(A/N:) Originally posted on dA. Tendershipping. OOC Bakura.
Wrote a while back when I was reading a book on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and this idea kept coming up in my head. I don't feel like it's very accurate on BPD, but I did the best I could with the symptoms I knew of.
yadonushi = host, landlord.
"Yadonushi?" Bakura's voice echoed throughout the apartment.
Bakura waited for a response, and when he got none, he tried calling for him again.
"Ryo?" Bakura tensed subconsciously for a moment, then went up the stairs. His boots made soft echos as they clunked on the hardwood floor. They were muffled as they reached carpet.
Bakura softly tapped on the other's door. "Hey...Ryo?" He waited, then opened the door quietly.
Ryo was sitting on his bed, in loose clothing. Bakura assumed he hadn't changed out of his pajamas yet. The smaller boy had his knees hugged to his chest, but still had them under the covers. Ryo blankly stared at the wall in front of him.
Bakura gave a weak smile. "Hey, yadonushi..."
Ryo gave no response.
Bakura frowned a little. "You should...Maybe you should change your clothes, now. It's one in the afternoon and you're still in your pajamas." Bakura gave a half-hearted laugh to try and lighten the mood.
Ryo once again made no response, and simply shifted around a little.
Bakura stared at him. "...Uhm...hey, how 'bout I help you?"
Ryo was still silent. Bakura sighed, giving up. He walked over to the white-haired boy, and pulled the covers away from him. Ryo hugged his knees closer to himself. Bakura lifted him up a little and brought him to the edge of the bed, causing a small whimper to come from Ryo.
"Hmm? What's wrong?" Bakura looked at Ryo.
Ryo stared at his own lap, still not saying anything. Bakura sighed.
Bakura grabbed a solid green t-shirt and some jeans for Ryo out of his drawers, and laid them next to the boy. He then proceeded to start unbuttoning Ryo's pajama top and pull it off him. Ryo was mute.
Before grabbing Ryo's shirt to put it on him, Bakura couldn't help but stare at Ryo. Ryo had seemed to lose an unbelievably vast amount of weight for two weeks, and his bones were practically sticking out. Bakura frowned and looked up at Ryo's face.
"Why aren't you eating?" Bakura held no anger in his voice--only worry.
Ryo didn't look up or answer back. He continued to stare blankly at his own lap.
Knowing for a fact he'd get no answer, Bakura continued by putting Ryo's shirt on. He smoothed the wrinkles of the fabric out on Ryo's chest, and then paused his hands there for a moment.
"...I'm really worried about you, Ryo," Bakura whispered.
In past six months, Ryo had caused so much trouble for both himself and the former thief. He had attempted suicide three times, almost starved himself to death five times, picked several fights with Marik (yes, Marik), and so much more. Bakura especially began to worry when he found a few scars on the boy's wrists when he was helping him change his clothes. In addition, the boy had become depressed recently, thus causing Bakura having to aid him in practically everything.
Bakura buttoned the top of Ryo's jeans, and stood up. He looked down at the white hair below him, and frowned. Ryo still wasn't responding.
He kneeled in front of him again and stroked his hair. "How about I make you something to eat?"
Ryo suddenly shook his head vigorously when he heard the word "eat." Bakura frowned again.
"Ryo, you need to eat. We don't want a repeat of what happened last month." He stroked the boy's bony cheek.
"I don't care...," Ryo barely whispered.
Bakura bit his lip at the sound of his voice. So weak, so fragile...It barely sounded like Ryo anymore.
"I'll just make some soup, okay? Just soup." Bakura stared at the brown eyes in front of him, and when Ryo said nothing, Bakura got up and went downstairs to the kitchen.
"I made chicken soup from the can, since it seemed easier to make," Bakura said, stepping back into the room with a tray in his hands. Ryo was lying on his side, staring at the wall.
Bakura set the tray onto the nightstand, and sat on the edge of Ryo's bed. He patted his arm a bit to have him sit up. Ryo slowly did.
Bakura got a spoonful of the soup, blew on it a bit to cool it off, then positioned it at Ryo's lips. Ryo made no move to take the soup into his mouth.
