[Author's note: I know that in Japan Jasdero's twin's name was Devitto, or something like that, but for god knows why his name was changed to "David" in the American manga. Since I've only read the American manga, I kept his name as "David", but I know that must be annoying if you're not a fan of the American manga and read the direct Japanese translations offline. Sorry for any inconvenience. ^^U]
The rain was ravenous that day. It was hungry for chaos, it longed to make everything sopping wet. To leave not a single leaf spared, or even one lonely child without the shivers. The rain was unforgiving, and I couldn't imagine why. Are you jealous, dear sky? I thought to ask, yet kept the words locked away behind my lips. Better not.
"If you stand out there too long, you'll get a cold." My mistress giggled, leaning out the window with an impish smirk.
"Akuma don't get colds." I didn't know if it was true or not, but it seemed responsible enough.
"You will if you stay out there too long."
"Let it stay, Road, it doesn't matter." I heard another voice sigh from deeper within the mansion.
"It". I hate being called that but... it's not like it's fair to give me a gender, either. I'm a product of sorrow that lives on carnage, that's all. I'm a machine of the Noah... a servant of the Earl... I thought bitterly, letting the rain roll of my cheeks and soak my chin-length dusty brown hair. Sometimes, when the Earl wasn't commanding me to devour the blood of the innocent, I would stare at myself in the mirror. Me. Nameless, genderless me. After a few seconds, stories would always formulate in my overly imaginative brain. This skin I wear, who did it belong to? Who was it that called upon the Earl in their darkness hour and gave their life to create me? Me. Nameless, genderless, me.
It could have been a lover. I would speculate. This body looks around sixteen, so he could have given his life to save a girlfriend or something... that seems like something a teenager would do. Two dinner plate sized eyes would gaze back at me in thought. Or maybe I don't give this body enough credit... perhaps he wanted to bring his beloved mother back to life... or his pet cat. The thought of a cat almost made me chuckle. Can akuma even be made from cats? It's not like I know everything about my kind... but... imagine that, having the soul of a cat! I would hide my pleased expression, slipping out of the bathroom before any of the Noah caught me in there, in the horrid act of being inanely human.
Eliade was too human for her own good. A fat drop of water hit my eyelid, sliding down my face like one rouge tear. That's what they said, anyway. She cared a lot about being gorgeous. She was beautiful, though... she stayed in the same house for a long time, until the day she stopped coming back... I wonder how you died, Eliade... you were the closest thing I had to a friend and yet... I never knew you much beyond your name...
My eyes shot upwards, as if instinctively looking to where Eliade soul may lie. No, that's wrong. I smiled bitterly. We akuma don't have souls of our own, we are the results of someone else's soul and the Earl's handiwork, no products of God like man. When we die, we disappear. That's just the way it goes. Though no one had ever outlined the fate of akuma to me explicitly, I could deduct most of it on my own. Weapons. No more, no less. Nameless, genderless weapons.
"What're you doing out here?" A new voice was added to the melody of the ragging rain. More accusing than questioning, I knew that whoever it was wasn't going to offer me a warm cup of coco and a clean towel to dry off.
"Yeah, heh heh." Another voice followed.
"Oh, good afternoon." I spun around to face the two teenagers, giving them a bow and straighting myself back up. "May I be of assistance, Lord Jasdevi?" Jasdevi wasn't like the other Noah or the Earl for that matter. The two misfits were loud and obnoxious, and if one wasn't throwing a temper tantrum than the other was crying or cursing or throwing something at someone. There was no great evil behind the pounds of black eye makeup the boys used, not like with Tyki, who could make my blood-or at least the blood oil I run on, go cold. They weren't brutes like Skin, nor did they bare the sweet elegance of Road. They were, in most manners, normal teenage boys.
"Well, what the hell are you doing?" David raised one of his eyebrows, lowering the other in order to shoot me an annoyed look.
"I was standing out here." I answered plainly.
"You trying to be funny or something?" David scowled, moving his slivery hand gun from the side of his brother's head to the front of mine.
"Yeah, heh heh!" Jasdero snickered along. I had witnessed this same scene many times. An akuma maid didn't make Skin's lunch sweet enough, so she was killed. An akuma made a mistake, so the Earl did away with them. It wasn't a rare occurrence, but the fact that my life could be so easily ended by th very person I serve never crossed my mind. I began to panic, as I often do, the gray pallet of my world swirling together, the mouth of the gun freezing as it pressed against my wet forehead.
