AN:
This is set in 2010, shortly after Aaron's suicide attempt.
Warnings: Referenced suicide attempt, internalised homophobia
...
They're sitting in the hospital room, a comfortable silence hanging between them, when Adam says, "I never did apologise, did I?"
Aaron glances up, frowning. "What?"
"For…telling people about you. I shouldn't have done it. Not before you were ready to tell them yourself."
Aaron avoids his gaze. He knows what he's talking about, of course he does, but he doesn't want to think about the embarrassment, or the fear he'd felt every time Cain would crack a joke, or someone would say something without realising just how close they were getting to the truth.
"You were just protecting Holly," he says at last, because he feels like something needs to be said. He hopes they can just leave it there, because he doesn't feel like going into it. He likes it when Adam visits, because he doesn't push like his mum and Paddy do. With Adam he can joke around and forget everything that's happened, and what he'll have to face when he gets out of here.
"Yeah," Adam says, "but I still could've done things differently. Maybe just spoken to her, instead of telling my parents. Maybe been more careful about blurting it out in public…Holly told me Cain had been saying things."
"Doesn't matter," Aaron says. His mum knows now, and so did Marlon, and who knows who else — and that had nothing to do with Adam, he supposes. "They all thought you were crazy anyway." His lips quirk slightly. It feels forced, but then Adam laughs, and he feels himself relax slightly, even though his stomach still feels tight and uncomfortable. He's felt this day ever since he woke up in the hospital; sometimes it's not as bad, on the days when he feels too numb to feel anything else, but it's always there, an ever present reminder that time is running out, and, very soon, he's going to have to face everyone. They're going to have questions that he'll never be able to answer. His mum and Paddy, they want him to accept it and move on. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to do that.
"There's nothing wrong with it," Adam says, almost as if he's read his mind, and Aaron's stomach clenches. His keeps his eyes trained on his bed sheet, and plays with a stray thread. "I mean it. And me, opening my big mouth…it couldn't have made things easy for you."
He thinks about how Adam reacted when he first found out, and he wonders if he really means what he's saying. His mind is screaming that it's all a lie, that Adam is disgusted with him, that he's only here because he pities him.
But Adam sounds sincere. He's been here every day. He pulled him from that car, and a part of Aaron still hates him for it, but maybe it means he still has his mate.
"I haven't always been the best mate," Adam says, "but I'm here for you now. And I won't be going anywhere - you're stuck with me."
Aaron's not sure if it'll make a difference. It doesn't change the way he feels about himself.
But Adam's here, and he says he's not going anywhere, and it feels nice. He doesn't feel as lonely. With Adam, he can talk, and joke around, and just be a bloke hanging out with his best mate. It doesn't fix anything, and it doesn't change what he'll soon have to face, but it's what he wants right now.
…
AN:
So…Emmerdale. It has literally consumed my life over the last few months. I am obsessed with it. And I absolutely LOVE the friendship between Adam and Aaron (and I miss Adam so much on the show…just glad we have so much content of the two of them from older episodes). As usual, I'm super nervous before writing for a new fandom, but…hopefully this was good. It's short, but I really wanted to write something for the two of them, and you can expect more from me in the future :)
Angst isn't usually my genre of choice when it comes to writing (I pretty much always write humor, even though I love reading it), but I've had so many ideas for this series, so hopefully this wasn't completely terrible xD Tell me what you think!