As I saw her pass by the road, my heart skipped a beat. I felt so many things as I saw in your face the care and worry. I wanted to tell her the truth but I just couldn't. From the days I said the worst day, it was all a lie. That last night, it was my most regretful, most painful, most heartbreaking day of my life.
She watched me walk towards the end of the village where I'd go. The gate was open and the sound ninjas were waiting for me. They gave me an invitation if ever I came to Orochimaru's side. I didn't know why I gave into it. As we fought, I forgot about her. I forgot that she was there, in the same village where I was. But now, it was too late. 3 years late…
Every time I was alone, I always wanted to change what happened that night. I've always wanted to go back and say what was really on my mind…in my heart.
--
"What are you doing… wandering around here at night?" I asked as I saw her. I tried to put a tone of sorrow in it but I didn't know how.
"Because in order to get out of the village, you have to take this road." she answered with the tone I didn't want to hear: sorrow.
"Go home and sleep."
I continued to walk with so much pain inside of me. I didn't know why I kept hurting her. I felt her gaze on me. I could hear the voice inside of me to stop and look at her. But I couldn't bear to see the tears in her eyes.
"Why?"
I stopped, finally.
"Why won't you tell me anything?" she continued. "Why do you always stay silent?" Stop, Sakura. "Why won't you say anything to me-?"
"Why do I have to tell you anything?" What the hell am I saying?! This isn't right! "It's none of your business." Sakura, please don't listen to me!! "Stop concerning yourself about what I do." Is this the only thing I said right?!
My last sentence was the only thing I said right. Yes, I didn't want Sakura to be concerning herself in any of my problems. 'Cause I knew it would be difficult for her and I didn't want her to get hurt because of me. But hell! Look at me, I'm already hurting her!! What is wrong with me?!?!
"You've… always hated me, huh?" she suddenly asked.
No, Sakura. I never did…"Do you remember…the day we became genin and when our three-member team was first chosen?" she continued.
Yes, Sakura. I do remember. I remember every thing with you.
"The day you and I were here alone, you got mad at me remember?"
I did…And I'm sorry, Sakura.
-FLASHBACK-
"Oh yeah, you know how he doesn't have parents, right?" she said with enthusiasm. "If you're alone, your parents wouldn't get mad at you. That's why he's so selfish."
I remembered that day anytime. Such another regretful day for me…"The solitude…" I suddenly said.
"What?"
"You can't even compare it to when your parents get mad at you."
"Wh-what's the matter?" I heard her scared voice.
"You're…" I hate saying those words. "annoying."
-END OF FLASHBACK-
"I don't remember." What?! What am I saying?!
"Makes sense." I heard her laugh a little but it was obviously a fake laugh filled with sorrow and pain. "That's something that happened a while back…"
Sakura, you don't understand.
"But that's the day when everything started…" she continued as we both recalled the happiest days of my life, with her, with Naruto, with Team 7. "You and I… And also Naruto and Kakashi-sensei."
She paused for a while and I could control myself a little. I didn't walk away yet even if I knew it was my chance. I remembered those days when the three of us together with Kakashi. The missions, the goofs and stupid jokes, the trainings…everything. And I knew she recalled them as well.
"The four of us completed a number of missions together."
Sakura, I…"They were tough and a lot of work…"
Sakura, please…"but…above all…"
Sakura, stop crying, please!"…It was fun!"
I flinched a little though she didn't notice. I felt her smile behind me…but then it vanished as she continued.
"I know about your clan, but revenge…" the sorrow in her voice, I couldn't stand it anymore. "that won't make anyone happy. No one."
I saw the shadow of the clouds cover the moonlight. She still continued…I didn't mind. I knew would be the end of everything…
"Neither you…nor I." she finally ended.
"Just as I thought." Out of the blue, I became I jerk again. "I'm different from you guys. I walk a different path than you guys."
Her silence meant so much pain to me. I didn't why I was like this.
"I tried to think it was my path to do the things we've done up until now. The four of us did things together, but my heart decided on revenge in the end…That's my purpose in life." I'm sorry, Sakura. I really am. "I can't become like you or Naruto."
"Are you going to choose to be alone again?!"
Sakura, Sakura, Sakura…"On that day, you taught me that me solitude is painful! I understand that so well right now."
Sakura, please I'm begging you…"I have family, and I have friends," she was crying too much I wanted to shout. "but if you're gone…to me…"
Sakura, stop crying!"It'll be the same as being alone!"
I remembered the picture frame. The frame I put down before I left. The faces of my friends. The face of the most important person of my life… She is right. Being alone was painful. But being alone without her was much more painful…!
Why am I still such a jerk!"From here on… A new path will open for all of us."
"I…!" she took one step and said something that I couldn't. "I love you so much!!"
Sakura…"If you stay with me, I'll make sure you won't regret it! Everyday will be fun. We'll definitely be happy. I'll do anything for you. So…" I could hear her tears fall down. "Please! Stay here!"
Sakura, you know I want to but…"I'll help you with your revenge. I'll do something! So please stay here…with me!" she was already begging too. "If you can't stay here…" the moon slowly shone again. "Take me with you." Then she continued to cry and I knew she couldn't stop anymore.
I don't want to, Sakura. I don't want you to get hurt.
"Heh, you really are annoying." I wanted to smile but I just couldn't.
And yes, I remember it. Don't mind what I said a while ago.
But why did I continue to walk?
Sakura, don't stop me.
"Don't leave! If you do, I'll scream! Huh?"
"Sakura…"
Listen to my voice, Sakura.
"Arigatou…"
I didn't want to hurt her, I was sorry.
Sakura…"Sasuke…kun…" then she fell to my arms.
I love you.