*Break mode on* My oh my! *Break mode off* I've been absent so long from Pandora Heart's fandom it's a shame. I swear it was never my intention, but… *random excuses about tiredness and a mess of a personal life*. Luckily I've been recovering from my abstinence lately, fanfics you've–thanks God- uploaded during my absence and everything, and even got to work a little myself! Finally… Okay, so I've got a shame of a number of stories uploaded, but I'm continuing on the on-long-story that's draining all m y brains and inspiration so there's my excuse.

This is just a little short story that came up to me during a conversation with my bf –you wouldn't believe how things actually were… - and just decided to give it a try while I rested from hours of re-reading and correcting the first chapter of my other story. I'm not sure as to how well I've finally done, but I'd love to hear you opinions. Kind of finished it in a hurry, but still… It could be continued or something, just you tell me, any advice will be gladly received.
Btw, I'm seriously sorry for any horrible mistake on my writing, English's my beloved 2nd language but I'm a little out of practice as regards writing, so… Yeah, I'll shut up and let you read peacefully.

Thanks already for coming all the way here to read this

Btw, read from chapter 46 onward today's morning (I had no clue which had been the last chapter I'd read, around 60), so I just decided to reread al the latest ones, for there's never enough Pandora Hearts, an well, I'm still about to cry –not literally, but my heart pained, honestly. And I've somehow realized I turned all my hatred towards Vincent into love. Ok, just wanted to share that, now let's get to the story before you punch me) )

Insecurities

Yawning wide and free after a quite boring class he's been forced to attend, the young heir to the Vessalius house made his way into one of the many fine spare rooms of the Rainsworth mansion, only to find the object of most his daily thought in there.

- Say Gil! I'm so lucky I found you before I could even realise I was about to start looking for you, am I not?

For an only answer, he saw golden shocked eyes turning towards him, and slowly start to soothe as their owner recognised exactly which person had just entered the room he was at. However, Oz would have expected his face to enlighten more after his having calmed down.

Anyway, he simply decided to take it as a hint of his little Gil (even if the man was about 9 year older, technically) not having a very lovely day and gaily approached his adorable recently found lover until the distance between them was nowhere above a foot. Generally, by this point, the raven-haired young adult would already have attempted to at least embrace him and give him a few kisses or make their way to a seat so that the height difference would be alleviated. Once more he found much to his surprise that Gil wasn't reacting as he was expected. Instead, his couple contented himself (or not) with kissing him once, effortlessly, and look at him exhaustedly for a second before he shifted his pupils to simply stare into nothing, beyond the point where Oz stood at the moment, before him.

- Gil?

- Uh, oh… Yeah, wanna take a sit?

Mm… Sure?

Finding Gil's behaviour more awkard each time, Oz still decided to simple turn on his heels and head towards the sofa located across the room, in front of them. As many times before, they sat close from each other and Oz took the chance to steal some butterfly kisses from Gil's lips as they sat, to which Gil smiled shyly for a moment.

- So, tell me – Oz continued after a second or two – How was your day?

- Mm… It was ok, I guess – The looks on gil's features as he mumbled his answer gave Oz a good clue that he was getting nearer to the source of all this unexpected angst in huis beloved's expression.

- What did you do, then? – He asked with his best "excited child" looks on.

- As always, paperwork, getting alond with Pandora's madness, tea with Sharon and later Break insisted on mehelping him retrain now that his sight isn't working quite as well as it used to do…

Jackpot, there was the "I'm not so comfortable" glimpse Oz had been expecting. Getting closer to his lover until he could hug him around his upper waist, he encouraged him to continue retelling.

- so how is he doing? – He asked, careful as not to go to far and pull a string that would leave his piece of sunshine unguarded and broken, believing Break's condition was the reason on his preoccupation.

Break? Oh, he's doing fine. Great, in fact. He could even run a good half of a mile as he toyed around during combat.

- Really? He ran away?

- Yeah… no… I mean, he wasn't running away-. You could call it a strategy if he had been able to stop playing and take it seriously...

Oz stared at Gil for a while trying to decode the real meaning behind those words, but even before he could get to an end, the new Nightray heir went on.

-I tried to follow but… I must admit it was a miserable attempt.

-Ccme on Gil, it was simple running half a mile. With your strength…

- Oh you have no idea how loose and lazy my muscles have become. It's a shame, really. I can't believe I'm in such bad shape…

He didn't mean it seriously

-…. Do you?

- I do, it felt so disgusting to find myself so lanky and made of fat instead of the muscles I should have…

What… What a useless servant you've found yourself…

- Gil, don't be silly, you're in great shape!

- Oh you don't have a clue… - He answered harshly, looking away from those emerald eyes that could posses him completely if he let them. Oz couldn't help disagreeing.

- Really Gil, you look great! – Oz exclaimed, placing both hands on the sides of Gils body.

