A/N: This was written for the "Chit-Chat at Author's Corner" forum challenge #2. I was assigned Rossi-Morgan, and the song "Teach Your Children" performed by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, written by Graham Nash.
This is about Dave Rossi's observation of a budding (slash) relationship between Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan, and the advice he has to offer.
Hope you like it, please review!
Seds
xoxoxox
Dave Rossi had concerns... Concerns about Spencer Reid. As an expert profiler (and a man who'd been around the block a few times), he couldn't help but notice certain behaviors that were, in his opinion, indications of foolish choices that the young man was about to make in his personal life. Rossi felt compelled to offer a little fatherly advice before the kid subjected himself to a lot of pain, or perhaps even put his career in jeopardy.
Although, Hotch didn't support the idea.
Rossi had spoken to Aaron about it, only to be reminded of the team's informal agreement not to profile one another. That, and the fact that it was "none of his business." Clearly, Hotch had not been raised by an Italian-Catholic mother; Rossi had been brought up to believe that it was the responsibility of the elders in an organization to look out for the younger, more vulnerable members. They were, in fact, obliged to offer guidance, asked for or not, whenever they observed one of their number heading off in a wrong direction. And, he could see that Reid was floating into dangerous waters, emotionally speaking. With Reid being more vulnerable than most, Rossi definitely felt a sense of responsibility toward him.
He'd noticed the behavior began shortly after the gunshot Reid had taken to his leg. Rossi supposed it wasn't surprising that the boy had felt overwhelmed by suddenly facing a mobility challenge. It wasn't so odd that he had asked Derek Morgan to stay with him for a few days while he got used to his crutches and made it past the worst of the pain, which he suffered without the use of narcotic pain relievers. It wasn't even odd that Morgan had agreed to do it-everyone knew he regarded Reid as a little brother (an annoying one, sometimes, but still...) and he had no family at home, other than Clooney.
What was odd was Reid's newfound attitude toward Morgan. On several occasions, Rossi had caught him gazing at Morgan with a wistful smile on his face. He'd noticed how, when handing Morgan a file, or accepting a cup of coffee from him, he would allow his fingers to trail over the other man's hand, or the way he would put his own hand on Morgan's shoulder in an overly-chummy, very unReid-like expression of camaraderie.
Rossi had deduced that Reid had a crush on Morgan.
And, he felt the need to take the boy aside and warn him that he was barking up the wrong tree, that young gay men who fall for older straight guys are doomed to a special kind of heartbreak, and that it would be extremely advisable for him to seek romance elsewhere, or at least to focus on work instead of eyeing Morgan's rear end as he walked out of a room, or managing to sit so close to him on the BAU plane that their thighs touched.
Rossi reflected on all of these thoughts as he stood just outside the break room, watching the kid read a book while eating a sandwich. He had just made the determination that this might be a good opportunity to have a chat with him, when Morgan entered the room from the side door. Reid looked up and a huge smile crossed his face. He put down first his book, then his sandwich, and cheerfully greeted the other agent.
"Hi, Morgan."
"Hey, kid. Whatcha eating?"
"Ham and cheese. You want half?" He held up a triangle of sandwich.
"No, that's okay. You need to get some meat on your bones." Then, much to Rossi's surprise, Morgan reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from Reid's face. If he'd tousled the boy's hair, or if he'd playfully punched Reid on the arm, that would have been typical Morgan behavior. But, this-this tender gesture... He lovingly slipped the strand behind Reid's ear; then, proceeded to allow his fingertips to trace a line along Reid's cheekbone down to his mouth, regretfully pulling back just before he touched the full lower lip.
Like a scientist adding a catalyst to a chemical reaction, Rossi cleared his throat.
Just as he'd expected, both men stiffened and Morgan bounded back, heading for the coffee pot on the counter. Reid hastily picked up his book, then his sandwich, and returned to his earlier posture. Rossi strode in, and joined Morgan at the coffee pot, allowing no indication of his observations to be communicated to either of his co-workers. He made some idle remark about wondering where the hell Hotch had wandered off to, when the man himself stuck his head in and announced that there'd been a break in the case, and that he needed everyone in the conference room in five.
xoxoxox
Thirty minutes later, Hotch, Prentiss, Reid and JJ were off to set up shop in an office building where the unsub was thought to have worked. Reid had been assigned to go through several years' worth of personnel files, while the others would be conducting interviews. Rossi and Morgan were being sent to examine a house where the unsub allegedly had been staying for the last six months, in hopes of finding clues to his current whereabouts.
