"Oh God, Moritz. The other day, I got so drunk! I passed out in the snow. Just lay there…unconscious, all night!" Isle laughed.
Her lips trembled, her gig almost up. Fortunately, she held her composure. She glanced quickly at Moritz and his trembling hands. She didn't know what was really bothering him, but the last thing she needed was to scare him even more.
The truth was, it was harder to joke about than she let on. When she had awoken from her drunken stupor, barely alive, she was terrified. She looked around, as violently as she could muster, to look for the group she had been with, but saw no one.
She slowly got up, her whole body numb from laying in the cold, icy snow. "Not again," she whispered.
Her eyes filled with tears as she began slowly walking. She didn't know where she was going, let alone how she was even still alive. The tears trickled down her icy face. They stung as they slid down her cheeks, but she couldn't have cared less.
"Not again," she hoarsely cried. Truth was, she should have been used to this by now. Abandonment. It shouldn't surprise her anymore, or break her heart, but unfortunately…it did.
She wrapped her arms around her body and closed her eyes, her feet barely moving. "God, damnit." One hand came up to wipe the tears off her face, but it was if they had frozen to her face.
She looked down at her purple and blue feet. Surely, she thought, they will fall off any moment. Secretly, she hoped they would too. She would be able to burrow herself in the snow, and hide for all eternity. She was certain, she knew, no one would be worried enough to come find her. Death would come and go, taking her away and leaving no mess behind.
She bitterly smiled as she walked. She remembered long ago, when her and her old friends would all dress up and play pirates with wooden play swords and black hats. She felt like a real pirate now. Staring death in the eyes with no fear.
She looked down to the ground and watched her numb feet move back and forth. Her mind went numb to accompany her feet.
Suddenly, she ran into someone. He had been carrying a load in his arms that fell to the ground. "Watch where you are going!" He snarled at her.
She looked up at him. His young face had prematurely aged. She didn't say a word.
He narrowed his eyes. "Where are you running off to, doll?"
She shrugged. "Don't know. I guess wherever my feet take me."
He bent down to pick up what looked like art supplies. She watched him as he stood up.
He slowly smirked down at her, his eyes still narrow. "Come with me, princess, why don't you?"
Ilse sighed and closed her eyes. The circle never ended. But then again, what other choice did she have? She nodded and followed him.
She shook her head, expelling the memory. She smiled back at the young Moritz Stiefel, her mask firmly back in place.
"Then, I spent an entire week with Gustav Baum…"