Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I'm just using them.

This is dedicated to my Aunt who gave me the idea and the ninja chipmunk in the garage who avoids all the traps.

Kakashi sipped his glass of brandy slowly. It had been a very long day and he really wanted to erase it from his memory. Kakashi sighed and leaned back against his headrest. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he heard Gai walking up to his front door. Kakashi pulled up his mask and put down his glass. Gai dodged the traps that were set up and walked right into Kakashi's bedroom.

"I heard you've had a rough day." Gai said pouring himself a glass with a big smile on his face. Kakashi groaned and threw a pillow at Gai, who caught it easily.

"Not you too Gai, go bother Naruto about the story if that's what your after." Kakashi said turning on his side so he wasn't facing Gai. Gai sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder.

"I'd rather hear it from you." Gai said pulling Kakashi onto his back and making Kakashi face him. Kakashi pulled down his mask with a resigned sigh and took a drink of brandy.

"Fine, but I'll kill you if this goes any farther than the front door." Kakashi threatened in such a quiet voice that Gai knew that Kakashi was serious. Gai nodded and Kakashi began his story.

Earlier that day…

Kakashi sat on a low branch and watched his team practice. Naruto and Sasuke were both working on their chakra control and Sakura was sharpening her weapons. Kakashi stretched, cracking his back in several places and catching the attention of his team, who had no idea that he had been sitting there for several minutes.

"You're late again." Sasuke growled as Kakashi shrugged and Naruto rolled his eyes. "What lame excuse do you have for us today?"

"I was on an A ranked mission and I got home late last night. Iruka caught me as I left the Mission Office because my other report was "damaged" somehow." Kakashi said in a serious tone, not really in the mood to deal with Sasuke's attitude. Sasuke stared at him for a moment and then shrugged. He leaned against a tree and waited. "We are going to work on summoning today and I know that Jiraiya taught you to summon Naruto. Do the beasts you summon always do what you want though?"

Naruto, who had been jumping around, stopped and thought about it for a moment. He shook his head and sighed. Sasuke and Sakura were both interested now and they were both watching Kakashi.

"Are you going to summon your dogs Kakashi?" Sakura asked remembering Pakkun, Kakashi's smallest ninja dog. Pakkun was a pug and he liked to bite people. "They were so strong."

"No I'm not going to summon my dogs. Let me finish. I'm also going to show you how to decide what type of beast you are going to summon." Kakashi said with a grin. "You may be surprised at the range of beasts that can be used for summoning."

"What is your strangest beast Kakashi-sensei? Will you show us?" Naruto asked becoming excited. Kakashi sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, I'll show you and just some advice, do NOT laugh at him. He is very sensitive to people laughing at him. I won't control him if he gets mad at you and decides to attack you." Kakashi said as Sasuke and Sakura both came to stand next to Naruto. Kakashi backed away from them a little ways and pulled out a summoning scroll. He nipped his finger and smeared the blood on the scroll. Kakashi made the hand signs quickly and there was a poof of smoke.

As the smoke cleared, everyone looked around surprised. They couldn't see anything standing before them and then they looked at Kakashi. All three of them just stared at him with amused expressions on their faces. On his shoulder sat a chipmunk in a Jounin's vest with a Leaf Village headband around his neck. The chipmunk held a spear in his paws and there were two strapped to his back.

"This is Masaru. He is a spy and an assassin." Kakashi explained as Masaru placed the third spear back in its holder on his back. "Masaru these are my students, Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto."

Masaru looked at Kakashi and then looked over each of them with a calculating eye. They stared right back at him with curiosity. Masaru turned and glared at Kakashi before whipping out the spear he had just put away and stabbing Kakashi hard in the shoulder. Kakashi winced as the spear hit a pressure point but said nothing.

"You summoned me to show off to your students like your stupid mutts? What was going through your head Kakashi? I'm NOT a plaything….moron." Masaru muttered twisting the spear viciously. Kakashi sighed and picked Masaru up by the back of his vest; holding him at eye level while he pulled the spear out of his shoulder. "PUT ME DOWN!"

"Behave yourself. I didn't summon you to show off; I summoned you so you could tell them about your missions and your skills." Kakashi said resting a finger on the top of Masaru's head and rubbing gently. "Now calm down and tell them."

Masaru seemed to calm slightly at the rubbing, but remembered that there were others around and bit Kakashi's finger viciously. In return, Kakashi flicked him on the nose, earning a frustrated squeak from Masaru. Kakashi lifted the bleeding finger up and gave Masaru a glare. "I said to behave yourself, Masaru."

Through the entire argument, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto were trying to hold in their laughter, but they couldn't. Masaru let out a squeak of outrage and slipped from his Jounin's vest. Kakashi let out a sigh and looked over at his students; Masaru had disappeared into the grass. Sakura was the first to stop laughing and look around for Masaru.

"I warned you." Was all that Kakashi said as he leapt up onto a low branch in the nearest tree. Sasuke and Naruto were still laughing when Sasuke felt something sharp dig into his ankle. He flinched but when he looked down, he saw nothing. Naruto saw the grass parting at an alarming rate and he saw a small flash of silver. Naruto winced and leaned down to pull a miniature kunai knife out of his leg. Sasuke pulled one out of his leg as well.

