Self-Discovery

"I won't make one I'd share it with you… you have to say yes first." FiroEnnis

A/N: I am aware of how loooooooonnngggg it took for this couple to actually be together and it made writing them quite difficult. Still I hope you'll like my first fic for this couple and tell me what you think. My birthday treat to all. :P

Disclaimer: Look, if I own this, this would've happened in the series! But I don't own so you don't sue okay?

Finding her around the house is a no brainer really.

She's sitting across the room sewing buttons on a polo shirt. Her chair is situated by the window allowing sunlight to bask on her frame and make her hair sparkle like wine. She's once again oblivious of my presence and, by the way she bobs her head softly it seems that the music in her head is what's keeping her from noticing me. Her left hand holds onto the polo shirt while her right hand is responsible for the rhythmic pattern of sewing. I don't mind that she doesn't notice me. In fact I love watching her like this once in a while.

This room is fondly called her sewing room. It's quite fitting too because aside from sewing clothes to their semi-original forms, she mentioned that doing so helps her get her thoughts in order. The room has a basket of tattered clothes in one corner and beside it is a huge cabinet filled with different kinds of cloth and stuffing. There's a dresser just behind her with a big mirror but the drawers are filled with threads, needles, pins, buttons and ribbons. I'm pretty sure there are pairs of scissors lying around there too. I once joked that she should move in to this room but she quickly shook her head, "I don't think anyone would openly leave their clothes for me to sew if I moved here." She had a point though and, honestly I don't know what I'll do to anyone who dares disturb her privacy.

Ehem.

I lean against the doorframe and allow myself to smile. If I were to remember when she started picking up the habit of sewing it would be one of those danger filled, bullet flying nights. Who we were up against I couldn't remember, but I remember coming home with everyone exhausted and while some were lazily fingering the bullet holes of their coats and hats. She was waiting for us all night and though the first thing she usually does was to greet us with a smile and push us to dinner, she frowned and fingered through the bullet hole of my jacket, exactly on my left breast pocket. I didn't say anything as I watched her ruby orbs fill up with worry. It's a strange thing actually. Immortality should've erased the concept of worrying; I mean what's to worry about when you know you can't die? It was actually a refreshing sight to behold; the worry in her eyes makes me feel sort of normal again. I was too concentrated on the feeling I had that I didn't notice that she asked me a question.

Her head was tipped to the side, "Is it okay?"

I blinked and just nodded yes without knowing what the question was, but seeing that her eyes were free of worry and replaced with the warmth I'm used to… I just let it slide. The next day when I woke up I noticed my jacket was missing. I don't really remember taking it off outside my room so just when I was about to ask around I saw her in a small, empty room sitting next to Miria. I hear her giving her lessons about various chores that 'ladies-should-know'. At least that's what Miria keeps saying despite her obvious obliviousness to household chores. I just stood by the hallway listening to Miria's endless chatter as she introduced someone else by the name of Nice. I didn't know her very well back then but at least someone's going to stop Miria from going overboard… at least I hoped she would. I heard her questions and mingled laughter in their conversations and that's when I left deeming my jacket, although in questionable hands, would be safe.

I think this happened several months after the immortality mishap. Everything must be so new to her that sometimes I think she would be frightened by it. I stayed by her and so did everyone, who were too happy to help her through things that she may not comprehend. She loves discovering things for herself which is given since the old bastard that created her gave her no other purpose. Ever since she was freed from control she kept looking forward to every day's activities no matter how mundane it is. Personally I don't want her getting involved with guns anymore but in the long run I guess that's for her to decide. I'd like her to decide this on her own and not manipulate her the way the old bastard did.

The knowledge of a centuries old bastard is (I have to grudgingly admit), helpful. It's what helped me get her life back in the first place. The memories and knowledge that come with it are something I could live with. They are not mine after all and they wouldn't be with me if it weren't for the bastard's greed. I felt guilty at first seeing all those memories of different people I would never know, but as soon as I understood how it all began in a ship with Maizer-san his comrades I felt a strange surge of relief and peace. I thought maybe it was because I finally knew about the things he couldn't tell me before. It felt strange this sensation of "eating" a person and since I knew Maizer-san never "ate" anybody I thought of asking her. I told her about how odd it was having memories of other people inside of me and even if not all the memories were pleasant I felt peace.

She paused for a while with thoughtful eyes, "Back then I asked you to eat me right? I honestly didn't mind as long as it was you."

Feeling so embarrassed I had to look away, "What do you mean?"

I could feel her ruby orbs staring at me, "I'd be at peace knowing that my existence will stay with a person like you Firo, you're nothing like Szilard at all. The memories of those people will be forever theirs and unlike Szilard you won't use them the way he did."

Everything felt clear after we had that talk. To put things simply I guess it's like saying that I've helped put the "eaten" people to rest. It helped me adjust to this newly acquired immortality.

The arrival of Isaac and Miria's so called "souvenir" was a pleasant surprise to the both of us.

