Title: Dib-Flirt
Cartoon: Invader Zim
For ZADRfan1's 22nd Birthday
Irken eyes blinked a few times, adjusting to unwelcomed light. He realized that there was someone hovering over him, staring him down. How could he stare him down more, though? He was already laying down, after all.
"Heh, heh. Wake up Zim."
The voice made the Invader have a headache every time heard it. He realized that he was cuffed to a table, and he was surrounded by white walls. The only other thing colored differently than white in the room besides himself was his worst enemy, the one who had strapped him to the table in the first place.
"Ugh. Dib-worm…." Zim wasn't in the mood. He NEVER was in the mood. Today, however, he was even less in the mood, if that's even possible.
"What's the matter Zim? Had enough before I've even started? How cute." sarcasm dripped from the human's words like blood from heavily bleeding cuts.
"Are you really this bored? Must I play along?" It was difficult to tell since Zim wasn't wearing the human-eye lenses, but he rolled his eyes.
Dib stomped a few times as though he were a child.
"Are you STUPID? Of COURSE I want you to play along! FEAR ME!"
Zim would have face palmed himself if his arms weren't trapped. Somehow, it was as though they had switched rolls. Did he always sound this desperate for attention?
"Fine. What are you going to do to me?" the Irken asked, obviously bored with the Dib's 'futile' attempts at keeping him from conquering the humans' planet.
The ebony-haired human pulled out an eyedropper. Inside of it sloshed the harmful fluid that only harmed Irken skin, water. Zim's eyes seemed to widen.
"I won't hurt you too much—ONLY if you tell me a secret of yours." Dib stared into the ruby eyes of the alien as he slowly squeezed the end of the dropper. A droplet of the lethal liquid fell onto Zim's leg. The alien yelped as it burned his green flesh. The human moved to Zim's arms, dropping a few drops of water on both of them, and even squeezing some onto Zim's PAK, which seemed to hurt him the most.
"FINE, HUMAN! I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING!" Zim screamed.
Dib watched his enemy intently, and stopped torturing him.
"I'm listening." He answered.
Zim sighed, and his antennae bent back for a moment, as though he was showing submission.
"On my home planet, Irk, my kind is mostly male. Females are rarely born, and rarely given the chance to prove themselves. Often, torture is a form of flirting on my planet, so do you know what we've been doing to each other these last few months I've been, here Dib? Hmmmmm?" Zim give Dib a seductive look.
"N-no…." the human said in disbelief, dropping the torture device onto the white tile he stood upon. He backed away from his enemy slowly. "This CAN'T be! NO!" he ran screaming from the room to take a bath and throw up. He didn't feel clean after what Zim had told him. Once the door shut, Zim laughed manically.
"Foolish human! He blieves my lies so easily. And how could he have not noticed that I pressed an emergency button on my PAK a moment ago? Gir is coming to free me at this very moment!"
As though on queue, his S.I.R. unti burst into the room, breaking some things. Zim was freed.
"So long Dib-flirt!" he laughed evilly at the hilarious thoughts he had as he escaped from his prison.
In the bath, Dib grumbled to himself,
"Sick…."