Run, Suga, run
a BTS fanfic (YoonMin):
Sometimes he looked at the younger one, secretly longing to be caught, so his agony would end. But, Jimin's gaze never met his on time and Suga's courage faded too soon. Frequently, the rapper used to think about how much different his life would be if only Namjoon hadn't forced him to share a room with Jimin. This thought shunted in: if only he hadn't apprehended Jimin for taking the haters online too seriously… then maybe he wouldn't have ended a whole month's worth of sleeping in the same bed and noticing details about Jiminie that he hasn't seen before. Just like the way Jimin bit his lips when he focused on crack ARMY's tweets in English or how shiny were his eyes when he ate Choco mint ice cream, which he swore only eat due to penalties but he secretly loved it. For a long time, Suga believed that Jimin was forcing himself to act as a cute guy. Later, he understood that Jimin was the definition of cuteness itself. The rapper never cared so much about the sweet dancer being touchy with everyone, until now. Daily hugs with Jungkook, clinging onto Tae's arm as he laughed embarrassed, it bothered him. Just watching Jimin behave that way, always fluttering around the other five members. Every time the dancer hugged any of them, Suga couldn't help himself but say some bitter comment about it. And Jimin just laughed at him, clinging tightly onto them. J-Hope, in particular, was the one who played the most at friendly caresses and said playful lines… "Ehh, Jimin, you're so cute, how can you be so sweet?", "Come here, Jimin, let me hug you", "Uhh, Jimin you're so hot~". It was almost painful to watch their videos. Hoseok used to put him in a good mood, but now it felt weird just to watch it. In a way, he had become into his torturer.
Suga sighed as he sank in his own chair. It was two A.M. and his place has never been so quiet. He looked at his keyboard feeling incredibly tiny and dumb. If only he could talk like the others. Act like the others. Then it would be natural at the eyes of everyone that his hands were all the time running over Jimin's body.
"If…" a new possibility made an echo into his head.
… If only his personality was more permissive, no suspicious would arise to act too clingy with the dancer. Once again, the line of thoughts that started blaming Namjoon marched past through his mind, immersing him in a frustrating loop, where Jimin looked as unattainable as the firmament.
- Uhhhggg- he growled.
Suga watched his own reflection on the computer screen. Damn, when he had become into Minami, suffering as he listened "Run"? The silence and loneliness late at night used to do him well. However, now the time he spent with his own thoughts only make him feel insecure and full of stupid jealous. Suga thought how everything could be fixed if only Jimin… if only him… Yoongi covered his face with both hands. How could a month have ruined everything? Before that, Jimin's smile didn't mess with him. Suga sighed again. Perhaps that incident had been only the spark that unleashed his true feelings. Just like a glass of water about to spill with only one more drop. A soft knock at the door brought him back to his senses, stopping the torment.
-… who?- he asked with a raspy voice as a greeting.
- Jimin- Suga heard him say as Jiminie opened the door.
Suga glanced at him and then he focused on the keyboard, his fingers began to dance over it.
- Why are you awake?- he asked, pretending not to care. Jimin licked his lips. That was an unconscious action, something that Jimin didn't notice most of the time, but it wasn't the same for Yoongi.
- I… thought come to check you. See if you're okay. Uhm… am I bothering you?-he laughed nervously, combing his hair with a hand-… you look tired, can I do something for you, Suga hyung? Want a massage?
His fingers froze, incapables of keep going with the melody. Jimin's smile got bigger as he played with his own fingers. He tried to play it cool, so Yoongi looked to the other side, his throat was dry. A "go away" could work. He could say it and the bubbles inside his stomach would disappear, leaving him again to keep falling into the void of "suffering » that was well described by Run. Or nodding and pretending he was fine with it, letting Jimin get closer and–
Then he heard a chuckle just behind the dancer. It took him just a fraction of a second to process what was happening. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, noticing the anger taking over his face.
- … is that Tae?
Jimin's eyes widened, incapable of holding back his laugh. He turned towards the door right away, trying to be mad at his accomplice.
- Ahh!, I told you to be quiet, why you had to laugh?
- You looked dumb, that's all- he answered as he popped in-. Hi.
The camera in V's hand reasserted what Suga had thought. The rapper made spin his chair in order to face them. Jimin hit Tae's shoulder with a soft blow. They laughed at each other.
- You two, get out.
V started to run without stop filming. Jimin wrinkled his nose, still smiling.
- Sorry… I lost against Kookie.
-Out.-Suga repeated, his eyes focused on the screen. Jimin laughed shyly. After a brief moment in silence, the younger one spoke again.
- I could give you a massage if you want. You look tense.
- Thought you said "tired" before. Now leave.
-Tired and tense- Jimin got closer, starting to play with his fingers once again- I promise I won't tell that you say yes to the massage, Suga. Really.
He used his better poker face. The anger had faded as it never had existed before. However, butterflies had filled his stomach. His eyes lied on Jimin for a second. Clearly, he was lying. But more obvious it was how cute he looked wearing that ridiculous pajama of BT21. Jimin licked his lips absentmindedly. Now they were alone. Suga tilted his head. He hadn't any strength left to keep avoiding him, neither to resist his closeness. It was like drowning. He wanted Jimin to leave and at the same time, Suga wished for him to stay. Yoongi bit his lip. Just one more try… one more… That would be the last shot to push him away. Jimin couldn't be that stubborn… right? Usually, he would have run along with Tae, both of them fearful for their lives. But that fact could change if Jimin's competitive mode was on. So, Yoongi stood up and with his gaze upon the younger one, he said with a harsh tone "get out".
It was like seeing a scared puppy running away. Jimin crossed the doorway with amazing speed, laughing loudly until he squeaked.
Once again, he was alone.
Yoongi felt his legs weak and let himself fall on the chair. He looked at the door, feeling frustrated. It was enough for that night, he would go to sleep. Suga couldn't handle a second round. He closed his eyes, visualizing Jimin. That silly pajama, his messy hair, the way he licked his lips, his ridiculous short pinkies…
-… uhg, Jimin sexy…
He opened the eyes as soon as he heard himself say it. The sentence had escaped through his mouth like a fugitive. And as he did it, Yoongi felt his heart shrink. He watched in horror a pair of eyes wide open looking back at him. Standing at the doorway, holding a cam, J Hope was smiling.
They looked at each other for a second. Hoseok glanced at the cam and then at him.
- Hey Suga. Wanna play Tag?
The chair fell to the floor. J hope's laugh filled the hall.
End.