From the Varia, With Love
Summary. From enemies, to reluctant allies, to Family, the tenth generation's relationship with the Varia has been destructive at best. So why is it Tsuna keeps finding them in his Guardian's beds? Set TYL, cracky pairings, one-shot.
Rating. PG-15ish
Warnings. BL, hints of more.
Disclaimer. The KHR! franchise does not belong to me, and I make no profit from this.
A/N. i love the Varia, i love 10thVongolaGenxVaria, and i write humour for the most part, so i figured this was one of the few ways i could make them work. if you want something serious, you've come to the wrong place. also, as usual, unbeta'd.
Tsuna quivered slightly as he sat before the Varia boss, reminding himself that he was a Vongola boss now and should be over this fear (because it was fear, damn it! Not something else, and- oh, Xanxus' arms were quite muscled weren't they? Even through the suit he was wearing whenever he flexed his arms his biceps would- damn it Tsuna, concentrate!). A table was between them, and on it there were two wine glasses and two plates of steamy pasta. As he continued making a fool of himself, unaware of the amused looks he was getting, Tsuna tried to mentally pinpoint the moment when it had all started.
A few weeks ago, and somewhere between his last bourbon and his first whiskey, Xanxus had gone on rampage and destroyed the Varia headquarters for the umpteenth time. Now, usually, this simply meant the Vongola once more had to pay for repairs. Usually, they shrugged off the occurrence as if nothing happened and then moved on with their lives. Usually, the Varia wouldn't have to move to the main Vongola house until they themselves were able to raise enough money to pay for repairs.
Obviously, this time was different. Because this time, the Ninth decided to momentarily forget his retirement and took matters into his own hands. In short, he forced his adopted son to agree to his terms whether he liked it or not (Tsuna was still not sure exactly how Timoteo managed to persuade Xanxus to agree, but he wasn't too sure he wanted to know either). To Tsuna, Timoteo offered only his apologies with a smile that betrayed pain if he did not accept his terms.
It was that agreement which led to the current situation: the independent assassination squad, Varia, was staying at the main Vongola house with the Tenth Family until they were able to pay for their repairs.
Now, this wasn't exactly a problem. Sure, at first everyone fought, and Tsuna feared the house would also be destroyed, but by the end of the first week things had calmed down. Tsuna was beginning to think that maybe it hadn't been such a bad idea when he noticed some of his Guardian's paper work was getting done faster.
Tsuna was also unaware what, exactly, had cause this sudden burst of goodwill between the two groups. His first hint he disregarded at first, because even he had seen that one coming at that point.
Tsuna had walked into Yamamoto's room without knocking (neither of them had ever bothered with that before) to ask him something about one of the forms he'd completed, when he stopped short. On the bed was a thoroughly debauched-looking Squalo, long silver hair messily sprawled around his head, and covered in a very thin sheet which began just below his belly button, leaving little to the imagination. His exposed, pale torso was marred by darker markings, some with what looked like bite marks.
As both men regarded each other with growing horror (noted by the sudden absence of color on Tsuna's face and the sudden increase of it on Squalo's), the door to the room's bathroom opened.
"So, you said you had a new sword technique to show me- Oh, hey Tsuna!" out walked Yamamoto, only a towel covering the lower portion of his body.
Tsuna had to remind himself to breathe as water droplets crept down tantalizing skin. Opening and closing his mouth a few times in a very poor imitation of a fish, Tsuna's previously white-as-linen cheeks suddenly flushed red.
"I''lljustleavenowbye!" out the door he rushed, running into servants and other Family members before barricading himself in his office. Tsuna then stayed in there for the next two hours before Reborn was able to coax (read: threat) him out.
For the next few days, he could not look at either his Rain Guardian or the Varia Captain. Yamamoto smiled as usual and asked him what was wrong. Squalo pointedly stiffened and glared at him more than usual. In all honesty, although Tsuna was supremely embarrassed, he could not say it was unexpected, and thus after a few days of awkwardness between the three, life moved on. Tsuna thought that would be the end of it. Oh, how wrong he was.
His second hint about something being – well, off, about the sudden cordiality between the two groups took him much more by surprise.
