Pairings/Warnings: 1x2xR, heterosexual and homosexual sex, language, heavy angst with some light notes thrown in of course

Notes: Wow I've been sitting on this a long time but discussion of OT3s brought mine out of me eventually! Title credits go to Miss M, who suggested Duo's EW dub line "anything at all for the one you love." Also, the fifth line in Duo's section is totally credited to Miss M as well as we discussed it while she was writing her 1xR and she didn't get a chance to use it there. ;-P I would've never thought of that line on my own haha!

As always thanks to Miss M for the beta. *snugs* (And sorry for any brain meltage...!)

~ Relena ~

It is difficult to be in love with a man who is in love with another man.

And it isn't hard to tell how Heero feels about Duo. I mean, I'm not blind or stupid. The enormity of the respect and affection he has for his comrade is nearly suffocating to me – though I try not to be jealous. Heero obviously feels something for me as well and Duo is very kind and very patient and really... I like Duo too. I don't know that I will ever come to love him, not the way that Heero does, but over time our relationship has evolved. I see how he treats Heero, how he watches out for him, how he cares for him – and he can go places I can't. I can't be there for him on missions – nor would I know how to help even if I could. Hell, I can hardly make these meetings, however brief, and it is at times like that I am grateful that Heero has him so that he doesn't have to be alone in my absence.

I feel Duo's eyes on us as Heero kisses me and I know to some degree it must irritate him. At first, nothing was off limits in this complicated relationship we shared, but then one day Duo came to talk to me – alone. I found him in my bedroom, waiting, and though it scared me I wasn't incredibly surprised by his ability to bypass my security. So we talked. He laid down some ground rules. I suggested some of my own. We came to an agreement we both could live with and he kissed me on the mouth, smiled, and left as discreetly as he'd arrived. I guess that was the beginning of my own respect for him – that he would come to me directly instead of hoarding Heero for himself, though I'm sure he could've had he been more selfish. It proved that he loved Heero enough to try to make this work for us.

But I knew, still, those rules were forged out of jealousy and he slunk off to the bathroom, leaving me a precious few moments alone with Heero. I was sure Duo did this as a kindness to me and I appreciated that more than he could ever know.

Heero gripped my jaw at the throat and pushed me back into the mattress, a little rough but then I liked that and he knew it. His mouth was warm and demanding and I let myself fall into the kiss, closing my eyes and concentrating on the feeling of it, the way his tongue teased, knowing intimately how it felt all over my body.

He was like the ocean, stormy and terrible, just like the day I met him and I knew to be sucked in would be my end but then I wasn't strong enough to fight it. I pressed my body against his, unable to stop the movement of my hips against his, feeling wanton and needy.

It had been weeks. I had been on a tour of the colonies, trapped in boardroom after boardroom, shuttle after shuttle, and I needed this. Duo understood. I knew he did and that was why he gave me this moment. Not often, no, far too infrequently Duo was the one away on a mission while Heero was needed here and Heero was left alone to share my bed and mine alone – and when Duo got back he craved with a frightening ferocity, an uncontrollable jealousy, sometimes so violent I was afraid he would hurt Heero. It got to the point where I made him circumvent Duo at his apartment before he found his way here because I couldn't deal with that side of Duo. He was too harsh, too unpredictable.

But tonight was not like that. Duo had gotten over a month alone with Heero and he was being kind and generous. He had brought me chocolates and flowers – something I knew he did of his own volition, something Heero would not think to do – and asked me how my trip went, massaging my shoulders gently as the three of us caught up. So no, it is not hard to see what Heero sees in Duo, and despite his moods it is not hard to care for him, even when he is the one Heero holds most dearly to his heart.

Though these things do not matter as I feel Heero's fingers on my leg, sliding up my silky nightgown to my panties. I am nearly embarrassed by how turned on I am, by the movement of my hips, by the wetness he'll find there, by the way my chest heaves, pressing against his, nipples over stimulated by slick silk. But he moans softly into my mouth as his fingers touch me, shifting elastic to the side so that he can run those fingers up and I jolt, clutching his arms foolishly tight. I am panting as he slides them back down and into me, his other hand managing to cup my breast, thumb on my nipple and I am completely helpless. My hips are desperate, each thrust of his fingers not at all what I want, each stroke of his thumb driving me mad, making me want more and more.

