I didn't want to believe when the doctor told me that Serenity was dying. She laid there in the hospital's nicest room, in snow-white dress, with her spreaded blonde hair and she was smiling – but she was in her last hours. It can't be, I repeated myelf, she can't leave me alone.
In that morning I woke up to that she was hanging on my arms whimperly. Although we had expected Chibiusa's arrival for a half year, I was scared of change. But Serenity babbled laughing while I helped her out from the bed and called the guard who was standing at the door to notify the shensis. Months ago we have planned everything : if the delivery start in the palace we immeadiately go to the hospital where the queen give birth to her child, after we return and live happily with the infant princess.
I wonder what we could addle which makes everything changed? By the time we arrived at the hospital Serenity's ache became so unbereable that she could just hardly hold back the screams. However, she was laughing until the doctor examined her and laughed after she was stunned by the pain-killer she had gotten. I no longer worried: after all, we have been waiting for his moment since Chibiusa gave signal about her existing at first.
„Where are the girls?" she asked panting. I swept out a tress from her face and sat next to her.
„They all are out. Only Luna and I can be here with you."
The black cat stood at the windowsill and watched Serenity amused. Sometimes I felt that in her eyes she's that hysterical fourteen-years-old girl who she was and Luna understood just now that her protegé has grown up, became the Earth's Queen and she is ready for being mother.
„I want them to come on later" Serenity desired. „We must to fight a lot for Chibiusa, don't we?
„Cause she was always as stubborn as her mother" I responded. The doctor had a cough behind us and I turned forward him. „How long this will have been going on?
„I have no idea, Your Majesty. The first delivery is always dragged and the Queen is very fragile.
Serenity moaned again. I wanted to help her so much, to disburden and say that the pain will have been over soon. But there was no need to convince her about this: she wanted Chibiusa at all hazards.
At two o'clock I went out to eat some bite and to Serenity's biggest happiness I came back with her four guard. The girlsd have been waited at the corridor all beforenoon to expected the news, so they deserved to see that everything is right. I settled back to my chair tiring but said nothing while Ami and Makoto take their questions to Serenity one after one. Therefore I didn't let them say too much because Serenity wasn't as well as at morning; she was pale and haggard.
As Minako reached under her pillow to put it right Serenity suddenly yelled and hunched up. The doctor and the nurses immediately pushed aside us but not fast enough to see a bloodstain appeared in the sheet.
„What is happening?" I stepped back frightened aside the bed. „What's the problem?"
But nobody cared for me, the doctor continued hanging the orders out to the nurses, then after a quick „Be calm, your Majesty" I could hear only the sounds of machines and dripping of infusion.
„I… I dreamed something" Rei suddenly pipped up behind me. She spoke so quietly I almost didn't understand her words but those somehow reached my brain. My heart stopped for a moment – if Rei see anything that never means any good.
„What was that?" I saved one face. The doctor was jabbing a needle to Serenity's arm what abolished all of my composure. „What was that?" I shouted to Rei. She just shook her head and run out from the room.
„What did she dream?" I tried to Makoto who watched Serenity in fear.
„I really don't know."
The sound of machines has died. Serenity laid in peace and breathed slowly; she seemed to sleep. The doctor measured us strictly, his glance stopped on the shensis.
„Excuse me ladies, but you had better if you go out. The Queen need some rest and my words belong only to the King.
The girls obediently backed out from the room. I was affraid of what the doctor wanted to tell me because I felt from her voice that a terrible announcement is made. Luna jumped into my lap and widened to Serenity.
„You must be very strong, Your Majesty" he said honestly. „I tried to hide the case and see if the things improve, but the results don't change. I did everything, I swear, but the Queen weak now and… I'm affraid, she or the child will die. You must choose that who should be protected.
„Pardon?" I dropped my teeth. Then, suddenly I filled with calmness – I just misunderstand something. I'm gross, I hear worse and in the truth there's nothing problem because it's absolutely impossible that any of them will die. I promised to take care of them always. We can't be separated. Not now and not in this way.
„Your Majesty" called me the doctor again more decisively „you must choose to save one of them's life.
The time checked around me and the cold swear deluged me, too. Nothing should be like this because I've seen our future! I've seen Serenity and Chibiusa, I've seen myself, our city and our bright, fantastic life in which we were together forever and ever. Luna began to whine in my hands.