It had been late at night, and Tsuna had been quite sure that everyone except for the night guards had gone off to bed. As usual, Tsuna had been up late dealing with some paper work. He had been surprised and concerned when he noticed that the lights in the training hall were on. Frowning, he instinctively sought his gloves, which were in the right pocket of his suit, before pressing forward.
Opening the door, he gasped at the sight before him. The training room had seen better days, but Tsuna had never seen it in a state nearer to destruction than this. He could even see a hole in the wall to the far left. Gashes marred the walls and all of the weapon stands had been demolished.
Cautiously, Tsuna stepped forward, and tried to peer into the debris. There, in the ground, there seemed to be a figure. Whoever it was, it was alive and capable of movement, but Tsuna could not figure out what, exactly, the figure was doing. Firmly grabbing his gloves, Tsuna decided to call out.
"Hey, you!" the figure abruptly stopped, and looked up.
Tsuna gulped when Hibari's orbs met his. As he looked closer and more attentively, he realized it was not one figure, but two, and neither of them was severely injured. Well, at least they didn't look severely injured. Although the marks on Belphegor's neck and exposed chest certainly gave new meanings to the phrase, 'bite you to death'.
Hibari was still watching him, but at a slight whine from the man below him coupled with what Tsuna could only describe as Belphegor bucking his hips, his Could Guardian's attention once more returned to, ah, more – pressing matters.
Tsuna took advantage of this and hightailed out of there, diving into his bed without changing and having nightmares full of Hibirds and minxes and biting.
Once again, Tsuna was deeply disturbed. However, he figured that both men were quite disturbing and frightening themselves, and well he supposed they needed to vent, somehow. Tsuna did not realize it just yet, but he was simply trying to conserve his sanity, which was on being put the test whenever he noticed Squalo and Yamamoto coming out of Yamamoto's room together, or Belphegor and Hibari missing certain meetings.
By his third hint, Tsuna was slightly more concerned for his Guardian's safety, and his own sanity.
Tsuna, once more, had late work, and he had gone to the kitchen in search of a midnight snack in order to keep working. When he neared the room, he heard strange sounds, and assumed someone was in pain.
Imagine his surprise, then, when he wrenched open the door and came upon the sight of Lambo, splayed out on the kitchen table and surrounded by cakes and strawberries, shirtless and with cream smeared all over his chest. As Tsuna gaped, Mammon crawled up his Thunder Guardian and licked it all off. Then, the illusionist turned his gaze towards the man at the door, ignoring Lambo's embarrassment (in the form of red cheeks and "wait, Mammo-oooh~") and licking his own lips before swallowing all of the cream and saying,
"Sorry, we're a bit busy, come back later maybe?"
"Er- right, sorry," blushing, Tsuna quickly scooted out of the room and, once again, ran a mad dash to his office. He then spent most of the night hidden under his desk.
Now, thus far, Tsuna had not really been too concerned. Even when he found Lussuria and Ryohei the next day in one of the larger bathrooms, Tsuna figured he could explain the infatuation. Squalo and Yamamoto had been flirting back and forth for ages. Hibari and Belphegor were both psychopaths and dangerous. Lambo seemed to attract all of the Arcobaleno like moths to a flame, so Mammon's interest was easy to understand (and Tsuna did not want to think about that much more – Lambo was still a kid in his eyes!). Lussuria could have very well coerced and then managed to get Ryohei interested enough.
Thus far, Tsuna had been able to reason it all out. The last vestiges of his sanity were holding out just fine. But it was this, that was the last straw.
Tsuna had gone back to the conference room to look for something he thought he had forgotten, only to run into a sight he'd much rather have not seen.
Fran, Mukuro's protégé and member of the Varia, his frog hat lost as well as most of his clothing except for his briefs, with Gokudera, Tsuna's own Storm Guardian and right-hand man, shirtless and contently sitting on Fran's lap as they kissed, as an amused Mukuro held his own protégé securely against his chest, sitting on Tsuna's chair. Mukuro himself seemed to be only wearing his long boots and black coat.
