Summary: After the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo returns to the Shire, leaving something important behind. This story will contain Slash.
A/N: After watching BOTFM armies and reading some Hobbit fanfiction, this story started to plague me and I just needed to try and put it down on paper and get it out of my head. This story will be AU, Thorin, Fili and Kili all survive the battle. There will be slash. Don't like then don't read.
Be advised…this is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.
Chapter 1
"No."
"But Thorin," Balin argued yet again.
"No," the dwarf answered. He did not want to have this discussion again.
"We need to know for sure," said Balin. "You need to know."
Grief and untold anguish filled his blue eyes, as he looked up and met his old friend's gaze, and whispered, "I know." With a shuddering breath the king finally looked away, stood up and limped, heavily favoring his right leg, to the open balcony doors overlooking a garden. The view caused another spike of pain to sear through his heart. His One would have loved the view.
They stood tensely quiet for a few minutes before Balin finally spoke. "We never found a body…"
"Enough!" Thorin boomed, as he pinched the bridge of his nose. These conversations always left him with a blinding headache. It was not that he wished his One dead but he had seen him fall in battle!
Undeterred Balin continued, "We just wish to return to Bag End and see if he has returned." When his king said nothing he added, "We have nothing to lose and everything to gain."
"Nothing to lose but time and effort," the dark haired dwarf retorted. "I know he is not there." Panting softly, he unconsciously wrapped his arm across the wound he received during the war, now being called the Battle of the Five Armies.
"Tis ours to lose."
"No matter how much I wish it otherwise, no matter how much I beg Mahal to change it, the fact remains," Thorin said, as he swayed slightly and with pain, both emotional and physical, etched his face. "He is gone and nothing will change that."
As he slowly turned to return to his desk, the king felt his legs give out from under him and he was suddenly pitched towards the floor.
"Thorin!" Balin yelled, as he moved to grab the larger dwarf, wrapping his arms around him and supporting him. The injured dwarf cried out in pain and his face drained of all color, as he was slowly lowered to the floor.
Hearing the commotion, the guards in the hall opened the door and started in. "Your majesty?" they asked as they moved to assist.
Quickly waving them off, Balin ordered, "Get Healer Oín!"
"I do not need a healer," gasped the king, as one dwarf headed for the door.
The guard stopped in the doorway and Balin commanded, "Now!"
Without further ado, he hurried away. Looking at the other guard, the older dwarf said, "I will help the king. Return to your post."
With a nod, the guard returned to his post, shutting the door behind him.
"What's wrong lad?"
"Let it be," Thorin answered, face covered in a light sheen of sweat.
"But," Balin started, as he pulled his hand away from his friend's side. He was shocked to find his hand was damp. Glancing down, he saw it was covered in blood. "What?!" he was flabbergasted. "You're bleeding!"
"Leave it."
Ignoring the order, Balin pulled the king's shirt open. The bandages underneath were blood soaked. "This still hasn't healed?"
"No," Thorin confirmed.
"It's been months."
"Aye."
"Does Oín know?"
"Yes."
"I'm sure he's not pleased," Balin said, as he visually surveyed the king for further injuries.
"To say the least," Thorin agreed, as he used one hand to cover his wound.
After giving the King as few moments to catch his breath, Balin said, "Come, let's get you up off this floor." As he adjusted his hold on his friend, the older dwarf felt a hard bulge just below his waistline.
'No!' thought the councilor, as he drew in a sharp breath. "Milord?" he managed to ask.
With a soft sigh, Throin answered, "Aye, my friend it's as you expect."
Frowning, Balin closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. This should be a cause for happiness not despair. Finally he whispered, "I'm so sorry Thorin."
Shaking his head, the king ignored the apology and said, "Help me up."
Wrapping one of Thorin's arms over his shoulder Balin reaffirmed his grip around the dark haired dwarf's waist and asked, "Ready?"
Nodding his assent, Thorin struggled to stand, as Balin lifted him, together they got him up off the floor and into his waiting chair. By the time he leaned back, the injured dwarf was worn out and sweat soaked.