Bakura frowned. "Eat," he said. Ryo slowly shook his head. Bakura couldn't take it anymore. He put the spoon back in the bowl and stood up.
"God dammit, Ryo, why the hell do you have to make things so difficult?!" Bakura yelled. "Do you think I'll just stand here and let you be such a bitch about everything?! Do you know how sick I am of having to take care of you like you're some sort of invalid?! Do you know how much I hate that you're fucking skinny as a pole?! Do you know how much I dread it when I get a phone call from Malik saying you and Marik have been fighting again?! God damn, fucking Marik, Ryo!! Do you want to get yourself killed--?!" Bakura suddenly stopped. Ryo was shaking, and Bakura was afraid he was going to cry and have another breakdown.
"Oh...shit...," Bakura muttered. He threw his arms around Ryo, and Ryo gave a small whimper.
"Shh, it's okay. Please, Ryo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...I'm sorry, I just--I got angry, I...I'm sorry..." Bakura stroked the boy's hair, trying to comfort him.
Why did I go off like that? Bakura thought. God, I'm such an idiot...
Two weeks later, Ryo seemed to be getting a little better. His appetite increased a bit, much to Bakura's content. He was gaining a little more weight again, and was talking a little more and doing things himself more.
Things were almost alright.
"Yadonushi," Bakura called out. He laced up his boots and stood up straight.
Ryo came down the stairs. "Yeah?"
Bakura paused for a moment to look at the boy's eyes. They weren't lifeless anymore, and he seemed happier. Bakura could only hope that the boy would be okay with...
"Hey, uh...I'm going out tonight," Bakura said.
Ryo's smile suddenly turned into a frown. "Why? With who? Where?" Ryo said these questions in a flash, and with that he was now just a few steps away from Bakura.
Bakura cringed. He was afraid of this. "I'm just going out to hang out with Marik for a bit--"
"When will you be back?" Ryo blurted out.
Bakura blinked. "Err...I don't know, I--"
"When. Will. You. Be. Back?" Ryo said through gritted teeth. He was now two steps away from Bakura.
Bakura stared wide-eyed at the boy. He quickly came up with a time. "Ten 'o clock."
Ryo stared at him for a moment through narrowed eyes, then nodded. "Okay," he said. "Ten 'o clock...sharp." He put heavy emphasis on the last word.
Bakura nodded. "Right..."
Bakura took another sip of his beer and sighed. He never got chances to go out nowadays.
"Ryo trouble?" the spikey-haired blonde gave a smirk.
Bakura scoffed. "No shit, Sherlock..."
"Hmm, I thought you said he was doing better?" Marik took a sip of his own beer.
"Yeah, but before I left, he got all...clingy. He started interrogating me like I was about to go out and cheat on him or something..." Bakura finished up the bottle and set it aside.
"Well, you would expect it considering his...condition," Marik shrugged. "He was the same with Malik. Malik was scared as hell to end it himself, but I guess you could say it was lucky when Ryo broke up with him instead."
"Nah, not lucky...," Bakura said. "He's always like that when it comes to relationships: short 'n not-so-sweet."
Marik gave a deep chuckle. "I guess so. But he always seems to come back to you..." He cocked his head to the side.
Bakura shrugged. "You're right, I suppose." He sighed. "Next thing you know, he'll start trying to go after you..."
"Doubtful," Marik rolled his eyes. "He hates me, considering I hang out with you and live with Malik. I tried to tell him that I don't do anything, but he didn't and still doesn't believe me. Hence the fights he tries to start with me." He finished up his own beer and pushed it aside. "It just gets a little ridiculous sometimes."
Bakura nodded. "He can't help it, though..." He looked down, staring at the floor beneath the barstools. Marik remained silent.
Bakura looked up. "Hey...What time is it?"
Marik looked at the clock on the wall. "Uh...'bout five minutes before ten."
Bakura's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Oh shit," Bakura suddenly got up. He grabbed his keys off the counter and fumbled in his wallet to pay for his drink. "Crap, crap, crap!"
