Just something short that just popped into my brain. It takes place after the episode, "Absolute Power"

Piper and Finn bet their record collections based on Stork's reaction.

The Bet


Piper and Finn shook hands with nefarious grins.

"Done and done," they both said.

"Oh man, Piper. You're gonna loose so bad!" Finn exclaimed. "I read a book about this. Yes, don't faint. I read a book and I'm gonna win! He is clearly a pessimist, and he will say the glass is half empty."

"And I say he won't!" Piper shot back. "Remember, the loser must give the winner their entire record collection no matter what."

They both looked on the central table of the bridge. Piper's collection was a small and modest single stack of records. Finn's collection, on the other hand, was about three times the size of Piper's.

"Your puny record collection is mine, Piper." Finn declared.

"Quality over quantity, Finn," Piper replied, "My record collection is better than all of your records combined! Let's just start the bet already."

Finn agreed and strolled triumphantly over to a sink and filled a glass of water to the halfway point. Finn took the glass and went to Stork, who was occupied with the ever-important task of flying the Condor.

"Hey Stork, buddy." Finn called. "What you see in this glass? Half full or half empty?"

Finn tapped the half empty portion, as if trying to influence his decision.

Stork turned around to see the glass of water and screamed. "It's poisoned, isn't it!? Get it away from me!"

Stork twitched and the Condor went into a moderate incline. Finn retracted the cup of water and Stork continued piloting.

"Leave me alone," the merb hissed.

Finn turned around to meet Piper's smiling face. She had won, but Finn refused to accept it. He attempted to rationalize the bet in order to save his record collection.

"Ok, he didn't technically--"

"No Finn," Piper pointed out. "You said he would say it would be half empty. Clearly, he did not. He said it was poisoned."

"But--"

"Finn, I've won. According to the bet, I would win if he said anything else. Accept defeat and give me your records."

"But you hate my records. You said they drive you insane. What on Atmos are you going to do with-- No!"

Finn noticed Piper's grin deepened.

"No, you can't! It took me so long to get that collection!"

Piper began moving the giant stacks of records into a large cart. Finn gasped.

"Piper, please! No!"

"A deal is a deal, Finn. At least now we won't have to suffer from your horrible taste in music."

Piper called out for Junko, who promptly appeared through the doorway.

"Yeah?" Junko asked. "What do you need, Piper?"

"Junko, take this cart for me will you?" Piper ordered. "Throw it into the wastelands."

"Uh… Are you sure?" Junko asked, holding up random records. "This kinda looks like Finn's stuff."

"Not anymore." Piper said deviously. "They are mine as of five minutes ago."

Junko shrugged and heaved the cart over to a nearby gun port, which could open up to the outside. He opened the port and swiftly shoved the cart out of the Condor. The cart silently plummeted beneath the clouds and out of view.

Finn stared out the hole in the Condor and into the blue, blank sky. He assumed the fetal position and started sucking his thumb. He had lost everything.

It's not fair. She cheated! She probably bribed Stork with sandcakes.

Piper triumphantly waltzed over to the sink and poured a cup of water for herself to drink. Finn tried to drown his sorrow by drinking the cup of water in his hand.

His stomach began to rumble uncontrollably when he swallowed the water. Shortly after, he vomited all over the floor. Piper fell ill as well and also vomited in a trash bin.

Aerrow and Junko cringed at Finn's and Piper's misfortune, and Stork turned around to declare victory over them all.

"See, it was poisoned. Of course, that's what you get when a certain someone forgets to change the ship's water filter."

Aerrow raised an eyebrow. Junko smiled and tried to look inconspicuous.

Stork sighed and continued. "Why don't any of you ever listen to me?"


Moral: When Piper and Finn bet, Stork wins.

:P