Sharp air seeped into the shitmobile, flowing through every hole and every missing car door. It hovered for a while, taunting it's victim by freezing the air around him, before sinking into his skin.
"It's too fucking cold for this, man." Ricky muttered to no one but himself, precious body heat escaping and forming clouds of smoke as the words left his mouth.
Each inhale cut his lungs.
Each second the convulsions increased in intensity.
Each minute dragged on into an infinity.
The cold stretched on forever, everything was the cold. His hands become numb, his head became dizzy, his skin became blue, his chest wouldn't move-
"Fuck this man, I'm fucking done with this shit."
And he pulled himself up out of the shitmobile, burrowing his face into his track jacket in a futile attempt to shield himself from the shitty Canadian winter.
Controlling his legs was a more difficult task than it should have been. They fought back against his every command, preferring to stand stiff against the cold. It took a bit of effort but he managed, though he did end up looking like a fucking idiot hobbling through the snow.
Ricky shuffled up the stairs and let out a sigh of relief as he reached the trailor door. Warmth was only inches away. With a frozen fist, he knocked weakly on the door and stood back an inch.
"Please, Julian, answer the fucking door holy fuck."
Ricky waited and waited, yet there was no reply.
The door seemed to stretch into an abyss in front of him as the realisation that Julian wasn't going to answer sank in. What the fuck was he going to do?
He could go try bubbles, but like hell bubbles was going to answer at too-fucking-late o'clock in the morning.
There was always his dad, but on nights like this he was definitely drunk as shit and he wasn't in the mood to break that rule.
Maybe Lucy and Sarah? Fuck no, theres no way they'd let him in, especially with Sarah's whole Cory and Trevor obsession bullshit.
Fuck it, he was going to have to break into Julian's. But could he do that right now when he could barely even knock the door thanks to the cold?
He began to shuffle over to Julian's window to give it one last bang before carrying out that brraking in plan, but the sound of the door finally opening stopped him.
"Ricky, what do you want?" Julian sighed as he rubbed his eyes with his free hand. He looked the same always. Same squinted eyes, same slight frown, same fed up look, same clothes, same drink in hand.
"Do you ever fucking sleep?"
Julian sighed, "I was sleeping until you woke me up. Now why are you at my trailer at 4 in the goddamn morning."
"It's fucking freezing out, I'm basically dying out here. You gotta let me in, Julian. Look at this shit," He waved his fingers in Julian's face "It's gone like blue or some shit. They're gonna fall off, you gotta let me in."
"Alright fine, fine." He sighed and then softened slightly, but only a little because Julian never really softens much. "You can sleep on the couch or something. Just shut up, I want to sleep."
Julian stepped back into the trailer, allowing Ricky to hobble in. The sudden temperature change burnt his skin but he sighed into the warmth anyway, savouring the slowing of his shivers. He kicked off his shoes, not caring about the snow he was throwing onto Julian's carpet, and squirmed out of his track jacket before following Julian into his bedroom.
"Ricky, I said you can sleep on the couch. Get out of here." Julian sighed as he got back into the covers.
"I just want some fucking blankets man, jesus is that too much too ask?"
"They're in the closet there," Julian gestured lazily while burrowing into the covers "Now seriously, go away, Ricky. Im tired as shit."
"Alright, thanks man. I appreciate it."
Ricky grabbed the blankets with his now defrosted hands and settled on the couch. Letting out a slight hum, he nuzzled into the blankets, a luxury he rarely had in his shitty car. And within minutes he was asleep, full of content and peace for the first time this winter.
xxx
It's cold. It's so fucking cold. Ricky shifted uncomfortably under the blanket, curling up to conserve body heat as the icey air engulfed him. Rough fabric rubbed against his arm.
Fabric. His car had leather seats.
Where the fuck was he?
Slowly, he blinked the world onto focus, only to find Julian's living room surrounding him. Oh yeah, that happened. But why was it so goddamn cold?
"Great, the fucking heating must be down."
Ricky pulled himself up off the sofa, wrapped the blanket around his shoulders like a cape, and shuffled to Julian's room, calling his name as he moved.
"Julian!"
He stepped into the bedroom where Julian was huddled under his duvet, clearly shaking just as much, if not more, than Ricky.
He shoved him lightly. "Julian, wake up."
"...Ricky?" Julian's head poked out from under the covers, an uncharacteristically confused yet soft look painted on his face (which happened to do something to Ricky's insides, though he'd prefer to ignore that fact.) It lasted only a second, however, before settling back into the regular frown and squint. "Fuck off." And with that, he turned away from Ricky.
