The Pain of Love.
By
Allan "ABE" Bryant
"Okay punk, I've had enough, I don't care if you are a Eva pilot!" After that, my world became pain. A solid punch to the gut, it forced the air out of me doubled me over, and the second boy's knee hit my face sending me flying against the ground. I suppose I shouldn't have stayed quite about the Angel. Everyone wanted to know about those damn things. These boys, jealous about how the girls look to me, begging to hear, about their lives _I_ have to save; anything in particular that was stuck up their ass, for some reason they decided I was going to be their victim. They had talked to me, casually until before I had knew it I was separated, alone and their looks became hostile. Five to one, fairly unequal odds and I wasn't much of a fighter, I knew it was going to hurt. I was right. Kick after horrible kick rained down from above, I knew my screams would not be answered. At least I thought they wouldn't, but they were. I was picked up and slammed into a building. As I fell, I saw you. A vision of heaven and hell, your goddess like face framed by hellish red hair. An emotionless look, almost like Rei's adorned your face. They picked me up and pushed me against the wall of a building. All I could do was stare at you as they punched me continually, two of them holding my arms against the wall, I had no leverage to escape or fight. I lost sight in one eye as blood began to pour into it from a gash in my scalp. I felt a rib crack, it's pain seared through me like fire. But I did not scream then. I didn't screamed since you came. A big toe broke as someone stomped on it. Still I watched, as you did nothing. My arm snapped like a twig, somehow I looked through the pain. How can I care for someone like you who would let them do this? Don't you care at all as I have the life beaten from me? Finally a scream erupted from my mouth as I felt a knife cut into my stomach, blood began to tint my mouth copper, I hate that taste. The cold steel turned inside me and began to cut upwards in a fashion truly painful. I had no strength; all I could do is look you, pleading you silently. Finally, my consciousness waned, either from blood lose, or from the pain of betrayal, I do not know. All I know is that maybe you told them to do this, maybe that's why you did nothing. I love you Asuka. I hope I die.
I lost sight of Shinji; some guys in class, some bad ones to boot, had dragged him off. I sighed and went after him, knowing the fool was in trouble. Just this once I suppose I should just let him get what he deserves. He always trusts people too much. What I found though was a sad sight to see. He was being trashed by five jerks; he wasn't even putting up a fight. Then he saw me. He tried to get up but was forced to the wall and was restrained, part of me wanted to go right then and there to stop them. But there was also a part of me who wished to see this happen to him, the part that was dominant in my mind, and the Eva pilot who had become number two, the sore loser. Again and again he was hit, but he never made a sound. All he did was look to me. This look hurt to see. I knew when they had cracked a rib, Shinji's face contorted in so much pain. Then a toe, his arm, they were killing him, why couldn't I move? I want to help him! The boys were deep in the blood-rage now and one pulled a knife, one of those special ones with the serrated edges, a flesh ripper. It plunged into Shinji; a scream to end all screams filled the air, and something inside me broke. They were moving the knife now, still inside. They were torturing him. I tried to move my legs but I was still stuck. He kept looking at me with that pained look, that horrible look that turned from pain to hurt, as he knew I would not come. His head fell as he slumped in their grasp, blood, his blood, covering him. Finally I was released, as if his look had been holding my feet like spikes had been driven in them. With a scream of rage, actually something quite beyond that I believe, erupted from my mouth, I charged at them, I wanted to kill them, I did not know why other than they hurt Shinji. Red haze filled my vision as I attacked; they too attacked, apparently to do the same as they had done with Shinji.
I awoke in that same bed, looking at that same ceiling. Pain could be felt all throughout my body. I notice someone sitting next to me. Her right arm is in a cast, a patch over her eye, she looked pale but she still had her air of confidence. She saw I was awake and looked to me.
"Why?" I ask. She knew what I asked. Why hadn't she come to help?
"I don't know." She said finally. I knew that was the truth. I could tell. "Are you okay?" Okay? I honestly felt like someone took a can opener to my insides. It felt like something had pushed into my heart and my feet were unfeeling, numbed beyond belief.
"Like hell." She looked down.
