Chara watched intently from their clever hiding spot as the village elders all marched in a neat, orderly line as they returned from the woods. They had left not too long ago, each elder carrying a carefully wrapped canvas package in their arms.
"Chara, what are you doing back there?"
Oh no, Father had managed to spot them. Chara slipped further into the small space between buildings and sidled until they were through the other side. They quickly trotted behind the buildings until they came out between another pair further away. They watched as the last of the elders walked back into the village, their bright yellow cloaks getting lost in the crowd. Chara looked down at their own clothes, carefully selected to be all soft browns and dark greens, not a stitch of yellow to be seen. It may be the 'safe color' but Chara thought blending into the forest would be better for this mission. Besides, Those Of Whom We Do Not Speak aren't real, so safe colors aren't real either.
Chara leaned carefully out of their hiding spot and looked around. Once sure no one was looking, they darted into the woods. The sparse, small trees quickly became replaced by large trees surrounded by thick bushes and they had to slow to a walk. They looked up and around themselves in wonder, they had never been this deep into the woods before. It was very quiet out here, just the distant chirping of birds, the buzzing of a few bugs, and their own breath. It was quite nice, actually. Peaceful.
They stopped in front the pile of packages the elders had left out, one of the regular sacrifices for Those Of Whom We Do Not Speak. Chara curiously poked the nearest package, it was soft and squishy. Like fabric. Which was weird, what would the terrible creatures that roam the woods need fabric for? Or twine? Or any of the other stuff left out for them? Shouldn't the elders have been leaving something like food? It just didn't add up!
Chara huffed before turning and walking confidently into the woods, enjoying the crunch of their footsteps in the underbrush. Wait. Chara stopped, but the footsteps continued for another step or two.
They whirled around and what they saw made their blood freeze in their veins. It was one of them. Those Of Whom We Do Not Speak, the terrible monsters that live in the woods. Then Chara took a deep breath and reminded themself that monsters aren't real, this is obviously just some poor villager in a silly costume who had to wander around in the woods and scare naughty children so they didn't try to explore. Chara put their hands on their hips and scowled up at the monster.
The monster seemed unsure what to do at that point, they cringed in on themself under Chara's gaze. Whoever they were they were very tall, taller than anyone Chara had ever met. Maybe they were on stilts? And was that mask a skull? How silly! Stilts and a skull mask, they were trying very hard to look scary. Chara would bet their whole allowance it was just a clay mask that had been painted like a skull. They pointed at the costume, "I've figured you out!" The mask tilted, or the head under it did anyway. The jaw moved to the side, Chara wondered if it was attached to the wearer's own jaw somehow.
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
Chara stood up straighter and pointed harder, they had prepared a speech just for this. "I'm eleven and a half years old! I'm too old for… for fairy tales and monsters under my bed and… and I know that you're not real either." They moved their pointing hand back down to their hip, they were getting pretty tired of holding it up, and then puffed out their chest proudly.
The mask's brows scrunched up, which was something Chara had never seen before and they wondered how they did it. "I'M NOT REAL?"
"Yup! I figured it out all by myself!"
"THAT'S STRANGE," a pair of gloved hands came out from under the red cloak and started patting over the costume's chest, "I COULD HAVE SWORN I WAS REAL WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING. I WONDER WHERE I WENT WRONG?"
Chara stood and stared at the costume as the person under it kept looking themself over. Chara wasn't sure what to do next, and it seemed the costumed villager didn't either.
"IF I'M NOT REAL THEN… WHAT DO I DO?"
Chara shrugged, "I dunno, you're the grown up."
"SO I AM! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS FULLY GROWN AND A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"
"Is that what they call everyone in the red cloaks?"
"YES INDEED!" Papyrus turned around to show off the back of his cloak to Chara, which had a strange symbol embroidered on it. "IT'S OUR JOB TO PATROL THE WOODS AND KEEP EVERYONE SAFE."
