Author's note: only my second Nick/Greg story ever. Reviews are always welcomed and answered. I apologize for any mistakes, grammatical errors (since I'm pretty sure Never ever is one of them, lol). I still don't have a beta so any offers are more than welcome.
Disclaimer: yeah…clearly don't own them….
This is also posted at WMTDB (What Makes the Desert Beautiful)
- scene change
It's nights like these when he misses it the most. Off of his living room, there is a small balcony and the plants that have decided to move in, have left him just enough room to lie back and look at the stars, or what stars you can see within the city limit. Never ever did he think that he'd move to a place where all he would be able to see where the brightest of stars and a murky purple sky that's full of pollutants and other artificial junk. He lets a small sigh as he feels the heat the concrete has retained during the day seep through his clothes and into his back. Never ever did he think he would feel this way, so lost and lonely. Never ever did he think this because he was not that kind of person. He was someone who flirted and attracted others with his personality and his charm. He was someone that always tried to find the good in situations and make light of things by joking. Never ever did he think that he'd want to curl up in someone's arms instead of going out to the latest clubs and grinding up against someone completely anonymous.
Never ever did he think that he wanted to be sheltered by someone's strength, someone's compassion. Never ever did he think that he wanted someone to know him from inside out, from the very depths of his soul to the tips of his toes. He wanted to be held tightly at night with the promise that that someone would be there in the morning with a warm, lazy smile that would be just meant for him. Never ever did he think that he would want to feel loved and needed and just full…full of life itself. And never ever did he think more about who he wanted that someone to be, who he desired to get his inner strength from, who's warmth and love he wanted to bask in instead of lying back on the warm concrete, looking at the muted stars. Never ever did he think that he would come to this decision. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone.
It's nights like these, when he's lying in bed, covers thrown off against the Las Vegas heat and staring at the lights from the city surrounding him through a crack in his curtains, that he misses it the most. He misses the fact that there's no one radiating love and heat from next to him and no one trying to steal the covers even though it's way too hot for them anyways. Never ever did he think that this would be his path in life. Never ever did he think for one moment that he, the all-American guy from Texas, would be longing for something that went against most people's values. Never ever did he think that he, a dependable, reliable all around good guy, would make such a stupid mistake like the one he had made. Never ever did he think he could feel this lost, this alone. Never ever did he think he would want someone to know him from top to bottom, inside and out and treasure every little thing that made him who he was, good or bad. Never ever did he feel the need to protect someone that much, to cuddle them, providing a human shield and protecting them from the world. Never ever did he think that it would ever come to that.
Never ever did he think that he would want to draw on someone's inner strength like that or share moments of sheer love and joy. Never ever had he wanted to hold someone tightly at night with the promise that they would be there in the morning with the sleepy murmurs of how he was too cheerful. Never ever would he imagine that he would treasure those sleepy murmurs and never ever would he have thought that gentle teasing could open those wonderful rich brown eyes in the morning. Never ever would he have thought that his heart would speed up as he saw emotions in those eyes that were only meant for him and him alone.
Never ever could he have thought that he would have thrown it away. Worst of all, never ever would he be able to get it back now.
Getting up, he went over and yanked the curtain shut, shutting out the lights and the muted natural ones that this someone had always loved. He got back into bed and pulled the covers over him, hoping that that warmth would trick him into falling asleep without the warmth he really wanted.
Never ever did he think in a million years that his phone would ever ring again and never ever did he think that he would hear that tone of voice that broke his heart into a thousand pieces before re-building it again just as quickly as it had broken it.
From somewhere on his nightstand, his cell phone rang.
END