Dedicated to my brother, who passed away March 3, 2019. I wish I could have protected you.
Dean didn't have to drive far to find what he needed. He'd found the old dirt road that went to nowhere not long after they had moved into the bunker and now it offered him the solitude he desired. He parked the Impala at the end of the road and sat there for a moment but even his beloved car brought back memories of his mom and the thought of her being gone was almost too much for him to bear.
Dean flung open the door and gasped, as if the cool night air was what he needed to make him forget…..but it wasn't. There was nothing to make him forget. There was no comfort for him. He'd wished for his mom his entire life and now…..once again…..she was gone. But this time, oh, god, this time…..it hurt so much more.
He stumbled to a fallen tree and sat down heavily before succumbing to the tears that he'd held back all evening. All their lives they had sacrificed so much….why the hell couldn't they have just this one damn thing? Was it really too much to ask?
Dean covered his face with a trembling hand, wishing he could stop the images running through his mind. His mom was gone…..he pressed the heel of his hand to his head, the sobs coming harder now….he knew she was in Heaven but the little boy inside him didn't care. He wanted her here. He needed her here. He should have been able to save her….he should have found a way to bring her back.
There wasn't even enough left of her to bring her back.
That thought brought fresh tears, along with resolve.
Jack has to be stopped.
The kid had become like family and Dean knew he'd turned a blind eye to some things concerning Jack…..because with family, that's what you do. He'd wanted to believe the best…..that Jack could be good…..and he was. He had healed Sam when Dean was sure his brother was going to die. But then almost in the same breath, Jack killed the only person in the world who meant as much to him as Sam. Jack was a loose cannon and Dean couldn't let him hurt anyone else.
I have to protect Sammy.
Dean wiped at his tears, knowing what he had to do. They still had the Ma'lak box. Somehow they had to get Jack inside. That would contain him. It would stop him from hurting anyone else…from hurting Sam…..because if that happened….NO. He would NOT let that happen. He would keep Sam safe, no matter the cost. He wasn't going to lose his brother…..he couldn't. And suddenly he didn't want to be alone anymore…..the solitude he'd longed for was now too much. He made his way back to the Impala and floored the gas pedal as he headed toward the bunker…..back to Sam…..the same thought echoing through Dean's head all the way home: I will protect my brother if it's the last thing I do.
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