…And All That Could Have Been
Book One: Fractures
Alright, here come the obligatory warnings and disclaimers. This Fan Fiction is based on the wonderful world of Doctor Who and Torchwood. Yes, the Doctor makes a couple of small appearances but the overlying theme is Jack and Ianto. Yes, this happens after Ianto died… yes, that makes this AU… no… we didn't forget that Ianto died. I do not own Doctor Who, or Tochwood, because if I did, I wouldn't have to write fanfictions, I would be writing real shows. Anyway, point being, there is gayness in this story… Jack Harkness… need I say more? So if you don't like it, see ya latter bye.
Lastly, I hope you enjoy!
It is likely that this is going to be one of a string of stories based on this write up of these characters… so I hope you like them.
Chapter Note: Sorry, there isn't much Ianto in this chapter, but he I didn't forget him, promise!
Chapter One:
Returning Home
The rubble fell from the roof, almost as if it were a rain, a rain of debris that should have been stopped over a year ago. They built over it, but they never filled in the hub below it. The street had been rebuilt, the monument had been rebuilt, the world had moved on and yet here he was, a year later, half a galaxy later, and he couldn't, he just couldn't. Blue eyes scanned upward towards the ceiling, giving a soft cough as some of the dust fell into his face.
Jack was dirty, from spending the last two days down here, digging through the rubble. He had been back here many times, to gather things that people shouldn't find, but the place was nearly rubble, there was no way of knowing if he had gotten it all. This time though, he didn't plan on leaving. He couldn't. He was one of those things that shouldn't be left in the hands of people. If he blew what remained of the rift reader, he could probably bury himself so deep in this place that he would never be found, and if he was, he could find another way to end this. Forever was becoming too impossible to him, the smiles that were lost, and the lives that slipped through his fingers like sand. In the end, he had no one that needed him to remain, in the end this was what the combined years of his life had become, sitting alone in the ruins of the hub.
A deep breath was taken through his nose and released through his mouth. He was afraid. He remembered what happened the last time he blew up, but he probably would have stayed dead in the rubble, or buried alive, if people hadn't come digging and looking for him. But the pain was what got him the worst of all, not just the pain of coming back, but the pain when it happened. He flipped open the wrist strap and pressed a couple of buttons, about to detonate, when the sudden sound rushed his ears.
The sound of metal on metal. The sound of breaks complaining under the weight of a lorry that didn't want to stop. And while it would grate the nerves and the ears of most people, it was usually the most beautiful sound Jack had ever heard. But not right now, right now it just broke his heart all the more. Why had he come? Did he come to stop Jack from doing this? And if so, why? Listless and empty blue eyes turned toward where the sound was echoing as the form began to appear… the TARDIS. The blue police phone box that was bigger on the inside and could travel to the farthest reaches of time and space, but at this point, even she couldn't travel far enough for him.
A discouraging sounding thump came from her and she started to disappear again. Jack's heart dropped for a moment before the sound of metal screeching shifted to another location, a few feet away.
Jack still remained where he was, once more debating pressing the button, but he wouldn't do that, not now, not while the TARDIS was trying to land, it seemed she didn't much care for the uneven ground, as she tried to land a second time, the same thump came from her and she once more started to disappear.
Third time however was a charm, and Jack watched as the four foot by four foot box found a place where a shelf had fallen and left a flat surface for the TARDIS to finally land on that was even enough for her to balance. And so this time when the thump came, it was not followed with the vanishing of the TARDIS, but rather announced that she had completely materialized.
"Good to hear your voice, old girl." Jack whispered softly, of course, he could have been accused of having a bit of an affair with the TARDIS back in the days; he always talked to her, much the way the Doctor did, used to drive Rose crazy. He leaned back against the pillar he was sitting in front of and let his hand close the wrist strap, the small bomb that was in his coat would, for now, go undetonated. He would smile, and nod, and play happy until the Doctor left.
