I gazed out blankly through thin glass walls that seemed to trap me. Still, fighting against the wave of nausea that had overtaken my body, I took to action the best remedies I could remember. I would eventually fail - to mark myself with humiliation beyond repair - but I was still trying in the meantime.
I turned my attention to my peers, turning my head slightly to catch a glimpse of random faces. None of their bored eyes were on me.
My hands fiddled feebly across the top of my bottle. I quickly took a swig of water and I felt instant relief, though it wasn't going to last for very long.
The rocking movement of the bus seemingly increased with each passing moment. I tried to concentrate on anything else to pass time of these long fours of hour torture.
"Are you alright, Scarlet?"
The voice seemed to come from the seat across me. I looked round slowly to see Mike looking anxiously at me. I managed to give a smile and a nod in response, though it was very weakly done.
One thing that I relied on was that I wasn't going to embarrass myself further, carrying a plastic bucket throughout this entire journey. The one thing that I dreaded on these camping trips was my problem of motion sickness. It wasn't only just buses that made me sick; it was all forms of motored transport, cars, planes, boats and even horses.
I managed to find a way to pass time by recounting if I had packed all my things. I started with the big bulky things such as my sleeping bag, pillows and my clothes. Then I began to look through for my small but important things; that I kept in my sling bag across my shoulder. I opened it and peered into its contents.
Inside it; I kept my phone and ipod with their chargers, the book I was currently reading Twilight, my makeup, my bug repellent and last but most important, my wallet.
In it contained two hundred dollars, several cards – one of them had my carer's number, and my cherished picture of my parents. I shed a tear as I regarded the image.
In the photo, was my dad Bill Adams with his cheeky smile, wrapping his huge arms across my beautiful French golden-skin mother Elizabeth, alongside with the preteen dilemma version of me. The memories of agonizing sadness came flooding back to me as it did in those fatal days six years ago.
The death of my parents wasn't instant as it should have been. I remembered waiting in the large chair by my mother's bedside waiting for her to wake up. I was alone for most of that time. I had no siblings or cousins, uncles or grandmas, or something along the lines of that, to keep me from trying to hurt myself.
I pushed away those troubling thoughts with happy distant memories. I remembered an occasion at the beach, simple enough to distract me.
The minutes of peaceful silence were broken by Mike's boisterous laughing. I looked up to see that most of the students were now gazing out the window; at some unknown scene below. I followed their eyes to see the strange sight of two cows attempting at reproduction in an awkward manner. I let out a small laugh. Mike had heard me and his eyes lightened.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked.
"A bit" I replied. This was half-true, the nausea I had felt before was almost all gone, but I was still sick. This was because of the torturous memories I had had earlier.
I was quiet for most of the time. Occasionally, I asked Mike and my other friends questions I forgot to ask before we left.
"How long are we allowed to shower for?" I asked randomly to Ashley, who seemed to be bored by the silence.
"One minute" she replied matter-of-factly. I groaned.
"But I heard there are cabins there, if you get there first you won't have to sleep outside and you don't have to shower outside too" she said encouragingly.
"Thanks" I tried to suppress a frown. I would try to be one of the first to reach the cabins, no matter how slow I was, to save myself from exposure; I would save Ashley a spot too, of course, for giving me the info.
After passing the halfway mark, I too became bored. I looked round to the others; most of them had their ipods out. So I copied, and took out my white ipod, attaching an earphone to one of my ears. As soon as I pushed play the sound blasted my ear. I quickly turned down the volume and the music soon settled in, calming me. I began to feel sleepy, so I adjusted my body; to lay facing towards the windows, and rested my head against my shoulder. Eventually, after a few minutes, I was soon sound asleep.
I woke up to the sound of an engine churning. The bus was very slowly making its way uphill across the face of the rocky road. I looked outside to see that the whole entire area was surrounded by evergreen trees. No other forms of life could be seen in this dense green background. It was starting to rain too; as the little droplets hit my face through the open window in front of me.
I noticed that the road was becoming more leveled as we traveled across it, and then we finally came to an abrupt stop. Mrs. Lamar's small figure appeared out from the front seat, and called everyone to attention.
"Okay, listen up everyone, the main road to the campsite has been closed off. So, we all need to hike along this trail up ahead, till we reach it" Her tone changed at the end, noticing how we all groaned at the thought.
"Come on, its only three miles, it will take a max of maybe half an hour, at most" she said in motivation.
Trust in the Sport teacher, to give us no more than half an hour to hike the treacherous five miles, I thought icily to myself.
The bus driver was the first to jump off the bus, opening up the luggage compartment. We all followed slowly out of the narrow doors, and began to stretch our legs as we made our way onto the clearing.
A quick roll call was held before we were handed our luggage bags. My bag weighed a tonne on top of me, but it was nothing compared to what the other girls had. In their cases contained closets of clothes, make up kits, hair straighteners and bottles of creams and conditions, just to name a few. But none of them were carrying it, instead some of the boys volunteered to do it in gallantry response.
I sighed in frustration.
As we began to make our way up the trail, it began to drizzle lightly. I took my thick coat out from my luggage and pulled it on tightly around me, in effect I manage to fall behind from my group. In my hurried attempt to catch up, the rocks beneath me soon turn to mud, and my rigid knees gave way. I was completely covered in a gooey mixture of brown and green.
No one seemed to notice me, except for Mike who laughed loudly, and had caused a scene. I flushed with embarrassment.
"Shut up, Mike" I muttered, still embarrassed.
The rain began pouring now; I slipped on more occasions, and became one of the last people of the group. I heard Mrs. Lamar's voice calling out ahead of me.
"Hurry Up!" she beckoned to us, becoming a speck in the distance.
It wasn't long before I noticed that everyone who was behind me, had past me and left. I started to worry. I looked up frantically ahead of me for anybody, and then realised it was a wasted attempt.
I was lost.
Maybe, not all was lost. My sense of direction wasn't bad. Maybe I could find the group before anybody would notice I was missing, and avoid Mr. Harlem's lecturing that went along with it.
I couldn't see much in the rain, so I continued to follow the path, keeping my eyes down and shielding them with hands. I felt lonelier than ever as I paced through the green forest. I felt warm moisture fall on my face and realized I was crying, feeling so ridiculous even as I allowed the tears to continue to fall.
I continued to walk until; I had finally reached what was the end of the trail. I looked up to where I was. A feeling of hope filled me up in an instant.
I looked to see the shape of a small house in the distance. The lights in the house were on, and glowed of a warm yellow that looked very inviting. I began to walk up to the direction of the house, and felt that I should have probably turned back; no one from my school was here, these people didn't know me.
I would probably make a fool of myself; mocking me upon my stupidity of getting lost so easily.
I would take to action of what I thought was my best strategy. I would knock on the door and ask directions to the camp, and tell them 'thanks' and leave. As I walked slowly towards the door, I built up the courage to knock, and brought up another cautious thought to mind, one that I hadn't thought about, that there might be a serial killer inside, waiting for me.
I gently rasped on the door, it opened at my touch. I cautiously opened the door and peered into the glowing room.
"Hello?" I called out to nowhere in particular.
There was no response. I looked round to view the room. In front of me, there was a relatively large lounge room with a TV in front of the couch. Beyond that, was a small kitchenette; with a white linoleum covering the floor and yellow paint decorating the cupboards. Just next to me was a flight of stairs that led into the closing darkness. The interior of the house was very familiar to me, but I couldn't grasp onto what it was.
Appearing out from nowhere, a man stepped out in front of me. I gasped at his sudden appearance. He then spoke the words that shook me to my core.
"Come on in, Isabella" he raised his hand, and gestured me to come forward. Darkness had concealed his face away from being seen. I couldn't respond until a few seconds later.
"What did you call me?" I accused, shock was written all over my face.
"Oh, sorry, I meant Bella" he replied apologetically. He didn't seem to be affected by my tone.
I paused for a minute and re-adjusted my voice to a more rational tone.
"Who are you?" was the first question that came to my mind.
"I'm Charlie, your father. Are you feeling alright Bella?" he spoke slowly.
I tried to reassess the situation that I was put in. Why had this man mistaken me, and called me Bella?
It took me a few seconds before I realized where I was. I now recognized the yellow cupboards, the small house and the man standing before me.
This is Isabella Swan's life and I was mistaken for her. Her story was being told to me, before my eyes. The story of Twilight was one that I have read several times. Why me?, I thought.
I tried to get out; I wasn't supposed to be here. The door had already closed behind me, bringing on a whole new force to this world. Me. I felt desperate to escape, so I turned around and yanked the door open. The setting had completely changed. The feeling of ambience surrounded me, as this was a dream. There was now a road in front of the house and a fence, along with the red truck and several other houses could also be seen past the thickness of trees.
My face fell; I couldn't feel any emotion at all. I just remained in my frozen position staring out blankly onto the street, staring down at the thought; that this was the twilight of my life; the beginning of the end. I felt a hand lightly touch my shoulder and I instantly spun around, preparing to whack it away from me.
The surprises kept on coming then, like powerful waves attacking, as I met the familiar eyes of the man. He face reflected the exact image of my late father's, Bill Swan. He was slightly more aged, but he looked exactly the same, even now more distinct than ever, than those of my vivid memories. My mind was now swirling with images of the past and present, the sensation making me feel dizzy and disorientated.
I continued to stare at the contours of his face; his eyes were serious and concerned. He was probably worried if I had a sudden glitch in my brain and should get myself to hospital.
In his world, I was just in his car, and I had walked through the door straight after him. This was far from any reality. I didn't know what to do, what to say. Anything that would alter the book would also alter the lives of those who read it, me included.
I knew the story back-to-front, like every other girl who has fallen in love with book. I fell into the lives of Bella and Edward, a little more deeply than I should have, but I didn't know that this, this of all situations would become my fate.
"I think you better sit down Bella, you've had a long trip" he said eventually, breaking the awkward silence.
I obeyed. I had no other choice than to play along with the story. I sat down clumsily on the sofa, feeling the full effects of the hike weighing down on my limbs and bones. I pulled off my back pack with much effort, and dropped it heavily on the floor. I sighed with relief, breathing in deeply the fresh cool air.
After seeing me relax, his expression was relieved.
"I'll get you a towel to dry your hair" his voice was warm and very comforting.
I smiled. "Okay"
When he left, I got a chance to inspect myself. My hair was soaking wet, as well as my coat. I suddenly remembered something, and I look down to my jeans. Last time I saw them they were covered in mud and moss. Now, they were completely washed clean, leaving behind all traces that I was ever at the camping trip. I looked round the room in boredom and found something that caught my attention.
Behind a dusty trophy cup was a picture of me. It looked like the photo was taken recently, still in my teenage years. Though there were slight differences that separated me from the person in the picture. The person had very clear skin, almost like see-through, it freaked me out a little, as she reminded me of a ghost. My skin was not better than hers; the colour of my skin was off-white, eggshell, not near warm enough to be described as cream and covering blemishes was not an easy task.
The colour of her hair was a medium shade of brown, mahogany; it was a very natural looking as her wide locks rolled down and fell off her shoulders. On the other hand, my hair was artificial. I had dyed it reddish brown recently and also added a few highlights of scarlet and purple along the tips, keeping it straight most of time.
I wasn't paying much attention to notice that Charlie had already walked into the room with a towel in hand; he caught me staring at the photo.
"I've been meaning to get that off the wall." – He smiled looking away – "I know how you are self-conscious about your photos". He smiled again, this time at me. I felt so happy seeing his smiling face, even though I had just met him ten minutes ago.