As Morgan strode ahead to the SUV, Rossi watched his bearing and his manner. He'd never have taken the man to be bisexual, but he supposed it made sense. Sometimes, such leanings were buried so far below the surface that the individual was unaware that they were even there. Then, some event might come along, and everything would hit the person right in the face. Rossi didn't doubt that Morgan's tending to his injured colleague might qualify as such an event.
He made no attempt to wrangle the keys from Morgan. Let him drive, he thought, it would be good to keep him focused on something other than what Rossi had to say to him. And, he'd long ago become comfortable enough with his alpha male-ness not to engage in testosterone-fueled battles such as who would take the wheel on a road trip. Instead, he began going over what, exactly, he wanted to say, and how he planned to say it. He took the passenger seat, and grinned when Morgan said, "No argument over who gets to drive?"
"You'll do a fine job, I'm sure." He flipped the radio on to a light jazz station and sat back. The pair discussed the case for a while; then they slipped into a comfortable silence. They had a long way to go, and Rossi was waiting for just the right moment to begin.
"So, Derek-how's your love life?"
Morgan kept his hands on the wheel, but he shot a glance at the man seated beside him. It was a weird question, out of left field, and it was... such an "old guy" phrase.
Morgan shrugged. "No complaints." He didn't elaborate; obviously, the man had somewhere to go with this, and Morgan thought it best to get it over with, whatever it was.
Rossi waited a few beats, then asked, "What happened to that little blonde from HR? She used to bring the paychecks up herself, just so she'd have an excuse to flirt with you. I haven't seen her lately. Not since... Reid got hurt." He stared straight ahead.
Morgan took another look at Rossi's impassive face. "Yeah, well-guess she lost interest, or something."
"Mm. Maybe you should run downstairs sometime and see what she's up to. Keep your options open, so to speak."
"Uh... sure, maybe so. Sometime."
The air between them seemed to grow warmer. Rossi took a breath.
"Derek-may I tell you a story?"
Morgan grimaced. He didn't need this. Rossi had absolutely no business putting him on the spot. If he had picked up on his and Reid's relationship, fine, he didn't care; nothing really had happened yet, anyway. But, it wasn't the older profiler's place to stick his nose into it.
"Rossi, look, do me a favor-just lean back, listen to the music, and grab a quick nap or something. You'll feel better."
"I really think you need to hear what I have to say."
"I disagree."
"I'd like to tell you about something that happened to me many years ago."
"Come on, man, I don't know what you think you know, but-"
"I've made a few observations lately, and I'd really like to tell you my story. Please."
Morgan sighed. "Fine... Go ahead."
"I was twenty-three years old. I had just been recruited from the Marines by the FBI. I was dating a lovely girl, and my mother had finally gotten over the realization that I was never going to become a priest." He raised an eyebrow, and Morgan couldn't help but smile.
"You, a priest. That's pretty damn funny."
"Yes, I thought so. Well, anyway, I met a woman named Meg who worked in one of the other departments. Beautiful. Quite brilliant, and a marvelous sense of humor, too. To say I fell for her would be an understatement. There was just one small problem-she was married."
Rossi cast a glance at Morgan, making sure that he was listening. Morgan nodded. "That's rough, man."
"Yeah. Well, this was twenty-five years ago. Things were different then, especially in the FBI. Especially in my family, in my church. She was Catholic, too. The thought of a woman leaving her husband for another man was nothing short of scandalous. We indulged in an affair, but that wasn't enough for me. I wanted her in my life. I wanted to... We talked about it so many times. About running off together. Leaving the church, leaving our families, leaving our work-starting over, going somewhere that no one knew us. It was so tempting, Derek. We came so close to risking everything. But-we didn't. And, do you know why?"
Morgan pursed his lips. "Okay, I'll bite. Why?"
"Responsibility. She had a responsibility to her husband, I had a responsibility to my family, and to go with our desires would have hurt a lot of people, not to mention that it could have taken us away from the careers we'd both worked so hard to develop."
"You're all about self-control, aren't you, Rossi? All right. Let's quit beating around the bush-what brought this up? Just come right out and say it."