The door opened and a head would pop out, Jack narrowed his eyes upon the figure. A companion maybe? He had never known the Doctor to only take a male companion… there was always a girl attached to the companions of the male persuasion with the Doctor. When the man stepped out further Jack blinked at his appearance. Suit pants, tweed jacket, pale pinkish button down, suspenders (which he did like), and a bowtie? Where did the Doctor find this fashion crisis? He glanced over him, crazy hair, not bad looking, and thin, tall, a little geeky looking.
"Captain." The man said sending Jack's eyes flashing back to him.
"Doctor?" Jack asked, he didn't sound as surprised as he was, but then again, Jack hadn't really felt much lately, he was just numb. Slowly he found himself rising, dusting off the shoulders of his coat as he walked over and looked over the man again. "What is with the fashion crisis?"
"What's wrong with my clothes?" The Doctor asked as if he were slightly irritated. Obviously Jack was not the first one to insult the attire.
"The bowtie? Really?" Jack asked.
"Bowties are cool." The Doctor responded relatively quickly. Clearly an answer he had given before. Jack laughed shaking his head. "Besides, you've got room to talk."
The Doctor reached out and tugged slightly on the lapel of the coat before dusting off the breast of it for him. For a moment he thought he saw something of pity, or sadness in the Doctor's eyes. But that look was one he often got from the Doctor. A look that said he was sorry for what Jack had become and what Jack would someday have to endure. A look that said he didn't know what to say to him.
However, as always that look was gone as quick as it had come on and the Doctor was off and moving about. Looking at the disaster area as if he had never seen it before, Jack supposed he hadn't. "What happened to you?" Jack asked. Of course, he wanted to know how he had been regenerated, but his thought was cut off when a voice came from inside of the TARDIS.
"Are we here? I thought you were taking me home?" Jack's heart dropped; he knew that voice. His eyes flashed over at the Doctor as if he were going to either run away, or stab him. The voice belonged to the one he had not yet managed to let go of. Ianto Jones. Jack stepped back away from the door and looked once more to the Doctor.
"That's right, that's why I am here. Sorry." The Doctor said, turning and heading back towards the TARDIS, Jack watched as he reached into the box and grabbed someone and pulled them out. Now face to face with the voice he heard inside he froze dead in his tracks seeing Ianto standing there, he was confused that much was clear. "Ianto Jones!" The doctor said as if he were rather proud of himself.
Jack had taken a step forward, but there was something wrong, as Ianto was pulled out of the TARDIS he was dressed as he had been when they first met, no suit, jeans, tee-shirt, jacket, handsome as ever, of course Jack always had a thing for the suit. It took a moment for Jack to realize what was wrong, Ianto wasn't playing coy, or unsure about if this was real… he was looking at Jack as if he didn't know him. The Doctor chimed up as if uncomfortable with the silence "Welcome home, this is Jack, you will remember him eventually."
"Eventually? What's wrong with him? Where did you get him?" Jack's voice rose slightly, for the moment Ianto was ignored because he couldn't force himself to believe or hope that Ianto was somehow still alive. "He died Doctor. He died in my arms. What game are you playing at?"
The Doctor looked at Jack rather incredulously as if he had been called all sorts of names (or as if he had been told being Almost The Doctor, was any good).
"I can take him to an earlier time if you'd like." He said with a strict sound to his voice that told Jack that he was displeased with him. Of course, if you go out of your way to bring your friends lover back to him and then get accused of playing games with him, you might be a bit irritated as well. "But then you are going to have to put him in cryo because he already exists, and then when you blow up you are going to kill him anyway."
Jack seemed to debate the Doctor for a few moments, watching him closely before finally his eyes softened and he took a breath.
"You're right." He agreed.
"Of course I am. I'm brilliant." The Doctor said before turning and heading back towards the TARDIS. Jack blinked as the other started towards the TARDIS, he wasn't really planning on dropping this bomb on him and then disappearing was he?
"Wait, hold it, you can't just drop this on me and then swan off!" Jack growled following after him, he would grab the other's arm and pull him back around, an odd move for Jack, one that left the Doctor glaring at him, as Jack and he were about the same height. There was a moment of standoff before the Doctor was the first to speak.