"Come on dude, the heatings like broken or some shit. Either way, it's insanely fucking cold in here we're going to get like panorama or some shit."
Letting out a deep sigh, Julian pushed the covers off, grabbed his drink and left the room, only to return a few minutes later with an even deeper frown.
"It's broken. I'll try and fix it in the morning." Julian sipped his drink. "For now we'll just have to try to stay warm."
"Well how the fuck are we going to do that? It's like minus a million degrees in here." Ricky hugged his own body tightly.
"Were just going to have to huddle I guess." Julian placed his drink on the table and got back into the bed. "You coming?"
"What?"
Then it sank in and some ladybugs or whatever that saying was started jumping around in his chest. Ricky's eyes trailed the empty space next to Julian. "You want me to share the bed with you? That's a bit like gay, don't you think?"
"It's either that or we both freeze."
He awkwardly shuffled on the spot before sliding into the space made for him. Ricky's back was facing Julian's and a few inches of space was deliberately left between them, leaving Ricky teetering on the edge of the bed.
For a second uncomfortable silence settled between them, then the covers shifted and rustled besides him.
"The fuck are you doing?" Ricky mumbled and looked back at Julian, his eyes momentarily widening as he realised how close the other man was. They trickled down to find that Julian removed his shirt.
"More body heat. It will be warmer." Julian muttered. "Take off yours too."
It wasn't making sense in Ricky's head. After all, wouldn't less layers make you colder? But the warmth from Julian's body hit him almost immediately so he pulled his tshirt over his head and discarded it on the floor.
The silence that followed was somehow even more awkward than the previous one.
Then a wall of warmth hit Ricky as Julian shuffled backwards and pushed his back against Ricky's and Ricky forgot how to fucking breathe.
Julian wasn't lying, it was like resting his bare back against a boiling hot radiator. That is if he could feel every breath the radiator made through it's moving muscles pressing against Ricky's.
It was soft and warm and perfect and Ricky sounded like a girl and he was almost certain Julian could hear his heart beat and he wanted nothing more than to run.
Like hell he could run.
He's not sure when it started but somewhere along the line the respect and friendship turned into giddynes and just something else, something stronger. At first he thought it was friendship, after all Julian was his best friend.
But so was Bubbles and Bubbles didn't made make his heart feel like it was going to explode. He loved Bubbles, but it was different.
Sure, Ricky was stupider than the average person but he wasn't an idiot.
He was in love with Julian.
And Julian was straight.
So this was the closest he'd ever get to be with Julian. And with this fact running through his mind, Ricky exhaled deeply and pushed back a little harder, letting himself sink into Julian's skin. The steady pump of Julian's heart vibrated against Ricky's back, pumping warmth around his body and also Ricky's.
Then Julian rolled over and his hot breath was on Ricky's shoulder while arm sleepily snaked over Ricky's waist. He couldn't tell if Julian was asleep or not, but either way they stayed like that, their heartbeats syncing with each others. A silent agreement of codependency had fallen between them.
Then reality sank in and fuck, Ricky had to get away, so he broke the agreement. "Dude, you're spooning me." He mumbled into his own arm.
"What?" Julian mumbled back, half asleep.
"You're spooning me." Ricky repeated.
" 'm sorry." The man shuffled back, leaving a hollow gap between the two that made Ricky shiver.
"Were you asleep?" Ricky shuffled to face the other man who's face was half obsecured by the covers.
"Not sure" Julian let out a soft yawn "A bit I think." His voice became more normal, though the hushed tone left some soft quality in it that Ricky was trying so hard not to think about.
"Sorry for waking you."
"Don't worry."
They fell back into a silence again, though this time they stared at eachother for a minute, a strange atmosphere falling over them, before Julian slowly shut his eyes and his breathing began to slow.
"Ricky?" Julian's voice was barely a whisper.
"Yeah?"
"You can sleep in my trailer in winter. You don't have to sleep in the car." His eyes slowly opened, the sharp blue softened by the darkness.
They sparked a moment of bravery and before he even realised it, Ricky was whispering. "Jules, I love you. I don't tell you enough."
"Love you too, man."
"No, like really... I really... Fuck."
Silence hung over them and Ricky frantically tried to de-cipher Julian's expression in the darkness. He'd actually gone and fucked it all up. This was it, his biggest fuck up ever. Just as he was about to get up and leave, Julian hummed and pulled Ricky into a gentle hug.
And then Julian's lips brushed against his and the warmth that formed in his chest was enough to warm the entirety of Canada at winter.