The grey haired advisor was shocked by how light the bigger dwarf actually was. It was common knowledge among the Company that Thorin was not doing well since the battle. Injury, guilt and grief were wearing the warrior down, particularly grief. He wasn't eating well, wasn't taking his medicine, wasn't sleeping and now this. He was slowly disappearing before their eyes and if something wasn't done, they would lose him too. Going to the Shire was a desperate gamble with little real hope of success. Still it was all they had.
Pulling a chair around the desk, Balin sat down next his friend and king, before asking, "Did he know?"
With a small ironic snort and a shake of his head, Thorin answered, "No, I'm not even sure he knew it was possible."
"Most outsiders don't," agreed Balin, before admitting, "I'm just surprised."
"That I never told him?" questioned Thorin. "The chances seemed so remote and I never figured I'd be blessed…" he left the rest unsaid. Burying his face in his hands, he admitted, "By the time I realized myself, it was too late." The strong dwarf's voice broke as he continued, hands fisted in his hair, "He was dead, taking my chance of making things right with him."
"I am so sorry Thorin," Balin consoled his friend, as he laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. After a few long moments he was continued, "I just meant I was surprised you allowed him such an intimate liberty."
"I could deny him nothing," explained Thorin. "And honestly it was a relief to surrender control to someone else, even for a short time."
The older dwarf nodded his understanding. Their King had carried the weight of their people on his shoulders from a very tender age, always putting their wants and needs, before his own. He always had to be the strong leader, never allowing any to see a weakness. Allowing his One the chance to be the dominate partner and take charge, even for a short time, would be very intimate gesture. With his One, Thorin did need to always be the strong one; he finally had someone to share the weight of leadership.
The revelation cemented Balin's resolve that they needed to return the Shire and check if their burglar was not there and truly gone from them.
Laying a gentle hand on the king's shoulder, the older dwarf said, "Please Thorin, you're slowly disappearing before our eyes. Your wounds have not healed, you're exhausted all the time and slowly losing weight at a time that you should be gaining it." Meeting Thorin's blue eyes, he added, "I fear for you milord."
"There is no need to fear," answered the king, though his reply lacked conviction.
"You must hold tight lad," urged Balin, "A small piece of him is still with you!"
Leaning back in his chair, Thorin dragged his hands down his face. "I never thought this would happen to me Balin. I never looked for it." Taking a deep breath he continued, "And now to do it alone...it's almost…almost too much," he finally admitted.
"You are never alone lad," the older dwarf assured the king, "the Company will always be there for you and your family." Pressing the issue Balin continued, "And we will go to the Shire."
When Thorin looked ready to argue yet again, Balin added, "At worst, we can notify his kin and close his estate for you." This time the old councilor refused to take no for an answer. They had nothing to lose. Their king was slowly fading and they would surely lose him if their burglar was gone from this world. As he watched his friend lay a gentle hand on the slight bulge at his waist, Balin was sure the only thing holding Thorin here was the babe inside him. Once the child was born, the king would quickly join his One on the other side. Their only hope was somehow the hobbit made it back to the Shire after the battle.
Nodding his acquiescence, Thorin asked, "When will you leave?"
Surprised, Balin stuttered, "I had not planned…"
"I only trust you with his my friend."
Sighing, the older dwarf quietly agreed, "I will leave in the morn."
"Take someone with you," Thorin. At that same moment the door opened and Oín stomped in.
"What've ya done to yourself this time laddie," the elderly dwarf grumped, as he walked over to his king.
"His wound bleeds," Balin informed the healer, as he stood and readied to leave. He would not share his king's other secret with the aging dwarf, that was his story to share or not. Readying to leave Thorin in the clutches of their healer he assured the king, "I will take someone."
"Someone we trust," the younger dwarf ordered as his healer carefully moved his shirt and growled at the bloodied bandages.
"Thorin you must take care of this wound if tis to heal," grumbled Oín as he readied his healing supplies.
With a soft sigh Thorin answered, "I have…"
"Do not play me for a fool dwarfling!" ordered Oín, as he sternly glared at his king. The healer, who had been Thor's personal physician, was one of the few dwarves that could get away with calling their king such. "I can tell when a wound has not been cared for!"
The king knew when to say nothing and just leaned back in his chair, allowing the healer vent his frustration while he did his job.
"I will take my leave," Balin said with a bow and small smile at the interaction between healer and patient. He softly added to Oín, "We meet in an hour, my chambers."