"They say a rib punctured your lung, they patched it up but your going to be off the roster for about a half a year. Your left arm was broken at the elbow, and your big toe has compound fractures, they bruised your kidney and they cut up your intestines." She said, summarizing my injuries.
"What happened to you?" I asked gesturing to her arm and eye.
"After you fell I fought to get to you and they broke my arm and scratched my eye with the knife before I got them." She looked away, her form trembling, that air of confidence I thought I saw was just a sham. I knew something happened, something bad.
"Asuka." I rose against my wishes, and if they were here, the doctors wishes too and turned her head to look at mine. There where tears on her beautiful face. "What happened?"
"Shinji. I. I killed one of them!" She fell against my chest, knocking me back with some pain and shock. I held her back as she cried. "When you fell I got so angry, I wanted to kill them! I hated them so much."
"Asuka."
"I saw his eyes, but I couldn't stop, my arm didn't stop--! I pushed his nose into his brain; he was dead before he hit the ground. I. I--!" I stopped her by putting a bandaged finger on her lips. How I wished I could say it would be all right, but I had no idea if it would be. But stay with me for now Asuka. It hurt for you to be there, with me, but I wanted you there for so long, I can ignore the pain for now.
* * *
"Manslaughter." Asuka said numbly as she read the letter. Misato was silent next to her, her arm around the younger woman. I was in my wheel chair, barely able to move. "J-justifiable manslaughter?"
"It's not as bad as it sounds Asuka." Said Misato, but I could tell in her eyes it was bad.
"It's the same as murder, just that I had a reason for it."
"You should be fine, NERV is gonna take a brunt of this for you. While you where reprimanded by commander Ikari it was not as bad as it could have been. Most likely they'll tackle NERV itself for failure to train their pilots properly, they can get a lot off of that.
"It could always be worse, had you been a few minutes late Shinji would have been." She trailed off, knowing she was treading uncharted waters by all of us. Asuka's sudden feelings towards me were fresh in her mind, how close I was to death. She just bursts into tears once again and we console her. Poor Asuka.
To be continued.
By
Allan "ABE" Bryant
"Okay punk, I've had enough, I don't care if you are a Eva pilot!" After that, my world became pain. A solid punch to the gut, it forced the air out of me doubled me over, and the second boy's knee hit my face sending me flying against the ground. I suppose I shouldn't have stayed quite about the Angel. Everyone wanted to know about those damn things. These boys, jealous about how the girls look to me, begging to hear, about their lives _I_ have to save; anything in particular that was stuck up their ass, for some reason they decided I was going to be their victim. They had talked to me, casually until before I had knew it I was separated, alone and their looks became hostile. Five to one, fairly unequal odds and I wasn't much of a fighter, I knew it was going to hurt. I was right. Kick after horrible kick rained down from above, I knew my screams would not be answered. At least I thought they wouldn't, but they were. I was picked up and slammed into a building. As I fell, I saw you. A vision of heaven and hell, your goddess like face framed by hellish red hair. An emotionless look, almost like Rei's adorned your face. They picked me up and pushed me against the wall of a building. All I could do was stare at you as they punched me continually, two of them holding my arms against the wall, I had no leverage to escape or fight. I lost sight in one eye as blood began to pour into it from a gash in my scalp. I felt a rib crack, it's pain seared through me like fire. But I did not scream then. I didn't screamed since you came. A big toe broke as someone stomped on it. Still I watched, as you did nothing. My arm snapped like a twig, somehow I looked through the pain. How can I care for someone like you who would let them do this? Don't you care at all as I have the life beaten from me? Finally a scream erupted from my mouth as I felt a knife cut into my stomach, blood began to tint my mouth copper, I hate that taste. The cold steel turned inside me and began to cut upwards in a fashion truly painful. I had no strength; all I could do is look you, pleading you silently. Finally, my consciousness waned, either from blood lose, or from the pain of betrayal, I do not know. All I know is that maybe you told them to do this, maybe that's why you did nothing. I love you Asuka. I hope I die.