I do not care when Duo joins us. I know he does because Heero moans again and I can tell it is different but it doesn't matter because it feels wonderful against my mouth. I part my eyes just slightly to see Duo nipping his way down Heero's neck and I close them again, concentrating once more on the feeling of Heero fingering me. I know when Duo has reached down between us, when he has opened Heero's pants and started fondling our lover because Heero stops completely for a moment, caught up in what I know must feel wonderful for him.

But then Heero withdraws his fingers and I whimper, opening my eyes to stare into his deep blue, curious as to why he's stopped and he lifts up my nightgown further, pulling my hips closer to his. I think we both gasp simultaneously as Duo slides the head of Heero's erection against my slit, stroking it up and down, covering it in my wetness to tease him before sliding it back up to my clit to tease me. Heero draws down the shoulder strap of my gown, exposing a breast to tease in his own way, through an experienced tongue and gentle hands and I want more. I want to move this along. I don't want to be teased but then I have missed this torment too and I try to remain patient. These moments are too far and too few and too precious.

Duo laughs as my hands jerk in Heero's hair and in my impatience I pop him in the face. He stops his cock tease and looks over Heero at me. I look up at him, a light blush on my face, but he is truly amused and I know it is okay. He runs his hand against my arm in a comforting gesture and then moves to the side. Heero grabs my hips and turns me over on top of him and I do not complain.

I slide myself onto Heero with a delighted moan and watch his eyelids flutter as I do this. His hands are on my hips, guiding me, and I feel Duo at my back, stroking my long hair over my shoulder to bite at the back of my neck. The shiver that courses down my spine is undeniable. Despite how at times I long to have Heero's affection as my own, having two very attractive, very attentive men in bed with me was unbelievably sexy.

I feel completely corrupt with the elastic of the panties I didn't bother to take off digging into my inner thigh, one strap of my gown down, exposing my breast, my hands on Heero's chest, helping give me purchase to slam down onto him but I do not care. I feel Duo's chest press up against my back, warm and hard, his mouth at my ear, his fingers sliding up under my gown, pushing my underwear even further to the side as he touches my clit and I am left shaking and unable to move. They both know what I really want and Duo nudges my ear with his nose, a signal between us, and I look back at him.

Our eyes meet and we share an impromptu kiss and I don't mind kissing him. Though he is rough with Heero, he is tender with me. But he is still a tease and I gasp into our kiss as he teases his fingers against me once more and my fingernails dig into Heero's chest. But Heero doesn't mind, his own fingers just grip harder at my thighs.

I glare at Duo as our mouths separate but he is just smirking, removing his hand from under my gown, and I turn a little more to grab his cock and tug. He is caught off guard by this and it was my turn to smirk as his eyes snapped shut, his mouth falling open with a little gasp as he leaned heavily into me. I kissed him again and Heero wiggled his hips impatiently at our play.

For a moment we all share a smile and I think, while it is difficult to be in love with a man who is in love with another man, this really isn't such a bad solution.

~ Duo ~

It's damn difficult to know you are not enough for the man that you love.

I guess I kinda always knew I wouldn't be. Even after 'Ro joined Preventer and we struck up whatever it was between us I knew he missed her, had her number programmed into his phone and would stare at it but never call, would volunteer for assignments on her detail, and yeah, I'm not dumb. It's not that I don't think he loves me or whatever, I'm not real wrapped up in that chicky shit the way she is, and I guess maybe that's because I know he does, know he sought me out, and know that he will always come back to me. And it's not even that I care if wants to eat pussy or whatever, I mean, it's not my thing but I don't judge what gets anyone off. It's not even her, really, I like Relena fine, never had a grudge against her or anything it's just...

