Shoopufs and Lightning:A Tale ofRandom Stupidity.

By BloodyChaosDragonKnight. (BloodyChaos)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my muses. And this little sparkly thing that no one knows what it does.

A/N: Dedicated to MakoAnima for being my 99th reviewer on CII. She requested a FFX fanfic with Braska, Auron and Jecht. This is for you MakoAnima! Hope you like it! It's a highly amusing version of what might've happened while the grup was traveling from the thunder plains to moonflow...Braska's pilgrimage went backwards, ya know.

Warnings: Just a little bit of language, drunken Jecht, shoopuf assault and a very smug Auron. Spoilers for the Jecht spheres, sort of.

Crossing the thunder plains was certainly...interesting, or at least it was interesting from Braska's point of view. Auron thought it was amusing and Jecht found it painful...Very painful. It seemed that every single bit of lightning decided to target his ass today and fry him and since Jecht was drunk off his ass, his reflexes weren't fast enough to dodge it.

"Hey can we take a break or something? I'm smoking here." Jecht complains, rubbing his butt and trying to get his hair to stop standing on end. Auron gives him that look that says 'just because you can't handle a little bit of lightning doesn't mean we can take a break' whille Braska contemplates.

"Why don't you record a sphere for Tidus?" Braska asks, looking thoughtful. Auron blinks and looks at his summoner in confusion. Braska winks at him, encouraging him to play along. "Show him how well you can dodge lightning."

Jecht blinks slowly, an idea running through his head...Of course the fact that he couldn't dodge lightning didn't even occur to him, nor did it occur to him that the reason he wanted to stop in the first place was so he'd stop getting hit by lightning. Noo not Jecht, he'd never get hit by lightning he was to fast for it, or at least that was what the alcohol was telling him anyways.

"Yeah...That's sounds like a plan! Auron get the sphere recorder." Auron and Braska share an amused look as Jecht stands up and dusts himself off. Getting hit by lightning again in the process, which makes him swear...loudly. Auron sighs and rolls his eyes skyward, praying to Yevon that Jecht wasn't going to be like this the rest of the journey.

So Auron records the sphere for Tidus to see when he comes to Spira, which mostly consists of Jecht getting hit by lightning and the usually stoic Auron laughing his ass off at him. Braska of course was much more polite and contained his laughter to quiet snickering which Jecht couldn't hear over the thunder.

The rest of the walk through the Thunder Plains was uneventful, aside from Jecht getting hit by lightning every five minutes but you'd be suprised how quickly one could get used to that. Really really suprised...So Auron spent most of the long walk laughing at Jecht, Braska cast a curaga spell on Jecht every twenty bolts or so, and Jecht, well we all know what Jecht was doing, hallucinating and getting hit by lightning. And so they got to Guadosalam and Jecht harrassed people.

"Man are these people weird looking. Hey Auron, what are they called again? Guano?" Jecht asks looking around with wide eyes, ignoring the outraged stares from various guado sent in his direction. if he was anyone but a summoner's guardian you can bet he would've been jumped. Auron's eye twitches as he glares at the annoying drunken blitzball player.

"Guado." Auron says with a tone of finality, that hints that if Jecht so much as mispronounces the name again Auron's going to take him outside and beat him senseless. Braska watches his guardians with a sigh, wondering how in the hell they were going to make it through this without them Auron killing Jecht or Jecht falling off something and becoming seriously injured.

"Hey! Quit staring at me you weirdo!" Jecht yells at a Guado male who had randomly appeared and was now glaring at Jecht, hey wasn't even looking at the blitzball player in the first place. Auron rolls his eyes skyward again, praying for patience as he grabs Jecht by the scruff of the neck and starts dragging him towards the entrance, Braska reluctantly follows, bowing apologetically to the harrassed Guados...

"Are we there yet?" Jecht demands having been thrown over Auron's shoulder in an attempt to keep him from harrassing the Guado they passed on the road...It wasn't working very well, but at least Auron got some satisfaction from smacking the blitzball player whenever he did try to start something.

"We're almost there..." Braska says, trying to ignore the twitching of Auron's eye which hadn't stopped since Jecht mispronounced 'Guado' and replaced it with Bat...well you get the idea. Jecht sighs laying his head against Auron's back. Auron's other eye starts twitching and braska starts wondering if it was because Auron was trying to supress homicidal urges...

"If I set you down do you promise not to annoy anyone besides fiends?" Auron asks in complete monotone despite the twitching of his eyes. Jecht thinks about it for a second and then forgets what he wa sthinking about and settles for a nod. They finally reach the Shoopuf area without Jecht harassing anyone else and suprisingly fiend free. Auron's eyes had stopped twitching, much to Braska's relief and Jecht was now extremely drunk though...having stole Auron's sake when he wasn't looking.

"Hey look! A FIEND!" Jecht yells unsheathing his sword and waving it towards the Shoopuf Braska and Auron look at each other and sweatdrop, wondering what in the hell he's talking about as Jecht charges the humongous aquatic beast and slashes it's leg. Luckily for the shoopuf, but not so luckily for Jecht the Hypello riding it gets startled and drops it's cargo, a huge rock on Jecht's head...

Well, we all know the story from there, Braska gave them all the money he had in apology, Jecht swore to never drink anything alcoholic ever again and Auron finally got a much needed rest from Jecht's harrassment of random people on the road, but only til the shoopuf ride ended. Because Jecht harrassed people on a daily basis not just because he was drunk, which both Auron and Braska had assumed.

The End...

BloodyChaos: "Well what do you think?"

Zach: "I leave you alone for five minutes and you make a mockery of Jecht...not that it's that hard to do, but I thought you were writing something serious for once."

BloodyChaos: "Yeah I was working on one of my other stories...Okies readers please review and tell me what you think...I could be persuaded to continue...or at least write another FFX story."

Zach: "Lazy."

BloodyChaos: "Get back in my wallet you silly muse."