Gaz and her stuffed animals destroyed the disclaimer that I don't own any Invader Zim characters. This is just madness from my mind. EMBRACE THE MADNESS!
Gaz And The Great Social Experiment
As usual the latest chapter in the whole Invader Zim episode started at the Skool. But for once it wasn't in Miss Bitters' class.
"Everybody! Today we're going to make friendship bracelets!" Mr. Eliot said cheerfully as he displayed his.
Sometimes Gaz thought it was some weird cruel joke that while she was stuck with the way too cheerful Mr. Eliot, Dib had Miss Bitters the meanest crank in the school. It seemed that each had been given the very teacher designed to annoy them the most.
"Gaz come on now, go ahead and make a friendship bracelet," Mr. Eliot encouraged Gaz.
She looked at the pieces of fabric before her. "Fine…" She knew he was just going to pester her until she did it anyway. In some ways, he was almost as annoyingly cheerful as Dib. Almost.
"It doesn't matter," Francine, a girl in her class snickered. "Gaz doesn't have any friends anyway. Who would she make it for?"
"How about her stupid brother or his stupid friend Zim?" A boy chuckled.
The glass giggled. Gaz gave them an angry eye. "SHUT IT!" She snarled. The class screamed and jumped back.
The bell rang. "Okay class that's all the time we have for today," Mr. Eliot said cheerfully. "We can finish making these tomorrow. Don't forget your homework. Oh and Gaz can I talk to you for a minute?"
"I guess so," Gaz said as she went to Mr. Eliot's desk. "What?"
"Gaz I can't help but notice that you're having a little trouble socializing with the other students," Mr. Eliot said. "Particularly the other girls."
"Says who?" Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Who? Tell me who so I can talk to them!" She punched her fist into her open palm.
"You know Gaz I believe it's important for young girls of today to form strong bonds of friendship so they can support each other and make it in this world," Mr. Eliot explained. "That's why I've started a girls club after skool. You know to make friends and stuff. What do you say Gaz?"
"Pass…" Gaz turned away from him. Not wanting to take part in anything that would deprive her from playing video games.
Gaz started to walk out of the classroom. "I can see why you don't want to take part in making friendship bracelets Gaz," Francine taunted. "Why would a loser like you need to make a friendship bracelet when she doesn't have any friends?"
"I'm not a loser," Gaz glared at the girl.
"You spend all your time with your insane brother and that weird Zim kid," Francine snorted. "Sounds like a loser to me." She walked out of the classroom with her nose in the air.
"What does she know?" Gaz stormed off and went outside the Skool. But she still had that nagging thought.
That nagging thought got even louder as she saw Zim and Dib chase each other with some kind of silly string that managed to light on fire as soon as it was released. "Great…I'm really going to be popular now," Gaz grumbled.
"DIE ZIM DIE!" Dib screamed as he shot the flammable silly string at Zim only to miss and set the swings on fire.
"YOU WILL DIE DIB!" Zim yelled as he shot his own flammable silly string which of course hit some teeter totters with some kids on them.
"AAAH! MY NEW SWEATER!" One kid screamed.
"Hi!" Gir in his dog disguise waved cheerfully to Gaz.
"Do I want to know anything about all this?" Gaz asked Gir. Gir just shrugged. "That's what I thought."
"VICTORY WILL BE FOR ZIM!"
"NO WAY! THIS VICTORY WILL BE FOR EARTH!"
"SOMEBODY GET A TEACHER!" A kid yelled. "ZIM AND DIB ARE BURNING DOWN THE PLAYGROUND!"
"Don't bother asking them for help," Another kid groaned. "I just saw Miss Bitters organizing a Smores making party among the teachers."
"It's the same stupid thing day after day," Gaz sighed as she watched what was going on. "Dib bugs Zim. Zim bugs Dib. They both bug me and act like total idiots."
"DEATH TO THE DIB MONKEY! HA HA HA!"
"BURN ALIEN BURN!"
"And I'm just sitting here every day watching them…" Gaz came to a realization. "Crap. This can't be good."
"NO! NOT THE SLIDE!" One kid shouted.
"WE BETTER GET THOSE LOSERS AND BEAT THEM UP BEFORE WE DON'T HAVE A PLAYGROUND ANYMORE!" Another kid yelled. "WHO'S WITH ME?"
"HEY! THEY'RE OUT OF FIRE! YEAH! I'LL GET THEM NOW!" Another kid shouted. More cheers were added as well as threats of bodily harm to Zim and Dib.
