Hotch down.
The first time Morgan didn't really notice it.
Hotch was uptight and serious by nature, and the moments when Morgan could see him smile and mingle were rare anyway. So, when he entered the bullpen and moved straight up to his office it wasn't unusual. And when he barely spoke to anyone, it came to Derek as no surprise, really.
The second time, Morgan noticed the little pills on the counter, in the coffee room. His first thought was Reid, but he trusted the young guy better than that and he refused to think about the possibility of his addiction for more than twp seconds, and besides they were just Advil.
The next time, when he saw Hotch trying to get out from his own office, even before Morgan had his own jacket on, Morgan knew his boss was hiding something.
It wasn't as though he felt he had the right to question what was up with Hotch, but he knew that none of the others would. And since Foyet, Morgan had been watching out for Hotch as best as he could. He couldn't let this go.
He followed Hotch to the parking garage and watched as Hotch seemed to drag himself into his car.
Hotch actually seemed to need to pull his legs into the car.
Hotch was used to working under any kind of circumstance, headaches, obsessed psychos, menacing unsubs, unhappy colleagues. But the last week had become one of the most challenging. His back was, medically, fine after the fire, but the back spasms kept hurting and the burns didn't seem to heal.
The doctor said it was a matter of a few weeks.
He started to wonder, after eight days, if it was normal that the pain hadn't subsided even just a bit.
The show must go on, he thought, so he moved to his car, the bottle of ibuprofen always in the pocket of his jacket, the vicodin at home.
He saw Morgan approach his car out of the corner of his eye, but just decided it was simpler to avoid discussion, and started the engine.
Morgan moved to block the car, he held one hand up. "Just wait a minute." He called. "Come on Hotch just a minute."
Hotch sighed and turned the car off. "Is there a case? Do we need to go back in?"
Moving to the driver's side window Morgan stared at Hotch then said. "No, look man, we need to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you, okay?"
"Morgan it's nothing, I'm perfectly fine."
" I'd say perfectly fine is far from how you are. Let's just talk about it."
"I don't need to talk about it. I need to go home and rest."
"Maybe. But you need to talk about it too. This is going to affect your work too if you don't do something about it soon. Let me in. Or..get out of the car, if you want. The point is, we need to talk."
"Get in." Hotch muttered. "It's just my back; the spasms, the burns. They aren't healing well. The doc says to just wait it out."
"Did he say to stay home, probably with less clothes on?"
Hotch turned, looking at him with a glance that was probably meant to be deadly. Morgan just saw the need, the pain, the tension.
"I don't need to stay home, I can handle this just fine."
"Think again, Hotch. If I noticed, you know others will."
"What happened was bad but the burns are still not healing. I can do this. I need just to wait it out. I'll be perfectly fine."
"You keep saying that like a mantra…Like you're trying to convince yourself."
"My god Morgan, it's how I deal with things, I can't just stay home. There are monsters out there." Hotch moved his hand to indicate beyond them. "I can't stay home."
"Hotch, Hotch you told me a long time ago that they'll always be there. There's no way we can catch them all. Take a few days, let time work for you."
"Morgan, those kids in that house, when it went up in flames all I could think of was were there more of them we didn't find in time."
"JJ says we got them all, there were no more kids in that house."
"But it seems the world is on fire Derek." Hotch sounded lost. He put his head on the steering wheel and seemed to give himself over to the pain. "It's more than I can do."
"Oh Hotch, man, come on, you do more than anyone. You're hero to a hundred people.. If you end up with an infection and it all gets worse then what?"
Morgan frowned slightly when Hotch remained silent, he recognized the mix of physical pain and the even worse pain of frustration.
He wasn't going to let him fall into despair.
"Ok. Let's go home. Your home. I can help you bandage that. I will be there to check for infect..:"
"I don't need a nurse, Morgan. Even less YOU as a nurse."
Morgan didn't let the tone stop him, and just answered with a matching, challenging tone that left no room for any discussion.
"If you're not taking care of those I will. I'll do it for the BAU and for the people that need SSA Hotchner healthy, up and running. Now let's go home so I can help you with all this. And tomorrow," he continued, "we're calling your doctor and getting your back and the burns checked, got it?"
"I can't talk you out of this?" Hotch frowned.
"No. Not today and not tomorrow. Now start the car or we'll take mine, doesn't matter to me."
Hotch seemed to consider for a moment, then conceded. "Then I think you better drive."