"I think you're on the verge of having an affair with Spencer Reid."
Morgan stared out the windshield toward the horizon. Was the attraction between them that obvious? It wasn't as hard to hear the words as he'd imagined it would be, but it still stung. They'd tried to be careful, to keep their private lives, private, while they figured things out. He supposed he'd known that it was a foolish hope, given that they worked alongside people trained to notice the subtleties human beings can't help but give away about themselves, but he'd counted on everyone to mind their own business, for a little while longer, at least. Leave it to Rossi to take it upon himself to play high school counselor.
"Well, good job, senior profiler."
Rossi smirked slightly. "I saw the two of you in the break room this morning. One doesn't have to be a profiler to pick up on the signals you two were giving each other."
"I'm guessing this is of concern to you because you think if we keep going in this direction, that we're going to wreck our careers?"
"I think it's possible."
"So, I should just ignore what my heart's telling me and stick to the path everyone expects me to walk."
"May I finish my story?"
Morgan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, go for it."
"We tried to let each other go. We tried to live the lives we knew we were supposed to be living. But, it was too hard, seeing each other in the hall, at meetings, in the elevator. She found another job, and finally persuaded her husband to take a transfer, then they left the state. I never saw her again."
"Well, that's great. So, you had your sense of righteousness to keep you warm for the next twenty-five years-"
"No, Derek. I was miserable. I married the wrong woman-three of them, actually-in the hopes that I could create something close to what I'd had with Meg, but it never worked. I buried myself in my job, I drank, I-I gave up a chance for real happiness because I didn't have the guts to face the consequences."
Morgan gave him a puzzled look. "So, what are you telling me?"
"I'm telling you not to be afraid. I'm telling you not to let your fears destroy something very precious to you."
"Dave-are you saying that me and Reid should just... go for it?"
"I'm saying, do not let fear stand in the way of you and true happiness. You can always get another job. Do you really think you'll ever find another Spencer?"
Morgan laughed. "No, I don't think there's anyone in this world that'd even come close."
"I whole-heartedly agree. And, Derek-don't let too much time go by. You never know what can happen, especially in our business."
The somber thought struck Morgan hard. He nodded. "Well-thanks, man. You've given me something to think about."
"Good. You know, earlier, in the break room-I was just about to tell Reid to stop mooning over you. But, when I saw you with him, I realized-his feelings are not without reciprocation." Rossi smiled.
"No... I've always had a thing for him, but I never thought we had a chance together. Then, after he got shot, I finally got to spend some time with him away from the job, and everything sort of... began to make sense." Morgan gave Rossi a sheepish grin and visibly relaxed. It felt good to talk about it.
Rossi nodded. "Well, best of luck to you. You two would make a cute couple."
"Ha ha. I wonder what the rest of the team would think. Not to mention my mom..."
"It'll all work out."
"I hope so."
"It will. Trust me."
Morgan made a dismissive sound, but the funny thing was, he did trust him. Rossi was right. He thought of all the time he and Reid had wasted because of their fears and hesitation, and Morgan made a mental note to sit down with him that very evening and tell him exactly how he felt. He wasn't going to waste another minute pretending that their feelings were nothing more than a casual attraction.
They drove on, each occupied with his own thoughts, when suddenly Morgan said, "You ever try to contact her?"
"Excuse me?"
"Meg. It's been twenty-five years. Might be worth seeing what she's up to, you know?"
"You think so?"
"Yeah. I mean, you never know-a lot can happen in twenty-five years."
"I'll think about it. Thanks. I've never allowed myself to even consider it, but when you said it just now-maybe it's not such a bad idea."
"Yeah, man. It's never too late to try. Trust me." Morgan shot a broad grin at the older man, and Rossi settled back, turning the thought over in his mind. Maybe he'd get Garcia to do a search for him, see where Meg was now, and if she was still married. Maybe he'd contact her, just to say hello. Maybe they'd decide to get together, see if there was anything left of the people they used to be. Maybe Morgan was right. A lot can happen...
Ah, the optimism of youth. Maybe that was the trade-off for gaining the wisdom of experience-losing the belief that anything is possible.
But, a good teacher always learns from his students.
Maybe it was a good thing he understood that he still had a lot to learn.
xoxoxox
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by...