I don't own KnB or Harry Potter. I owe THIS gem to Eternal She-Wolf.
Summary: The one where Kuroko is Teddy Lupin, he learned everything he knows from his big brother Harry Potter, and when he brings his team home to introduce them, they come face to face with the self-washing dishes. Oops.
O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
No one on the Seirin Basketball Team had ever been to Kuroko's house, nor had they met anyone from his family.
This wasn't because Kuroko was trying to hide anything, or because he didn't have anyone, rather it was because Kuroko had had to learn it all from somewhere and he had learned everything he knew about Misdirection and his lack of presence from his older brother.
So it wasn't that Harry wasn't there, it was more that no one other than Kuroko ever saw him, and Harry wanted to leave the introductions up to Kuroko.
It's a normal day when Kuroko finally decides he can bring the team home to meet his older brother, but the Seirin Basketball Team will remember the date for the rest of their lives- a bright December 13th.
Kuroko had never actually brought anyone home to meet his older brother, not even the Generation of Miracles had met him, but the people on this team are different, and Kuroko feels like he can trust them in a way he hadn't ever trusted anyone other than Harry.
When your older brother and guardian is Hadrian James Potter it quickly becomes apparent that things can be very dangerous.
It's the reason Harry teaches Kuroko Misdirection and to suppress his presence, why he taught Kuroko his famous poker face, why Kuroko is actually very, very dangerous even if he doesn't appear to be.
It's also why it takes so long for Kuroko to invite his team to his home.
(It only takes one time, one mistake, for Kuroko to learn people are not above using him against his brother whether that is to get an assassin into the house, or as a hostage- both of which had occurred.)
It's after training is done, and they've all had showers when Kuroko turns to his team. "Would you all like to come to my house and meet my older brother?"
Everyone around him falls silent and stares at him, but Kuroko makes no move to retract the offer or explain, only waits.
"Y-you want us to meet your family?"
Kuroko nods. "Would you like to come?"
The team turns to stare at each other, all of them aware that this is the first time any of them are hearing about Kuroko's family, and all of them a little proud that Kuroko is reaching out to them voluntarily.
"Yeah."
"I'll go."
"Count us in!"
"Sounds nice."
One be one all of his team gives their agreement and even though Kuroko's mouth doesn't move, his eyes smile at them and the team grins back.
Kuroko leads them to a nice two story house that none of them have ever noticed before.
(More than one of the team members has the crazy thought that Kuroko's lack of presence seems to have affected his house and seeped into the walls for them to have missed it- when they bring this up to Kuroko later, he finds it so funny he never mentions the Wards.)
He opens the door, pulling his shoes off and calling "I'm home!"
As the rest of the team follows him inside, all of them slipping their shoes off, a happy voice calls back "Welcome home, Tetsuya-kun!"
Kuroko leads the way to the kitchen where the voice came from with his team on his heels.
The moment Kuroko gets into the kitchen he knows he should have called out that he had company. (He can't even blame Harry, since Kuroko hasn't ever brought anyone home- if he had to interact with others he met them at their houses or a burger place)
He is very aware of all 12 of his team mates freezing behind him, and he knows exactly what they are looking at.
The dishes that are washing, drying, and putting themselves away without any kind of human helping it along.
"What the actual hell Kuroko?" Kagami's voice is loud in the silence.
Kuroko sighed.