I'm a jealous little bitch. There. I said it. Chalk it up to losing way too many people who were important to me as a kid when there was jack shit I could do about it. Consequently the people I care about I guard selfishly and I do not like to share. To be frank, I don't like Heero out of my sight – obviously I got some psych issues and should probably see a damned shrink but we all have shit we gotta deal with, Christ – and I miss him like burning when I'm away. We've been together so long now and every day the thought of losing him becomes more and more unbearable and I just…

Fuck. It's just hard. Hard to admit I'm not enough for him. Hard to know he finds comfort in someone else when I'm away. Hard to share someone who means so much to me. I can't help it. But I want him to be happy and so I deal. I let him go to her when I'm not there. I made peace with Relena, with our shared relationship, but there is still a piece of me that flared with jealousy when I saw them together, when I thought of them together while I was away, when he showed her affection independently of me but tonight...

Tonight I tried to be patient. She had been gone for five whole weeks. I sated myself on Heero's body, took as much as he could give, did stupid couple's shit like having dinner together, actually sleeping together every night, me cuddled up against his body, and yeah, I revelled in him selfishly. If I were in Relena's position I would not be anywhere near as gracious as she was about the whole thing. So I let them kiss, let her enjoy some solo foreplay as I prepped myself in the bathroom, head against my forearm, up against the wall, imagining select scenes from our month-long romp as I fingered myself and realized that if I were a better person I wouldn't even be here – but I'm not. And this was one of her stipulations anyway – that whenever we were all available we would all be together. It was made to benefit her as she was away more often and surely she wouldn't have minded if I backed out but it was better not to break our agreed upon parameters. Things were good between us all now and I didn't want to ruin that trying to be selfless when I knew I couldn't be.

And actually it wasn't that hard tonight. I enjoyed teasing them, enjoyed the way Heero shivered against my back, the noises he made, even the way Relena reacted, so damn needy I found it turning me on. I knew that feeling intimately, knew what it was like just to need him so fucking bad and I sympathized with that. How could I not? God I could be gone five fucking days and want him so bad it hurt in my gut – I couldn't imagine what five weeks would be like.

And it was fun to see her like this, totally uninhibited. Sure, chicks aren't really my thing. I mean, she wasn't unattractive but I just – whatever. They never did much for me is what I'm saying but it was hard not to feel some level of attraction when she was moaning on his dick, face flushed, and it was just too easy to totally derail her.

I know so much about her now, as she does me, and I know what she wants and she knows what I want and no words need to be expressed between us anymore. Not that talking was ever a big point of this relationship to begin with – part of what really made it so damn hard at the beginning – but now we actually knew what each other's nonverbal cues meant and it made things better, made things easy.

Still, though, I was shocked when she grabbed my dick like that. Sure, we kissed and shit, I showed her physical affection. At first it was forced, trying to get used the inevitable, but it came easily now and I didn't mind. But rarely did she touch me and I could hardly help but enjoy the tease, enjoy the level of comfort we were finally able to manage, jealousy sloughing away in layers.

I felt Heero rock his hips as I was sitting between his legs and Relena and I shared a smile and then looked over to him, feigning irritation, a hint of a smile on his face as well and it made my heart swell to see him happy like that. It was still an infrequent thing, his smile, and if Relena and I had to be together and getting along to get it then fuck – I didn't damn well care.

She slid off of him and took a moment to take off her underwear before moving up to sit on his chest while I straddled his hips in the same way she did only moments ago. I flipped open the little tube of lube while she was doing that, slicked his dick in it and felt his hips jerk upward at the attention. There was a moment of stillness between us as I seated myself on him, cursing as I did so, my head buried against Relena's back, not prepped as well as maybe I should've been, but then I wasn't one to turn down pain with my pleasure.

I panted for just a moment when he was in, kissed her shoulder to let her know we were good, and she slid forward a bit, positioning herself in close proximity to Heero's mouth. I knew better than to do much more than tease and it wasn't so hard after having him all to myself so many weeks in a row and so I reached up, fondled a breast through the sheer material of her gown, teasing her nipple as Heero fingered her, licked her, got her off in a way that was frankly a complete fucking mystery to me but hey – I'm not one to fault anyone for a love of oral sex.

And she enjoys what I'm doing too, grabs my hand, presses it harder against her chest and I am filled with a stupid giddy kinda excitement I never had before. I never managed to touch her in a way that pleased her and maybe that was partially 'cause I was scared of her, scared of chicks, didn't really know what I was damn doing with them and maybe it was partially because she wasn't into me but whatever – I was doing something right tonight and with her approval and Heero inching in and out of me, rubbing my prostate and sending sparks down my spine we were finally, truly, in tune with each other and it felt damn good.

