It's spring break and I kind of got bored. So, I made this list. Hope you like it. The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

What I will not say to the Twilight characters

I will not call Edward a senior citizen.

I will not call Jacob a poodle.

I will not give Jacob flea spray, nor remind him of the appointment last week.

I will not play Spin the Bottle in the Cullen household.

I will not ask Emmet if he's on steroids.

I will not call Bella 'physically retarded'.

I will not scream, "WHEEE!" whenever any of the Cullens drive or run.

I will not call Alice a dwarf.

I will not tell Jasper that Mike has a crush on him.

I will not call Rosalie an idiot or a #$#&.

I will not make Bella walk a runway with stiletto heels.

I will not tell Edward that Bella went bungee jumping with Mike.

I will not give the Cullens speeding tickets if I catch them.

I will not tell Aro that Marcus has liked him ever since they met.

I will not ask Esme if her dead baby looked like Edward.

I will not ask Rosalie if she plans to take over for Professor McGonagall.

I will not ask the Cullens that if they like heat so much, why don't they just buy a portable heater?

I will not scream "Avada Kadavera!" and expect a response.

I will not pay Death Eaters to kill Bella just to see Edward's reaction in that.

I will not expect the Cullens to be able to speak Parsletonge.

I will not threaten to send the Volturri to Azkaban.

I will not tell the Cullens that they look awfully like bubbleheads.

I will not call Bella an 'ugly'.

I will not tell my teachers that Jacob ate my homework.

I will not tell Rosalie that if she wants a baby, maybe she should adopt?

I will not call Angela a witch and ask if she wants to join the party.

I will not ask Edward if he could hoverboard.

I will not ask why the door is always locked in Rosalie and Emmet's room.

I will not break the gigantic window in the Cullen house with a single baseball.

I will not ask the Cullens if they think that they're related to Dracula.

I will not ask Bella if she ever met that guy in Smallville.

I will not blame Jacob for drooling all over my homework.

I will not call the Cullens cannibals.

I will not attempt to sell a wand to any of the characters.

I will not call the Cullens zombies.

I will not ask Jasper if he ever tried Stir-fried Human before.

I will not call Jasper a cross dresser.

I will not call paint Emmet's car pink and Barbie-fy it.

I will not ask if Rosalie's related to Medusa.

I will not try to ward off Carlisle with garlic.

I will not try to pound a stake into Esme's heart.

I will not tell Emmet that Rosalie is older than him in vampire years.

I will not ask how many vampire years are in a dog year.

I will not tell the Cullens that Eragon wants his sword back.

I will not persuade Rosalie that she is part veela.

I will not give Alice a liberal amount of coffee.

I will not make Bella do drugs.

I will not make Bella drunk just to see what she does.

I will not wait until Bella cuts herself on a piece of glass and then declare, "YOU'RE EMO!"

I will not call Bella the blondest brunet I have ever seen.

I will not call Bella Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc.

I will not call Alice Luna Lovegood.

I will not make the Cullens play 20Q.

I will not make the Cullens watch or read Twilight in fear that they might go berserk.

I will not mention Eric in any of this. Crap, I just did.

I will not ask Bella if she is a relative of Hitler.

I will not push Rosalie to burn all of Bella's clothes.

I will not attempt to kill Edward.

I will not skip Charlie's funeral.

I will not tell Charlie that his daughter is going out with a vampire, and that they're about to get married.

I will not ask Alice why she can't see into the future just to see what the next fads are?

I will not tell Rosalie that Emmet dumped her and is secretly going out with Jessica.

I will not write anymore until I can actually get a good idea.

Review please! This is a very sad attempt of me being funny... :(