He handed me a worn-out towel, and I took it. I began to dry my hair, squeezing out the moisture at the tips and letting it soak up in the towel. He watched me as I did this, and then surprised me by asking an unexpected question.
"When did you dye your hair?" he asked curiously.
I had to think through my answer, using all the knowledge I had from the book, to tell me the dates she hadn't visited her father.
"Um, last Christmas" I made up a date, hoping that it was enough.
"Looks good on you" he responded
"Thanks" I blushed. It has been a while since anyone has complimented me.
He changed the subject. "Anyway, I think it will be best if I drove you to school tomorrow. I haven't checked out the truck properly yet, and I don't want you to have an accident" his voice was with genuine concern. I wasn't expecting this and I didn't answer immediately. The truth was that I didn't know how to drive a car, or a truck.
How was I going to explain this to him?
He waited patiently for my response. "But you have work, don't you…Dad". I felt a tinge of regret saying this because, Charlie wasn't him. Nothing could ever replace him.
"Yes, but I don't mind" His tone was pushing towards frustration.
I came up with a better solution instead. "How about… Do you have a bike I can use?" I suggested, now knowing the fact that she hasn't come by his house for three years.
"Yeah, sure"
"How about I use the bike, until the truck is ready?" I was aiming for a yes. I couldn't trust myself in a motored vehicle, knowing that I would throw up as soon as I started the engine.
"Okay, but you don't mind. It is a long trip" he added.
"Easy-Peasy" I remarked and he smiled.
The rest of the day I spent settling my stuff upstairs. I began unpacking my clothes and laid them neatly onto the rocking chair in the corner of the room. It didn't feel right to put my stuff in the cupboards, and I didn't know how long I would be staying for. After I finished organising my stuff, I search for my phone and called Mike's number, hoping to hear his juvenile voice. I was disappointed; but half of me already expected the result. The message answered that Mike's number was unavailable. I sent him a text message, just in case.
Mike, I'm lost, Pleez call me back.
As I glumly put the phone back, I noticed that another item that didn't belong to me was put in my bag. A worn-out blue wallet I noticed as I lifted it up, for closer inspection. I opened it and there was another picture of me again, this time embedded onto a driver's license.
It was a strange object; the wallet. It belonged to Bella, but I was puzzled at why it was handed to me. Deciding that there were forces beyond my control, I dropped the matter, and put the wallet back into my bag.
After we ate dinner in silence, I headed to the bathroom to take shower.
As I let the water run, through my hair, I thought about what I was going to do tomorrow. There were ultimately two scenarios that I would face. I would either wake up from this strange dream I was having; and go on with my life or, I would face Forks High School tomorrow and improvise from there on.
The thought of meeting Edward Cullen frightened me; I didn't know how he was going to react to me, if he was going to hate me. I didn't want to be hated by something I loved; so deeply it affected me. I shivered; my skin broke into a layer of goose bumps. The persistent thought continued to follow me until I was lying in bed.
I tried to force myself to sleep, it didn't work. I was too overwhelmed with nervousness, or was it excitement? I got up suddenly, pulling the sheets away and jumping off the bed. My feet landed on the floor, with a loud thud.
I opened my door quietly and closed it behind me. As I started to descend the stairs, I could hear the sound of Charlie's snoring. I smiled as I walked down the stairs, carefully watching my steps in the darkness. With one last attempt, I fleetingly opened the front door.
Nothing had changed from this afternoon. All that I could see in the moonlight was the vivid outlines of the trees. I put on my running shoes that were by the entrance and closed the door behind me. I stood there for a long minute, reminiscing of the times I had spent with my family. I started to jog down the dark driveway, which soon broke into a sprint as I made it onto the path, seeing my surroundings for the first time.
It was empty and isolated; separated from the rest of the world. It daunted me. But I didn't care what would become of me, so long as I still had the love of my parents, even after they were long gone.
I continued to run with that thought, fighting against the ache that burned within me.
I woke up feeling groggy and cold; getting sleep deprivation from the night before. After my hour run, I had arrived back and collapsed into bed from exhaustion. I didn't feel like going anywhere today, it was still early in the morning.
Unlike what I was expecting, Charlie had appeared into the room to say bye, and told me what time he'd be coming home. He also gave me directions to the school before he left. I walked slowly to the bathroom with my toothbrush and hairbrush. I looked at my reflection; there were shadows underneath my eyes, and my hair was messy. I combed through my hair slowly and brushed my teeth, not in the mood to go to school. I went to get dressed, but unsure of what to wear.
Eventually, I picked out a pair of jeans with a striped t-shirt underneath a long-sleeved brown hoodie. I was trying to look as ordinary as possible. Charlie had bought me some blank exercise books and stationery for school. I took a couple of each and put them in my sling bag, remembering to take out the twilight book and left it under my pillow.
I walked downstairs and vaguely checked the time. I was going to be late. After spending too much time fussing over my clothes, time had escaped me. I decided to skip breakfast, just grabbing a pear from the kitchen counter. I slipped my shoes on whilst munching on the piece of fruit. I put my helmet on with a click, and carried my bike outside. I hurriedly locked the door behind me, before I realized I had forgotten the key. Luckily, I'd remembered that Bella kept a spare under the eave. I checked for it and there it was; I sighed with relief before putting it back into place.
I started to peddle through the rain, and was getting a work-out whilst I was at it. My legs worked harder as I pushed myself faster, as well as trying to maneuver through the steep slippery hills and some rocky roads. In less than 15 minutes of riding, I finally saw a sign that read "Forks High School", under that was another message "community spirit".
I entered the school, still on my bike, and began looking around for the front office. I could see several students staring at me. I tried best to ignore them. After a few minutes of looking for the office, I started to get frustrated. Why had it been so easy for Bella to find places, when I couldn't? I thought angrily to myself.
Without caution, I pulled my bike into a small road, when out from nowhere a speeding black Volvo was hurtling its way towards me.
I shut my eyes instantly; afraid of what was going to happen next. I heard the screeching of tires and then the sound came to sudden stop. I opened my eyes to see if I was still alive, the car had actually stopped several feet in front of me.
Looking up into the car, I saw them then. All five of them; Rosalie was sitting in the front passenger seat, her beauty was indeed 'overpowering'. Jasper; lean, tall and skinny was seating at the back. Next to him was Alice, her short black hair and small figure, fitting herself snuggly into the middle seat. A big muscular arm stuck out from the window, from behind the driver's seat, I could tell that it belonged to Emmett. And then my gaze met the black eyes of the boy sitting in the driver's seat. His eyes were staring deeply into mine. His beauty enthralled me, beyond my deepest imagination.
Before I was put here
It was utterly impossible that anyone; in such short time of acquaintance; could affect me so much.
I continued to stare at him, even as he climbed gracefully out of the car. As he approached me, I tried to catch my breath.
"Are you alright?" he asked. His voice was rough and hoarse, but his eyes seemed concerned. Not angry as I thought, I was relieved.
He was still waiting for me to respond, staring at me with curious eyes. Without thinking, I automatically said his name.
"Edward" I said softly, my eyes starting to tear up, from the emotion I was feeling.
"What?" he said in perplexed response. His tone had changed, he was now incredulous; he met my gaze with confused and frustrated eyes.
"Um, I mean, I'm fine" I said quickly. I hurriedly turned around; facing away from him and started pedaling before he could respond. My face was now turning red from embarrassment. I felt his gaze on the back of my head. I rode quickly until I was out of his sight.
I was relieved and annoyed when I finally found the front office. It had been in front of me all along, concealed behind the shrub trees. I stopped my bike outside and locked it loosely to a pole. I took my helmet off as I entered the warm room.
A short woman was there sitting in the desk in front of me. She had short red-orange hair, and wore thick glasses. As she saw me, she looked concerned, I guess judging from my disheveled look.
"May I help you?" she asked politely.
"Yeah, I'm Isabella Swan" I replied. I felt guilty committing the act of using identity theft.
She paused. "Yep, okay. I need you to fill out this form and I also need some ID as well" she said, whilst systematically handing me the yellow form.
I filled out the form, it asked for my date of birth, my previous school and stuff like that. When I had finished, I handed her back the form as well as Bella's driver's license. She looked at the photo and then at me, and then read through the form.
"Are you feeling alright sweetie?" she asked kindly.
Something behind her tone made me think that I did something wrong. I looked at the form again reading it upside-down. It had occurred to me that I had written my actual date of birth instead of Bella's. According to what I wrote I was going to born for at least another four years.
"I wrote the wrong date. My bad" I added. I reached out for the form but she held up her hand to stop me.
"No, that's alright I'll fix it for you". While she changed the numbers I made a mental note to remember everything I knew about Bella. Since I was here and she was not I would try to keep my real identity secret for the time being. Who knew what kind of trouble I had caused just by being here.
She handed me back the driver's license, and gave me a timetable for today's lessons, followed by another form.
"Show this form to each of your teacher's, and get them to sign it. At the end of the day, hand back the form to me and then, you are officially part of this school" she said welcomingly.
"Thanks" I said automatically.
"Have a nice day" she responded back to me.
I walked out of the office and soon felt the cold weather shudder me again. I pulled my hood over my head as I went over to unlock my bike.
Time had seemed to pass by me, when I had finally reached the door of my first class. I was still in a daze of what had just happened to me.
"Building 3, Room 12", I recited, as I looked up at the room number. Surely enough this was my first class; English. In this hour I would meet Eric for the first time. Everything that I did, or was going to do made me nervous. I built up the courage to knock.
"Come in" a voice came in response.
I opened the door, and saw that half of the students were staring at me. I looked away and started searching for the teacher. Mr. Mason was standing at side of the class watching the students. I walked straight up to him and handed him the green form. He looked at it, and he raised an eyebrow. He then signed it and handed it back to me, directing me to sit at the back of the classroom. I kept my eyes down until I finally reached my seat.
As soon as I released my eyes to look up, I saw a single boy still staring at me. I looked away and directed my attention to the blackboard. In that flash second I could tell that this was Eric, he had a slightly nerdish appearance.
I struggled to make out the words written on the board, from sitting where I was. It was just as Bella had described it, the topic was based on Shakespeare's plays. The period was dreadfully long; I spent most of the lesson analyzing Shakespeare's tragedies, not bothering much about the histories. Eric hadn't spoken a single word to me in that time, and I was wondering if he ever was going to.
The bell had gone then for next period, I took my time to pack my stuff. He had surprised me, when I saw that he was standing in front of me.
"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" he asked.
"Yep" I said, as I stood up, he was still looking down at me.
"Hi, I'm Eric" he said as he extended his hand. I didn't take it.
"What class do you have next?" he questioned again. Everything seemed so rehearsed, I knew so much about the story; I truly felt 'déjà vu' at that time.
"Government, with Jefferson in Building 6" I replied dully.
"Oh that's excellent, my class is in Building 4, and I can help show the way if you like" he responded cheerfully.
"Thanks that will be great" I truly appreciated the help he offered me, knowing myself that I would probably get lost again.
We walked slowly through the corridors; I couldn't tell if he was doing this on purpose. He did most of the talking on the way there, I actually found him interesting. I discovered things about him that were hidden behind the book persona, finding out his hobbies on weekends, his favourite video games, music, books and foods. He had asked me the same questions in return, but I replied that I didn't have any favourites; knowing that he would have probably never heard of them before.
We had conversed so much in that short amount of time, I was beginning to worry if I had looked to keen towards him. But gratefully at the end of it he had said:
"Hey, I'll see you later at lunch. Come by our table and I will introduce to you my other friends" he said light-heartedly.
