Yayy! This popped into my head, so I had to do it. Read and review, please!
Everyone in this story (Except for Kendra, she's my creation) is belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
Short story is short. Kendra is come from my other fic... the one with Tweek and Kenny. She's Tweek's cousin. She swears in Latin.
Wow, my grammar is really dead, here...
"What about that one?"
"Which one?"
"Blondie. The one with the bowtie."
"Pip? Gay."
"Sterculus! Is every cute boy in this town gay?" The new girl, Kendra, had begun her daily routine of interrogating Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny about the other boys in school.
"I'm not."
"Futue te ipsum, Cartman. Mater tua lupa est."
"Speak English! No one knows what the fuck you're saying!"
"Don't wanna." I glanced over my shoulder. Kendra was still looking my way, her brows furrowed. She looked over to the line of kids getting their lunches and pointed, "What about that one?" She began fidgeting with one of the hoops in her bottom lip.
"Which one?"
"The one with the cool eyebrows… he kinda looks like a Vulcan."
"Damien? He's the son of Satan."
"So, either he's Goth, or he's completely nuts."
Damien dropped his tray on the table in front of me. He gave the girl at the other table a death glare before dropping into his seat, "Hey, Pippers."
"Hello, Damien."
"I don't care if he's insane. He's cute. What do you know about his sexual preferences?"
"The new girl keeps looking over here…" Damien growled.
"Oh, yes, she does that a lot. I think she finds you attractive."
He groaned, "She's nuts." His blood-red eyes narrowed and glowed softly the way they always did when he was doing something demonic.
"Damien!" I hissed.
"What? I was just gonna turn her into a platypus."
"Damien!" I squeaked again. He laughed at my flustered expression.
"I would turn her back. Maybe." He smirked and propped his chin up on his fist.
"You can't solve all of your problems by turning anyone who annoys you into a duck-billed platypus!" I exclaimed, flushing with exasperation.
"I just want a boyfriend!" The eccentric girl behind me exclaimed, "Or a girlfriend. I'm not picky. So, what do we know about the Damien kid?"
"He only ever really talks to that French kid."
I'm not French! I slumped my shoulders out of annoyance. I hate the French…
Damien raised an eyebrow, "I think she's trying to figure out if I'm gay…"
My ears perked up. That was something I'd always wondered, "Are you?" I asked, cocking my head and feigning innocence.
Damien glared at the girl behind me for a minute before turning to me. He grinned, exposing unnaturally pointed canines. Suddenly, he lurched forward, grabbed me by the bow tie, and pressed his lips to mine.
"Gay."
"Deus damnit is! God Damnit!"