He's Such a Coward He Can Laugh

A/N: This fanfiction is based on the Japanese sub of the anime, not the manga (or the dub). Though I mention Izaya's sisters (who only appear in the manga and briefly in episode 25), I haven't really read the manga, so forgive any inconsistencies that appear as a result. I also include some Japanese name suffixes, and in case you are not familiar: -san, a term of respect or addressing someone older; like mr. or miss. -chan, addressing an equal on good terms, perceived as passive. Alternatively used to describe something cute or girly. -kun, addressing an equal or someone younger, perceived as aggressive. No suffix, intimately familiar like immediate family or lovers. Alternatively a grave insult. I do this to show that Izaya often uses inappropriate familiarity when he speaks to people. This particular introduction is rated T/PG-13 for swears and a teeny bit of lime in the preview, but WILL BECOME RATED M NEXT CHAPTER AND ON. Specifically for: M/M lemon, HJ (hand job), Oral, Anal, RR (role reversal), Narc (drug reference and use), N/C (non-consensual), Minor2 (sex between people under the age of 18, over the age of 14), Violence, Language (many, many f-bombs) and even a bit of Cyber. Oh yeah, I don't own these guys, nor do I make money off this. *sighs...* -_-; Enjoy!

He's Such a Coward He Can Laugh

Chapter One

An Introduction

(((Heiwajima Shizuo)))

I couldn't decide if I wanted to beat him to death with my fists or rape that smirk right off of his face.

Ugh. Just thinking about that pest makes me want to chuck the first vending machine I see all the way to Shinjuku, or wherever he likes to skulk about, doing dirty business for god knows what reasons.

Orihara Izaya.

I guess I was in a reminiscent mood this morning in the shower, because the bastard invaded my thoughts like a freight train, and wouldn't go away. Ever since I saw him back in Ikebukuro playing what could be none other than head-games with those high-schoolers from Raira, that rage overtook me again, and even though it had subsided enough to not destroy everything in my path, it still bubbled and boiled in my gut.

Just remembering those days brought heat to my face; made me tremble; made me swell up from rage and desire. Hatred and longing – what a strange combination. It pissed me right the fuck off every time I thought about how I just played right into his hands, and whenever I see him messing with someone else the same way, it makes me even angrier. If only it had been obvious that he was a manipulative fiend, but no, a hummingbird couldn't catch him at work. When he acted sincere, you actually thought he meant it. Sarcastic wit was the jam to the havoc and mayhem that was his bread and butter.

I guess that's what allowed me to fall into his trap in the first place.

Raira was a prestigious school, so I wasn't really surprised that Shinra got in too. I wasn't really surprised at his pestering to examine me in some way, shape or form either; he'd been doing it ever since I'd lifted that fridge to throw at Kasuka and nearly snapped my neck in two.

Shinra didn't know I'd already met my nemesis by the time he'd introduced us. Far more than met.

"37, 54, 12... dammit..." I muttered.

"... but seriously, I've been thinking about the massive amount of damage you've sustained over the years. Think about it, Shizuo-kun!" Shinra was babbling. "Any other person would be permanently crippled by now! Aren't you in the least bit interested how your body can take that kind of punishment?"

I wasn't really listening. "37, 54, 12... fuck!" I cursed, biting my lip. No, don't get angry here, not a stupid locker... the school would charge my parents money for damages, and they'd already had enough of that from middle-school. Not on the first day here...

"I mean... you broke my arm four years ago and it still aches when it rains..." Shinra continued. I was grateful when his cell phone busted out with the Friday the 13th theme. "Oh? Hang on, Shizuo-kun, it's Celty. I gotta take this. … Hello? … No, I haven't seen my uncle in a long time..." He of course, wandered off, leaving me in a puddle of frustration at the goddamn locker!

"37... 54 ...12... MOTHER FF–!" I raised my fist.

"Need some help?"

There he was, leaning against the locker next to mine, wearing a sympathetic smirk. Everything about him screamed "rebellion." His outfit, his posture, his expression... for a second I just stared he was so out of place.

"There's a trick to it, you know," the guy said unprompted. He spun my lock deftly, gave the locker a light tap in the bottom corner with his shoe and the damn thing popped right open. "You'll get used to it, I'm sure."

It took me a moment to reorient myself, but the moment quickly passed and I began to unload my books into the tiny metal compartment. "Where's your uniform?" I finally asked.

The boy laughed. "What an interesting opening! I think I like you already. I'm home-schooled, I only come here for exams and certain extracurricular activities."

"Home schooling is for retards and trouble-makers," I shot at him.

"I guess I would be a trouble-maker, then! They didn't like me in middle-school." Smile, smile, smile. Something about him was fascinating at the time. I could not take my eyes away from him. I didn't know why. "Ah! Where are my manners. My name is Orihara Izaya."

"Heiwajima Shizuo," I replied, shaking his hand slowly. He wore a ring on his index finger on both hands. Curiosity was building. Why would this delinquent take such an interest in me?

"Oh! You're the one who rips up road signs and bashes them over people's heads, right?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Ah. Well, that must be irritating."

"What?"

"Being known for something you can't control... something you hate."

I looked him right in the eye – he was being serious. How...? I'd just met him two minutes ago and... "Izaya-san..."

His cell phone came to life, the theme to some cheesy popular anime at the time. It sounded cheesy anyway. I wondered if he had set it to sound like that on purpose. "Yo. Oh, right, I'll be right there. No, I didn't forget, do I ever? Haha. I should be done by noon, you'll have the goods, right? Good, good. See you then. Peace." He winked at me. "Gotta jet, Shizu-chan! It was nice meeting you. I'm sure we'll see each other again."

And he was gone.

At that first meeting, sex had been the last thing on my mind. I was still trying to figure out the female orgasm, like most sixteen-year-olds, so my sexual identity hadn't fully coalesced yet.

I suppose Izaya would be the reason I'd sworn off men forever anyway. I guess it was for the best, even though he was the one that had broken the damaging spell that rage had upon my body.

Our next meeting wasn't so docile.

**end chapter one**

**Preview: Chapter Two: The Ninth Floor**

I sort of backed up a step and blinked, feeling the heat rush to my face. No mistaking it. He was definitely coming onto me, and I had unwittingly stepped into his lair. Well... unwittingly wasn't exactly the right word I suppose. I'd suspected, ever since I saw him observing me from the second floor walking into Raira. And in a giddy sort of stupor, unsure of just what I was getting myself into, I'd complacently walked right into his eager hands.

The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. At the time it was exhilarating.

"Wh...what do you mean by that?" I stammered stupidly.

He pressed in close, barely an inch from my face, leaning against the wall behind me with a hungry look on his face. I was taller than him by several inches, but he seemed to loom in an eerily evil way, as if he were a predator. I suddenly found myself in the position of prey, which was a startlingly new experience. I was Heiwajima Shizuo! I kicked the shit out of people twice my size in droves. I don't go down without a fight. I don't go down period. The only thing I lacked control over was this rage that struck out of nowhere on its own accord. How did I end up in such a submissive position?

"What do you think I mean by that?" I trembled with my feet frozen to the spot, hand gripping the strap to my bag so hard it ached as his lips brushed my neck, his breath tickling my ear ever so slightly. He was testing me. Testing my reaction? Had to be. "Something wrong, Shizu-chan?" he whispered silkily.

**end preview**