The old healer waved him off with a grunt and Balin turned and walked out the door, shutting it behind him. Dwalin was leaning against the far wall, waiting for him.
The larger dwarf pushed himself away from the wall and joined his brother to stride down the hall shoulder to shoulder. "Did he agree?"
"Aye," said Balin, "Finally."
As they walked towards the councilor's office, Dwalin asked, "Who will ya send?"
"He sends me."
"What?" a surprised Dwalin questions.
As they step into Balin's office, as he answers, "He says he only trusts me with this task."
"I guess that makes sense," Dwalin nodded.
"Gather the Company, we will meet here in a bell," the grey haired dwarf told his brothers, as he sorted through papers.
Without saying a word the Captain of the Guard, turned and walked out the door, while the councilor continued to clear his desk. He had much do before leaving in the morn.
O~O~O
The Company debated well into the night, trying to decide who would travel with Balin to the Shire. Most now had responsibilities to the retaken Kingdom that would be difficult to leave behind. Dwalin could not go, as the Company would trust no others with their King's safety. Oín needed to be in the Mountain to care for Thorin. Fili was needed to take on the burden of ruling as Thorin's health continued to deteriorate. Bofur and Bifur worked to re-open their mines. The sooner they were open, the sooner the crafters had metal to work with. Bombur was head of the kitchens and fed the mountains but more importantly he cooked for the king. Anything they could get him to eat that this point was a help. Nori was the King's spy and his hands full keep them off informed of the goings-on in the restored kingdom. Dori was the mountain's guild master. He was attempting to reestablish the guilds and forge new trade with the world. Ori was head scribe and would take on some of Balin's duties after he left for the trip. That left the younger prince, Kili.
Kili's was grievously wounded in the Battle. When he was first found, the healers just shook their heads; they patched him up but were convinced he'd not live out the night. The young dwarf surprised them all. Not only did he survive that first night, he defied all the odds and lived! His healing was long and painful but he made a full recovery, eventually. He was recently given a glowing bill of health from Oín and formally released from the healer's clutches.
So it was that Balin and Kili were saddling to ponies the next morning, readying to leave on their journey.
"Ready lad?" Balin asked.
"Aye," Kili answered, "It will be nice to be out in the sunshine again." Turning to glare at Oín, "And away from the grasp of evil healers!"
"Save me from the antics of healing princes," Oín retaliated, as he handed a satchel of healing herbs and bandages to Balin. "Just in case."
Nodding his head the councilor added it to his packs, as the old healer stomped away.
After exchanging goodbyes and a fierce hug with his nephew, Thorin approached Balin just as he prepared to climb up on his pony.
"A moment," Thorin asked.
"Be safe brother," Fili said, as he stepped away from the young dwarf's pony. "Return safe."
"I will," Kili reassured his older sibling. Leaning down so only his Fili could hear him, he added, "Take care of Uncle."
They clasp forearms and Fili growled his assurance. "We will."
"I'll meet you at the gates," Kili told Balin, wanting to give the two some privacy. He cantered the pony away before the older dwarf could reply.
"My King," the older dwarf prompted.
"If he is there…." Thorin started but was unable to finish. He refused to let himself hope….too much.
"We will bring him home to Erebor," said Balin, "if he is there."
"Do not make him," the King said, "If he is angry or wishes not to see me…do not make him."
"And the rest?" Balin asked, dropping his eyes to Thorin's waistline, "May we share the rest?"
"Aye," the King answered tiredly. "You may tell him."
Mounting his pony Balin said, "If it is possible we will bring him back lad."
Stepping away from the dwarf's pony, Thorin said, "Be safe," he said. With a small grin he added, "And do not strangle my young nephew before you reach the Shire."
"I can make no guarantees," Balin quipped as he turned the pony and rode away.
"May Mahal's blessings go with you," whispered Thorin. "And all my hopes…."
A/N: So yes, this will be slash and mpreg. After reading so many stories where Bilbo left pregnant, I had to try the opposite. Bilbo is gone but Thorin is left with a surprise. This is obviously AU. I will try and keep everyone as close to character as possible but I may slip occasionally. I'm currently writing my own original work, so I have no idea how fast updates. I just wanted to post it and see if there was any interest….