"Okay, See ya" I said and waved him goodbye.
I walked into my next class in a cheerful mood, making a new friend in the oddity of this place. Again, I met the curious eyes of students, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. I handed my form to the teacher and like last time, he just signed it and sent me to the back of the classroom.
As I walked down the middle isle I felt something trip me, I staggered forwards before catching myself on someone's table. I turned around immediately, preparing to glare at who had trip me over. I saw a blond-hair girl place her foot back under her table; her back was facing towards me, but I could see that she was laughing.
My happy mood had changed in an instant; being replaced with anger and irritation.
I had once been a subject to bullying in my old school. They would tease me about being a loner; having no parents. I would try to repress the anger I felt towards them; but one day they had pushed me too far.
A kid had once said to me: "Your parents didn't love you, they were embarrassed by you. That's why they killed themselves, because they were too ashamed to call you their daughter".
I fought back in absolute fury, my fists flying to beat up that kid, convulsive words were pouring out of my mouth. At the end, I ended up hospitalizing the kid and getting myself expelled from the school.
That was when I had met Michelle; my carer. She had been so supporting of me, I learned to take care of myself, fend for myself and became tolerable to hurtful words, because of her. She has been my guardian angel and also my best friend. I missed her, she had been somewhat family to me; I wondered if she knew I was missing from camp.
I sat down at an empty table; keeping to myself. The lesson was boring and I kept on falling half-asleep, whilst writing the answers to meaningless questions.
A girl had turned around from her table to wave at me. I smiled. She seemed friendly, and not gawking at me like the others.
At the end of the lesson, I went to pack up my stuff and saw she was walking towards me.
"Hello, I'm Angela, you must be Isabella, its nice to meet you" she greeted.
"Hi, call me Bella" I responded simply.
"What class do you have next?" she asked.
"I have Spanish, what about you?"
"I have Modern History"
"Oh that's cool, what do you learn about in that subject?" I asked again. I didn't know much about Angela, her personality was very much like Eric's. Though I remembered she ended up with someone else. I wanted to be friends with her; she seemed the most trusting and friendliest of all people.
We walked and had some small-talk. After a while, I soon ran out of things to say. Silence filled the rest of time we walked to our classes. When I had arrived at my door, I waved her goodbye and smiled, she did the same in response.
I found a seat next to a girl who immediately introduced herself.
"Hi, I'm Jessica" she said, her eyes widening with excitement.
"I'm Bella" I answered back. Jessica had dark blonde hair and a small body build which matched her bubbly personality. She looked at me, observing my appearance.
"I love what you did with your hair" she said ecstatically.
"Thanks" I mumbled shyly.
The hour went by surprisingly quick. During the lesson we chattered animatedly about new season and current in-season styles. Their fashions were so odd that I couldn't help but laugh. We were learning about Spanish verbs, I found it hard at first; not knowing any Spanish only French, but Jessica helped me and I soon caught on.
We went together to our next class, and continued to talk about girl stuff, and then I saw Edward pass me. He didn't look at me; he was too preoccupied with something. I looked at him from behind my shoulder, and Jessica caught me.
"He's gorgeous, isn't he?" she whispered and giggled.
"Absolutely" I said bluntly, just to see her reaction. She didn't seem to mind my honesty; she actually pressured me to make the first move. All the bitter feelings she had towards him seemed unapparent now and the book façade was just an exaggeration.
Jessica walked into the classroom ahead of me; sitting herself at a table in the middle. I walked in and routinely handed my form to the teacher. Instead of just signing and sending me to the back, he asked me to introduce myself to the class.
"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan" I mumbled. I said it when no one was listening, to lessen the embarrassment.
"I don't think anyone heard you, can you repeat it again" he pressed
I sighed heavily. "Hello, everyone, I'm Isabella Swan" I said clearly. Now I had everyone's attention. I felt shamed; it was like I was confessing to a problem of addiction.
He was satisfied with my response and handed me back the form. I walked quickly over to Jess, where she had saved me a seat.
"How embarrassing" I complained to her. She laughed in response.
The hour went long again, but I was pleased when I knew the answer to the math question. Mr Varner could no longer humiliate me. Jessica and I were talking in hushed tones when he wasn't listening. She did most of talking; mainly gossip about people in the school. I just listened, not wanting to comment on people myself.
When the bell went for lunch, Jess waited for me whilst I was packing my stuff and when we left the classroom, the corridor was filled with students bustling out, towards the cafeteria for their afternoon feed. Among the sea of faces, I saw Eric and Angela walking towards the same direction.
I walked into the large white room and glanced at all the students. I was looking for the Cullen's table, feeling the need to look at their perfection again. I couldn't find them anywhere.
Jessica led me to a table filled with people and started to introduce me to everyone.
"Hey guys, this is Bella" she said cheerfully. Everyone looked up; I saw that Angela and Eric were sitting at the table as well.
"Bella, this is Josh, Ashley, Henry, Eric, Angela, and Lauren".
All of them had each greeted me with a 'hi' or 'hello', except for the last girl Lauren, she just gave me a fake smile. Her blond hair triggered a flash thought; she was the one who had tripped me over in Government class. I looked away from her, not wanting to give in to the prospect of confronting her.
I sat at the end of the table next to Angela and across from Jess. Everyone had started talking about Josh's birthday. I couldn't relate to the topic so I looked away bored.
I saw the Cullens then, glowing off perfection beyond all extremities. They all looked like actors from a movie. They were so cultivated to flawlessness. The clothes they wore were all designer, their hair suited perfectly to their stature. And their skin was a clear white with no blemishes. None of them were looking at each other or anything in particular, they looked like ivory statues.
I had a curious thought – Could Edward read my mind?
I looked up at him and he had no reaction, still staring blankly at the cracks on the wall. I felt frivolous, at the fact that he couldn't read my mind.
"Edward Cullen" I whispered, under my breath; still not looking away from him.
His eyes shifted to mine and then away. The look of frustration was clearly on his face, I was enjoying this, and I couldn't help but laugh. He had heard me when the others around me couldn't, he glared at me with annoyance on his face, I looked away overwhelmed.
I shouldn't be doing this, I could get myself killed, I thought vigilantly.
I got up to buy some lunch to be away from the scene. Lauren had asked me to buy her a bottle of water, and I begrudgingly obeyed.
I kept my eyes on our table for the remaining time of lunch. I had a chance to talk with Ashley and Henry. Ashley was Angela's friend; they shared in common their preferences in books and clothing. Henry was Eric's friend; on weekends they went gaming online together and also went out to several local rock concerts.
When I saw everyone starting to leave, I said 'bye' to everyone and headed for my next class. Angela caught up to me, and we again walked in peaceful silence. When I had arrived at my next class she said waved me 'bye' and I walked into the heated classroom.
I glanced around at all the students, and caught sight of Edward Cullen. I walked hurriedly down the isle not sparing a look towards him. When I had reached the front desk, there was no teacher there. I turned to look for him, but instead met the wandering eyes of a boy.
"Mr Banner, isn't here today" he said joyfully
"Oh, thanks" I replied. This was as unexpected as any other event.
I walked down towards the empty seat, keeping my head down at my feet. When I had reached my seat, my stomach started to twist upwards. The sensation wasn't painful, it was light, though it made my hairs stand on ends.
This must be the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, I thought.
I sat down as gracefully as I could manage, still promising myself not to look at him. I crossed my arms in front of me; staring straight ahead, keeping my face expressionless. I stayed in that position for a few minutes, before the silence was broken.
"So, are you going to tell me your name, since you seemingly already know mine" he said fluidly.
His voice was like melting chocolate, it was so smooth, rich and luscious.
I did the mistake of looking at him, and I stumbled over my words.
"It's Scarlet-Bella" I said quickly. I felt ashamed over my lack of self-control. I couldn't believe that it was possible that anybody could be so beautiful. Not even celebrities came close to him.
"Well, it's nice to meet you Scarlebella" he said simply.
I didn't respond back; I was feeling too awestruck.
Minutes slipped by us, and I looked down to his hands. They were strangely relaxed and opened; he wasn't affected at all by my smell. Maybe I stank with foul odours that it was better for him, to not want to eat me.
I got bored and tried a pity attempt of relaxing. I leaned forwards; resting my head on my arms and closed my eyes; listening to the sounds of the classroom. I heard girls giggling and guys brandishing about their cars and computers.
Behind all that noise, I heard the sound of Edward's breathing. It had been so rhythmic and calming. His inhalations became deeper and the sound increased in volume. The sound reminded me of the ocean waves against the shore, it had been so peaceful, and yet so violent at the same time.
With that thought, I began to drift to sleep.
I woke up in a familiar place, somewhere in my distant memories. It was within a small cosy room with warm yellow painted walls and the lamplight created a warm ambience.
I saw my mother there by the door, she smile pleasantly at me. I was tucked in my small bed, prepared for sleep but not being able to. My mother spoke to me in French; I was surprised that I still understood her, not hearing her French in over ten years.
"Go to sleep, darling" she whispered to me; her voice was music to my ears.
"But, Mama I can't" I replied back to her.
"Why not, my sweet child, are you scared?" she asked concerned.
"No. I'm too happy to sleep" I replied joyfully.
"What can I do to help you sleep, Escarlate?" she asked affectionately. I haven't heard my name spoken to me for so long, I wanted to see her so badly; it made me cry.
"Sing to me, Mama" I requested, trying to hide the desperation in my voice.
She came over to sit by my bedside, and then she hummed a tune of a familiar song, one that I've recognised for all my life. She then sang the words to the mellow song. It was her lullaby, one that was passed on from her mother.
Her song was about the animals in life, how they relate with each other and that every animal has a purpose in this world. I hummed the song along with her, trying to strengthen the frail bond I had with her, before I was pulled back into reality.
My eyes started to close, and I didn't want to leave yet. Her face was becoming more blurred, I tried to fight back. I opened my eyes as widely as I could, but I could feel drowsiness pulling me towards the darkness.
"No" I cried out before I was pulled into the black depths.
I stood there alone, and blind. Instead of being pulled away from my dream and wake up, I was standing alone in the darkness. I held back the emotions of emptiness and despair that burned me, making only soundless agonizing sobs. My face allowed no opportunity of emotion as much as I wanted to express it. Anguish tears managed to seep from my eyes and nothing more.
"Is she alright?" I heard a boy say, this sound had managed to wake me up.
I opened my eyes and pulled my face away from arms. I saw that my sleeves were now completely soaked with tears. I looked up to see who had awakened me. My eyes were still groggy, and it took me a few seconds to adjust them. The boy before was now looking at me with concern.
"Are you okay?" he asked me gently.
"Yeah, I'm alright" I answered in a dry voice. I was able to pull back from the emotion I felt, suppressing it until a later time. I regained my composure, by not carrying on with bitter tears but returning back to normal.
I wiped the remaining moisture off my eyes, with my un-soaked sleeve, and then I saw a tissue held out in front of me. I turned to look that it was Edward who had offered it.
"Thanks" I said in gratitude as I pulled it from his smooth delicate hands. He didn't seem to be paying much attention, his mind was always preoccupied. With what?, I thought
I glanced up to the clock; we had half of the lesson still left. I sighed.
I took out a notebook and a pencil, from my bag and flipped to the back of the book. I kept myself preoccupied by drawing random things that I saw in the classroom; photos of animals, people and trees outside. I had always been surprising good at replicating things from life to paper. I began to etch in the details of shading when I saw that he was looking at my drawing.
