notes: this stemmed from a conversation i had with some friends after finding an aesop called "a raven and a swan" on a website called aesopica.
i own nothing.
Wash
Scrutinizing red eyes followed her as she timidly plopped herself down on the bed of black feathers. The lower bits of the feathers were soft and pleasing to the touch, but more often than not she would find herself itching from the stiffer halves. She paid little attention to the discomfort, however. Soft hiccoughs and whimpers escaped her lips, and she curled her legs in to hug around them. The air was tense and silent around her as she waited for her inevitable punishment.
The very thought made her chest hurt.
"If you are afraid that I am going to take your heart," the loud and deep voice boomed, "you needn't worry. For the time being, I have decided to spare you, even though your behavior was otherwise inexcusable tonight."
"I-I'm sorry," she squeaked, closing her eyes and burying it against her knees. "I'll be good…I'll be a good girl…."
She already regretted everything she said that evening. She regretted watching the other little girls playing together, regretted trying to approach them, regretted shouting out that she didn't want to be a raven and would rather be a person to her father in one of her rare tantrums…yes, she regretted everything.
The Raven gave a large sigh, one that seemed to threaten to knock her on her back. "See to it that you keep your vows, Kraehe. I will no longer tolerate having such a disobedient daughter."
"Yes, Father." Her words were small and barely audible, but he evidently registered them anyway, when he chose to abruptly change the subject.
The thin red slits seemed to relax, and the gargantuan beak gave a sharp clack that practically shook her to the core. "Good, my daughter…now straighten yourself, and listen to my words."
Her fear was still evident in her movements, but there was an underlying relief that her heart had been spared this time around. Meekly, she uncurled herself from her position and sat with her legs tucked underneath, placing her hands softly on her knees. She took a moment to wipe the tears from her cheeks before lifting her head and assuring the Raven that he had her undivided attention.
"Now," he began, "I will tell you a story about a foolish Raven, much like yourself."
She wanted to shrink into herself with those words, but forced her eyes to stay on his, however much they wavered.
"This foolish Raven was one who didn't wish to be a raven," her father continued. "Ravens are darker than the blackest night, but this particular raven was enamored by the Swan and was envious of her pure white feathers. Because of his jealousy, the Raven came to the conclusion that he should live like the Swan, thus his own feathers would change and become white."
Her father narrowed his eyes at her, and she shifted in her seat, feeling the guilt wash over her. The Raven rarely ever told her stories, and she could tell that he was still angry with her from the way he described the Raven from the story.
"Convinced that he could achieve his goal, the Raven then abandoned his home in the forest and followed the Swan. The Raven lived in the lake and wet marsh, ate nothing but weeds, and washed himself. Every day, he would do nothing but wash himself for hours at a time, in the hopes of scrubbing the blackness right out of his feathers. He would stay in the lake until he nearly drowned, and because ravens were not supposed to eat weeds, the foolish Raven could not be sustained. He grew thinner and thinner until one day he finally wasted away…and died."
After that, the Raven paused, letting the story sink in to the girl. She swallowed nervously, dropping her gaze to her hands.
"Look at me, Kraehe," he demanded.
She blinked a few times before willing her head to rise once more, curling her fingers into her dress. With that, the Raven began his lecture, speaking swiftly and loudly.
"Very much like that foolish Raven, Kraehe, you will never cleanse the blackness from your feathers. You are a raven. You may have been born into this hideous human body, but do not let that fool you for one second. You are a raven through and through. My daughter. NOT," he boomed, "a person."
Without meaning to, her body shivered for a few moments before she gave a shy nod. "Y…yes, Father," she whispered.
.o.
Her fingers toyed with the hem of her dress as she watched with curious eyes. The man who saved her leaned back against the tree, breathing deeply and appearing to be very worn out.
For just a moment, her tinted eyes glanced down to his sword—the very blade that protected her from the flock of ravens that threatened to take her heart to her father. She could see the hilt decorated with two beautiful swans, and for just a split second she admired them.
"Who are you?" he asked, and she started.
"I—" she paused, remembering what her father always told her. And she was feeling the same as she did when she found those girls playing together. She didn't want to tell the truth. "I'm not…I'm not a crow!" Whether or not her claim was suspiciously specific, the man did not say. He merely listened. "My name is K…ra…ru…Rue…." With that, she spoke more strongly. "My name is Rue!"
And somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered her father's words.
You will never cleanse the blackness from your feathers.
She didn't linger on it, however. She wasn't…she wasn't trying to cleanse herself or anything! She just wanted to be called a different name by one person. That didn't mean she was trying to push away everything she knew!
It didn't….
.o.
Several feathers fluttered about as she leaned against the tree, hiding her face behind one of her hands.
Ahiru was…Ahiru was a fool. She always had been, but this only reinforced it. It was ridiculous that she would find a need to climb all the way on the roof, if nothing more than to tell her that she was really….
There is no Rue. That girl never existed. She was nothing more than a silly façade.
She clenched her fingers, sliding her back down against the bark and sitting in the grass. Ahiru was a fool, and…so was she.
It was hopeless of her to live under that name. To forget all of her memories of her father, to convince herself that she was a normal girl whose biggest concern was whether or not she's practiced enough for the next recital, to think that she and Mytho would be together and happy forever….
Her father was right. She couldn't cleanse herself. Just because she went by a different name did not change the fact that she was truly a raven. Nothing could change it—and she tried to sustain herself on false memories for years, and now it felt like she was thinning out. And she would have continued to thin, until she finally withered away and died….
A small part of her mind wondered if it would have been better that way, but she shook it off.
She was Kraehe. She will always be Kraehe. A raven born into a human body, foolish and ashamed of her own black feathers.
End