Disclaimer: All copyrights of Lizardman and company belong to NAMCO.

Note: This is a silly parody, and has no relation whatsoever with the actual story lines of Lizardman or Sophitia. I mean, their styles are so similar [yet different I know] but there's not much link between them. So.

This is also based on a bedtime story I heard a long time ago, and I thought it was sweet.

............

When the girl was much much younger, she was extremely good at climbing. Her parents were composed people, who, if they saw her clamber up the steep crevices of their castle, would just approve admiringly. "Wonderful, Sophi."

One day this peaceful godly family decided to take a summer break from the nifty clouds above and got a sweet little holiday cottage by some sharp cliffs. Sophitia told them she wanted to search for swallows and they agreed. "Wonderful, Sophitia."

The blonde began to climb those cliffs, her tiny hands having perfect grip on the grit and cracks of the rock faces. She was fast and swift, but halfway up she found a small door. It belonged to a huge lizard that was having a very nice long sleep, and he was not pleased at all to be awakened. He glared at her from under his thin, scrappy rag of a blanket, and was not impressed with the little squirt. After all, Sophitia was only nine years old.

He rumbled and snarled, scratching at the scales on his belly.

"What a cute green lizard! No wait.yellow." Said Sophi.

Lizardman, insulted, uttered a colossal echoey roar that reflected itself against the curves of his cave.

"That's a nasty cough you've got." Said Sophi.

He glared at her once more and spurted forth some bad breath. He remembered that maidens and children her age always squealed or cried at the sight of him, nevertheless his pungent breath.

She did not look fazed.

He then eyed her small frame and slightly mussed hair and soft freckles and leather boots. She was too little an appetizer for him.

Sophi looked around the dark putrid grotto. "This place needs airing! It's a little musty."

The enormous man-sized amphibian made a noise like a thousand angry snakes, but was ignored by the little girl, as she pranced about the room inspecting everything else.

"How about a window by the door? A bookshelf with lots of fairy tale stories! And we can hang some pretty pink curtains along this wall, and a painting I can ask from Father." She smiled cheerily, a simple sign of happiness that brightened up the gloom hanging in this cavern.

Lizardman hissed irately.

"Don't frown like that," She fussed over him, "You'll end up with ugly worry lines."

The little goddess fished an apron from a pile of Lizardman's laundry, and stringing it around her petite waist, she proceeded to tidy his hole, cheerily humming a song or two under her breath. She skipped and danced around the musty little fissure, picking up knickknacks as she went, dusting murky corners when she pirouetted. The girl swept off all the grit from the floor, and straightened things into order. When she was finished, the place looked almost as sweet as her own little holiday cottage by the sea.

He fizzled fretfully, but worse was to come, for Sophi turned her attention to him. Pouncing unto him with as much girly strength she could muster, Sophi bossily cleaned and trimmed his claws. She polished his scales and dusted a little lilac talcum under his arms. The amphibian flushed to his unnoticeable ears, but Sophitia never took notice, for she was busy tying a blue ribbon around his tail.

She heaved a little sigh. "I've got to be going now. Mother's calling for dinner." She said, "But I'll be back tomorrow."

As the small blonde left through his door and clambered gracefully down the steep cliffs, Lizardman thought, 'There's only one way to get any peace. I'll just have to eat her. Freckles would taste nasty, but if I shut my eyes and gulp, it wouldn't be so bad.'

He groaned. Parents, from past experiences, he knew, would come looking for devoured maidens, waving swords and looking extremely unfriendly.

When Sophitia arrived the next morning, he opened his jaws, revealing newly sharpened teeth. Lizardman was almost unwilling, but ready to eat her. But the girl said, "Look what I brought you!"

She tilted the plate and let its contents empty into his open jaws. It was a strawberry cream cake, iced with strawberry icing, and topped with hundreds and thousands of rainbow sprinkles and jelly. As he closed his jaw and felt all the cream squish inside, he had sugar overkill, and decided that he would be extremely ill.