"I mean this is my life! Just watching these idiots or playing video games. Okay the video games are cool but still…" Gaz frowned. "The only people in my life are my idiot big headed brother, a stupid incompetent alien, a self centered father that's never around…"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Both Zim and Dib ran from an angry mob of children.
"Look! Isn't it nice they're making friends?" Gir said cheerfully.
"And I am talking about my personal feelings with robot dog that has the IQ of Swiss Cheese…" Gaz finished. "Uh oh. I have a problem."
The next day at Skool…
"And remember kids to try and have a happy thought for all those people who don't have one," Mr. Eliot said cheerfully as the kids left the schoolroom. Then he noticed Gaz. "Hi Gaz. Can I do something for you?"
"Uh Mr. Eliot…" Gaz coughed. "I've been thinking. Maybe, just maybe I do need to socialize a little bit more? You know? Have some female friends?"
"YOU ARE GOING DOWN ZIM!" Dib was heard screaming in the corridor.
"NEVER DIB MONKEY! HA HA HA HA! EAT THE SWEEPING BRUSH OF DOOM!" Zim was heard cackling as well.
"Let me rephrase that…" Gaz twitched. "I definitely need some female friends!"
"Good for you Gaz! Admitting you need friends is the first and hardest step!" Mr. Eliot said cheerfully. "After that it's all downhill!"
"That's what I'm afraid of," Gaz groaned as she let Mr. Eliot lead her into another room.
"Hello Girls!" Mr. Eliot said cheerfully to a group of young girls sitting in chairs in a circle. "We have a new friend who's joining our Female Friendship Group. Gaz you know Francine, Olivia and Flenna from class. And that's Carol, Cindy, Marsha and Jan. Everyone give Gaz a big welcome!"
"HI GAZ!" The girls shouted cheerfully. Most of them were wearing some varieties of pink, purple or green. They all looked very happy and very perky.
"Why don't you get to know each other and I'll be back with lemonade and snacks?" Mr. Eliot practically skipped out the door.
"So why are you really here?" Flenna asked as Gaz sat down. "Why aren't you hanging around with your crazy brother?"
"Hey! Don't judge me by my idiot brother! The only reason I tolerate Dib and haven't kicked him out of the house is that he's a good scapegoat for when stuff goes wrong," Gaz snapped.
"You want to talk about brothers?" Olivia groaned. "Mine is so annoying! He keeps stealing my lipstick! I don't mind as much as when he puts it on his trucks. But when he starts putting it on the grapefruit and kissing it…"
"I can top that," Carol said. "Mine keeps tying my dolls to rockets to try and send them into outer space. Fortunately I have access to a propane torch so I use it to melt down all his toy cars and other stuff! HA!"
"Maybe this won't be so bad after all?" Gaz realized.
"Girls! Great news! The New Nightlight Movie is coming out in a few weeks!" Carol squealed. "Those hunky vampires are back!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The girls around Gaz squealed with glee.
"I'm gonna buy every poster and put them all over my room!" Flenna gasped.
"I'm gonna buy all the clothes and eat all the food products based on the Nightlight Series!" Jan squealed.
"I'm going to watch back to back screenings of that new movie until my brain explodes!" Francine giggled.
"I'm going to sculpt the lead character out of butter!" Olivia screamed.
"Oh great, this is worse than I thought," Gaz grumbled to herself.
"Gaz who's your favorite vampire from the Nightlight Series? Jason or Edwardo?" Cindy swooned. "Or do you like Toby? Rafe? Samuel?"
"None of them. I hate that movie," Gaz snorted. "Never saw it or read any of the books it was based on."
You would have thought that Gaz announced that she was a serial killer by the sound of the shocked gasps from the girls. "You don't like the Nightlight Series?" Jan was stunned.
"Nope," Gaz shrugged.
"But…But it's one of the most romantic movie series ever made!" Carol gasped.
"I hate romance movies," Gaz said.
"How can you not like that movie? I mean isn't vampires your thing?" Francine mocked.
"One, that's my stupid brother's thing. Two, I'm not my stupid brother. And three if I was into vampires I certainly wouldn't be into vampires dumb enough to date stupid people!" Gaz folded her arms. "Vampire Piggys that's a different story. But that's only to completely destroy them."
"Vampire Piggys? You mean you play that stupid video game my brothers play?" Jan asked.
"I didn't even think any girl played that game!" Marsha was stunned. "It's so stupid."
"And gross," Carol added.
"And stupid," Marsha added.
"And full of ugly characters," Carol went on.
"And stupid!" Marsha said.