"What's wrong?" Marik questioned.
"I told Ryo I'd be home at ten!" He put a bill on the counter. "Oh God, he's gonna kill me..." Bakura ran out of the bar, and quickly got into his car. If he didn't make it home on time, who knows what would happen...
Ryo sat at the kitchen table, staring up at the clock on the wall. It was ten 'o three.
Ryo narrowed his eyes at the clock.
"...He's late."
Bakura messily parked his car in the driveway, but didn't care. He got out of the car quickly and locked it as he ran to the door. He looked at his watch, which stated it was a quarter after ten. God, he was so dead...
He fumbled with his keys and finally opened the door. He froze when he saw Ryo sitting there on the couch, staring at him.
Bakura shut the door behind him and swallowed "...I'm home," he croaked out. He had nothing better to say.
"You're late," Ryo said through his teeth.
"I know, I'm sorry, I--"
"If you knew you were late, why didn't you leave sooner?" Ryo got up from his spot.
"I didn't know, I--"
"Why didn't you check the time? You told me you'd be home at ten." He was now mere inches away from Bakura.
"I'm sorry, I forgot for a second--"
"YOU FORGOT?!" Ryo suddenly screamed. "YOU DON'T FORGET WHAT TIME YOU TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE HOME!! DID YOU LIE?! DID YOU LIE, BAKURA?! ARE YOU A FUCKING LIAR LIKE THAT SLUT FRIEND MARIK OF YOURS?!"
"SHUT UP!!" Bakura yelled without thinking. He realized what mistake he had just made when he felt a burn on his cheek.
The slap felt so much more painful than it really was.
Ryo's hand remained still as he stared up at Bakura's eyes. He was breathing heavily now from yelling, and Bakura had no idea what Ryo was going to say next.
"...You liar...," Ryo whispered. His eyes softened a bit, and he looked down. His hand went to his face as he started crying.
Bakura cringed. "Ryo..."
"You lied...You lied to me...," Ryo started muttering through his tears. "You said you'd be here on time...How am I supposed to know if I can trust you if you can't be here on time...?...But you lied...You lied..."
"Ryo, I didn't lie...," Bakura whispered. Ryo gave no response, and continued sobbing. Bakura stroked his hair, paused for a moment, and suddenly picked the boy up bridal-style. Ryo continued crying and made no response to this maneuver.
Bakura carried him up to his room, and set him down on his bed. Tears continued to roll down the pale boy's cheeks, and Ryo made an attempt to hide his eyes with his arm.
Bakura moved his arm away and looked at the shining doe eyes. Ryo just stared back, saying nothing.
"...I didn't lie, Ryo...," Bakura barely whispered. "I'm sorry...I should have left earlier, you're right..." He made soft kisses on the boy's cheeks, getting rid of the tears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Bakura kept repeating. He started to massage the boy's stomach. This was the only way to calm Ryo down when he was like this.
Bakura lay on his side, facing opposite of Ryo. Ryo was in a slumber, breathing softly with the covers rising up and down with every breath.
The wild-haired man stared out the window, looking at the moonlit neighborhood. He shivered a bit as a small breeze blew in, so he pulled the covers up a little more to cover his bare chest.
I don't know if I can deal with this anymore, Bakura thought. But...I just can't leave him alone. He doesn't have anybody anymore. He'd just suffer if there's no one there...
Bakura glanced over his side to look at Ryo. I'm his crutch, he thought.
He suddenly felt his throat go a little dry, and decided to get a drink. He got out of bed, and nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned around to find Ryo staring up at him.
"Where are you going?" Ryo squeezed Bakura's arm a bit.
Bakura stared into his eyes. "...I'm just getting something to drink."
Ryo stared back, saying nothing. He finally let go of Bakura's arm, turned over, and went back to sleep. Bakura sighed. He forgot the boy was quite a light sleeper at times.
Bakura pulled on his boxers before leaving the room, and looked back at the boy. He gave a sad smile as he watched him sleep peacefully, and a single thought went through his mind:
I just can't leave him.