The arrangement was quite a shock at first but Chez and Ennis worked it out just fine. She adores Chez like her real blood brother and the latter really fancies her for a big sister. I am also aware that he is an immortal. At first I felt sorry for him being an immortal at his young age. He's in a body that doesn't age but that doesn't mean his mind doesn't and it gave an unsettling feeling. Before I even realized what I was going through Chez had already figured it out thus resorting to "bullying" me for his source of amusement. He'd purposely get in the way of my little walks with Ennis, pull pranks every once in a while and he'd even try to outdo me with every chance he gets. There were even, believe it or not, incidents of blackmail.

Then there was that birthday incident that really tipped me off. He gave her a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates on the date we set as her birthday. Delighted she gave him a peck on the cheek and hugged him. He had the guts to smirk in my direction and when she went around thanking the people who visited her on her special day he came towards me and said, "You know I may look like this but I'm a lot charming don't you think?"

The little prick.

Before I knew it I shared my thoughts to Maizer-san who gave me a quizzical look, "You don't like Chez?"

I sighed and tried setting my words straight again, "I just get the feeling that whenever he's around getting Ennis' attention is turning into a competition."

I had no idea what he was thinking but Maizer-san only blinked and replied, "He's just a kid." I continued to express myself on how wrong I think it was and, the little incidents on how he has made me suffer. I was about to tell Maizer-san my thoughts on how I should ask Chez on why the hell is he doing this to me, when he gave out a hearty laugh and replied, "That's quite a competition you have going there Firo!"

My brows furrowed and honestly I can't remember the reply I muttered.

Maizer-san was still laughing but he calmed down as he tapped my shoulder and smiled, "I think you've read Chez the wrong way. I think he approves of you. Honestly even if it is you Firo it's a miracle you survived his brand of bullying. Chez is rather… sadistic. Your case is a lot milder compared to the others."

I took "compared to others" in great consideration. I don't know why but I've never realized that Chez had been taking care of "the others". I've heard the men say stories about tortured/humiliated blokes around the city and with enough investigation I found out that Chez really was the one behind it all. From the guy floating naked in a half barrel in the river, to the guy with an unrecognizable, battered face tied behind the coach for hire in the park, and who could forget the guy who was literally hanging on to dear life on top of a 10 story building. His palm that was pierced through the building's flag post was the only thing that kept him falling.

I found another reason to thank immortality, that aside I got the hint.

I'm aware of what I'm getting myself into… however I forgot to put into consideration that one of the hardest things to teach would be emotions. As much as everyone including myself took our time teaching Ennis everything she needs to know the emotional part took a lot of time and, what everyone kept pointing out, patience on my part. Meddling from lots of people especially Chez didn't make things easy. The misunderstandings were a pain but it wasn't all that bad since it helped her develop an understanding of her own. I have to admit it's not easy but I didn't want to give up. Still you can't blame me for looking for some sort of hope or clue to know whether I'm getting through her not.

One night on a drunken stupor I ended up blurting it all out to none other than Isaac. Yes I told him everything from how I instantly fell in love with her; to how Ennis doesn't completely understand emotions, Chez's occasional blackmail, and how I'm desperately holding back and even considering giving up.

Then all of the sudden Isaac stood up with the bottle at hand and angrily pointed it at me, "That's stupid Firo!"

"Wha—"

He starts waving his arms and spilling the alcohol while he was at it, "IT'S LAAABBBBUUUUU~!"

I panicked, stood up and tried to calm him down, "Isaac-san your VOICE is TOO LOUD!"

Isaac continues to ignore and reaches for my shoulders instead, "Firo my man that's how loud your love is!"

"Will please stop shouting? And what in hell's name are you talking about?"

"So what if she doesn't understand? That's what you're there for right!"

"Huh?"

"Holding back is not like you Firo! You're always honest so why don't you be honest with her instead of holding back?"

I clung on his words for a while. The first time I saw her I instantly wanted to know more about her, that if I don't try talking to her I'd never forgive myself. Whenever I walked through the streets I'd gamble with luck and hope that I'd run into her again. I was so eager to find and know who she was and when I had the chance I immediately grabbed it. But somewhere along the way I hesitated… I hesitated because…

"Besides holding back is not like you Firo. Go ahead and tell her what you feel, you have to let her know. If she doesn't feel the same or doesn't understand then it's okay. If you are rejected in some way I'm sure you'll be fine."

That's right. I hesitated because I was afraid. Things started to add up and change between us that saying what I felt became the scariest thing for me to do. Her rejection might be because of her lack of understanding on what my feelings for her really are.

His words were starting to sting, "What makes you say that?"

Isaac looked at me like I was asking a very stupid question, "It's not like you'll give up on her just like that right?"

I can't. That's right I can't just give up on her like that.

Now back to the present, I will be forever indebted to Isaac-san… even if he doesn't remember that he gave me the best advice I've had in my lifetime. It's been years since I started taking Isaac's advice. I can't say that everything went smoothly after I confessed but it was okay. I waited while she learned and adjusted until eventually we are what we are now.