"Nice drawing" he commented.
"Thanks" I said and gave him a half-smile.
"I especially like your lion, he looks very… masculine" he added. He didn't seem to mind making small talk with me; I was surprised by the notion. Though, I scoffed in reply.
"No, it really looks exceptional, you should do art"
I didn't answer back to the remark and we fell into silence again.
I felt awful by my lack of interest, Edward was trying to be my friend and all I did was reject him. This was so unlike Bella's first day, Edward had glared her down like an enemy.
We sat in a minute silence, before I started to question him.
"So, what kind of stuff are you into?" I asked him casually, not meeting his eyes. He paused.
"I like fast cars…" he began, with a rebellious tone.
"Typical male" I interrupted.
"…and I enjoy listening to music on weekends" he said lightly, and I looked up. Then I saw his captivating crooked smile, my heart – without warning – ran a mile.
I fell silent and he changed the subject, starting with the next question.
"What were you dreaming about?" he asked casually with slight frustration on his face. His question had been so personal, and deliberate. He was just a stranger to me.
What gave him the right to know? I asked myself coldly.
I gave him the answer nonetheless. "It was about my mother" I said sadly, trying to hide the tinge of desperation in my voice.
His expression grimaced. "It was a nightmare" he stated, matter-of-factly.
"No, it was a happy dream" I corrected him.
"Then, why were you crying?" he asked in irritation. I looked at him; his face was fuming with aggravation. I couldn't understand why he felt that way, I was nobody to him. It wouldn't matter to him, why I was crying. His tone had shocked me, and I couldn't respond back as strongly as I wanted to.
"I don't know" I said in indignation under-my-breath, as I looked away from him. My voice was barely a whisper, that it may have made my answer looked weak. I was emotionally strengthened to not release feelings; it was somewhat comforting to me to have some control over my life.
He was discontented by my lack of response, and he questioned me again.
"How did you know my name?" he asked curiously, his tone was light, but I could feel that the subject matter was anything other.
"I've read about you, and I practically know everything there is to know about you, pretty much." I simply stated, not meeting his eyes. I gave him whole-hearted honesty in my response, now all that mattered was how he was going to react.
He was shocked just as I expected, his eyebrows furrowed and his expression resembled distaste.
"I didn't understand a word of what you just said" he said frankly.
I sighed heavily. "I know you don't. But I don't think I could ever explain it to you, without destroying you and everyone else around here" I clarified darkly. Even if I did explain the situation to him, he wouldn't think it was logical, even I didn't believe that it was possible.
"I still don't understand" he pressed. His tone had changed, he was now annoyed at me. Now I knew what Bella meant about Edward having a 'multi personality disorder'. I laughed silently at that thought.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked in a low rush of words. I just gave him a sneering look in return. His face showed frustration and some regret, for saying the words out loud.
My tongue rolled over my teeth and I gave a short hard laugh. "Wouldn't you like to know" I said scornfully, my eyes narrowing to show that I knew exactly what he meant. He glared at me with infuriated black eyes, and I looked away hurriedly. I couldn't allow myself to play with danger anymore; he might as well have killed me on the spot.
The bell rang then for next period, and Edward fluidly rose from his seat, and was the first one out the door.
I stared blankly after him, regretting what I had just done. I knew that my words were going to torment him; trying to figure out what I meant. I would go apologise to him tomorrow.
I shouldn't have said anything, I thought miserably.
I saw the boy from before approach me. I looked up at his face and he was worried.
"Hey, are you alright?" he asked with concern.
"Yeah of course, why do you ask?" I enquired curiously.
"Well, you looked kind of angry before, and you were crying in class" he stated obviously.
"Oh, that's just me except for the crying, I don't usually do that, how embarrassing" I admitted flippantly.
"Yeah, you were dreaming right?" he asked, lessening his seriousness.
"Yeah"
"I heard you talking in your sleep" he said shyly, but light-heartedly.
"Oh man" I groaned. I didn't know that I talked in my sleep; nobody ever told me. Or was it that nobody was ever listening.
"Don't worry about it; I couldn't understand half the words you were saying. You were speaking French" he encouraged.
"Yeah, I get that from my mother" I said in sarcastic remorse. He laughed at my comment.
"I'm Mike, by the way" and he extended his hand in greeting.
"Bella" I said and shook his hand politely.
"What class do you have next?" he asked cheerfully.
"Gym" I said and his smile widened.
We walked together to our next class talking about anything that popped into our minds. I found out that Mike was just like me. He commented on my slight accent and asked me where I came from. I told him Phoenix. At first he wasn't convinced but I also added that I travelled around a lot. He lived in Chicago for half of his life, and had moved here recently. I found out that he lived with his dad, who was half Irish, and that his mum had passed away when he was young, due to a rare form of cancer.
"Sorry about that" I said, whilst contemplating the fact.
"No need, I don't even remember her that much" he said sadly.
This is what we shared together in common overall, losing a loved one; personally hating life and all its existence, with God's unjustified reason to end it.
We went our separate ways when we headed to the change rooms. I didn't see any girls in there who I knew, so I changed behind a doorway away from their observing eyes.
In gym, we played volleyball. I was not as bad as thought I would be. My rigid legs seemed to give me an advantage, and I was able to set the ball for other players, and not fall over. In return I got some cheers from players on my team, and I was given several hi-fives, especially from Mike.
I went to get change as fast as I could so I would arrive at home before evening came. There was no wondering what could happen to me in the dark with the relentless rain.
I suddenly remembered to hand in my form, and I turned around and started walking towards the direction of the front office.
When I entered the office, Edward was there. I started to hyperventilate, and I tried to pull back the control. He didn't turn around at the sound of my staggered breathing, I was relieved.
I just watched him, like how I would watch a beautiful bird; taking to thought how it glided through air and its rested motionless figure.
He was talking to Ms Cope, leaning in towards her. He wanted to change classes from sixth hour biology to another subject, and it was entirely my fault. I had affected him so much with my horrendous words that he was willing to swap classes just to avoid me.
None of that seemed to matter at the moment though. When I was near his presence I felt sheer thrill of happiness, I couldn't understand why, but it would untangle me to become my peaceful self.
But when he would speak to me, I would have the opposite effect. I felt a surge of jealousy towards him; it was an unjustified excuse to behave in such a way. I guessed that maybe I was nervous, and would always have that knee-jerk reaction.
A blond haired girl had appeared into the room, and she placed a tardy slip onto the tray at the desk. My hair spun around in tangles around my face.
Edward flashed a glance back towards me with hardened features. Even as he gave me the hostile stare, all I could do was stare at him dreamily, a smile forming on my face.
"Please, Ms Cope" he pleaded to her with angel eyes, leaning as close to her as the desk would allow.
Her eyes widen in response. "Edward, maybe we could discuss this later" she said hurriedly, trying to catch her breath at the sudden close proximity. I had also the same response.
He sighed in frustration, and straightened upright. "Never mind then, I can see that its impossible. Thank you very much for your help" he said quickly, reciting the exact wording of the book. Everything seemed much clearer now that I was re-living the story through my eyes, my senses heightened at everything that I felt. His voice was so soothing in all forms, frustration, annoyance, anger; all of which calmed me nevertheless.
He turned away from the desk and began to storm out of the door, not before giving me another antagonistic stare with the full force of his black eyes, exposing me to all forms of hatred.
I didn't shy away from the stare; instead I opposed it with a look of my own, the look of serenity and calmness; the emotion that he had brought up from within me. I smiled affectionately towards him; he looked away angrily with a hint of disbelief.
And then he was out of the door. I sighed in disappointment and walked slowly over to the desk.
Ms Cope's face was completely red, I suppressed a laugh.
"So dear, how was your first day?" she asked while trying to regain composure.
"Fine" I said truthfully. "Mr Banner wasn't here today to sign my form" I said as I remembered.
"Well, that's okay, we'll just get him to sign it tomorrow" she said warmly
"Thanks. Have a nice day" I said as I waved her goodbye.
"You to" she replied back.
I walked over to the bike rack next to the car park, and saw Edward there. He was in his car; not moving, but tracking me with his ferocious eyes. The fact that he was going to hate me on my first day was inevitable.
He stared at me with absolute hatred, in preparation for attack, like he was going to run me over with his Volvo. His family were in the car as well, they were looking from him to me, in disbelief. I could only gaze back at him with a smile, not fear like he was expecting.
He started the engine with abrupt force, and sped down to road – narrowly missing me – until he was out of my sights.
I rode home in almost complete darkness thinking of Edward the entire way there.
My routine at home was so systematically repetitive. I arrived at the empty house, and began doing my homework until Charlie arrived home. We ate dinner in silence, the food was bland, but I didn't complain. I took a shower and then lay sleepless in my bed. I would sneak out of the house and do my midnight jog, come home and collapse from exhaustion.
I woke up in the morning, with purple rings underneath my eyes, and my hair had turned wavy due to the lack of a hair straightener.
I went to school wearing brown pants with a matching woollen sweater and ballet flat shoes. I arrived at school early in the morning, and saw the black Volvo there. My heart jumped with joy. No matter how hard I tried to suppress my happy mood, I ended up walking into the office with a smile.
Ms Cope handed me back the form, I headed up to English.
I noticed Mike sitting on the table near the front row. He waved at me and I waved back. It skipped my mind that Mike was also in my English class. Eric was there to greet me also; he looked tensely at Mike then broke off and started chatting to me. He was talkative non-stop. I didn't mind the blabber; I actually liked listening to people talk. Their voices weren't annoying to me at all, it was soothing in someway to be in the convivial atmosphere, without taking part.
In government, Lauren had again subjected me to her unexplainable callous bullying. When I had entered the class, she was incidentally behind me, and had pretended to be in a hurry that she had knocked my shoulder, causing my books to spill out in front of me.
"Sorry" she said insincerely, a smirk forming on her face.
I glared back at her, with no intention to forgive her.
The rest of the day with Jessica went in a blur; I soon became desperate to see Edward's face, to hear his voice. The sensation I felt when I was with him was indescribable, but I realised that I was addicted to it. I resented that fact; I knew that things would never work between us.
I walked into the cafeteria, patiently waiting to sit down before I could start looking for him.
I glanced almost immediately to the table. He wasn't there, and my heart sank. I felt the depression starting to come back. The fact that he wasn't going to come back for another week daunted on me. I didn't eat any lunch, I wasn't in the mood.
I ended up being late to class for biology. Mr Banner didn't like my tardiness, and he soon told me off for it. He picked on me to answer the questions I didn't know and he told me off for that as well. I felt that Mr Banner had bared a grudge against me for no apparent reason. Maybe it was my quirky hair, or my attitude towards everything, but there was no friendly Mr Banner that Bella had grown accustomed to here. Instead, he was replaced with cranky old Mr Banner, who soon became at the bottom of my list of people I liked.
I was absent-minded in Gym, sighing once every often. The ball had come my way and I smacked it angrily towards the other team, hitting someone squarely in the face. They had sworn loudly, and I couldn't care less. Though, I made an attempt to smile apologetically.
"Watch it Bella" I heard Mike say among the sea voices trying to comfort the person I injured. Mike's voice was slightly frightened by sudden mood swing. I laughed at that, though not out loud.
I came home and did my homework, until Charlie had come home.
At dinner, we ate frozen-fresh lasagne and I managed to start up a conversation with him.
"So how was your day?" I asked, feeling the need to talk to someone.
"It was fine, some people had broken into a liquor store and stole a few bottles" he said heavily.