„It's only a mistake" I stammered slowly.
„I would like to say that I'm wrong, but I don't. Call here Lady Mercury if you don't believe me, although after seeing the attifacts she won't tell you anything else.
Yes, I had to do this. I jumped up and ran out to the corridor with Luna in my lap, where the senshis waited me in silence. Rei was crouched on the floor, her red eyed stared at me apologetically.
„You dreamt they had died, didn't you?
Rei burst into tears again and huried her face to Michiru's shoulder. My legs felt juddered under me as I felt there is no way out of this situation. I slimmed down on the ground and let the desperation cluttering my whole youl.
There were maybe five minutes I stared front of me while nobody dared to speak. Only one-one sobbing broke the silence until I raised my head to turn to Setsuna.
„How can it be possible? I was there in Crystal Tokyo… I've seen oursevelves… Chibiusa prayed for her mother… and Serenity want her to be always in safe… they were together. Always together!"
„The future is not certain, Endymion" the senshi interrupted me. „It's enough only a little change that we don't realize to cause this. Maybe Small Lady… the shenshi trailed off.
She was beautiful even in her pain. Innocent and pure - one of the most valuable crystal of our universe. I loved her better than anybody could have imagined: she was my other part. I didn't understand how the destiny dare to snatch her from my hands. I didn't want it. I desired just us to hide in one small corner of the world and our dreams come true together.
The doctor warned me Serenity won't sleep for a long time and I have time to decide about her life until she sleeps.
„If I may advise, Your Majesty, save the Queen. I know it sounds cruel but you can have different children."
I laughed bitterly: this man understands nothing. It's easy to say that I can have other kid, because he doesn't know Chibiusa, he has never felt her heartbeating on his chest. I pushed my head on Serenity's belly – a little life was pounding inside.
Chibiusa. My only daughter and heir.
„Daddy" Chibiusa shouted in the middle of the night. I threw away my book and hurried to her to see what's wrong. She slept at my place because she had an argument with Usagi and we couldn't get her to go home. Actually, I didn't mind: I loved to watch this sleeping girl and imagine the day when she really will be ours, not just a time-travelling guest.
„What's that, Chibiusa?" I knelt beside her.
'Oh, daddy!" I smiled when I heard how she called me. Despite my dreams sometimes was difficult to believe that this girl is really my daughter." Prince Diamond was here again and wanted to kidnap mommy. I was so scared."
„It was just a dream, sweetie. He is in an other world, you know."
„But I heard his voice."
„Just I'm here, do you see?
„Okay, daddy" she muttered sniffled. „Then tell me a story until I'm going to sleep and even after stay here…and…don't you mind if I call you daddy tonight?"
„Oh dear, what should I do?'" I shouted bitterly and hesitantly. „Tell me, Usako, what I should."
Of course, I've already known that I choose Chibiusa when the doctor told me the facts. Not because my heart would have dictated it; if everything depends from my feelings I could have never decided – it was because of her. Serenity would never forgive me if I choose her instead of her daughter. Her heart would broke and I loose her.
„Mamo-chan!"
I raised my head and my eyes met Serenity's sad, resigned glance.
„I'm not very well" she whispered.
„Don't worry, darling, it's natural. Just relax, because you need your power.
„There's something wrong with Chibiusa, isn't there?
„What would be there? All goes as well as we expected.
„You lie badly" she said with narrowed eyes. „I want to hear the truth."
But before I would have faltered out something she had fell asleep again. I couldn't endure it more: I leaned beside her sobbing and I only wondered how could I change the present. But I was helpless, because despite of our energy, the destiny have never been written by us.
I had come to the slam of the door. All the senshis were there in the end of the bed, Hotaru has appeared, too, althought she rarely was among us. They kneeled and clasped their fingers; the marks of planets lighted up on their foreheads and Serenity sighed in her dream.
„Can you protect them?"
„We don't have enough power to do so" Minako answered in blue. Suddenly the commiseration ran through me: I hadn't felt sorry just for myself but for them, because not I was the only who lose a loved one. They also had to face the the vanish of our hopes.
„Using the Silver Crytaly maybe everything would come right" I tried hopefully.
„She doesn't have her strength, Endymion," Ami gagged me „ if she use the crystal she will die, that's sure. But…" she hesitated for a moment, than she looked into my eyes deeply to say the dreaded question. „… have you decided?"