I've lived a good life. I wished I could truly think that, truly believe that I had satisfied my "happiness requirement" for my lifetime and could pass over peacefully and soundlessly. That would be a lie. The harsh truth pierced any idealistic daydreams I could summon to ease the impeding threat of death. I've killed many people-I've taken solace in the deaths of others. Not just in this rain, but in rains of blood I've found comfort and excitement but... it never lasts long. The people die and then I'm on my own again, without any real purpose but to look forward to the next time I get to kill, the next time I get to be thrown to the battlefield as a nameless pawn.
"N-n-no." I finally managed to stutter out. "I don't mean to mock you, my lord!" Or would it be lords...there are two of them, but they talk as if they're one person, calling them selves Jasdevi... no no no! This is no time to be fretting over grammar! Like Jasdevi would even notice if I slaughtered the English language! My mind got ahead of me once more, it's bad habit kicking in. Thinking about life when I'm birthed from death, thinking about pasts when all I should look to is the present... my mind was a troublesome thing, running a muck far more than my proper-manners-only mouth ever could.
"What should we do?" Jasdero, who was always hunched over, looked up at his brother with curious golden eyes.
"I dunno." David shrugged, lowering the gun from my face and pointing it back at his twin. "It's not like we have anything better to do." He looked up at the sky, the rain causing both his and Jasdero's makeup to run, cascading down their faces like a wave of black tears. "So," He looked back at me, "What are you doing out here, other than standing?"
I thought carefully, knowing that if I answered incorrectly my next words could be my last. "The Earl didn't have anything for me to do, so I came out here. I like to stand in the rain." "Like"... what a funny word. No one's ever asked me what I "like" to do before...
"Nothing to do?" The two brothers shot each other confused looks. "You're an akuma, go kill some exorcists."
"The Earl didn't give me an order to." It seemed like a reasonable defense to me.
"So?" I flinched, looking away from his judgmental glare.
"I'm not going to go off and kill unless it's an order." I explained, keeping my voice soft and passive, hoping I wasn't prodding a hungry lion with a stick.
David sighed. "Akuma are weird."
"Yeah, weird! They're freaky!" Lord Jasdero giggled. He's the only boy I've ever met who can giggle like that, but none the less, he giggled.
"You got a name, akuma?" Lord David asked.
"A name? No, sir." A name? Why did he ask me something like that? Eliade had a name, but she was a rare case. More than anyone, even some human girls, she had a gender. She was a woman even if she was an akuma... but... I'm not like Eliade. I don't have a castle that I go away to, only this mansion, only the home of the Noah. Tyki never asks my name, neither do Skin and Road... I'm just... an akuma.
"Let's give him a name." Jasdero suggested, looking up at David.
"Good idea Jasdero." David smirked.
"Him"? A name? They were concepts I never thought could be applied to me. Were the twins too naive to see the difference between me and a normal human boy? No, they had called akuma freaky... So why, as the rain flattened Jasdero's bouncy blond hair and made a crying man out of the tough as nails David, did they decide to give me a name? Give me, nameless, genderless me, the two things that I truly lacked? My mind spun wondrous tails like a master seamstress, concocting the threads of stories at a rapid pace. Maybe Jasdevi once knew someone who looked like me, but they died in battle and now they want to give me a name in order to remind them of their long lost friend! Or it could be that they hate me so much they want to come up with the ugliest name in all of the world and give it to me.
"Fantastico?"
"What?" I blinked.
"Fantastico, yeah, that's a great name, right Jasdero?" David grinned.
So I guess it was the second one, huh. Fantastico. Out of all the names I could be stuck with, I was going to get Fantastico.
"That's monstrous, really, Jasdevi." Tyki's voice isn't like other peoples. It's the kind of voice that makes you stop on the street and turn around, smooth and elegant, demanding of attention in it's laid back, seductive tones. With a voice like that, woman must throw themselves as Lord Tyki, must die just to be in his presence or kiss the ground he walked on. Die just for the chance to hear that beautiful voice acknowledge them. My voice is an akuma's voice. It's light and delicate for a boy's, but when I'm excited it comes out shrill and high, higher than Road's, even.
With such a voice, I couldn't help but look up at the window, the same one Road had been peering out of what seemed like an eternity ago. His hair, usually pushed back and neat, had fallen around his face in a perfect mess of black locks. The rain, daring to touch him as no human or akuma ever could, soaked his white button up shirt and caused it to stick to his body-the body of any girl's dreams.