"What the hell is going on?" Sasuke growled as Sakura let out a yelp of pain. She jumped up the same branch as Kakashi and looked around. Kakashi pulled out his book and leaned back against the trunk of the tree. He rolled his eye and ignored his team.

"I warned you not to laugh." Kakashi said turning to the next page. "Now you have to deal with Masaru's temper. I'm pretty sure he won't kill you, but you aren't going to like what he does."

"What will he do?" Sakura asked dodging one on Masaru's spears that came out of the high grass. It lodged itself in the branch beside Kakashi's foot, which made Kakashi look up from his book. Kakashi picked it up and sniffed the end that was slightly bent from the branch.

"Masaru, watch your aim. I didn't do anything to you." Kakashi said flicking the spear back in the direction it came from. "And Sakura, to answer your question, I'm pretty sure that he has already gotten all of you back already."

"He poked us with tiny weapons, how much damage could he have done with that?" Naruto asked from the branch he was now sitting on with an irritated Sasuke. Sasuke caught the spear that had been aimed at him and sniffed the tip like he had seen Kakashi do. He couldn't sense anything off about the miniature weapon. Instead of flicking the weapon away, Sasuke put the spear in his pocket.

"Masaru is an assassin; he uses poison and other useful drugs. All of his weapons are coated." Kakashi said reaching down and catching Masaru by the scruff of his neck as he was trying to stab Kakashi with his last spear. Masaru chattered his teeth at Kakashi angrily, who took the spear from him. Kakashi flicked him hard on the nose this time. "I told you to stop."

Masaru stopped chattering at Kakashi and reached up to rub his nose with a paw. Kakashi opened the pocket closest to his left shoulder and dropped Masaru into the pocket. Kakashi could feel him curling up in his pocket and he let out a small sigh of relief that Masaru was calming down.

"Kakashi-sensei, my leg is going numb." Naruto said rubbing the spot that Masaru had hit. Sasuke and Sakura were rubbing the small wounds as well. Kakashi sighed before summoning Pakkun.

"Pakkun, please go get a medic. They laughed at Masaru and he got them back." Kakashi said rubbing the bridge of his nose. Pakkun shook his head before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. "You're lucky that it's only a minor poison and that you'll only be sick for a little while."

"If the poison won't hurt us, then why did you send Pakkun to get a medic? And why aren't you being affected by the poison?" Sakura asked staring at Kakashi. "Masaru stabbed you in the shoulder earlier Sensei."

"The spear Masaru stabbed me with was poisoned, but it was different from the one he got you with. I'm channeling my chakra through my body to stop the effects of the poison for now." Kakashi said reaching up to rub at the spot gently. "Believe me when I say that I will pay for it later."

The medic showed up a minute later and decided to bring Squad Three to the hospital. Kakashi automatically tried to get out of going, but was dragged there by the very determined medic. At the hospital, Squad Three was processed and given antidotes right away, but Kakashi still stubbornly refused to be treated.

"I don't need to stay here overnight." Kakashi argued as the medic pushed him back onto the gurney. Another medic came over with a set of restraints and Kakashi bolted off the gurney. He made it about ten feet before he felt the poison starting to work its way past the chi he was channeling. He was forced to use the wall for balance as his left leg went numb but kept moving despite the medics protests. Kakashi made it around the next corner and ran right into Tsunade.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Tsunade asked a deceptively calm voice. Kakashi took a step backwards and his legs gave out completely. He landed on his left shoulder, automatically wincing as Masaru reacted with his normal violence level; meaning he was getting bitten repeatedly. Masaru wiggled out of the pocket and turned to face Kakashi, whose face was pressed to the floor.

"You big oaf! What the hell is wrong with you?" Masaru shouted completely ignoring the stares he was getting. Before he could take his temper out on Kakashi some more, Tsunade picked Masaru up and glared at him.

"To answer your question, there's a lot wrong with him." Tsunade said motioning to the medics to pick the paralyzed ninja at her feet up. "But the reason he fell on you, is because you poisoned him and he refused to get treatment. I think it's time for you to go Masaru."

Masaru glanced at Kakashi once before nodding to Tsunade and disappearing in a cloud of smoke. For the next four hours, Kakashi was strapped down to the bed and given the proper antidote. When he was able to move his body without pain, he made a hasty exit from the hospital; heading directly home and booby trapping his house.

Present time…

"Well, at least your team knows better than to underestimate an opponent simply because of their size now." Gai said with a grin. Kakashi groaned and curled back up on his side. He shifted so his left eye was buried in his pillow and closed his right eye. Gai shook his head and put the brandy and glasses away before covering Kakashi up with the blanket at the foot of the bed. "Get some sleep my friend. After today, you need it."

As Gai left the house he was sure he heard a muffled "thanks" from the exhausted man buried beneath the blankets.

END

Well, that was fun. Like I said before, this story was inspired by the ninja like moves the chipmunk in our garage always seems to pull off.

Reviews are always welcome!