"Oh there, there," she moaned softly to encourage Heero and grabbed my hand tighter to encourage me. I knew she wanted to say his name but she didn't, a rule I established right from the beginning, my jealousy at hearing her say his name like that knowing no bounds.

"Fuck," I muttered out helplessly as Heero's hips began to rock harder, fucking me way more than I was fucking him, with way more strength and coordination than a normal human should be able to possess and I leaned heavily into her. Her hand sought out my knee to steady herself as she approached orgasm and we steepled our bodies against each other, her head thrown over my shoulder, my face buried in her neck, sharing the same gasps and moans and feelings of pleasure over the same man.

"Come," I whispered shakily into her ear as her breathing hitched and I sped up the movement of my hand on my dick, wanting to join her, forcing my hips back to meet every one of Heero's thrusts.

"Oh God," she cried, her hand digging into my knee, her body trembling against mine, Heero's thrusts becoming stronger as she slumped against me a moment.

Then she did something which completely surprised me. She moved off of Heero and lay down on the bed, stroking his hair as he wiped his mouth across his forearm, leaving him for me to kiss and have all to myself here at the end, and she smiled at me a little, giving me permission. And I realized then, as his hand met my dick and I leaned down to kiss him, that even though it sucks not to be enough for him, if I had to share, I was glad to be sharing with her.

~ Heero ~

It's difficult to be so in love with two completely different people.

And maybe that's why I could never choose between them – because they are so different – I don't know. All I know is that Duo is... Duo is my partner, my friend – the first friend I ever had, in fact. He watches my back, understands me in a way that no one else ever has. Nothing needs to be said between us, he requires no romance, he can take my anger and violence and return it right back. I love him in a deep and physical way that feels like fire in my veins, melting me from the inside every time I look at him.

But Relena… Relena is something completely different. She is the ideals I fought for, that I based my whole life upon, the hope of the people, a light in the dark and I can't escape her. I love her in a way that seems irrational, is too cerebral, but I can't deny it. She is seeped into my brain, she makes me feel light-headed and dizzy and dumb, like a hopeless romantic, and though I tried, I cannot deny it and I cannot control it.

I don't fault either of them any anger they have held towards me over the position that I put them in. This is not what Duo wants – his desire to have me for himself more than apparent in his expression when he thinks no one is watching and the jealousy he displays when he has to leave for any extended period of time. And this is not what Relena needs – a three-way relationship is not ideal for a high-profile politician at her age who should be seeking out a suitable husband. Why they put up with me I will never truly understand but every time we are together I am more thankful for and more impressed by their patience.

It had been a long time since we had seen Relena and I missed the feel of her, the taste of her, the way her body responded to me – soft and yielding, so different than Duo's. I missed the kind way she touched me and how she flushed when I touched her, the sounds she made and the way she shook as she came, her body tightening around my fingers, and I kissed her thighs as she caught her breath, leaning back on Duo. I enjoyed watching him hold her, watching him bury his face in her shoulder blade as I rocked into him, feeling close and ready for it after so much foreplay, knowing that Duo would feel the same and would let me finish hard and fast with him.

She ran her hands through my sweaty hair as Duo kissed me, open mouthed and hot and he slammed his hips back now to meet mine. I knew when he was going to come because I felt his dick swell in my hand and he removed his mouth, tucked his head under my chin, bit down on his lower lip to suppress a groan and I felt him constrict around me, felt his cum hit my torso and felt my stomach clench as my hips jerked upward ineffectually, just creating the necessary friction to finish me off.

I was panting, gratified, wanted him in my arms but Duo rolled off of me quickly and I realized as he did so, Relena's arm lifting to follow for a minute, that they had been holding hands when he came. It was an unusual display of affection for them but I wasn't going to call it out and risk embarrassing them. For a moment we all lay together, breathing returning to normal, sweat-soaked bodies cooling under the overhead fan, Relena curled up against my side, one of my hands stroking her hair as the fingers of the other twisted themselves into the crosses of Duo's braid. He chuckled and rolled onto his side to study me, resting a firm hand on my bicep as he laid his face against my shoulder. I had missed this.

