Notes: Thanks to Allthinky for beta'ing, fixing the rhythm of the words and the logic of the emotions, and generally making it more readable.
"Kelly?"
Warm cocoon of sleep disrupted, Kelly shifts, eyes closed. "Mm?"
"Kelly…"
"'m awake," he lies. "Whuzzup?"
"Kelly," his partner says, more urgently.
"I said I'm awake!" He opens his eyes in annoyance, turning over in bed. "Where's the fire?"
"Aw, Kelly…"
Kelly blinks, sitting up, realizing that Scotty isn't awake. He draws breath to say something and wake him, but catches sight of something that freezes him in place.
Scotty's cheeks are wet.
Oh, damn…
And still that broken, anguished voice is calling his name over and over, like a lost soul.
It's humbling, or it would be if he wasn't feeling like a heel. He knows there was nothing he could do – any inkling that he wasn't dead, any hint of foul play, and Scotty would have had a bullet in the brain, and there's no resurrection from that. And yet… and yet the frown that furrows his partner's brow, the grief carved into the sleeping face, the unbelievable, unprecedented tears on the man's cheeks, tell Kelly that this latest charade might have resulted in a casualty, after all.
"No – he's not dead. My partner doesn't die!"
His partner's voice hitches, and Kelly looks away, a little ashamed at being the cause of this much suffering. Scotty's cool facade sometimes works too well. It's not the first time he's seen Scotty having a nightmare, but it's the first time he's seen him cry. And he knows too well that if it weren't for the defenselessness of sleep, he wouldn't be seeing it this time either.
"…unlatched..."
He wants more than anything to erase the naked grief in Scotty's voice, but he doesn't know how to do it without embarrassing him. Or both of them, Kelly reasons, sitting helplessly on his own bed, watching Scotty thrash about. If he woke and found I'd been watching, oh, he'd be just thrilled.
Scotty grimaces, and that lost tone starts up again. "Ah, Kel, I told you to leave the door…"
"I did." Kelly can't stand it any more. "I'm alive, I'm here, it's all right, Scotty, all right, you got that, Jack?"
"…killed…" comes the helpless confession. "All these years and I was the one…"
Kelly comes up off the bed to kneel by his partner. For a moment he's afraid to wake him; but, he reminds himself, since when does Scotty 'read' him as a threat? Heaven knows Kelly's given up trying to keep his partner's reactions sharp by sneaking up on him, because Scotty's response to Kelly isn't any indicator of the man's general reflexes. I won't wake him, it would take a four-alarm fire to wake him, he convinces himself, bringing his face close to Scotty's head on the pillow. "I'm all right, Jack," he breathes. "Scotty. I'm here, man. I'm okay, partner, I'm alive, I'm right here, man, you got that?"
Scotty's torment is painful to watch. "...aw, Kel…"
"Right here, man, right here, I'm alive, I'm alive, Scotty." He tries for a smile. "I faked it, man, remember? Faked it for your cover. And you weren't too happy about it, either, remember?"
The dark face crumples, the wetness silver in the faint light, and Kelly's gut twists. "Don't go 'way, man."
He has to swallow hard before he can speak. "No way, Dobbsie ..." At the distress still in Scotty's face, he takes a breath and whispers, "Not gettin' rid of me that easy, Fred C. I'm right here, not going anywhere. Alive and kicking, in the flesh, right here all the time. Just look round and you'll see me crowdin' you and making your life a misery, pally. Dig?"
There's another hitching breath, and a relieved exhalation. "Alive… "
"Yeah, yeah, walking and talking and all that jazz tends to be harder if you're not, you know?"
"Kelly." It's hardly more than a sigh.
"Right here. Right here with ya, Jack." He studies the sleeping face. "Now, how's about you dream of Vicky, somethin' fun, hmm? But keep it clean, someone else has to share the room, you know?"
The lines of torment are fading, Scotty's features relaxing. "Y'…all right."
"Still me, still here. Not leaving till you kick me out, man. Right with you. Right here. I'm alive, you got that? Alive."
"Alive." It's borne on a breath.
"I'm alive, Jack. I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm alive." He keeps up the litany until his partner's features are smooth and calm, and he's sleeping peacefully.
Sobered, Kelly climbs back into bed. He knows that Scotty cares for him, of course he does, but seeing his grief has come as a shock, for all that. Perhaps he'd better be more careful in future. After all, the last thing in the world he wants is to make Scotty unhappy.
He hopes Scotty will return the favor.