Sophitia noticed this, and she said, "Goodness me, you look more green than yellow now. Are you ill?" She took his temperature and spread a fluffy pink blanket over him. He took a look at it and shuddered, thinking it was very childish.

"I'll leave you to get some rest, poor little Lizzie."

Ignoring his pet name, he beamed at the thought of her leaving him in peace. "You will?"

"But I'll drop by first thing tomorrow. I'll be here for two weeks before I go back home."

And no doubt, for the two weeks she was a regular visitor to his cave, and Lizardman suffered. She had managed to haul some décor up the cliff and into his home, and everyday, pieces of cozy furniture were placed in a dull corner. The little girl had brought beanbags and cushions and lovely petite stools, and had a dartboard and a piece of Father's painting on the wall, and a clumsy bookshelf filled with fairy tales and lizards, and a dozen potted plants graced the sides. And as a side thought, she brought along an especially huge toothbrush and coaxed him into cleaning his teeth regularly.

One morning, she finally said, "I have to go home now, the holidays are over. Do look after yourself, please. I'll be back next summer, because Mother simply loved the seashore." Sophitia gave him a big hug with as much scales her little arms could ever wrap over, and left the cave. The man- sized lizard was stunned from it all for a while, but when he realized that the girl was finally gone, he danced about the cave almost ecstatically.

'Hooray!' He thought, 'No more boring chatter, no more feathers and fluff, and no more disturbance from sleep!' And with that done and out of his system, he curled up onto his bed, scratched a few itchy scales with his leg and shut his eyes.

But his dreams were fretful, and he gave up sleeping altogether, awakening feeling edgy and cross. Pacing about his cave, he wondered why the silence was so strangely lonely, where he had not minded it before. The hours grew bleak and long, and tugged at his weariness. Lizardman hissed forlornly, and nibbled a claw as he sat down onto a beanbag by the bookshelf. He turned, and noticed a picture of Sophitia smiling sweetly on top of the mantle, and he roared.

"She's gone! Hooray! And wouldn't be back for many splendid months!"

But why, he wondered glumly, were tears rolling down his scaly cheeks?

He glanced around, and at every spot his bloodshot eyes landed was a thing Sophi had brought for him.

"Yuck!" He grumbled morosely, and kicked a potted plant over the cliff.

It landed onto the beach with a muffled thud, and a wave gushed over it, snatching it into the sea. With an exasperated roar that sounded suspiciously like a cry, he slinked down and grasped the pot from the sand with his powerful claws, and carried it snappily back to his grotto, slamming it on top of the mantle, next to Sophi's smiling frame.

'Even when she's not here, she irritates me. When she comes back, I'll devour her! Freckles and all.'

And Lizardman waited for summer to arrive once more, but his hiss lost its gusto, and his scales lost their gleam, and his ribboned tail sagged unto the floor limply. Autumn and winter howled through his gloomy cave, and with each passing season, he moped, and led a terribly cantankerous life.

At last, gay umbrellas sprouted and blossomed like flowers along the sun- drenched beach. It was summer. Lizardman grinded his teeth against the rocks on the crags and tried to develop an appetite. And the day came, when Sophitia frolicked in through his doors once more. He opened his jaws in greeting, stubbornly telling himself to finish this job fast.

"Lizzie!" She cried happily, throwing her whole weight onto him as she hugged, 'I missed you so much! Did you miss me?'

He blinked and shut his jaw, as his bloodshot eyes and massive mouth felt suddenly dry. 'She's so irritating and fussy and talkative!' He thought furiously.

['And yet, I kind of like her smile.']

'Humbug!' He hissed ferociously to himself. 'She's an utter nuisance, and she's not welcome here!'

['And yet, of all the maidens so forlorn, I kind of like her best.']

"Did you miss me, Lizzie?" Sophi turned her pretty blue eyes upwards to meet his reddish ones.

Try as he might, he shook his head resentfully, but to no avail, as his violent shaking turned into a gentle nod instead.

The girl giggled joyfully, and she said, "Then let's celebrate being together! What would you like for lunch, Lizzie?"

"Plain scones please, Sophi." Said Lizardman.

- End -