"Did you catch them?" I asked intrigued.
"No, not yet" he admitted sadly.
"Oh" I replied, and we fell into silence again.
"Was there any good news?" I asked casually, not wanting to lose the connection with this man who resembled my father.
"No, not that I remember of" he said plainly, his eyes observed my change in expression. I was wandering how long I could hold this up, before he would realise that I wasn't his daughter.
His tone had changed unexpectedly. "Oh yeah, I entered you in this competition to win a motorbike, seeing how you enjoy to ride bikes" he said, slightly disappointed at the end.
I soon caught on. "No need to do that Dad, I love the truck. I wouldn't have said so otherwise" I said warmly.
"But you didn't say that" he contradicted.
"I didn't" I said in astonishment, I thought that Bella had already did.
"Well, I'm saying it now, I love the truck Dad, and there is no way that I'm going to get rid of it. Because you bought it for me" I stated matter-of-factly.
"Thanks Bella" he said, I had seem to lighten his mood.
I wasn't lying to him; I did like the truck. I liked its appearance, the colour of it was one of my favourites, and it looked very practical; maybe it would come in handy one day. I just couldn't be up to the challenge to start driving. It was one of my personal fears.
After my shower, I laid in my bed, staring blankly towards the ceiling. My mind was running through a thousand images of events up until this point. I focused on one that calmed me the most. It was the image of Edward and his crooked smile. I smiled in response.
And then, I sighed again. I'm never going to see that again, I thought sadly.
Negative thoughts were always going to appear in my mind, no matter how hard I tried to push them away. I curled up into a ball and hugged myself to sleep.
The next day was worse, as the weather reflected it through the relentless rain. Lauren had started to spread rumours about me; that I was taking drugs, and she had pushed me in the morning period and had knocked my stuff into the puddles in the car park after school. Something which had depressed me the most was the fact that Edward wasn't at school. He wasn't there to save me from the torment, he couldn't care less.
Charlie had reminded me to email Renee; Bella's Mother. I had completely forgotten about her. Her character was unknown to me in the book; I only knew the fact that she loved Bella.
I read through the emails, and typed back trying to sound like Bella.
Mom, don't panic, I'm here. I forgot, sorry.
Forks is alright the weather is always overcast but the people are really friendly. I made a couple of friends at school. Dad is nice to me, he bought me a truck, and I really like it. I think that's all really. How are you mom? How is the trip going? Is Phil doing alright? I'll try to keep in touch everyday. I love you Mom. Chat to you later okay.
Bella
I charged my ipod and my phone before I went to sleep. My pillow felt hard and lumpy under my head, and I tossed relentlessly. I pulled out the pillow from under my head, and threw it across the room in irritation. And then, I saw the book there. I hated it. If I hadn't read it in the first place then I wouldn't be stuck in this mess.
I laid my head flat on the bed, and read the back cover of the book.
About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him – and I didn't know how dominant that might be – that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
The last line had got to me the most.
"Ah, Bella should be here" I groaned out loud.
I opened the book and smacked it into my face, reading the words:
…"Bella you are utterly absurd" …
I groaned again and threw the book alongside with the pillow. I buried my hands into my face, and eventually suffocated myself and made myself sleep.
I woke up into a place that I didn't want to be in. The memory was still fresh in my mind; it was in my family car with my parents.
"Wake up!" I told myself, knowing what was going to happen next. I didn't want to relive the memory, it was too agonising. This dream had appeared to me at least once a year, but I wasn't prepared to face it. Desperation took hold of me, and I began beating at my brain to wake up. I was too deep in sleep, that I couldn't break free.
"Where are we going Dad?" I asked frustrated.
"You'll see" he mused. I scowled.
"Darling, just be patient it, I'm sure you'll like it"mymother said to me in French.
"No I won't, not if Dad doesn't tell me"I replied angrily.
"Hey, no speaking French, when I'm here. I can't understand" he whined sarcastically.
My mother laughed at his comment and I laughed to, followed by my Dad laughing. We stayed in a fit of laughs for a few minutes. This was the only part of the dream that I enjoyed, hearing the sound of my parents laughing. I prepared myself for what was going to happen next.
We followed the endless road for a few minutes, whilst my parents were chatting among themselves. I saw it then. A dark figure had appeared onto the road. It cast a long shadow, and it reminded me of lurking evil. I couldn't see the face of the figure; I could only sense that it was waiting for us to come closer. I was staring in the face of death. He was waiting to kill my parents.
I couldn't say anything, my mouth was clammed shut. I was so shocked that I couldn't even move. I wanted to warn my Dad to stop, before we would hit it. Part of me wanted to protect it then, now I wouldn't give it a second thought.
It was a few feet in front of us now. My mum saw it, and she screamed; the sound I will never forget. My dad turned to look at the figure and steered the car out of control. I could only close my eyes in fear, hearing only the violent sounds that followed.
I didn't want to open my eyes ever, I couldn't leave my parents. Loneliness would be my only pain; I had to focus on avoiding it. I felt another sharp pain tear at my legs and head. I shuddered and focused again. Don't open your eyes, don't open your eyes, I thought desperately.
The pain I felt could only be so bearable. Agony ripped me back to life. I let out a blood-curdling scream and involuntary opened my eyes.
We had crashed into a tree on the side of the road. Broken glass spilled all over the car. I could smell gas leaking and the spillage of blood. I saw my mother there in front of me, and she wasn't moving; she wasn't breathing. Her head was tilted sharply and a large crack formed onto the window, filling up with her blood. I gasped and screamed.
I turned desperately to look at my dad, and screamed again. His eyes were open and his head was twisted convulsively towards mine. I couldn't tell if he was alive or not, but I couldn't look at his distorted face again to find out. I wanted to run. Run away from this nightmare. Escape was my only option. I couldn't move. My legs were jammed in between my mother's seat and mine. My head was starting to leak out blood rapidly and as I saw it I screamed again. I pulled at my legs trying to break free of this torture, and I screamed in pain as I heard one of my legs snap.
For a few minutes, I screamed in fits of pain and torture, only stopping because my voice had finally broke. I still screamed in my mind though; closing my eyes again to stop some of the agony.
It was few hours before someone had come to save us. They had called the ambulance to pull us out from the wreckage. And then, they removed my parents away from me. I didn't have a voice, so I juststretched out my hand in desperation, pleading for them to stay with me. I caught the hand of another person instead; it was a man though I couldn't see his face. His cool fingers locked against my bloodied palm
He tried to calm me down by stroking my matted hair, and then injected some morphine into me. I fell into sleep with a sad smile.
"Bella, Bella! Bella!" someone said as they shook me.
I woke up to see my dad's face with frightful eyes. The dream had always affected me the same, but seeing his loving face now I reacted differently. I hugged him instinctively and buried my face into his chest, crying out fistfuls of sobs. Unable to control my release of emotions my crying had became more broken, and I wept like a little child.
"Bella, Bella calm down, everything is alright, I'm here" he said caressingly, as he stroked my hair gently. I didn't respond and continued to cry, til my lips and throat went dry.
After I had quietened into silence, I turned my head to look at the time. It was three-thirty in the morning. I held back tears and looked up to Charlie. His expression was ambivalent and distant; it must have been long ago since Bella has ever cried like this before.
"Thanks, for doing this Dad" I whispered hoarsely.
"No problem" he said softly, and I smiled.
"Are you ready to sleep?" he asked slowly.
I didn't want him to leave me, but I couldn't let him suffer from lack of sleep, just because of my personal problems. I nodded my head in reply.
He left me, and then I slept dreamlessly until the morning, just the way I liked it.
In the morning, I was feeling tired as always, my eyes were now permanently marked with purple rings and my face was blotchy from my crying.
Charlie had already left and I went to take another shower. I began the cleansing process by washing my hair, and then my body. But, I felt even as hard as I scrub that I could never get rid of the blood which stained me. I brushed my teeth and ate breakfast, which was cereal and milk. I decided to ride to Thriftway this afternoon to buy some things. Shopping was a way to relieve my stress.
I came to school on time and rode my bike into its spot onto the bike rack. As I was walking to English I could feel pains all around my body. I had a headache, my eyes stung and I had the tingling feeling in my legs.
I saw Eric already in class and I went up to greet him.
"Hey Eric" I said as I went to sit down.
"Hi Bella, are you alright?" he asked with concern. I guessed that maybe I wasn't looking like my usual self, for him to ask the question. But I think it was more to do with the rumours of my drug use, and the apparent purple marks under my eyes.
Lauren was less mean to me today, only giving me several unfavourable glares. I didn't fight back as long as she kept her distance. Jessica was in a happy mood, she was talking about going out and if I would like to join her. I didn't feel like I was up to it, so I politely declined. The bell rang again for lunch and I was held up in the crowd of people, slowly making there way into the canteen.
I sat down in my usual spot and listened in to the topic of conversation. It was about Lauren's birthday, and again couldn't relate to the topic. Though, I considered sending her a feral animal in the mail, or maybe a stink bomb, I amused myself with that thought.
My headache had become worse, and my eyes stung at the bright lights. I buried my face in my hands and groaned.
"What's wrong Bella?" Angela asked gently.
"I have a headache" I moaned miserably, my hands still covering my eyes.
"Oh that blows" she said shaking her head. Her tone had changed to curiousness. "Why is Edward Cullen staring at us?"
I instantly pulled my hands away and looked to his table.
There he was; my mind had been so pre-occupied that I didn't notice. He was staring at me with a curious frustrated expression. His eyes were still black and his face was undoubtedly more angry than curious, though he was slightly amused.
I felt instant pressure release again, and I sighed happily. I looked at him cheerfully, unable to control the grin that formed on my face.
Angela looked curiously from me to him and then shrugged, turning her attention to the others.
He didn't look away. His expression increased in intensity, his eyes were now more ferocious and he opened his mouth slightly to show a full set of limb-tearing teeth, which glistened menacingly at me.
This had managed to break my calming bliss. I looked away in undeniable fear; it was seeping into my veins and spreading throughout my body. I shivered violently, swearing not to look at him again. I didn't eat any food, afraid of meeting his eyes again when I got up.
He had too much control over my senses, I realised.
I walked quickly to Biology, before Mr Banner would tell me off and before Edward would arrive there. I sat down and hurriedly took all my stuff out, organising it neatly on the table.
I saw his outline from the corner of my eye, he was approaching fast. My heart began to beat double-time, my breathing was becoming staggered.
His chair pulled up next to mine, and he slid gracefully onto it. My eyes widened, and my back stiffened. I couldn't control the feeling of fear that had overtaken me. I looked away from him and slid my chair as furthest as I could.
I felt someone touch my back and I screamed out automatically.
"Geez Bella, relax" I heard Mike say half-jokingly from behind me.
He walked out in front of me and looked at me anxiously. I smiled back nervously.
"I'm okay" I said shyly.
I tried to relax my breathing by taking deeper breaths. I allowed a glance at Edward. His expression was hardened, but his eyes showed amusement. I scowled. He was enjoying this, playing with my emotions. Then I remembered how I had treated him last time, maybe this was his pay back. I still owed him that apology. I opened my mouth to start speaking, but then he cut me off.
"Don't speak to me" he said rudely. His words were so fast that they were a blur. I was taken aback by his tone, but I persisted to talk to him, even if he told me not to.
"I just wanted to apologise for the things I said on Monday, I didn't mean them, I'm sorry" I said, almost as quickly as he did. I bit back at my words, I was truly sorry. 'Sorry' couldn't cut it to any level; I was unforgiven.