I lost sight of Shinji; some guys in class, some bad ones to boot, had dragged him off. I sighed and went after him, knowing the fool was in trouble. Just this once I suppose I should just let him get what he deserves. He always trusts people too much. What I found though was a sad sight to see. He was being trashed by five jerks; he wasn't even putting up a fight. Then he saw me. He tried to get up but was forced to the wall and was restrained, part of me wanted to go right then and there to stop them. But there was also a part of me who wished to see this happen to him, the part that was dominant in my mind, and the Eva pilot who had become number two, the sore loser. Again and again he was hit, but he never made a sound. All he did was look to me. This look hurt to see. I knew when they had cracked a rib, Shinji's face contorted in so much pain. Then a toe, his arm, they were killing him, why couldn't I move? I want to help him! The boys were deep in the blood-rage now and one pulled a knife, one of those special ones with the serrated edges, a flesh ripper. It plunged into Shinji; a scream to end all screams filled the air, and something inside me broke. They were moving the knife now, still inside. They were torturing him. I tried to move my legs but I was still stuck. He kept looking at me with that pained look, that horrible look that turned from pain to hurt, as he knew I would not come. His head fell as he slumped in their grasp, blood, his blood, covering him. Finally I was released, as if his look had been holding my feet like spikes had been driven in them. With a scream of rage, actually something quite beyond that I believe, erupted from my mouth, I charged at them, I wanted to kill them, I did not know why other than they hurt Shinji. Red haze filled my vision as I attacked; they too attacked, apparently to do the same as they had done with Shinji.
I awoke in that same bed, looking at that same ceiling. Pain could be felt all throughout my body. I notice someone sitting next to me. Her right arm is in a cast, a patch over her eye, she looked pale but she still had her air of confidence. She saw I was awake and looked to me.
"Why?" I ask. She knew what I asked. Why hadn't she come to help?
"I don't know." She said finally. I knew that was the truth. I could tell. "Are you okay?" Okay? I honestly felt like someone took a can opener to my insides. It felt like something had pushed into my heart and my feet were unfeeling, numbed beyond belief.
"Like hell." She looked down.
"They say a rib punctured your lung, they patched it up but your going to be off the roster for about a half a year. Your left arm was broken at the elbow, and your big toe has compound fractures, they bruised your kidney and they cut up your intestines." She said, summarizing my injuries.
"What happened to you?" I asked gesturing to her arm and eye.
"After you fell I fought to get to you and they broke my arm and scratched my eye with the knife before I got them." She looked away, her form trembling, that air of confidence I thought I saw was just a sham. I knew something happened, something bad.
"Asuka." I rose against my wishes, and if they were here, the doctors wishes too and turned her head to look at mine. There where tears on her beautiful face. "What happened?"
"Shinji. I. I killed one of them!" She fell against my chest, knocking me back with some pain and shock. I held her back as she cried. "When you fell I got so angry, I wanted to kill them! I hated them so much."
"Asuka."
"I saw his eyes, but I couldn't stop, my arm didn't stop--! I pushed his nose into his brain; he was dead before he hit the ground. I. I--!" I stopped her by putting a bandaged finger on her lips. How I wished I could say it would be all right, but I had no idea if it would be. But stay with me for now Asuka. It hurt for you to be there, with me, but I wanted you there for so long, I can ignore the pain for now.
* * *
"Manslaughter." Asuka said numbly as she read the letter. Misato was silent next to her, her arm around the younger woman. I was in my wheel chair, barely able to move. "J-justifiable manslaughter?"
"It's not as bad as it sounds Asuka." Said Misato, but I could tell in her eyes it was bad.
"It's the same as murder, just that I had a reason for it."
"You should be fine, NERV is gonna take a brunt of this for you. While you where reprimanded by commander Ikari it was not as bad as it could have been. Most likely they'll tackle NERV itself for failure to train their pilots properly, they can get a lot off of that.
"It could always be worse, had you been a few minutes late Shinji would have been." She trailed off, knowing she was treading uncharted waters by all of us. Asuka's sudden feelings towards me were fresh in her mind, how close I was to death. She just bursts into tears once again and we console her. Poor Asuka.
To be continued.