I never thought of Tyki as a friend. If I was laying on the ground dying, I'd sooner lay and wait for a miracle than request his help. There's something unreachable about him, even in his most laid back moments when he takes out a cigarette and smokes while casually talking to Road, he is unreachable. His beauty is not something I have to search for in the depths of his character, nor be female to appreciate. His beauty is certain as his cruelty.
"Shut up. What kind of name is 'Tyki' anyway?" David snorted, giving Tyki the finger. For David, the gap between him and Tyki must have been nonexistent, carefree to commit an act even my wild brain would never dream of.
"Shut up!" Jasdero added.
"If you two get sick from standing out in the rain, the Earl will be upset." Tyki warned, ignoring their offensive behavior.
"We won't get sick!" David chuckled as if the very thought of illness was mad. "Right, Fantastico?" David grinned over at me.
Fantastico suddenly didn't seem like such a horrid name. It was someone recognizing me, giving me at least some small drop of an identity. One can't have a past if they don't have an identity. They can't have a future if they don't have a past. Yet in an instant, David had gifted me with all of these things. Mediocre as my past, present, and future were, they existed, and for the first time, I existed.
"O-of course not my lord." I agreed.
I could see a sweat drop roll down Tyki's face. "Fine. Do what you like, Jasdevi.. and Fantastico..." I felt my heart hiccup. My name. He had said it, even if it was only to show Jasdevi how utterly stupid it was, he had said it.
"Maybe we should go inside... I'm kind of cold." Jasdero sniffed once he was sure that Tyki was gone. Naturally Jasdero, clad in only a jacket and no shirt, was quicker to freeze than David in his heavy jacket and white shirt or I in my black butler style outfit. It wasn't anything special, but as many of the maids who tended to the Noah had been given dresses, I, too, had been given the attire of a butler.
"Alright." David agreed, kicking open the door of the mansion and waltzing in with Jasdero at his side and me trailing behind.
"Ah, jeez, let's go get something to dry off... we'll have to put more makeup on." David decided.
"I'll go get some towels." I jumped at the chance to make myself useful. I wanted to stay around them, to make myself as attached to them as I could. I wanted to hear them call my name, my hideous, hideous name. "If you tell me where you put your makeup I'll fetch you that as well."
"Alright." David gave no objection. "Our room is the last one on the right, the makeup is under our bed."
Our bed? They sleep together? It's not like it's that odd, they are always together... I couldn't fathom the thought of being that close with another creature, be it human, akuma, Noah, or even animal. The only time I ever touched another living thing was when I was cutting it to bits in the midst of battle, never peaceful snoozing together.
I ran up the stairs, not wanting to keep the two twins waiting. Truth be told, I had never been in any of their rooms. So many rooms, all locked away with their own secrets and own deadly Noah, ready and more than capable of tearing me limp from limp. Inside the restrictions of the Noah family's house, I was a pitiful butler, sweeping the floors and dusting the huge metal clock in the living room that would always scare me when I was first born into the mansion, it's noisy "ding dong" echoing loud enough to break glass. Yet, in all my cleaning I had never entered even one of the private rooms. Mistress Road's room is likely to be full of things that are all black and pink and frilly, and have all sorts of eerie dolls on the walls. I would think. Lord Tyki's room might be fancy, like the way he dresses, all neat and orderly without a single paper out of place... or it might be a pigsty, with books and clothes strewn all over the place and ashtrays staining the smell of smoke into the very walls.
My hand wrapped around the handle to Jasdevi's room. My time for thinking was over. Will it be neat...? No, I doubt it. It'll be a wreck, with the most random things thrown about. Will it be white or will the walls be painted? Do Jasdero and David have a favorite color? What would they do if I just up and asked them? My heart was beating with the rhythm of a bomb, my hand frozen around the door knob. I've killed countless people and yet I can't even go inside a measly little room? No way...
In one sharp motion, before I had time to second guess my actions, the door was flung open. I stumbled in, taking in the new surrounds. Gray walls... I wouldn't have guessed that. I took in every detail, from the messy state of the sheets, like the two boys had jumped of bed and never looked back, to the single lamp, the shade, oddly enough, laying on the opposite side of the room. Why is it over there? I pondered, going to retrieve the abandoned shade. I stuck it back in place, fixing it on just right. Maybe they wore it as a hat... I've always wanted to try that... Who would have worn it, David or Jasdero...? Maybe they took turns...
