Prologue: To B&N… or NOT to B&N

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Kayla Hartland loved to sleep. Yes, it was almost certainly one of her favourite things to do. She loved sleeping late even more. But this morning, on September 5, Kayla was violently dragged out of bed by her best friend and tossed, half-awake, into a van.

"Nooo…" she groaned. "Leave me alooone…" Her chestnut eyes opened halfway to look hazily around the interior of the vehicle. Its crevices were still too dark in the pre-dawn tinge of violet on the horizon to make out much other than the seats. A half-conscious hiss from a cat's crate by her head alerted Kayla to her company.

"Lylia… Why did you stick your cat in this cage…?" Kayla peered at the Bombay, black cat in the crate, not yet raising her head from its comical sideways pose.

"She's coming with us! Shadow loves a good road trip!" smiled Lylia into the rearview mirror as she pulled out of the driveway and took off down the road, idly running a hand through her red-blonde hair. The cat, Shadow, simply yowled in disagreement. "Besides- the sign said we could bring a small pet."

"Sign…?"

"Yeah! The one at the Barnes & Noble we're going to!" Lylia's azure eyes twinkled cheerily, absurdly so at such an early hour.

"I swear to God, Lyl, if this ends up to be another surprise trip to Mexico…"

A half-hour later, approximately 6:50 A.M., the sun was stretching its arms lazily over the shedding trees as the van passed. Its metallic form pulled to a stop in front of the bookstore, upon which time Lylia hopped out and yanked open the door for Kayla. The latter yawned drearily as she stepped out; limber enough to at least give an illusion of mobility. Grabbing Shadow's crate, Lylia guided her friend into Barnes & Noble.

A change had overwhelmed the once-quaint shop. Two stories up and a giant cavern, the store seems far larger on the inside than the outside. Fantastic banners of all colours dotted the walls and bookshelves. Harry Potter memorabilia adorned the store like an illusionary sheet, declaring the locations of Bertie Botts' Every Flavour Beans and Chocolate Frogs. The pair of girls stared in amazement, shocked not only by the new decorations, but by the vast emptiness of the store in spite of its clearly open state.

To answer their bubbling questions about the huge absence of people, a tall, lanky man with green eyes and short brown hair cleared his throat behind them. "You're late."

"For a very important date?" supplied Lylia as she spun around.

"You're here for the exam, right?" the man rolled his eyes. He couldn't have been over 4 years older than them. Late teens somewhere?

"Yeah, let's say that," the blonde clapped her hands together.

"Follow me," he took Shadow's crate without another word and turned, heading for a door at the back of the chamber. Lylia blinked as her cat was lifted, thinking of mauling the man to get it back, but instead decided to just follow, Kayla at her side.

The trio (well, a quartet if you include Shadow, but she wouldn't be best at hitting the necessary high notes anyway) entered an even larger, long hall. It had sparse furnishings: the only décor comprised of several dozen desks and chairs. The man nodded Lylia and Kayla to an empty one, at which they promptly sat. A pamphlet drew their eyes: in front of them each, on the desk, sat a W.O.M.B.A.T. test and quill. Lylia chuckled as she lifted her orange and red-tipped one, tickling herself on the chin. Kayla glared at a girl next to them who shushed Lylia.

"You will have sixty minutes," declared the same man, now at the front of the room. "Raise your hand when you have finished."

"Dear God, Lylia, what have you gotten us into?" muttered Kayla. Her friend could do nothing in answer but shrug, dip her quill into their shared ink bottle, and open her test pamphlet.

Twenty-two minutes into the test, Lylia was bored.

When Lylia got bored, people died.

Lylia was not to be kept bored.

To entertain herself, she began experimentally nibbling at her quill's feathery end. This earned her a bizarre look from the dark-haired shusher beside them. After a few more test-takers stopped in their writing to tacitly watch this display of self-amusement, the man at the front of the room rolled his green eyes for the second time that hour. Approaching her, he lifted her test book and looked through it.

"You're finished, then?"

Lylia smiled. "Yeah. It was fun."

The man stopped at the last page: it seemed as though half of Lylia's ink bottle had been 'accidentally' used as lava for a doodled volcano. Thankfully, Kayla seemed finished as well, so she didn't run short on the ink.

Sighing, he spoke up to the multitude of test participants. "I shall begin to escort you in pairs to the scoring area as you finish. Remain seated and silent, or I shall learn of it."

Lylia jumped up suddenly, knocking her knee against the desk with a thump. "Quick! Quick~! Run to the doors! YOU CAN STILL GO FREE!!! I'M A DIVERSION! I'M A DIVERSION!"

As his moment of panic passed, their proctor grabbed onto Lylia's jacket hood as she tried jumping up onto the desk. "Get the bloody hell down from there!" Once she was yanked down, he retained his grip, drawing her to the door at the rear of the hall. Kayla shook her head, numb to the excitement after undergoing years of desensitization from her friend. She just grabbed her test pamphlet and followed, wary of the hundreds of eyes watching them leave. The blonde was not to go quietly, however, and she continued yelling enthusiastically as she was dragged along a narrow chamber.

"PROCTOR BRUTALITY!"

"Shut up," sighed the man. "It's not brutality."

"Then why am I being dragged?"

"Because you rub me. The wrong way."

Kayla threw in her two cents: "That sounded wrong."

Lylia's tone changed.

"PROCTOR HARRASSMENT!"