I Wish You Knew
He sat there, thinking of how his letter would go… How the letter to the love of his life was to truly know how he felt before he left for good.
So he put his pen to the paper and let the words flow from him mind to his hand to the paper:
Wufei,
I so desperately wish you knew, Wufei. How every single time I saw you, my heart broke a little more…And my sanity was lost a little more. Oh how I wish you knew.
Would it change anything if you did know? Would you love me back? Or would you laugh at me? Pound my heart into the dirt?
I tried to show you how much I cared… I really did. It probably just annoyed the hell out of you. Even after I tried to show you so many times, you remained as ignorant of my feelings as always… Well I guess you know now. Now I don't have to wish anymore for you do know now.
Will this make you happy? To know that I pinned after you for so long? To know that you were the one that broke me? Are you happy now?
I hope you live happily with the memory of my false smiles…of my laughs filled with false cheer… And remember how much I love you…
I Love You Wufei,
Duo
There it was done, he could leave in peace… knowing that he has conveyed his message to his specifications.
Sighing, Duo put the notepad down on the desk and pulled open the drawer. And in there rested his baby, gleaming in the dim lighting of his room in the safe house. Fully prepared to carry this out, he pulled the gun from the drawer and placed it to his temple.
So deep in concentration, Duo did not notice the door opening. Just as he pulled the trigger, a hand clamped around his and pulled up. The bullet missed its intended target and imbedded itself in the wall.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?" the furious voice of the intruder asked.
Shoving his chair back, he knocked the person off balance. Duo turned to see the one person he did not want to see, standing there.
With tears in his eyes, he looked at Wufei and yelled, "IS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU HAVE MY HEART? IS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT I LOVE YOU? DO YOU HAVE TO STOP ME FROM AT LEAST GETTING SOME PEACE?"
"W-What are you talking about? How could you get peace from this?" Wufei whispered.
"I WAS GOING TO BE HAPPY! AT LEAST IF I DIED YOU WOULD REMEMBER ME AND NOT LOOK THE OTHER WAY AND PRETEND I DIDN'T EXIST! I WOULD HAVE BEEN AT PEACE WITHOUT THE LOVE I FEEL FOR YOU WRIPPING AT MY HEART! IT IS KILLING ME THAT YOU WILL NEVER FEEL FOR ME THE WAY I FEEL FOR YOU! THIS IS ALL FOR YOU!" and with that Duo put the gun at his temple and pulled the trigger.
"NO!" Wufei yelled and Duo's body fell to the ground.
Wufei crawled over to the fallen body of his partner. He pulled the lifeless body into to his lap and cradled the body to his chest. Then he let the tears fall.
"You are so stupid!" Wufei sobbed. "You never gave me a chance to talk! I loved you too! YOU NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE!"
As he finished his statement, the other pilots charged into the room after hearing the gun shot. They found Wufei holding a motionless Duo to his chest and sobbing.
"No… Tell me he isn't…" Quatre asked as his voice quivered.
Wufei looked up at him, broken and said, "It's my fault… He died because he loved me! And he never gave me a chance…" Then, in the blink of an eye, Wufei grabbed the gun from the floor, placed it to his temple and said, "I'm coming my love." Then he pulled the trigger but it missed just as Duo's had.
"Don't you dare!" the cold voice of Heero Yuy spat from behind him while holding his hand tightly.
Wufei looked up into Heero's fierce glare and sobbed, "He died because of me… If only I would have let him know… If only I knew… Please kill me Heero…"
"No… it's not what he would have wanted and you know that. He would have wanted you to live on and remember him for who he was. He knows you love him now," Heero said, "Live on for him. You'll be with him again someday Wufei…"
At the funeral, all the pilots spoke. They spoke of Duo's unfaltering enthusiasm and his love for life. Even as they cried below, the spirit of a violet-eyed boy watched from above with a smile on his face. He knew that he as loved by his love. Even if he was miserable in life, he was happy in death. He and Wufei would be together again, just as Heero had said. And the joining on their spirits would make the gods envy them.
END