He didn't respond back, and silence filled the time until Mr Banner started to speak. I was stuck in a rut of mixed emotions. I was feeling exhilarated that he was here today, but I was sad that he wasn't speaking to me and I was angry at myself for being so weak, and him for being able to manipulate me so easily to his liking.
I managed to release all my feelings at once. Unable to control it, I broke into a fit of hysterical laughter with tears streaming down my face. Mr Banner spun round and glared at me. Even though I wasn't the only student to disrupt the silence, several others students were also chatting quietly amongst themselves.
"Would you like to share with us what is so funny Isabella?" Mr Banner asked calmly, glaring at me with irritated eyes.
I held back as much emotion as I could before I responded. "No, sir" I replied apologetically.
"Then will you please pay attention in class" he added and then turned back to the blackboard.
I calmed myself down for a while, and then started again. I snickered uncontrollably and I couldn't reason with it. I wasn't feeling happy at all, and I couldn't understand what had brought on this sudden impulse to laugh.
"What are you so happy about?" I heard a familiar voice ask. I turned my head to see that Edward was staring at me. He was speaking to me, though his tone sounded miserable and sarcastic.
"Nothing" I replied, still giggling.
He looked away annoyed, and I continued to stare at him. He was so fascinating to look at. His skin was pure white like snow, and his hair was reddish-brown just like mine only his was lighter. His eyes were coloured black and bruised with purple shadows underneath. His face was so perfect and noble; each part was emphasized as a feature; his nose, mouth, cheekbones and jaw. I couldn't doubt that his absolute perfection was the mark of a vampire. I wondered if he knew that I knew his secret.
He abruptly turned his face to me, and exhaled sharply.
"What are you looking at?" he asked angrily. His voice was loud enough to draw attention from some of the people around us.
I looked away dazed. His smell had stunned me. The scent of his breath was so potent and seductive, I was drawn to it. It was so unique to any other scent I have smelt before, it had melted me internally.
I needed some fresh air before the scent would drive me crazy. I began fanning myself with my exercise book. My face was starting to flush red.
The air around me was getting stuffy, so I pulled of my jumper. I was modest with my movements; I pulled my arms back through the holes before removing it off from my head. I looked down to my blue short sleeve blouse to see if anything had flown up, luckily nothing did. I placed the jumper back in my sling bag, and put my head down to start work again.
I wrote a couple of lines about cellular respiration before I was easily distracted again. I noticed that there were marks on my arm. One of them was new to me, and I hadn't seen the mark until now. It was so subtle that it appeared only as a discolouration of my skin in the overcast light. The colour didn't stand out much either; it was chalky white which was very similar to Edward's skin. The mark had been shaped like hand print across my arm. I could make out four long fingers which drew parallel lines across my forearm and twisted tightly around the tips. The palm of the hand created a large white band that clearly contrasted with my skin.
I looked intently at it. I could only guess that this was the remains of last night's dream. Whoever had pulled me out made this mark, and had clearly saved my life. I was eternally grateful that they did, even though sometimes I wish they hadn't.
I looked down to my wrist and traced my eyes along the other scars. Those dreaded parallel scars that had caused me pain whenever I looked at them. My experimental method to mask pain with another, I had to admit that I was pretty stupid back then. When I was in the ninth grade I had tried cutting myself. It wasn't that I was trying to kill myself. I had to find a way to relieve my pain, and incidentally proclaimed myself as an 'emo'. There were six of them, which horizontally crossed my right arm.
I caught sight of Edward when I looked away from the mark. He was glancing at it with his shifting eyes, and looked at me when he saw my gaze. I tried to hide my wrist away from him; I wondered what he was thinking when he saw them.
His face wasn't as hostile as before and I managed to give him a half-smile hoping that he would smile back. He didn't, and I started to work again.
The period went long and quiet, though it wasn't as boring. Mr Banner stopped picking on me, and it was nice to have Edward's company, even though he wasn't speaking to me.
When the hour finally ended, Edward rose fluidly out of his seat and again was the first one out the door. I took my time packing my stuff as usual, not in the mood to do sport.
I saw Mike approach, he looked slightly angry.
"What's wrong Mike?" I asked concerned.
"That Cullen is getting on my nerves; he was so rude to you. Sometimes I feel like punching him in the face" he said irritably.
I suppressed a laugh. "Thanks Mike, that's sweet of you" I said half-jokingly.
He smiled at my comment, and then he started on another topic.
"Talking about sweet, have you seen the new GXS Ford motorbike? It's unbelievable and they're gonna give it away in two weeks" he said ecstatically.
"Yeah, my Dad said something about that" I replied plainly.
"Well fingers crossed" he said and he crossed his fingers.
We walked to gym talking about anything we felt like. I didn't feel like talking so I let Mike take the lead. Routine fell into place and we separated again as we walked into the change rooms. I was feeling so tired up to this point; I just wanted to go home. Skipping class wouldn't be so bad on my record, but then Mike would notice if I was gone. I didn't bother changing behind the door this time.
If they wanted to ridicule me, then so be it, I thought defiantly.
Gym went passed in a blur. I was completely absent-minded during the time. Every time the ball was coming to me, I would turn around and see it hit me in the face. I noticed that I was getting worse in sport, I had become moodier and slower in reaction, and it was all due to my lack of sleep.
I felt drowsy as I was walking to the change rooms. My vision was becoming clouded; surely I wasn't going to pass out here. It would be too humiliating to face the aftermath. I decided to get changed as quickly as possible, dashing to the change rooms as soon as the teacher released us. Then I would finally go home and relax. I had so much to do, I had English homework, shopping for groceries, emailing Bella's mum. I sighed. I wish my life wasn't always so complicated.
As I made it into the main area, none of the other girls were there. Yes!,I thought fleetingly.
I hurriedly threw off my shoes and pulled off my polo shirt and my black shorts. I was standing there in my bra and underwear looking through my bag for my blouse, when I heard the door creak open. I straightened upright and grabbed anything that I could cover myself up with.
"Ah" I heard a male voice groan. I spun round shocked to see who was there.
"What are you doing here Mike?" I asked frantically. He had walked in on me and I could only guess the outcome. I was shocked frozen; I would never forgive him for this. He covered his eyes partially with his hand, but he still looked at me through the gaps in-between his fingers.
"This is the guys change room" he said outraged slightly embarrassed. I hated myself; it wasn't Mike's fault it was mine. Stupid, stupid me for not sleeping like normal people.
"Get out Mike!" I yelled, when I saw that he wasn't moving.
He still didn't move and he just kept gawking at me. "You really shouldn't be here" he said amused and he flashed another glance at me through his opened fingers. Anger poured out of me instantly.
"Get Out! Get Out! Get OUT!" I screamed out repeatedly, unable to control my flow of anger. I threw my shoe at him so he would finally get the message.
Mike scrambled out of the change room without another word and I quickly pulled my jeans on. My hands were shaking violently and my stubborn fingers fumbled over the buttons of my blouse. As soon as I slid in my last shoe the one that I had thrown at Mike, I walked quickly out of the room.
I kept my head down as I saw the crowd of boys that were waiting outside the door. I felt their curious gazes all over me. My whole face was red; flushed from embarrassment and flooded with anger. No doubt that this incident would be the word spread throughout the entire school tomorrow.
I stalked off into the direction of the car park, cursing the word "stupid" repeatedly my entire way there. I saw my bike there and I darted for it, almost running towards it. I jumped onto it and leaned over to unlock it. My hands were still shaking and they were twitching over the lock and keys. I was breathing erratically and had to calm down before I would pass out. I let my hands fall limp and I closed my eyes. I relaxed steadily, breathing in lungfuls of pure saturated forest air. The effect didn't last long though, and I banged my head against the handlebars.
"Stupid" I said finally, as I released my last bit of anger from my nerves. I turned my head around to see if anyone was watching me. I met the familiar black eyes of the person in the Volvo.
Edward was staring at me with curious and amused eyes and he was shaking with laughter, his face screwed up trying to hold back a smile. My face turned red again; I was humiliated. He had read Mike's mind, Mike had seen me in my knickers, which meant Edward had seen me too. I groaned and turned away from him. As soon as I was released from the cage I bolted myself down the road and out of the school. I didn't even bother putting on my helmet; I just rode home resisting the urge to cry. I came to the house and ran upstairs, jumping and landing face first onto the bed. I let out some angry screams and kicked at the bed, lucky we didn't have any neighbors or otherwise they would think that I was mental. I threw a tantrum; it was my mechanism for dealing with stressful situations. I grabbed my ipod from its charger and stuck the earphones in my ear. I pushed play and turned it as loud as possible, to drain out my thoughts of shame.
It was approaching five o'clock and I'd forgotten to go to the shops. Charlie would be coming home in three hours and I hadn't even bought the groceries. I pulled myself up from bed, and walked to the bathroom to wash my face. I put my ipod down onto the cabinet shelf, and turned on the cold water. I washed my face relentlessly, scrubbing it with foam cleanser and splashing the water onto my neck to keep myself awake. I grabbed the hand towel, and messily dried myself.
I took my ipod and strode downstairs, grabbing my coat on the way down. In one measured movement, I slid on my coat and locked the door behind me.
The ride to Thriftway was quite smooth despite the darkness. The rain had turned into a light sprinkle, and the cold wind against my face seemed to exhilarate me as well as cleanse my mind. The music had also helped, and I was able to focus when I finally walked through the automatic doors.
I was going to buy heaps of stuff, being the shopaholic that I am. I took the trolley from the bay and began pacing, pulling things off the shelves, picking at least one item from each isle. I took some herbs and lemons for the fish we were going to have tonight. I bought a box of aspirin and some motion-sickness tablets in case I needed them. I was in the middle of choosing which tea to buy for my sleeping problem, when I saw a familiar face.
"Hey Bella" Eric said happily, his face glowing with enthusiasm.
"Hi Eric" I said surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm out shopping, just like you" he said still grinning.
I ran out of something practical to say and I asked the first thing that came to my mind. "What do you reckons better Chamomile or Jasmine tea?" I asked showing him the two boxes. I didn't expect that he would know anything about tea; he didn't seem of be that kind of a person.
"I'd take the Chamomile for relaxing; it also helps to have warm milk with it before you go to bed" he said smiling.
"Wow Eric, how do you know that?" I said in astonishment.
His smile turned rebellious at my fascinated interest. "I've had my share of late nights" – he laughed – "And my mom's also a herbalist" he finished lightly.
"Cool" I replied.
We walked around the isles and Eric helped grab some groceries for me. His dad was waiting in the car for him just to pick up a loaf of bread and a bottle of milk. I had to hurry as well so I could get home in time to cook.
When I finally checked out, the total came to almost seventy dollars. I had spent too much and also had bought too much. How was I going to carry this home?, I asked myself dolefully.
Eric helped carry some of my groceries to my vehicle, and he was shocked when he saw that I had only bought my small bike with me, a square metal basket attached to the back.
I pathetically piled the bags into the basket, knowing that there was no way that it would all fit.
Eric laughed at me. "I'll give you a ride home" he offered courteously. I looked at him with cautious eyes. How could he be so generous to me, I barely know him, I thought vigilantly.
"Okay" I said slowly, slightly dumbfounded.
He walked off into different direction and let him lead the way, pushing my bike alongside me. We came to a stop in front of a blue four-wheel drive.
I saw a man in the driver's seat. His expression was annoyed and his apparent baldness could be seen from the sides of his scruffy hat. Eric opened the door and leaped into the seat dumping the groceries in his hands onto the floor of the car.
