Introduction (As narrated by Chris McLean)
Last season on Total Drama, since the ratings went down the toilet after World Tour, the producers and I introduced a new competitor, a teenage cancer survivor named John Swarner. The eighteen contestants were told that they'd be spending the season on a cruise ship, what they didn't know is that they were actually going to be shipwrecked on a deserted island in virtual reality. Over the thirty six hellish days that followed since the season began; they had nothing to eat but bananas and beans, were chased by a crazy shotgun wielding gorilla, Owen destroyed an entire section of the ship with his perpetual farting, and when Courtney finally snapped John punched her in the face and showed her his hideous surgical scars so she could see that her life could be a hell of a lot worse.
On the thirty sixth day it was revealed that in order for the campers to escape the island they had to find the magical Buff of Life. One by one they began to fall to the tricks and traps that the producers and I had made for them. When they finally made it to the Chamber of Life they found their old friend Alejandro waiting for them as the final boss. John fought and epic battle with Alejandro, but lost because the later cheated. Cody sliced Al in half, but the game had been rigged so that Heather would become the new boss. Gwen, Courtney, Lindsay, Beth, and Owen all joined forces to take Heather down, and though they all touched the Buff of Life at the same time it was then revealed that it didn't matter who touched it and who didn't, and that the season's winner would be decided by their loyal fans based on how well they thought the campers played the game. In the end the person they loved most was John, and much to my delight the ratings skyrocketed!
That was one heck of a season, and if I have anything to say about, this one will be even better. Fortunately… I do.
What do we have in store for your favorite twenty campers this time? Find out right here on TOTAL… DRAMA… HALO!
Sierra had tried her hardest to figure out what Chris had planned for the new season, but just like last time they were playing hardball. Chris must've been changing his passwords hourly because she had tried everything she could think of and still couldn't find a way into any of his files.
"Oh well… I guess it'll just have to figure it out as I go… This is so exciting!"
"Sierra… You're early." said Bridgette as she and Geoff arrived.
"You know me, I just couldn't wait! I'm so excited!"
One by one the other campers began to arrive.
"COOOODEEEEEE!" exclaimed Sierra tackling him to the ground and nearly breaking him in half.
"Nice to see you too Sierra."
"Hey everybody! It's John!" said Owen.
John stuck out like a sore thumb. We wore an outfit that made him look like a superhero, but the reason for this was to hide his surgical scars. He had previously told the other campers that he was originally just going to make a helmet to hide the ones on his face, but then he figured he'd might as well make a whole costume. Courtney winced as he approached.
"Welcome back dude." said Geoff.
"So how was Italy?" asked Gwen.
"E 'stato molto impressionante. So many churches filled with renaissance art, and the food is mighty good. How was your vacation in Tahiti?"
"Can't complain."
"Well look what the cat dragged in… It's old Scarface."
"Oh no… Please tell me that's not who I think it is…" said Heather.
Alejandro had arrived.
"So… at last we meet like the last time for the first time." said John.
"What?"
"He's trying to be funny." whispered Cody.
"How the hell did you get a spot in this season?" asked Heather.
"I was about to ask you the same question."
Sierra's log
"It's obvious why they brought John back, but Heather and Alejandro? I guess they don't call it Total Drama for nothing."
Gwen's log
"I have a feeling this is going to be a very long season. The only reason I'm back is because I've come in second twice, maybe this time I'll get lucky and win."
"So tell me Scarface, what brings you back this season? Not satisfied with getting your butt kicked once?"
"You only won that fight because you cheated."
"But I did win, and that's all that matters."
"Then you clearly didn't pay attention last season, because all that mattered was who the fans voted for."
Alejandro's log
"So what? If I know Chris there's no way he'll do the same thing two seasons in a row. Once I take care of Scarface the rest will be easy picking."
Much to everyone's surprise Ezekiel had earned a spot in the season as well. He was delivered to them with a shock collar around his neck. Apparently he hadn't fully recovered from his experience in season 3. Suddenly the ground began rumble.
"What's happening? Is it an earthquake?"
"Worse…"
Someone came stomping toward the campers.
"What? Not her! Anyone but her!"
"You're fronting me!" said Leshawna.
"It's Elicia… Emmy… Erol… what was her name again?" asked Lindsay.
"Eva!"
"That's right, I'm back. And I'm going to kick your butts from here to Pluto and back!"
"You can try." said John ready to draw one of the swords on his back.
"Is that a challenge? There are easier ways to die."
"Yeah, like yelling at the guy who's got two katana swords. I may be a Catholic, but if you touch me or my friends, I'm gonna cut your arms off."