Said raven couldn't but get up and face the opposite wall, embracing himself with his arms defensively.
Oz certainly couldn't believe this had been worrying Gil so much, less when the blond was sure to believe he was in amazing shape and pretty much fit, his body so inviting, warm and safe… Still, apparently, his lover was suffering his good amount due to his believing in the fact he wa s not in the good shape he ought to have.
Slowly, he got up and started approaching the other male, his hands spread before him, in an attempt to hug him.
Gil only sunk more into himself, so full of sorrow and some poisonous self-criticism.

Finally, Oz reached him.

- Gil… How come you feel this way? I mean… - Oz started worriedly, as he ran his arms around the apparently older male's body.

- You have no idea. You're way to good to even think about it but, sincerely, if you'd felt the way my legs weighed as I tried to move today you would be hitting me with some weapon so that I'd eat less and run more…

- Or I'd be telling you I've got more reasons to be right and to simply be happy with this gorgeous body… - Oz replied tenderly but mischievous, as he ran a few finger over the other's chest.

- You have no idea! – Gil shouted, out of control for only a second – I… I… I'm sorry Oz I didn't mean to… It's just… - Gil's voice broke at the middle of the sentence. For a few seconds, everything remained silent as Gilbert sadly denied stopping glaring at the floor, until Oz's light ministrations on his body reached his quite flat belly and he felt the urge to draw back…

- Gil… I…

- I'm sorry I just… I wanna be good enough for you, Bocchan and… -Oz's brain almost stopped right then and there, almost shocked at how helpless and broken his beloved raven looked right now, just like the first time he'd met him as a little and fearful, amnesic kid. And all for such a reason as he would have never imagined! With a little struggle, he could force his attention back on his servant's words while he was still speaking – Young Master's so amazing and I…

- Gil, please stop. – Oz called with serious concern.

Gil looked as if he wanted to respond, though he found himself unable to set forth any reasonable phrase. Looking into his eyes, Oz could read the words "Please save me" clearly burnt on his distressed irises. Upset, he hid himself behind golden bangs as he mentally punished himself for not having done anything to help his lover on this matter before, pr even have a clue about which insecurities haunted his self-doubting mind. Gilbert, who was always aware of his feelings, always looking for him, always…
Meanwhile, Gil could never stop cursing himself for troubling his master and most valued person due to being unable of making himself worth of his love…

-Oz… - He seemed to plead with his voice, longing for the blonde's joy to return to him, on whatever price.

Oz did finally look up, though he still looked solemnly serious. Abruptly he interrupted his servants only word.

- Gil.

Said person looked at him worriedly and guiltily as Oz spread his arms before him. Stabbing his emerald eyes into Gil, he gave a few steps forwards, slowly. Eventually, his eyes softened, and became more of a request for permission. As Gil hesitated when he kept on approaching, Oz insisted, almost whispering.

- Gil… Please?

With a sad look Gilbert sighed and made his mind up as to let his master do as he wanted and face consequences. Everything was better than that look full of anguish.
Delicately, Oz's finger began walking up Gilbert's chest, beginning at his belly button, to end up setting calmly above his shoulders, while followed by Oz's eyes. Looking deeply into Gil's, Oz began taking his jacket off. Gilbert simply surrendered, and soon heard the heavy piece of clothing land with a loud "thump" over the wooden floor. Oz's fingers, then, returned to the middle of his chest and began toying with his shirt's collar, to eventually begin undoing one button after the other.
- - …Please, Gilbert? – He shyly begged, though never stopping…
The Nightray's only answer was to look over to one side and let his beloved one do.

Patiently, Oz kept on unlocking one button after the other, until the white, much lighter fabric was fully set free, and once more slid it down Gilbert's arms, this time caressing as much of his skin as he could while he did so, and getting his own chest to touch Gil's.

This done, he placed a few kisses on Gilbert's neck as the other timidly placed his adult hands on both sides of Oz's body, the latter one clinging to his neck. After the kissing, Oz reopened his eyes and waited to meet golden orbs. Paying full attention to their signals, he stepped back once so that he'd gain better view of the body right before him. Obtaining grander courage, he tenderly grabbed Gil's waist and began sliding his hands from there onwards to Gil's sides, admiring.
Honestly, he found no rational excuse to Gil's insecurities. It was true, his belly wasn't completely flat but had a slight altitude which made even more delicious than it would have been if not. After all, everyone needed a little meat on their body's beyond bones and a thin layer of muscle. It was more, he couldn't help considering Gil's slight prominence something astonishingly cute and lovable. Moving on, he continued to admire the man's fit, well-but-not-exceedingly toned body. Suddenly, Gilbert swallowed hard, making the slightest of sounds, and Oz remembered his being there consciously. Right away, he stepped on his toe-tips and hung on tu his neck, slowly whispering into Gilbert's ear:

- Gil, you're beautiful, don't ever doubt that. I could never think of a more handsome guy, really, and less if you add the fact you're heart was made of pure gold.