A couple.

But it doesn't end there of course.

"Why do you like doing that?"

My thoughts snapped back to reality and I realized that she's finally acknowledged my presence. I walked towards her and grinned, "Doing what?"

She bobbed her head towards the door, "Standing there and doing nothing, you should've just walked in and sat down you know."

I sat by the window pane and glanced at her, "Are you sure I was just standing and doing nothing?"

She looked up to me and I met her gaze as I noted a faint blush on her cheeks. Ennis gave a small smile as she shook her head and went back to what she was stitching. "So what have you discovered?"

"That you're really good at sewing and it puts the bullet holes of our clothes to shame. Maybe I should try getting burned next time."

She laughed as she examined the stitches she just made, "I am not that good you're exaggerating, and for your sake Firo I hope you're joking because I can't stitch ashes back together."

Satisfied with her handiwork she folded the polo neatly and stacked it together with the others on the table, "How's the Gandour brothers?"

"They're doing fine, our job ended easily with no problems at all."

Ennis gave me a doubting look and walked towards me. She stopped inches in front of me and started scanning me for injuries. I watch her ruby orbs fill up with worry as she scrutinize me making sure I'm not injured or there are no bullet holes in my clothes. Her hair is still short because she likes it that way. The shimmer of her hair hasn't disappeared at all as I stupidly tried to search for strands of grey or a glimmer of white. I don't know how many years have passed since the day she first scrutinized me for bullet holes but I'll never tire of it.

"Have I ever told you how I much I appreciate you doing this?"

She doesn't raise her eyes instead she raised his left arm and starts inspecting his sleeve, "Really?"

"I could always just point out where I got shot and how many holes I've gathered."

She raises his right arm next, "Sometimes you don't bother at all because you know it won't kill you. You're careless enough as it is."

I chuckled as I listen to her complaint, "I know. That's why I really love it when you do this it makes me feel normal."

It made her stop her inspection as she stared at me like I grew another head and laugh.

I was being serious so naturally her laughing bothered me, "You're blushing."

She gave a small smile, "I know."

I inhaled her scent and I know its time, "Ennis."

She's still searching for injuries and doesn't look up, "Hmn?"

I tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear,"I've discovered something else too."

This caught her attention as she stared at me and raised a curious brow, "Oh?"

"You see I've discovered it the first time you told me your name. Of course I found out without the old bastard's help."

She let out a small chuckle, "Alright, so what have you discovered?"

I leaned my head closer to hers, "You're missing a last name."

She didn't look surprised instead confusion was written on her face, "That's because I don't have one."

I fiddled with the tiny black box in my pocket, "Really? Well if you would agree to my proposal I could give you one."

Ruby orbs lit up in surprise although, I think she's missing the point, "Really? You'd make one for me?"

Which is really exciting for me, I smiled and took the chance the wrap my arm around her waist. "I won't make one, I'd share it with you, you have to say yes first."

"Say yes to wha-"

I raised my free hand to reveal the tiny black box. With a flick of my thumb the box opened with a tiny popping sound as it revealed the only thing that probably shines as bright as her ruby orbs.

Tears were starting to form around her eyes as I rested my forehead against hers, "How does 'Ennis Prochainezo' sound?"

Firo was staring at the doorway when a familiar voice spoke from outside the window, "My, my Firo where ever did you learn to propose like that?"

He chuckled in reply, "If I must give some credit I'd say your proposal story is very inspiring Clare. Or is it Vino?"

It was Clare's turn to laugh as he easily slid inside the room, "Smooth. Real smooth."

"Really? Respect me now?"

"You're getting way over yourself."

The two men turned to the direction of the voice by the door. Chez had an annoyed expression on his face directed to Firo. It seems he has completely ignored the other guest in the room but Firo didn't mind; he's suddenly feeling very smug.

The newly engaged man smirked, "It's fine. Calling me 'Big Brother' would take some adjustments."

He raises a brow, "Like hell I would."

"Come on Chez-kun he's not that bad! But you know Firo you could always suggest adoption. How does 'Father' sound?"

"Don't you DARE! That's the most stupi-" Chez stopped midsentence and his eyes widened at the recognition of the voice. A glance was all it took for him to have a mortified expression and run screaming out the door.

Firo gave him a questioning look but Clare simply shrugged, "Pity. I've always thought you'd make a good father."

"I don't know if it was you or the father suggestion that mortified him."

"A little bit of both, I did suggest the father thing."

A small smile crept up as he made a mental note to invite Clare more often. Speaking of invitations, "You're coming right?"

Clare gave a wide grin, "If you could adopt the kid and squeeze me in as a godfather, sure."

A/N: I felt like there's a part that I kept dragging in this one shot so I'm not that proud about this. I do love the last part because Clare's sadist side is just too tempting not to insert. Hahahaha. R&R please and thank you.