Before Mukuro's hands could move to divest Fran of his last piece of clothing (as Tsuna could eagerly see them on their way to do), he squeaked.
The three men turned to the source of the sound then, and for a breathless moment they all just stared. Then Gokudera sprang to action, apologizing profusely for soiling the Tenth's chair before insisting they move to the bedroom. Fran followed suit, lazily grabbing his things as he clearly put on a show for the other two men before scurrying out of the room, a still-apologizing Gokudera hot on his heels. Mukuro followed soon after, chuckling and thankfully wearing his own underwear.
As the three men left the room, something within Tsuna broke. The last pieces of his sanity crumbled, and fell to the ground, no more than dust. A bright, orange flame appeared on his forhead, and his hands were encased in his X-Gloves.
"XAAAANXUUUUS!" the yell reverberated through the mansion, and all of its occupants trembled in fear of the Tenth's hitherto unknown rage.
Meanwhile, the man in question returned to the mansion after having taken a nap with his loyal liger, only to be met with fire and ice. Never one to back off from a challenge, Xanxus quickly pulled out his guns and, grinning, prepared to meet Tsuna's fire head-on.
The fight resulted in property damage on both ends, and a very disappointed Timoteo who insisted that the two sort out their problems by themselves. This resulted in the aforementioned situation: the Tenth Boss of the Vongola, and the Varia head, having pasta with wine for dinner.
Tsuna continued squirming uncomfortably in his seat, trying and failing to meet the eyes of the man before him. While his rage had lasted he had not been nearly as timid before the Varia head, however, now that he'd reverted back to normal, not only was he entranced by Xanxus, he was also deeply ashamed of himself. Although Xanxus had not really tried to initiate conversation (it seemed that, as usual, the burden would fall on Tsuna), Tsuna could tell the man was curious about what had thrown the normally shy, quiet Vongola Boss into such a state of unbridled anger. And Tsuna, for once, was not willing to share.
So the two had sat, eating quietly, as Tsuna reddened and squirmed and Xanxus watched, amused, wondering when his Boss (for as much as he denied it, such was the case) would cave.
"Um," oh, Xanxus wondered, now?
"Um I- I just wanted to…to apologize. For, um, earlier, I mean…uh, yeah," Tsuna reddened further, berating himself for how lame and unprofessional he sounded and oh, Xanxus' eyes really were a beautiful shade of red, huh? And- wait, when'd Xanxus get this close?
Startled, Tsuna nearly started hyperventilating when the Varia boss used his own napkin to swipe of some left over crumbs of food from his lips.
"Crumbs. Was annoying," Xanxus helpfully provided, shrugging of his actions as if they were nothing. Tsuna, on his part, gaped, because really, did the man have no idea whatsoever the effect he had on him, or how devastatingly sexy he looked with his shirt unbuttoned just so and his arms flexed and-
Screw it, Tsuna thought.
Xanxus was only slightly surprised when he found himself with a lapful of Sawada Tsunayoshi, who was in the process of coaxing his own tongue out to play. With a growl, Xanxus took over the kiss, picking up Tsuna almost effortlessly and walking in the general direction of the bedroom.
-o-
The Varia, Vongola's independent assassination squad, upon hearing of how Timoteo had decided to deal with the repairs this time, set themselves their own mission: seduce the Vongola Tenth Generation so that they'll receive the repair money.
The result of the mission? Success. After slowly taking down (read: seducing) the Guardians one by one, Xanxus' final win over the Boss allowed them to pass on all the costs of the repairs to the main Family.
On the bills Tsuna and his Guardians received, was the message,
From the Varia, with love.
A/N. hahaha, the Varia are sneaky ones, yes they are. i couldn't really make it all fluffy and lovely could i? the end is slightly bittersweet to me, and now i want the Vongola boys to get their revenge, but idk.
also, sorry about the poorly alluded to fight scene between Tsuna and Xanxus. as much as i wish i could write action, it only happens on occasion, and that scene simply did not want to happen.
i have the sudden urge to write ArcobalenoxLambo fic though, what.
as usual, concrit, flames and reviews are all appreciated. particularly in terms of characterization, and, in this case, the general pacing and humour of the fic.