"It is not stupid! It's a great series!" Gaz said.
"I know why she likes it!" Flenna taunted. "The main character looks a lot like Zim! She plays it because it looks like her boyfriend!"
"WHAT? No way!" Gaz snapped. "Rupert Van Pigslayer does not look like Zim!"
"Oh come on Gaz! I've seen the game! He's green, has beady eyes and runs around doing stupid stuff!" Marsha snapped.
"Sounds like Zim to me!" Francine snickered.
"Gaz has a boyfriend!" Olivia and Jan taunted.
"I do not!" Gaz shouted. "I can't stand Zim!"
"Then why do you play a game where the main character looks exactly like him?" Francine giggled.
"He does not! Look!" Gaz pulled out her game and turned it on. "This is Rupert Van Pigslayer! He's nothing like Zim! For starters he's an alien from another planet out to conquer a stupid evil planet full of dumb evil pig monsters! Sure he's got green skin but he has red beady little eyes and a cool robot dog named Growl and…"
Realization hit Gaz. "Never mind. Let's go back to talking about stupid brothers again."
"Gaz has got a boyfriend! Gaz has got a boyfriend!" The girls sang and taunted.
"I DO NOT!" Gaz shouted. She was seriously starting to lose her temper. "I loathe that idiot!"
"You always loathe the one that you love!" Flenna taunted.
"That doesn't make any sense," Gaz snapped.
"You know Gaz, if you are ever going to get a boyfriend you seriously need to change your wardrobe to something…Less creepy," Francine looked her up and down.
"And start wearing makeup so when you dump Zim you can look good for other boys!" Jan said.
"Why? Why should we spend our time looking pretty and looking for approval from idiot boys we don't even like?" Gaz asked.
"You're weird," Francine sniffed. "Just like your brother!"
"I am not like Dib!" Gaz snarled as she made a fist. "You take that back!"
"Who wants lemonade and cookies?" Mr. Eliot sang as he walked in with a tray of snacks.
Instantly the other girls transformed back into their sweet selves. "We do!" They said cheerfully.
"Good! Now I hope you girls are all getting along," Mr. Eliot said as he put the tray down.
"Oh yes! We're all the bestest of friends!" Francine said happily. "In fact we invited Gaz to our tea party tomorrow at my house!"
"We did?" Cindy blinked. Olivia elbowed her in the ribs. "Oh right! Yeah we did!"
"That's super de duper girls! See what happens when you give people a chance Gaz?" Mr. Eliot smiled.
"Oh yeah, I see all right…" Gaz glared at the two faced liars.
"Well girls it's time for the meeting to be cut short. I have to leave early to go shave the elderly's backs! See you in class next Monday!" He skipped away.
"I can't believe that guy actually skips…" Jan winced as he went out of the room. "What a moron."
"Hey he gets us free lemonade and cookies," Carol told her. "We can put up with him."
"But you Gaz are a different story!" Olivia snarled as she took the cookie from Gaz's hand.
"Yeah Gaz! We don't want you here!" Flenna snorted as she made sure the other cookies were out of Gaz's reach.
"You were only invited because that gets me points from Mr. Eliot! But if I were you, I wouldn't bother coming!" Francine pointed at Gaz. "This tea party is no place for loser weirdoes like you!"
"Yeah we only like cute girls that are fun at our party," Olivia said as the other girls left the room.
"See you around freak!" Francine snickered as she took a glass of lemonade and threw it at Gaz. "Now you have an excuse to buy a new dress! Maybe the next one won't make you look like a deranged circus clown!"
The girls laughed as they left the room. "Good one Francine!" Flenna laughed.
"Too bad you had to waste the lemonade on that freak!" Jan giggled.
"They…are going to pay!" Gaz snarled, flames of hate blazing in her eyes.
That night in Gaz's room, Gaz worked on a project using a flamethrower and several tools.
"So they want cute huh?" Gaz worked on her project. "They'll get cute all right!"
The next day at the tea party in Francine's back yard.
The girls were all giggling and gossiping when Gaz came in, pulling a wagon full of stuffed animals. "What are you doing here freak?" Francine snorted.
"Yeah freak, what are you doing here?" Olivia giggled.
"I just thought I'd come to see how normal girls enjoy a tea party. I even brought my little friends," Gaz said sweetly. "Look this is Mister Fluffy…"Fluffy the Rabbit transformed into a giant robot rabbit monster with very large teeth.
"Timberton the Wolf," Timberton's eyes grew red and his fangs grew very large.