"What took you so long?" the man yelled furiously. After a second pause he started again. "Where's the stuff?" he asked even angrier.
The man hadn't seen me and I didn't make an attempt to be noticed. "Its here Dad" he said obviously, waving the bag in front of him. "I was just helping Bella with her groceries" he said and he gestured to me. I looked could feel my face froze in position, staring intently. I broke off the stare before it became awkward.
"Hi" I stammered. His face slowly lit up into a welcoming smile. His eyes flashed from his son's and mine, curiously observing my nervous behavior.
"Hello" he said politely.
"Hey dad, I hope you don't mind dropping Bella off at her house, there not enough room on her bike to carry all this stuff" his voice sounded confident. I hoped he didn't get the wrong impression that I was coming on to him, when I asked him about the tea.
"Sure Eric" he said and he flashed another glance at me, judging my appearance, whether I was up to his son's standards. I put my bike into the back of the car and jumped in, bracing myself for the sickness that would come soon after.
It was pleasantly silent during the ride to my house. Eric and his father talked animatedly amongst themselves and occasionally asked me for my opinion on a topic I had no clue about. Eric's father was into cars and was a fanatic expert on it. I just nodded as he explained to me the purpose of suspension, gearboxes and cylinders, I waved off the information overload seeing it as pointless to remember or use one day.
My street was quiet as always, as peaceful green trees shielded it away from outsiders.
As soon as the car stopped I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt, and flew open the door. My legs dangled over the edge of the seat, as gulped in the fresh air. I stepped out of the car and began to walk to the back of the car. Eric had been faster than me and was already there, pulling it out for me. I thanked him and rode my bike to my front door. He trudged behind me carrying my grocery. He was so gallant, not many boys I have met were like him. That what separated my generation from his, he was from the eighties and I was from the new millennium. The era of the rebellious youth clubbers nation filled with terrorists and explicit ads on TV.
"So I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow then" he said smiling.
I smiled back. "Yeah I guess so Eric, and thanks for helping me with the groceries". I felt regret in what I said, I didn't want to go to school tomorrow after the incident that happened at gym. I was going to be shamed by everyone, students, teachers, and as well as my friends, with enemy Lauren alongside them.
We said our goodbyes and I headed into the dark room. I looked at the clock on the mantelpiece and I had about an hour left to get dinner ready. I wanted to surprise Charlie with my lemon fish bake with mash potatoes because he was so nice to me during my stay, and it would be nice to cook for my dad impersonator. I had learned my cooking skills from Michelle; I have to thank her for that later. I wondered how long I had be
I took the fish from the freezer and defrosted it warm water, whilst cutting up the herbs and potatoes. Preparing the fish was disgusting but I had managed to do it. I had just finished setting the table when Charlie's vehicle pulled into the driveway. I took out the baked fish just in time, it was perfectly cooked through and I grinned at my creation.
"Mmm what smells good" he said happily as he walked through the door, inhaling the smell of the fish. He saw me and then smiled.
"Surprise Dad, I hope you like fish" I said joyfully showing him my cooking creation.
"Wow Bella you can cook. I'm impressed" he said and I blushed.
We ate dinner in silence as usual. I guess that we were both tired of a long day's work with his chasing bad guys and my suffering through social and academic life at school.
After my early shower I again laid sleepless in my bed. I then remembered the advice Eric had given me about chamomile tea. I snuck downstairs, my steps creaking loudly against the old floorboards. I opened the packet of tea and boiled the kettle. I took the milk from the fridge and filled a glass with it halfway. I poured the hot water into the tea and into the milk. I drank the two separately and it tasted terrible. The chamomile tea had burnt my tongue and left a weird aftertaste, and milk tasted 'off' when it was mixed with water. When I had finished I left the cups in the sink, a reminder to myself to wash it tomorrow. I went upstairs and sat at the desk. I switched on the computer and typed in an email for Bella's Mom.
Hi mom, everything's going great, I've had a busy day. I just cooked fish for dad he seemed to like it. I went shopping at Thriftway and bought some groceries. School is good; I've got a friend in every class, which is great. This school is so small compared to my old school everyone seems to know each other here, they are accepting me nicely. I happy here, don't worry about me. Worry about yourself for a change, you deserve it. Hope you are having fun with Phil. I love you Mom.
Bella
I was racking my brain on things to the comment but I couldn't think of anything else, so I just sent it.
I tucked myself in bed, pulling all my sheets up close and cozy. The effect of the tea was starting to take a hold of my consciousness. I let it, and closed my eyes, falling to sleep within seconds.
I was dreaming in my sleep, but it wasn't unpleasant. Normally if I didn't dream up a nightmare it would an awkward dream, where I was in a situation that would never ever happen to me.
In the dream I was running, running away to hide. In my hand, I held a bag of cash and in the other holding a gun. I'd just robbed the bank and I was running away from the cops, they were gaining on me. I tried to run faster but it was like I was stuck in slow motion. I had no idea why I robbed the bank; all I knew was that I was running. It was in the afternoon and I was running through the alleys looking for a way to escape. Their patrols cars were trailing behind me getting closer.
I jumped over a five foot brick wall and then I was cornered. There were two cars already heading towards me, I was stuck in a dead end. I tried to jump back over the wall but they had already stopped in front of me.
I turned around and put my hands up, still clutching the gun and cash. I saw the cops their guns already pointing at me. My legs shook frightfully and then I recognized one of the cops. Charlie was there behind the car door, aiming his gun at me through the window. I took a step towards him.
"Don't move. Put your gun down and put your hands in the air!" he called out with authority.
I stiffened. "Dad, it's me Bella" I called out in fear. I didn't drop the gun down though I desperately wanted to, I was frozen with fear.
"Put the gun down!" he yelled even louder. He couldn't see me, he didn't recognize me and he was going to kill me. My hand squeezed hard over the trigger, and a shot fired from my gun into the air. In that split instant I heard another shot. I felt a pain rip at my ribs, and I screamed in pain. I dropped both items from my hands, and clutched my stomach.
I looked down to see that I was shot, and blood poured out onto my hands. I glanced up; Charlie had shot me, his face filled with anger and regret. I flashed one more glimpse at my surroundings before I collapsed heavily onto the pavement.
I woke up startled and twitching. It took me a while to slow down my heart, palpitations stuck out of my chest. I was clutching my stomach, and I lifted my hands away and look to it. It wasn't bleeding but I had gripped it too tightly that it had caused a red mark.
I looked over for the time, and it was just past six o'clock. I headed to the bathroom to wash myself, somehow I always felt contaminated after a terrible dream. I ate breakfast, got dressed and headed my way to school.
The news of my incident in the change rooms had spread fast over the school in one day, like these people had nothing else to talk about. I caught some people staring at me when I was locking my bike and when I was walking to English.
Eric didn't talk to me in English; I guess he heard the news too. I had no intention of putting myself out towards Mike or any of the other guys, it just happened. I was unfairly judge by all these people who didn't know a thing about me, one stupid mistake and now everyone's judging me. I wanted to ditch class after English, but I decided not to. Eric said a quick bye to me before he left, he didn't even bother waiting for me.
I walked into Government begrudgingly, feeling that I should have ditched class soon after English. I felt all eyes on me; it was like my first day all over again. I heard Lauren whisper something to her friend, just as I brushed past her. I looked hopefully at Angela surely she would understand the circumstances of my situation as a harmless mistake. She wouldn't gawk at me.
I smiled with relief when she greeted me with a shy grin. We talked quietly when Mr. Jefferson wasn't looking at us, I explained to her what happened and she listened. She accepted my response and we resumed our lesson to the familiar peaceful silence.
Jessica didn't seem to be her bubbly self when I walked into Spanish. She had a crush on Mike, and I just flaunted myself in front of him. I tried to explain what happened but she seemed to be vaguely listening, replying with "hmm" and "okay". We walked in silence to Trigonometry. When I entered the class I met another couple of unfavorable stares. I kept my eyes down throughout the lesson. I felt reluctant to walk to the cafeteria when the bell finally rang. Humiliation would be all I expected when I walked in there. I planned to hide in the bathroom during lunch until it ended, but Jessica pushed me to go along with her.
I felt everyone staring; days like these I wish I wore a hoodie to cover my face. I walked to my seat with my head down. As soon as I released my eyes from the floor, I met Mike's curious eyes. I looked away hurriedly my face turning red. I turned my attention to our table, but again I met the gawking stares. Josh and Henry were staring at me, like they were staring at a mental person. I pulled out my only resolve, which was my ipod. No one was talking to me so it wouldn't be rude to listen to some music, whilst everyone was chatting.
I attached the earphones to both sides and pushed play. I looked straight ahead and then I met the eyes of Edward Cullen. I shut my eyes immediately and leaned back in my chair. I didn't want to process the look of his face, whether he'd be smiling at me or scowling at me.
I continued to listen to the music; it was up to the dance section of my music collection. That was fine by me, the various rhythms overlaid on to each other with the heavy use of bass and repetition was distracting enough for me not to open my eyes.
After a while I heard someone call 'Bella' and I pretended to ignore them. Whatever they had to say to me, it was either going to make me feel embarrassed or stupid, so I pretended not to hear them. I surreptitiously turned up my music, and started bobbing my head to the beat, to seem that I was too deep in the music. I could faintly hear the person now, and then they stopped trying. A smile edged on my lips and I tried to shake it off.
I don't know how long I sat there with my music; I just knew that someone was trying to get my attention. I didn't react to their call; the volume of my music was already turned to loudest setting, so I could do no more than just ignore them.
"Bella!" I heard someone yell my name and rip out an ear-bud from my ears. To my surprise it was Angela, I never heard her raise her voice before it surprised me. She stared down at me with slight annoyance, and I looked around the cafeteria and it was nearly empty.
My ears rang as I tried to focus on speaking without singing the lyrics to the song I was listening to.
"Sorry Angela. Thanks." I said slightly embarrassed.
Angela's face relaxed and she said bye to me before she left. I walked quickly to Biology not wanting to be late, and I forgot to turn my music off. As I turned a corner I collided into a person, someone that I was trying to avoid all day. Mike smiled at me with a shy grin.
"Hey I've been meaning to talk to you about yesterday" he blurted out almost immediately.
"Drop it Mike" I said sternly and then I walked away from him.
He caught up to me and tried to pull me a stop. "I wanted to say I'm sorry, even though it was your fault…" I diverted my path. "But I still shouldn't have looked at you and I shouldn't have teased you".
I was almost there at the door just a few steps further. My senses called me back keeping me from walking further and instead I confronted him.
"Leave me alone" I meant for it to be a strong remark but it ended up sounding like a sulky plead.
He didn't back off. "If it counts for anything… I like to say that you have a hot figure" he said shyly, but we were so close to the door I bet everyone inside had heard.
I was so enraged I felt like smacking him in the head, but he already walked through the door. This was my chance to escape. Escape embarrassment. I turned away from the door and took a single step, before a voice call after me. Mr. Banner, his long droning voice reverberated through the hall.
"Isabella where are you going?" he asked calmly. I failed. I should have ditched class when I had the chance.
"I'm just fixing my shirt" I called back, my response was shaky. I adjusted myself for appropriate entrance. I turned down my ipod and tucked it down my top, placing it in the front pockets of my jeans. I pulled my hair forward so I could cover the earphone. I took a deep breath before I walked in.
No one was staring at me to my relief. Mr. Banner didn't lecture me either; I guess that he was too tired of me already. I sat down next to Edward and didn't say a word.