"I found him on Zeta 5, the most I can figure is that prolonged exposure to the rift somehow drew his energy away at the moment of death… but I am not sure how it happened exactly. I got a message for help when the Sontarians attacked Zeta 5, and someone told me about him, he was in the hospital. That was it. I recognized him and brought him back." The Doctor explained, but it was tense; the pair of them were tense.
"I thought you said he was a friend, because you really don't act like friends." A female voice came from the TARDIS as a pretty little red head waltzed out as if she owned the place, glancing around the rubble with a rather unimpressed look. "He promises me a super nova over the Elysium Belt, and what do I get a cave under Cardiff."
"And who are you?" Jack asked as he turned away from the Doctor and walked over, extending his hand to her. "Captain Jack Harkness."
"Amy Pond." The girl answered giving him the once over. "Like the coat."
"Amy is married." The Doctor said, his own hand taking Jack and Amy by the wrist and pulling their hands apart.
"I was just saying hello." Jack protested.
"I don't mind." Amy responded.
The Doctor rolled his eyes and started off again towards the TARDIS before stopping and glancing over at the rift manipulator, or what was left of it, pulling out the sonic screwdriver he would walk over and start taking readings. "That's not good, not good at all." The Doctor started babbling.
"What's not good?" Jack asked, looking over at it.
"Not stable, something's knocked it loose, probably whatever it was did this." The Doctor said gesturing to the destruction of the hub around them. Jack glanced around, that was right, the Doctor didn't know that what caused this was Jack blowing up, because ultimately the Doctor had not been here for the 456, and Jack often wondered why that was.
"Bomb." Was all Jack said.
"Not just, it would have taken a temporal bomb to do this, even UNIT doesn't have one of those, short of shoving a bomb in…. oh…" The Doctor said looking over at Jack and blinking.
"Oh what?" Amy pressed.
"They put the bomb in you." The Doctor finished, again that flash of sadness came across his eyes. Jack didn't answer. But it made since, the bomb inside blew all of his life energy outward… so he in effect became a temporal bomb… it was brilliant, but still.
"Yeah." Jack said, the moments of clear understanding of the extent of Jack's abilities between he and the Doctor were often slightly tense. Amy stood, looking between the pair very confused.
"If they put a bomb in him…."
"Can't die." The Doctor said to her passively, as if that were something you heard normally every day… people that can't die.
"At all?" Amy asked. The Doctor gave her a slight glare as if to say this was not the time. Jack on the other hand just shrugged it off, that was the typical response when people found out about him after all. He glanced over at Ianto, just to make sure he had not gotten into trouble, finding him wandering a little he would look back to the Doctor.
"So it's unstable, can we fix it? The manipulator is gone, but the rift reader is still functioning." Jack said, not sure of course if that would be any help at all.
"I can use the TARDIS to fix it, well patch it more like… more like… loosely stitch it… yes." The doctor said as he walked over taking more readings with the sonic screwdriver before looking at the results.
"Hey, direct line to the system." Jack said tossing his wrist strap to him, very few would ever get to see that thing up close let alone handle it. The doctor smiled brightly opening it and pushing the sonic into it, using it as an interface.
"Oh! He has a vortex manipulator like River!" Amy said coming over and looking over the Doctor's shoulder. "Wait, why does he have a vortex manipulator?"
"Who is River?" Jack asked.
"That's the million dollar question isn't it?" The doctor responded as he continued to fiddle with the wrist strap and the manipulator.
"She can't be a time agent… they are all gone, how did she get one?" Jack asked.
"I sometimes find it is better not to ask." The doctor said looking at Jack for a moment, as if debating that logic before nodding and going back to his work. Jack too seemed to think on that, it was not like the Doctor not to ask about something, in fact, it was almost painfully unlike him… but he bit his tongue on that for now. His mind was only half on the doctor and half on the amnesia ridden Ianto that was wandering around.