I bent down to my knees, pushing a fallen pillow out of the way and grasping onto the first thing my hand touched. From the dark underbelly of the bed I pulled out a shiny metal box with an unsightly dent in the side and a broken clasp. I bet Road keeps her makeup in something cute, nothing like this... I stuck my tongue out at the box. Not the first thing one pictures when they hear the word "makeup".
Reluctantly, not knowing if I would ever be given the honor to enter the room again, I left. I pulled the door shut behind me and scurried off the the bathroom. I took two towels, the mirror catching my eye before I could leave. How many hours have I spent seeking the truths of my self within your lovely glass, dear mirror? I paused. I would question who this skin belonged to or whose soul I was created with. I would give them names and pasts, their stories all tragic because they all resulted in the failure creation of nameless, genderless me, but I never wondered what kind of name I would have if I were to be given one. Fantastico. Does it really suit me? I inspected my own face with new eyes, eyes Jasdevi had gifted me with. My face was timid, shy and almost innocent with great round jade eyes and pale, fair skin. If I didn't know better, know of the secret weapons laying beneath the facade of a normal human, I would assume that I was weak, puny. Nothing fantastic, nothing glorious. Nothing deserving of the name Fantastico. It's more of a damnation than a blessing, though. I might be the only living creature on all of Earth that rejoices at hearing people call me Fantastico.
I returned to the party I had left, the petite and almost fragile form of Road standing between me and the two teenagers. Her small frame was covered in lavender silk and lace, the simple gown looking divine against her gray skin.
For all the time I knew her, Eliade was always in heels. Not once had she dared grace the Earl's mansion in anything but, and I doubt she would let anyone lay eyes upon her if she wasn't propped up in her favorite pair of extra inches. Even though I wear the skin of a boy, I was always shorter than Eliade, always looking up to the cold eyed beauty... and yet, those shoes that kept her so high out of reach were no where to be found on the naked toes of Road. Her feet, bare on the account that she was in her own house, served her no height advantage over me. She looked tiny, cute, even. I was always looking up to Eliade, she was always so much taller than me... yet Road, so short right now, so defenseless in her shear gown and chick-leg sized arms... how come I'm scared to even clear my own throat, to make myself known to the group? Those heels that made Eliade so tall... so tipsy and thin... maybe they were just making her fall that much harder...Another story sprouted in my mind, the demise of celestial Eliade, fallen to Hell for her wickedness and sin. I may not wear heels like Eliade... but my fate will be all the same.
"Are you going to stand there all day?" David pushed past Road and snatched the twin towels from my hands, Jasdero picking up the dented metal case.
"Oh, sorry." I felt my face brighten, hoping I hadn't given them a bad impression already.
"Oh?" Road turned to face me. "You're the one that was standing in the rain earlier." I nodded.
"He's the one we were just telling you about. His name is Fantastico." David chuckled, stuffing his handgun into his jacket so that he could dry his hair.
"Yeah, we picked it out." Jasdero added, his long golden blond hair frizzy from the rain.
"Fantastico? That's not cute." Road giggled. "What about Rain?"
"Rain?" Jasdevi repeated.
"Well, that is kind of edgy." David smirked. "It's an akuma name, yeah." Jasdero nodded. I felt lost in the group, like I had become some insignificant bystander that could have no impact on the conversation. My fate had been tossed to the three Noah, and whatever became of me was up to them. They were bored, so I had become their pawn. Simple enough.
"Fantastico Rain sounds way better." They bickered.
"No! Rain Fantastico!"
"We found him first!"
"No way! I saw him out my window!" Road pouted.
"Go play with that vagabond Tyki." David stuck his tongue out.
"Go play with Tyki!" Jasdero egged on.
"I want to play with Rain!" She moaned, "I want to dress him up all pretty. It's so rare to fine a boy doll that's cute."
So I'm a doll now...? Did Road just call me cute...?!
"Screw you Road, he's going to play poker with us."
"Do you even know how to play poker?"
"Do we?" Jasdero looked over at his brother.
"No, we don't." David replied.
"We don't." Jasdero nodded.
"That's why we gotta play with Rain, so that we'll learn!" David justified.
"Fine." Road gave in. "I guess I'll go play with Lero."
Once Road was gone, I found myself being dragged up the stairs, David grasping one of my arms and Jasdero latched to the other.
"Lord Jasdevi...!" I stammered.
"What, Rain?" Jasdero asked, his round golden eyes looking friendly to me for the first time.
"Thanks for the name." I thought to say, but I held it in. Better not.