The music had managed to calm down the butterflies in my stomach and I wasn't as jumpy as I was when I was near him. I should have thought of that sooner it could have saved me some dignity.
The music had now changed to rap and Rn'B. I placed the earphone between Edward and me, so it would be less obvious since I was sitting in the middle of the class. I flashed a glance at him. His eyes were dead black, and he was probably very hungry I wouldn't think of taunting him today. It wasn't even intentional the first time, but it always managed to be pulled out of me.
His face looked like he was concentrating very hard on something. One of his eyebrows were raised, it gave him the look of a very comical figure. With his sensitive vampire senses I bet that he could hear my music. He probably has never heard of twenty-first century music before, him being born in the early nineteen hundreds. That kept me thinking. How old was Edward?
To me he was at least a hundred years old. And to him I didn't even exist. I was yet to be conceived for at least another three years. I put my head down and concentrated back on my work mostly motivated by the music. I listened to my favorites twice, pressing the repeat button. I resisted the urge to sing aloud or bobbing my head.
The music gave me an energetic vibe and I felt light and happy. I was able to concentrate on my work and I. I packed up my pens and my books, we had about ten minutes left so I decided to kill time listening to more music.
I pressed stop and scrolled down my list of songs, hiding my ipod under the table. I had a random collection of music, my preferences always changed according to my mood. Since I was feeling reckless I chose to pick out my section of Lady gaga music. I placed the second earphone in my other ear and then crossed my arms onto the table.
These songs reminded me of my last school dance. It had been more of a rave party than a dance, everyone was jumping around and neon lights flashed around in all directions. It was fun though, my friends and I went to the after-party and each had a turn at the turn tables. It was one of my most memorable moments, I remembered Michelle telling me off for coming home at one o'clock in the morning. I smiled as I remembered the day.
The next song was a hard core rock song; it was still catchy so I continued to listen to it. The lyrics were a bit overrated compared to the songs in this generation. I started mouthing the words to the song, barely opening my mouth. Losing my inhibitions usually came when I too in deep into my music.
I stared down at my ipod, dawdling with its dials and looking through my photos I kept in there. I had pictures of me and my friends in various places. Some photos were at school where we mucked around taking crazy photos, and some others were during our days out to the mall or the beach. I sighed longingly. I wondered how long it would be before I got to see them again.
I turned my music off in time for the bell to ring. For the first time I was the first one out instead of Edward. I headed to gym, walking very quickly so Mike wouldn't catch up to me. The girls in the change rooms were just as worst as people in the cafeteria. They were gawking at me, so I decided to change inside a toilet cubicle. Mike kept his distance away from me, I was glad he did or I might have been tempted to 'accidentally' hit him in the head with the ball. I wasn't even paying mush attention to the game either, if I had learnt anything from Bella it would have been not to try in the first place.
Frustration had arisen from me during gym, suppressing it would be the only thing I could do for now, and it would explode later into my face.
I stalked off after getting changed and headed for my bike, my ticket to freedom.
As I unlocked my bike I heard my name being mention as someone brushed passed me.
"…she just stripped off in front of him. That Bella is sure desperate to make herself noticed she's such a slut." I cringed at the words and closed my eyes to bite back the tears that welled in my eyes.
The other girl's voice was familiar, and then I recognized it as Lauren's.
"Exactly, she's a total whore. Just like that mother of hers." she said loudly, emphasizing each word. My body automatically tensed up and I couldn't control the anger that flowed out of me.
I spun around instantly; she was just two steps in front of me. I lunged for her and grabbed her shoulder spinning her around to face me.
We stood there staring each other off. The tears in my eyes had brimmed over and now flowed down my face. She smiled mockingly, finally being able to find my breaking point. My mother didn't deserve this bad mouthing by some nobody, who takes joy in bringing down others. I found my strength back and confronted her.
"Take it back" I hissed through my gritted teeth. My hands balled up into fists and I was shaking with fury. I might have been able to make her back off if it wasn't for my short height.
She smiled again, her face opening up to my fist. She gave a small laugh and then came up close to my face, and I could smell her cinnamon breath, the fake sweetness masking her hidden scent, the smell of an onion that burned my eyes.
"Why should I? It's true. Your mother is a slut and your father is a one-off loser" she said smugly.
My hand left my side and formed a palm, slapping her hard across the face. Time stood still for a moment. It took me a while to process what I just done, the same effect seemed to ricochet off her and she staggered back with shock. Everyone in the parking lot stood frozen with their eyes widen in fear and excitement. My hands shook in distress and I couldn't find my words.
"Bitch!" she gasped cupping her face. A red mark formed across her cheek where my hand had been.
"I– I—I'm…" I stuttered and then she let out a warrior cry and pounced on me. Apologizing would have to come later; all that I thought of now was to keep myself alive from the grips of Lauren.
Her weight fell down hard on me and I tripped backwards falling heavily onto the cement. I was at her mercy she had the power position, and then I felt the first punch at my ribs.
I gasped feeling all the air being pushed out of me. I turned my head on my side and saw a ring of people form around us, their faces were shocked. She gave me another two blows to my chest and stomach. This time I screamed out in pain, and I focused and fought back. I swung two punches in the air one of them connected onto her face and she moved back. I took my chance and escape her grips, squirming out from under her body.
I felt something pull my legs back and I kicked relentlessly. Someone grabbed me from the waist and dragged me backwards, leaving my chin scraping across the surface of the road. I heard Lauren swear an oath and then she pulled me to my feet by my hair. I screamed again and grabbed the first lock of blonde hair I saw. She was much stronger than me and she pushed upright against something hard. My head collided with the object and my mind became disorientated. My head spun around in circles, as I saw flashes of familiar faces in the crowd. I saw Mike, Eric, Jess and Edward. Edward's face was expressionless. Why wasn't anyone helping me?, I thought desperately.
I summoned all my strength and threw my fists onto her face and body. We ravaged at each other in a catfight of hair pulling and child-like slapping. Her nails clawed across my neck penetrating through my skin. I felt it rip and I pushed her off with one jab of my legs. She backed off gasping for air. I took my chance and ran for it. She had noticed my attempt and she jumped on my back. I swung awkwardly underneath her weight and I knocked myself into a car. I couldn't move until someone came to help.
The weight was being pulled off me by some unknown hero, and I turned away from my crouched position. I saw Lauren being held back by a man-like boy, and she kicked in the air and screamed to be freed from his grips. Mike appeared out from the crowd and walked in front of me, shielding me defensively. I didn't make an attempt to go back and continue the fight with Lauren. Gasping for air, I rubbed at my sore muscles and bones.
Mr. Banner came to see the fight that had occurred. He looked between Lauren and me with a horrified expression. I could faintly hear Lauren let out a string of profanities.
"You two!" he pointed so he would get our attention… "In my office now!" he barked loudly. My head was throbbing and I winced at the pain. I heard Lauren say something but it was unclear. I could only make out her screeching "she slapped me!" and then me being dragged by the arms to the office.
Our fight had earned us each three weeks of after school detention. Lauren threw a tantrum in the office blaming that it was my fault, whilst I remained quiet feeling too sore to argue or even talk. I was also forced to move classes from her because Lauren persisted that I was a nuisance to the class. I got placed into second-hour music class with Mrs. Olivia. I didn't know anyone who did music, but hopefully I would get better marks in it because I already knew how to play a musical instrument. After we settled on an agreement Mr. Banner called each of our parents, and I feared what Charlie would say. When I was given the phone, Charlie yelled into my ear, telling me that I had lost my mind. He was absolutely furious and I tried to give as much apologies as I could through the deafening roar. Lauren glared at me with absolute hatred throughout the entire time. Even though she had hurt me I couldn't retain the same anger I had for her, it seemed to seep out of me. I wasn't a kind of a person that loathes another for a lifetime. That's another fact I hate about myself was that I was small minded and I forgave people really easily.
Charlie had picked me up after my meeting. He was raging with fury, probably more upset about something at work before he picked me up, and decided to release his bottled emotions on me.
"What the hell were you thinking Bella?" he asked outraged.
I cowered at his anger and gave a quiet response in return. "I don't know"
"What did she say to you, to make you start slapping people? This is not like you Bella."
I looked out the window. "I don't want to talk about it."
He was annoyed now. "Spit it out Isabella."
I sighed. "She said something..." I couldn't finish my sentence I tried to stop my voice from cracking at that moment and my eyes welling up with tears. I looked up at him and he didn't look at me.
After a long pause he said "Bella, you know that they are just words. They don't mean anything, as long as you don't believe them."
"I know … it's just what she said really got to me." My hands balled up to fists as I said the words.
He sighed heavily. "I won't mention this to your mother on one condition; don't ever do this again."
I nodded.
We fell into silence from that point on, not speaking to each other at dinner. Whilst I was preparing the meal he was watching sports. After I finished washing the dishes I headed upstairs to get a shower. My eyes were already stinging as I collected my bathroom stuff. I slammed the bathroom door and inhaled sharply stifling back tears. I couldn't even manage to last five seconds before a choked back on a sob. I sank to the floor my back pressed against the door and cried. Crying out all my anger and agony took at least an hour. Charlie hadn't come to check on me I preferred if he didn't. I took a quick shower before I went to bed, cleaning out my wounds and re-bandaging them.
Rested in my bed after my shower I was again fixed staring at the plain ceilings above me. I concentrated very hard on getting some sleep and instead saw the faces of my parents. I started again choking back on tears, and I turned on my side and buried my face into pillow. For the first time in a long time I cried myself to sleep.
A woke up to the sound of my stomach rumbling. The clock read eleven fifty two, and groggily got out of bed. I brushed my teeth and got dressed wearing a sweatshirt and black denim jeans. Charlie had already left. I pulled myself out of bed and saw the book I had thrown still on the floor. I had already messed things up badly for myself. I could only imagine how much worse it would get.
I picked up the book and popped it into my bedside draw then I headed downstairs to start my new day. It has been one week since I first arrived here time seem to pass by so quickly. I was enjoying myself here but I shamed myself thinking that because I knew I didn't belong here. I had stolen Bella's Swan's and deceived everyone she knew. If I ever got the chance to meet her she would surely hate me for what I had done.
Saturday morning always came as a ritual to me but today was different. Normally I would lounge out on the couch and watch cartoons and cooking shows until I was bothered to do some chores. Now I felt unnaturally active I wanted to go for a run. Even though my muscles felt sore the sensation of an internal force was being pushed out of me. My mentality was completely drained from exhaustion but my body told me to run and so I did. I picked up the keys from under the eave and started running.
At first I started jogging down the side of the road and then I picked up unexpected pace. It was exhilarating to run again but there was something different this time. I felt myself run faster than ever before my legs were springing across the pavement with no effort and I heard a whooshing noise past my ears. My energy levels were increasing instead of tiring.
It was at the edge of the forest when I finally stopped. I had ran a least a mile without stopping. I hadn't been able to do that before I was surprised at my self. I tried to catch my breath, my heart was pounding in my chest and sweat and rain was drenched through my clothing.
Staring into the forest I was able to find my tranquility as I listened to the soft rain glistened down on the canopy treetops which stood tall and firm next to me. I felt sheltered under them; it was like being safe even though I was mildly exposed. Any rapist or serial might appear out of nowhere about now, but just let me stay a few moments here, I felt the world was one thousand miles away, only me and the trees, breathing in the dew of life, which I always take delight in doing. I inhaled cold earthy air and exhaled hot sleepy breath. And continued doing that I closed my eyes and tilted my head back stretching the muscle that ran down the front of my neck.