The doctor continued tinkering with his work, not bothering with much talk. Jack and Amy stood by watching as he took some more reading and then flipped the wrist strap closed. "Now just give it a little time to cook, and she should be good to go." He said, holding onto the strap for now in case he needed it.
"Don't wander too far Ianto, this place isn't stable." Jack said, looking back at the other as he wandered around, watching him a few moments longer, Ianto turned and nodded to him, but kept wandering nonetheless, maybe looking for a way out of this cave like structure that looked as if it were going to collapse on them at any moment. "Doctor, where were you? For the 456, you have been here for the most obscure things, but something like that happens and you are nowhere to be found?"
The question almost seemed to come out of left field, causing the Doctor to blink at him, that blink soon turning to a scowl. "There are a great many other planets in the universe other then earth. I cannot be on all of them at once, and while I have a personal affection for the earth, every now and then she needs to handle things on her own. I can't always save it." His tone was sharper then Jack was accustomed too, which caused him to step back a pace and regard him. His jaw setting and arms crossing in that way that they often did when he was upset about something.
"Um… friends remember?" Amy said again, clearing her throat at the sudden tension between the pair of them. "Um, what's a 456?"
"Don't you remember? The government planning to give up 10% of the world's children?" Jack asked looked at her.
"Nope." Amy said looking at him like he was crazy, the doctor didn't say anything. He only turned his attention back to his work when Jack turned his attention towards Amy, he knew that Jack was angry with him, but he also knew that Jack would get over it to do what had to be done. Jack turned his attention away from Amy, still a little too irritated to get into rhetoric about the 456, particularly what he had to do for his part in it.
The doctor took out the strap again to make a few more readings, pushing the sonic into it a line of glowing symbols appeared on a projected screen from it. Jack watched the numbers and symbols, but even he couldn't keep up completely with the readings at the rate that the Doctor was. As abruptly as the symbols had started they stopped as the Doctor snapped the strap closed, terminating the transmission entirely before tucking the sonic screwdriver back into his pocket.
"There. That should keep it quiet until someone else goes blundering into the crack. I can't be here to stop it up every time something happens." Shifting to Jack, the strap was offered back out to him before facing him seriously. "It's because they don't need me here." Seeing as Jack had never asked the question, never probed deeper into the Doctor's prior statement about not being here. "They've got you. And the one time since you took up a place here that you lot really needed me, you just used the phone."
Granted, it had been a bit more complicated than just picking up the phone and dialing, rather it involved entire dimensions being crossed to make it happen, but it had happened and earth was put back where it was supposed to be, but the point was the same, the Doctor had come when he was truly needed.
"Besides there is always some version of me floating around out there somewhere you can get a hold of at the very least. I am never that far away."
Jack didn't seem satisfied with that answer, but didn't argue, of course he didn't think the world revolved completely around him, but after what he had to do, the idea that someone might have been able to stop it, to stop Ianto from being… well.. killed… sort of. Or stop Steven from having to die, it was overwhelming to him, because the wounds, while healing, were still raw.
"Do you still have the phone that Martha gave you? The one we used to call you when the Dalek stole the planet?" Jack asked as he took the wrist strap and buckled it back onto his arm. Jack just couldn't stay mad at the crazy bastard though, he understood the way the Doctor worked, what he didn't like was the Doctor thinking that he wasn't needed here.
"There has always been a phone in the TARDIS." The doctor said when he asked about the phone, of course it didn't help that Jack hadn't known the number. It wasn't like they left each other on `here's my phone number` terms when the Doctor abandoned him.
"It's true, Winston Churchill calls him on it, and Marilyn Monroe… that one time." Amy piped up, her exuberance made him chuckle, he couldn't help it, she was still young and so excited, it was little wonder why the Doctor kept her around. It also didn't pass Jack's attention that the Doctor blushed some, shifting his weight from foot to foot a little awkwardly, hand coming into the hair at the back of his neck.