Bridgette's log
"According to Sierra, Eva ripped a metal pipe in half with her teeth. I thought John was dead."
"I'll say this for you, you've got guts… You're going to need them."
Soon the campers got impatient waiting for their least favorite person on earth to arrive.
"Are we all present?"
"Let's see… Me… Cody… John… Owen… Izzy… Gwen… Courtney… Alejandro… Duncan… Trent… Eva… Gwen… Heather… Harold… Tyler… Lindsay… Leshawna… Geoff… Ezekiel… Beth… and Bridgette… That's everyone." said Sierra.
"So where the heck is Chris at?" asked Trent.
"It's four o'clock in the afternoon, and Chris always gets a latte at four o'clock during seasons. I estimate he'll be here in about… ten minutes."
Sure enough a big bus with a familiar face painted on it came up the street a few minutes later.
"Hello campers! Are you ready for what is sure to be the biggest season of Total Drama yet?"
"You know it!" said Owen.
"Let's get this over with." said Duncan.
After they got on the bus they just seemed to drive aimlessly for the next twenty minutes or so. Some of the campers felt tempted to ask Chris where they were going, but they feared they might not like the answer at all.
"John, all my blog readers want to know… how's your love life?" asked Sierra.
"About as well as you'd expect. I saw this one cute looking girl in Rome, but she took one look at my scars and ran."
"Well… How do you feel about… Courtney?" she whispered.
"What?"
"Some people think that despite the fact that you punched her in the face and practically scared her to death, she might actually be falling for you. Stranger things have happened."
"I don't think she's my type."
"Because she's proven she can be a royal pain in the neck?"
"Actually I was referring to the fact that I prefer women with longer hair."
Suddenly the bus came to grinding halt.
"All campers please exit the bus for debriefing."
They were inside and old warehouse and were standing in front of a strange looking machine.
"I'll bet you're all wondering what the theme of this season is… The producers and I have been hard at work coming up with something that will keep the ratings high so… the theme this season is the game that made the Xbox!"
"The game that made the Xbox? What are you talking about?" asked Courtney.
"Wait a minute… do you mean…"
"Yes Harold I do. I hope you're ready to fight some aliens, because this is Total Drama Halo! And we're going to be Spartans!"
Cody's log
"Seriously? I've been a Halo veteran since the very beginning!"
Harold's log
"Radical! This season is so perfect for my skills!"
Owen's log
"THIS IS SO AWESOME! OH WOW! WE'RE GONNA BE SPARTANS!"
John's log
"Any remote chance Alejandro had of winning is about to go flying out the window."
"I know you're all anxious to get this show on the road, but first we need to get you into your uniforms."
"What uniforms?" asked Beth.
"Spartans might be tough, but they wouldn't have lasted long in the war without their MJOLNIR Powered Assault Armor. So before we do anything else you all need to use this machine to make your own suit of customized armor using permutations from Halo Reach, yours to take home at the end of the season. Since John won last season, he may make his suit first. You play a lot of Halo bro?"
"I could beat you in a match with my eyes closed and holding the controller upside down."
John walked up to the machine and in no time at all had his armor selected.
"Now please step into the capsule and it will do the rest."
John stepped inside the capsule, and moments later came out wearing a full suit of armor.
"That is so awesome!" said Izzy.
"Dude! You're like a real Spartan!" said Cody.
"And since you won last season we gave your suit something special." said Chris "Just snap your fingers and find out."
John snapped his fingers and all the girls screamed.
"You're on fire!"
"Relax ladies, it's just a hologram."
John looked at himself in the mirror.
"Blue flames! Sweet!"
When Duncan's turn came the boys weren't surprised that he had chosen a Eva[C] helmet.
Duncan's log
(Looking at himself in mirror)
"Normally I don't like this show… But I could get used to this."
"Behold! The Zekinator!" said Ezekiel as he came out of the capsule in his own armor.
"Did he seriously just say Zekinator?" asked Gwen.
Eventually everyone was outfitted in their own armor.
"This is so cool!" said Cody admiring himself.
"Are you nuts?" asked Courtney taking off her helmet "You can't breathe in these things, and I feel ridiculous."
"Tough cookies." said Chris "In order to escape instant elimination this season, all contestants must keep their helmets on at all times during a combat challenge."
"Why?"
"Harold…"
"Because Master Chief never removes his helmet… And if he does then we never see his face."
"That is absolutely correct, now it's time to get the ball rolling."
Chris pulled out some kind of remote and pressed a button. Suddenly the whole room was filled with gas. When it cleared only Chris and Chef were still standing.
"Tell me again why we knocked them out?" asked Chef.
"Because I don't think they'll go along with the next part willingly."