Said that, Gil surrounded him with his arms and hugged him strongly, as if wanting to show his master how indispensable he was for him to keep ion living, and kisses him deeply.

Suddenly, an idea struk Oz's mind, as he once more approached his beloved Nightray.

- Gil… - He called once more, though this time, his tone sounded different, more… inviting.

- O- Oz?

Without further response, Oz claimed Gilbert's lips, smoothly, and slowly begun increasing his pace, as he bit Gil's lower lip, slightly pulling towards him again and again. He almost automatically felt Gil's hands grabbing his waist, and, decided to prove the other one how he admired his whole being, Oz held his head between his fingers, entwining them in the evony strands he so-adored. His tongue gracefully requested for Gil's pale lips to part and conquered, little by little, his adored mouth. They began to dance in a hot, sensual ball of want and love. On a moment, Oz's lip ventured under Gil's upper one, and graced that portion of his most beloved one from side to side. Turned on, Gilbert found his opportunity to recover some dominance, which Oz gave up on quite easily. Taking advantage on Gil's new found concentration, and responding eagerly with small caresses and sucking between their tongues, he started walking backwards, dragging Gil along, until he felt the Sofa's arm behind his knees and let himself fall backwards, quite surprising Gil, who looked at him searching for an explanation.

- Oz…?

However, he could only find giggles for an answer, as Oz clung to his shirt and pulled himself up, so that he was still in between Gil's thighs, but sitting to reach his eye-level. Golden orbs scanned his face, still stunned, so he felt it a right moment to speak his minds…

- I just love you, Gil.

Even after having heard those words many times by now, Gil's face still blushed a little, and he felt the need to answer by kissing hungrily Oz's lips, until the blonde's hand pushed him backwards in the gentlest of ways. In those green eyes, there was a change, a much more… serious way, almost of… lust.

Oz shifted even more on top of Gil, spreading his hands all over the other's frame, taking his chance to explore and feel every inch of his skin, eyes closed.

Suddenly, he felt a soft whimper from the other male, and couldn't help feeling unbelievably aroused by one single sound. Addictive. He needed to hear more of it.

Desire taking over him, he rapidly discarded his own vest and shirt to one side. Then unhurriedly, as if suddenly controlled by the spirit of carefulness itself, he slid his hands trough all of the taller man's chest, until he finally reached his nipples.

Laughing almost devilishly, he began enjoying this newfound toy, obtaining all kinds of whimpers, sighs and soft moans from the other.

- Ah, ah! Oz… Hmh…

He got braver, bending down to kiss, lick and bite at Gilbert's chest, as he barely gathered the composure to extend his hands and start caressing Oz's head and back. He even started worrying about how further the teen would desire to go. It wasn't like he didn't want it, or was afraid (I mean, he wasn't completely carefree about the fact, still he felt confident enough at that at least) yet his beloved master was still trapped in the body of a 15 years old, and quite full of insecurities. Thus, he was sure he wouldn't have been so happy-go-lucky at nearly ripping his clothes off if he hadn't been so lost in the moment. After all, they hadn't been in this kind of relationship for so long, even if, regarding his master, time wasn't at all something to regard, but he didn't want Oz to ever regret something they did, not something like that at least, and such an impulsive decision…

His weak thought line was interrupted the moment he realized the blonde's ministrations had ceased, and he was even more shocked once he realized small portions of water falling over his chest. He combed Oz's sweaty bangs backwards over his head to discover his eyes fixed on that scar. That hasty scar he had gotten on the despicable night his piece of sunshine had been taken away from him.

- Oz – He called.

Oz was frozen at the spot. He couldn't help his blood from going sub-zero at the sight he was now awae of- Somehow, he had been able to ignore it's existence before, probably to concentrated in erasing his servants hurtful thoughts, but now he could witness it. He could make out everything in that single mark right before him: his fathers hatred, the Baskervilles, his time in the Abyss, and specially the certainty that he'd probably killed his beloved little servant and best friend, for being such an useless master. Even at the moment, having come back to find Gil an healthy adult, he couldn't understand how he'd survived, or why he wouldn't hate him deeply…

- Oz! – Gil almost screamed, grabbing his head to avert those watery eyes he loved from such an insignificant issue he wished he could erase, making them meet his. If there was something he regretted, was not being able to wipe out that scar from his chest, for it was nothing but a burden for his master. – Oz, please, it's not your fault. Come on, answer… Please, Oz!

More tears kept on draining down the Vessalius heir's cheeks, as he muttered words of self-loathe and resentment.

- Oz, look at me. Oz, look. – Finally he could catch the blonde's attention. – I don't care about that incident. I don't care whether you failed at trying to protect me, it was not your fault, so neither should you care. Please, don't cry. You're back now, I've got you here and I would never let them do such things again. I must be able to. I love you, please…

Os hugged Gil as if both their life's depended on that, and simply whispered an "I love you, too, Gil. Thank you… for everything".
After all, their best ability and purpose was to look after each other.