I looked on their hollow eyes and sad faces. They couldn't hide that they were aware of my response.
„I've choosen Chibiusa."
„I won't let it" Haruka clashed immadiately. Makoto tried pulled her back, but she stared at me angry. „You have no right to do this."
„Why, do you have more right?
„She is the Queen, Endymion! If she dies now, who will use the Silver Crystal until Chibiusa grow up?
„And who will tell Serenity that we let her daughter die?"
Haruka looked at me as if I slapped her. Her lips narrowed for line while she was struggling with her conscience. „Serenity will always be the princess and it's our job to protect her."
„So since now you'll have a new princess."
We turned astonished to Serenity as we heard her weak statement. Fat tears rolled down on her face when she sat up slowly. „ I've heard everything" she said „and thank you, Mamo-chan, because you chose Chibiusa.
„But my Queen…." Haruka started.
„Enough" Serenity asked „there's no need argue. It must be so."
I stroked her yoke-bone but I couldn't speak. It was too much silence today, but what could we have said in the gate of death?
„There must be another way" Rei sighed, however Ami shook her head. All our attempts were in vain, we had to accept the facts. There is no solution. There is no hope.
„Don't worry" Serenity forced herself to smile „I just don't want to leave you here. But why would I be affraid? I'll meet again with my lunar mother, she has been waiting me on he Moon… tonight we will watch you together.
„Don't say that, for heaven's sake, Usako! You can't give up. This shouldn't happen…. where is our future?" I yelled at the senshis. „… and what about our dreams?"
At the last time she was brought she charged all of us to listen to her. Her skin became white and dark circles were around her eyes, even so we depended on her immortal beauty with admiration. After all, we've seen how lightly her soul brighted in the most difficult moments.
„It's end soon" she announced calmly „but I don't want to go without telling how much I love you. I want to say thanks because you were with me… because you loved me…
„I'll coop up something to save you – now or later, it's almost mind. I'll find the key to you" I said resolutely.
„I'm not afraid, just… just… oh, Mamo-chan, Chibiusa will never remember me! We will never meet again! I just wanted to see how she grow up; to hear as she called me „mommy", to hug her and to fondle her hair… I just wanted to be with her! I could always feel you, but I didn't get enough time to love our daughter!
Her sobbing drowned to another pain. The doctor, who meanwhile settled in the room, jumped up. „Go out" he instructed the girls immadiately. „I think the baby is coming."
„No, don't leave me here yet" Serenity shivered. „Promise me, you'll take care of her. If I can't be with her, you'll be her mothers. Ami, teach her to solve her problems in her own way, and Rei, you that how to be brave and assiduous. Makoto, show her that dreams always come true if people believes in them and Minako, watch her to laugh a lot. And you – she looked to the outer senshis – raised her for the best queen who ever lived in the world. Do you hear me?
Loud howl filled the room. Well, Chibiusa was here; an innocent baby who had no idea about that her mother give up the life for her. There was no more time: the Silver Crystal glimmered wanly in the Queen's broosch. I decided and I must to hold the sacks.
I softly put Chibiusa to Serenity's arm to see her before she die. Her hands almost were shaking as she pulled to herself the small body.
„My little princess" she whispered „we must say goodbye now. She's the most beautiful child I've ever seen, Mamo-chan.
I nodded and stared at them because I knew I want this picture keep in my mind about them. I've forgotten they were such a tantalizing nice together.
„Tell her that my death is not her faul and I'm glad because she's my daughter."
„I'm going to say."
„She must know I love her tremendously even I can't be beside her.
I would have liked to protest again and shouted to pick her up, but it would just have hurted her. She didn't have strenght to fight, she just wanted peace and calm: I couldn't take away the relief that Chibiusa will grown up happily.
„I'm so tired."
„Don't sleep, Usako" I leaned closer to her."Don't go, please! I love you, don't you understand?"
„I love you, too, Mamo-chan, because you're my prince. But I need some rest now…"
Chibiusa cried out when Serenity finally closed her eyes. I took my daughter out gently from her dead mother's embrace and cradling began to talk around the room.
„One day I will send you back to the past to know her„ I whispered into the silence. „ We'll change our future and you'll meet again, I promise…