Weakness
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Disclaimer: Do not own. Don't sue me.
Summary: Integra's thoughts after the episode 9 of the anime. This rather dark, if you don't like that kind of things don't read. It's a short drabble.
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We, human, are so weak and pathetic. We can die so easily. I hate the fact that the creatures I'm supposed to hate, those creatures that are my responsibility to kill are much more stronger than me, than any of us. We have to take care of our pathetic bodies because we're so pitiable that even the smallest of things can get us kill. I hate being what I am, but I know that I would hate being a nosferatu too. I loathe everything I am force to be, but I am so stubborn that I give up everything for the sake of duty.
I am not even certain anymore what is my duty. Hellsing's greatest job is to impress those low life, miserables, good for nothing imbeciles that the Queen calls knight. I truly wish they burn and suffer the worst of the fates in the seven circle of hell. This life I've been force to live can't be called a real life. I have to kill night creatures in order to protect the people of England. People that are incredibly unaware of the mere existence of these creatures.
I've been thinking that if I just die this organization, and all it stands for would be flushed down the toilet. Hellsing will b left in ruins, and my family's legacy will disappear. It's not like somebody cares. Not even I care. The truth is that there is a little part of em that wants to die. To send all of this to burning hell, but I just can't.
Being the only Hellsing alive is harder than it seems. But I can only hope that someday the embrace of death will overtake me. I really wish that day comes soon.
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