"Rainbow Benny the Unicorn," Gaz said as Rainbow Benny's horn glowed and spiky metal armor covered it's body. "Cuddles the Bear…" Cuddles then grew larger and grew very menacing claws and teeth. "Sammy the Snake…" A knife shot out of it's tail and it grew long fangs. "And Mister Squiderton…"
"Mister Squiderton?" Francine blinked. Then a large squid doll appeared waving it's tentacles. "Okay I guess that is what you would call a big ugly squid doll…"
"A big ugly squid doll with a flamethrower!" Flenna screamed.
"Gaz what…?" Francine gulped.
"I guess you could call them my security toys," Gaz grinned. "You know how stuffed animals bring a girl security…"
"Uh Gaz if this is all about those loser comments and those things I said to you after school…I was only kidding!" Francine gulped as the toys menaced them. "You know? It was just teasing! Only a joke!"
"Only a joke? Calling me names, throwing lemonade on me and making fun of me is your idea of a joke?" Gaz snarled. "And worst of all…Saying I'm like my brother and Zim is myboyfriend?You think that's a joke?"
"Uh yeah?" Flenna said weakly.
"Security…Get 'em," Gaz smirked with an evil glint in her eye. Then she snapped her fingers.
"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" The girls screamed in agony as they were savaged by the stuffed animals. Gaz stood there cackling madly at her handiwork. She stopped her cackling occasionally to snack on some cookies.
Later that evening…
"Even though their injuries were severe and some of the girls will be horribly disfigured for life they are all expected to survive," The reporter spoke in front of the camera. "No one knows exactly what happened but we do have one eyewitness who was able to make a statement.
Francine was covered in bandages. One of her eyes was covered by an eye patch. She was shaking violently. "The toys…The toys! Evil stuffed toys! AAHHHH!"
"Parents and police blame defective toys and are preparing a lawsuit against the Happy Doll Toy Factory," The reporter spoke. Behind him several people in hazmat suits were carrying out several toy dollies.
"Wow they really should do something about all those dangerous toys on the market," Dib blinked as he and Gaz watched television.
"Yeah those manufacturers are real negligent when it comes to child safety," Gaz agreed, knowing her toy minions were safely in her room.
"Good thing you didn't go to that tea party," Dib said. "Or weren't invited but still…"
"Yes. I wasn't invited. I was never there," Gaz remarked.
"Hey Gaz I want to ask you something. What were you doing after skool with those girls the other day?" Dib asked.
"Eh I was trying something new," Gaz shrugged. "Didn't work out."
"Oh," Dib blinked. "Well I'm off to go spy on Zim and thwart his latest plan to take over the world. I think he's trying something with robot bees again. Wanna come?"
"Okay," Gaz got off the couch. "Let's roll."
"Gaz I know you don't think that…SAY WHAT?" Dib did a double take. "You want to come with me?"
"Yeah. There's nothing good on TV tonight," Gaz shrugged. "And I don't get the new Vampire Piggies of Doom Part Twenty until it goes on sale tomorrow."
Gaz then stopped to think "On second thought I might try a different game series for a while for a change of pace. But since the game store is closed now I might as well kill some time by hanging out with you and Zim."
"Seriously?" Dib blinked. "What changed your mind?"
"You know how they say it's better to be a big fish in a small pond? In my case I prefer to be the normal smart fish in a small stupid pond filled with crazy fish," Gaz explained as she left the room. "Come on, let's go bug Zim."
"YES!" Dib was excited and did a happy dance. "THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!"
Half an hour later…
"THIS IS HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE!" Zim screamed as he and Dib were chased all over Zim's backyard by giant robot bees.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT ZIM!" Dib screamed. "OW! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN MAKE A SWARM OF ROBOT BEES IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL THEM?"
"OBVIOUSLY I THOUGHT I COULD!" Zim shouted back. "AAAAAAAHH!"
"And so goes another Saturday Night," Gaz remarked as she and Gir watched the chaos from the inside of the house.
"Cupcake?" Gir gave Gaz a cupcake from a tray.
"Don't mind if I do," Gaz actually smiled as she took one.
Gir then happily threw the rest in his mouth. "DE-LICIOUS! I LOVE CUPCAKES!" He ate messily.
"AAAHH! THOSE STINGERS REALLY HURT!" Dib screamed in agony.
"WHEN WILL THE STINGING STOP? WHEN WILL THE STINGING STOP! AAAAAAHHHHHH! STOP THE STINGING!" Zim screamed.
"Ah," Gaz sighed contentedly as she munched on her cupcake. "This is the life."