"Is it me or has nothing interesting happened since Princess Twilight Sparkle became an Alicorn?" a bored guard said. He and his companion were standing directly in front of Canterlot Castle's entrance.
"I could care less," the other guard said. "It just means less work to do. We're basically getting paid for nothing, now."
"That is a true statement," the first guard said. He began to chuckle until he noticed a bipedal figure with a large sword on its back limping toward them. "What on earth is that!?" Both guards were petrified. As it got closer they noticed is was a dirty-blonde human male wearing a brown, blood-stained shirt with denim pants. Both of them ran toward the human, but once the got up to him, he collapsed onto the floor.
"H... help..." he stuttered, his face imbedded in the ground.
"Why are you covered in blood?" the second guard asked. "Answer that and we just might."
"It's..." the human coughed blood onto the pavement before he continued, "all mine."
"This human need urgent medical attention!" the first guard cried. "Get him into the infirmary!"
The human opened his eyes and sat up in the bed. Involuntarily, he clapped his hands to his stomach once he did so. "Sweet backflipping midgets, that hurts!" he shouted, obviously in a great deal of pain. An equal amount of pain was present on the exact opposite side of his body as well. "Someone must've run me through or something. These wounds hurt like a discus to the face!"
"It's good to see that you're awake," a feminine voice said behind him. The human turned around to see Princess Celestia standing in the doorway. "You had passed out from blood loss when you were brought here."
"I was?" he questioned. "I must have ticked off a narwal or something."
"You mean you don't remember what happened?" Princess Celestia asked, puzzled.
"Uh... nope," he said, somewhat disappointed in himself. "You got a name, sweet cheeks?"
"I am Princess Celestia of Equestria," she replied. 'Sweet cheeks?' her mind echoed. 'I've never heard anyone call somepony that before.'
"Nice to meet you, Your Highness," the human replied. "I'm Xander."
"There is no need to refer to me in such a formal way," she said to Xander. "Just call me Celestia, Princess Celestia at the most."
"Would Sally do?" he asked her. "I have trouble remembering unique names."
"I... I guess so," Celestia replied. 'Sally? This is quite a strange human, indeed.'
The human made an effort to stand up, but nearly collapsed upon doing so. "Are you alright!?" Celestia exclaimed.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine," he replied, lifting himself back onto his feet.
"You should lie down and get some rest," Celestia said, trying to encourage Xander into getting back into the bed.
"Nonsense," Xander retorted. "I won't get better if I don't walk it off."
"Very well," the princess replied. "Well, would you like me to escort you to the dining hall?"
"Yes, please," Xander replied. "Thanks, Sal."
"My pleasure," she replied. And with that they were off.