"She fancied me." The doctor said bashfully. "I am not always good at answering my phone though, so there are other ways of getting in touch with me if you need t—"
"The Psychic Paper - how does River do that by the way?" Amy asked, only to be met with a slightly irritated look from the Doctor, it was hard to be brilliant when Amy kept finishing his sentences for him. Either way he chose not to elaborate on that form of communication, either he didn't feel it was needed, or he had no idea how River did, which was irritating all on its own.
Jack walked over, extending his hand to the Doctor. "I have to sort this whole thing out with Ianto, gives me something to keep going for... tell you the truth, I was just about ready to blow out the final support and burry myself down here. And don't say that the earth doesn't need you... I am no replacement, and it seems lately all I do is get people killed... they need you... I need you..." He said, letting his eyes slip down to the floor of the hub.
"You've had to make some ..terrible decisions, and for that I'm very sorry. That comes with saving people. Don't try to tell yourself there is anything that I could have done differently with the 456. Decisions like that..it's a burden very few people have to handle... but you do have friends, and people who care about you to help you with it." His eyes trained reflexively toward Ianto...before they fell, realizing that he wasn't there. "..Who have mysteriously vanished at the moment, but couldn't have gone far."
Jack suddenly looked around and realized that the Doctor was right, Ianto had vanished, he frowned slightly, his brow knitting together. It did often happen though, when Jack was with the Doctor, everything else ceased to matter.
"Ugh! What part of don't wander too far is hard to understand!" Jack huffed before blinking a couple of times, looking over to the Doctor. "I sound like you."
For a moment he looked serious again. ``The 456, I don't know that anything could have been done differently, I guess part of me just wished I had someone else to blame... I'm sorry; I shouldn't have come at you for that." He said softly. He flipped open his strap, just checking the life signs to make sure that Ianto hadn't fallen through the rift again.
"See! I am always telling people that! And I have never been able to find someone who actually listens." The doctor exclaimed opting to ignore the apology and just let it go, it was not needed.
"Oi! And I've saved your stupid head more times than I care to count because of my wandering off!" Amy interjected, a melodramatic sigh was given, but he didn't argue Amy's statement, instead watching Jack as he checked his strap, which would clearly show the three of them, another back in the TARDIS, and absolutely no one else within one hundred yards. He'd apparently gone through the rift recently, though, so tracking him down, particularly in a city as small as Cardiff, shouldn't be a problem for an old hat at it like Jack.
"I put the number in there." The Doctor said it went without saying that it wasn't to be shared; much like the number Martha had used to contact him on multiple occasions or taken lightly. A direct line to the Doctor's TARDIS was more than enough for several dozen civilizations to go to war over, the human race included. "You've got him, I assume?" It wasn't a blatant request for permission to go, but it was strongly underlined. The universe was a big place, and the Doctor didn't make a habit of staying anywhere long. He also wouldn't ask if Jack was all right. People like them never (and always) were.
"He isn't too far, I've got him." He glanced at the one (technically two) life forms in the TARDIS, knowing one of them to be the TARDIS itself. "You are harboring one more? Is she shy?" He asked himself and a scant few others the Doctor almost always traveled with women, so it wasn't too far off to guess that it might be a she.
"No, that's my husband -" Amy said leaning toward Jack, her voice dropped conspiratorially. "..Long night, sleeping in -"
The doctor made a sudden sound of aghast interjection, clearly mortified. "Why do you say things like that -"
"Oh, please, 908 and you act like you're 9!"
"I can remember when you were nine!"
"Actually, it's more like you're six."
"..We're going - Captain," A brief nod was given in farewell before he turned, grabbing Amy by the elbow and beginning to frog march her back to the TARDIS.
"Do Time Lords not have sex? How do they make little Time Lords? You were grown, weren't you?" Amy interjected as she was brought towards the TARDIS and pushed inside.
Jack laughed watching the two of them bicker there way off towards the TARDIS. "Amy... he has been with you since he changed? Means he's a likely virgin all over again... be gentle with him." He called out after them. He would wait for them to vanish before setting out to find Ianto before the poor guy got himself in trouble.