But then Duo was getting up to go to the bathroom and Relena was standing to change and I stood as well, brought her close to me and held her for a minute, kissing her softly and whispering that I loved her in her ear. She blushed and looked up at me, telling me she loved me too, and we kissed again, chaste and gentle and everything I loved about her.

It was one of their rules – that I was never allowed to say that unless we were alone. Duo had told me about them one night, informing me of the ones that involved me so that I wouldn't create any undue tension. At first it had concerned me and I didn't understand – weren't rules just going to make things worse? But they had only seemed to work for the better and I followed them to the best of my ability.

I watched her as she crossed the room to the closet, watched as she stripped out of her nightgown and thought of how I wanted her later, bent over, on her hands and knees with Duo behind me, and I shivered. Patience. We had all night and long into the morning.

Duo glanced up at me in the bathroom mirror when I entered and I wiped myself down with a towel before sliding up behind him, holding him close, the same way I had held Relena, and whispered in his ear that I loved him, just the same. Because I did. And maybe it wasn't the same type of love, but I loved them both with the same intensity. He just smirked and reached back to ruffle my hair and told me he knew. And that was everything I loved about him.

When I returned Relena was changed and sitting on the edge of the bed, unwrapping the box of chocolates Duo had thoughtfully brought for her. Sometimes I felt inadequate in comparison to him – at least in this way. So often he told me when to send her flowers, call, how to romance her while she was away and his advice was invaluable. Even in this he was my friend, helping and supporting me even when it might hurt him.

I slid on a pair of boxers left for me although certain they would be off soon enough, but Relena required a certain amount of modesty, and lay down in the middle of the bed. Duo joined us after a moment and we settled in together, Duo on my right and Relena on my left, just how I always wanted it.

Then she set the box of chocolates on my chest with a smile for my irritation and offered some to Duo, both of us knowing he could never turn down chocolate. He propped himself up on an elbow, taking a piece, a big grin on his face.

"You know, we missed you," he said with a laugh and she looked up at him, mimicking my curiosity. "You're not allowed to be gone for that long again. He starts asking me all kinds of shit I can't answer. Does this blue match that blue and I don't fucking know."

Relena laughed even as I frowned at him.

"I'm not that bad," I argued in my defense, Duo's teasing grin widening much to my irritation.

"Heero," she admonished as she selected another piece of chocolate. "You once showed up here in navy socks with a black suit. And worst of all, I know you know better than that."

I frowned at their shared laughter – it's not like anyone ever sees your socks and I was running late – but she just gave me a coy look as she bit into the piece of chocolate. But immediately her face contorted and she handed it off to Duo – caramel, I'd assume.

"I don't know how you eat those ones," Relena stated with a bit of bemusement as she studied the box for a less offensive choice and Duo just shrugged.

"I'm not too picky, you know, growing up on L2 an' all," he explained though I could tell he was a little embarrassed. "Besides, I was fifteen the first time I ever had chocolate."

It was true I often didn't have luxury items growing up but even I was surprised by that confession. To Relena who grew up surrounded by wealth it must've seemed particularly bizarre.

"It's true," he defended, slipping his braid over his shoulder and fingering it in a way I knew was indicative of his discomfort. "Wasn't til I stayed with Quatre after our illustrious Heero here blew himself to kingdom come that I ever had it. Think poor Q was just trying to cheer me up." His eyes became shy and his face beamed chagrin, fingers falling from his braid, poking instead into my rib cage with an uncomfortable twist. "Sorry, babe, but it did kinda work."

They both laughed but I just rolled my eyes, listening as Relena asked him more about what had happened then, having only had unreliable news feeds at the time, and how he managed it, watching me die. As they shared stories from our pasts – the lengths they went to in order to find me, their separate yet similar fears, what they were willing to sacrifice for peace – I realized that they were not so different and that what we shared was special. Perhaps not orthodox or even the best solution for either of them but then if I had to fall in love with two people I was glad they were the two most patient, caring, and amazing people I could have ever managed to find..