plans."
He looks shocked but clearly her attempt at disdain has failed as he states with a smirk, "You, not going to Prom? Who are you and what have you done with Rachel Berry?"
Abort the plan, abort the plan, she thinks. New, new plan: get out of there as fast as you can and make sure he doesn't follow you.
Unfortunately for her he is between her and the door and he catches her arm as she tries to bolt past him. He looks down on her with so much concern she feels the barely heeled scars on her heart wrench open once again. She can't do this; it is absolute torture being this close to both the reason for and the possible solution to all her problems. She has had the absolute year from hell and him being here right now is just the icing on the cake. Why can't she catch a break?
"Rachel, what is going on?" He is doing quite a good job of looking worried about her. If she didn't know him to be completely incapable of human emotion she would probably be fooled right now. She won't make the same mistake twice. Believing his bull shit is what got her into this situation in the first place. If there is one thing she is sure about it is that that definitely will not be happening again.
"Nothing is going on Jesse, I just really don't have the time to talk to you. I have no idea what your agenda was in coming here today but I have absolutely no feelings towards you and do not wish to engage in whatever bullshit you have come to spew in an attempt to get me back. Now let go of my arm, I have somewhere to be." She hopes he doesn't notice that her entire body is shaking.
He releases her and she instantly misses the skin to skin contact. She walks away slowly, simultaneously congratulating herself on sticking to her new new plan and willing herself to not look back at him. She is so completely and utterly screwed.
He thinks something is definitely off with her. Her anger he expected but he some of the emotions he saw flit across really don't make sense. When he told her he was staying in Ohio she looked almost…. Broken. Admittedly it's not his proudest moment but he didn't expect her reaction to be quite as violent.
He knew he would have to work pretty damn hard to get back into her good graces but he has no idea what just happened. When they sang together their connection was as strong as ever. As soon as they stopped seeing she became completely unreadable. Aside from that one moment he had no idea what she was thinking.
This in itself was strange, she had always worn her emotions pretty close to the surface and he was better than most at reading them. The only reason he let her go is that he was in complete shock at the fact that she actually swore at him. Rachel Berry never swore. He had seen her dislocate her shoulder in a ballet practise without uttering so much as a "darn."
Her physical appearance had changed as well. He had always known her to be perfectly groomed and put together, now her hair and skin seemed dull and her eyes had a tired and worn look about them. He hated to say it but she looked haggard.
He knows she is probably the most dramatic person he has ever met, but this is bit much even for her. This can't just be a reaction to him leaving. Something must have happened and it must have been something major. It had him seriously worried about her. She was not the Rachel Berry he had left and from her reactions to him it was at least partly his fault. He may have flunked out of college but he was smart enough to know this.
He got out of his seat with a new sense of purpose, he was going to get to the bottom of what was wrong with Rachel Berry. She may have blown him of but he was determined. They had a connection that he had never felt with anyone before and God knows he had tried, he had felt more singing with her today than he had during countless sexual encounters with vacuous college girls. Rachel Berry was going to let him back in whether she liked it or not.
She bolted from the auditorium and managed to make it all the way to her car before the afore-mentioned breakdown hit her like a freight train. In her last lucid moment she thinks she is probably having a panic attack. Her eyes are burning and she knows her throat is being ripped ragged by the force of her sobs. Her chest is tight and oh god she can't breathe and she feels dizzy and if she doesn't stop this right now she is going to black-out.
"Rache?"
She feels strong arms grasp her shoulders and she is commanded in a firm voice to, "Calm down. Focus on my breathing and breathe with me."
She obeys the voice. As she comes back to herself she feels a hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. She looks up and sees that it is Noah. Wryly, she thinks, who else would it be?
"Berry what the fuck is wrong with you? You almost knocked me on my ass you were running out of here so fast!"
"He's back Noah, Jesse is back and we sang together and it was perfect and then he went and ruined it by talking to me with his stupid face that isn't really stupid it's actually rather beautiful if you can use that word to describe a member of the male species and it looks like he is going to be here for the foreseeable future and I can't deal with this because he absolutely cannot find out." She can feel herself beginning to hyperventilate again.
Noah looks bemused. Her rants tend to have that affect on people. Until what she has just said sinks in. Then he looks furious. He takes in that she is on the verge of another panic attack. Then he looks worried. She briefly wonders if that is what she looked like to Jesse earlier.
"OK Berry we are going to sort this out. Firstly breathe. I'm not taking you to the hospital. Two, where the fuck is that little son of a bitch? I am gon' beat his ass so badly…"
"NO!" Her chest tightens even more at the thought. "You can't. Noah he doesn't know and I need to keep it that way. You do not have the self control to keep what you know quiet." He looks almost hurt. "Don't look at me like that you know it's true."
"What are you going to do?" The change in subject is a abrupt and she almost can't take the pity in his eyes.
"I am going to be so completely horrible to him that he runs back to Carmel, never to step foot in Lima again" As she says it she can see the holes in her new new plan, Jesse was always determined and a few knock backs didn't set him back very long. If she recalls that is exactly what got her in this situation in the first place; his determination and her stupidity.
From the look on his face she can see he is not exactly sold on her new new plan either. She dismisses him before he can voice his objections.
"Thank you for coming to my aid Noah. I know I'm probably the most unpopular person in the entire school now so this will probably cost you and I appreciate that."
He nods his head and it sends a pang right to her heart when he doesn't even try to refute what she has just said.
"No problem Berry. Us Jews gotta' stick together."
She nods calmly as she gets into her car. Her hands are still shaking as she turns the ignition. The sad thing is this doesn't even make the top five of her worst days ever, top ten definitely, but not top five. All of her worst days have one thing in common: they were all caused by Jesse St James. She still can't bring herself to wish she had never met him.
Her thoughts are still in complete turmoil as she pulls up at her destination. She walks to the door in a complete trance and stays that way until she sees him. Mrs Walker hands him over to her and she feels a sense of calm wash over her. The panic she has been feeling slips away completely as the babysitter places him in her arms.
"Hello my darling boy. Have you missed mummy?"
He gurgles back at her and it is honestly the most beautiful noise she has ever heard, he smiles up at her and her heart clenches. He is most definitely his fathers son.
So what did you guys think? I have the rest of the story planned out and it's looking to be about 5 chapters. Let me know if you want to read more.