Chara grinned up at Papyrus, "That's so cool!"
"I KNOW, RIGHT? I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO JOIN! AND THEN! I DID! BUT… I SUPPOSE IF I'M NOT REAL THEN I'M NOT REALLY A MEMBER EITHER."
Chara felt a little bad, Papyrus was obviously very sad to have been found out. They walked closer and gently patted his… well it was probably his leg, it was hard to tell with the cloak in the way. "That's okay, I know you gotta keep pretending for all the little babies back in the village."
Papyrus seemed to think that over, then nodded sagely. "OF COURSE, I WOULDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT THE CHILDREN!"
"And I suppose that means I gotta help you pretend. So… now what?"
"WELL, AS A GUARDSMAN IT'S MY DUTY TO UH… 'HERD' ANY WANDERING HUMANS BACK TO THE VILLAGE. BUT YOU ARE NOT WEARING THE CUSTOMARY COLOR. LET'S SEE… WHAT WERE THE ORDERS FOR A HUMAN NOT WEARING YELLOW AGAIN?" Chara looked down at their outfit as Papyrus put a gloved hand to his mask's chin. "OH! RIGHT! I'M SUPPOSED TO GO REPORT THE HUMAN TO CAPTAIN UNDYNE!"
"Okay?" Chara started to wonder if the people who wore the costumes had to have fake names with their costumes, they had never heard of anyone named Papyrus or Undyne before.
"AND OF COURSE YOU SHOULD COME WITH ME, IT'LL BE MUCH EASIER TO REPORT YOU TO UNDYNE IF YOU'RE THERE WITH ME."
"That makes sense." Chara reached a hand out, which Papyrus seemed confused about. "You're supposed to hold it," Chara said as they waved their hand at Papyrus.
"OH, OF COURSE. I WAS JUST… TESTING YOU!" Papyrus took Chara's offered hand, then started leading them further into the woods. Chara was confused at first, they thought the village was back the other way. Then they just shrugged to themself, Papyrus was the adult and he patrolled these woods, so he must know the way. To distract themself they decided to tell Papyrus about their friends and what they had been doing recently. In turn Papyrus talked about his lazy, slothful brother.
Soon the trees were thinning around them and Chara spotted buildings between them. Strange buildings they had never seen before. Had Papyrus brought them back to the wrong village? Maybe that was why they had never heard those strange names before. There were a few other villages scattered along the outer edges of the woods, Papyrus was just from one of the other ones!
"HELLO, BROTHER!" Papyrus waved his free hand at a short figure that came out to greet them. He pulled his hood down to reveal… another skull mask? Only this one was very round.
"hey bro, is that a human with you?" This mask seemed to be all one piece, the mouth didn't move at all. Chara almost wanted to roll their eyes, Papyrus was right about how lazy his brother was if he couldn't even make a convincing mask.
"YES! I FOUND THEM OUT WANDERING AROUND IN THE WOODS AND HAVE BROUGHT THEM BACK TO REPORT THEM TO UNDYNE! BUT… WELL… THEY HAVE INFORMED ME OF SOME GRAVE NEWS."
"i'm dying to hear it."
Papyrus narrowed his eyes at his brother, but chose to continue on in a sad voice, "IT SEEMS THAT DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS I AM, IN FACT, NOT REAL."
"well that's… wait. what?"
Chara stepped forward and pointed dramatically at Papyrus's brother. "I'm eleven and a half years old! I'm too old for fairy tales and monsters under my bed and I know that you're not real either." They smiled proudly at getting the whole speech out in one smooth go this time.
The tiny but bright lights inside the brother's very wide eye holes darted back and forth between Papyrus and Chara a few times before settling on Chara as the holes seemed to squint at them. "you think that… monsters… are… not real?"
Chara nodded, "Right! I figured it out all on my own, you're just people in costumes."
"i mean we are people, but aside from these cloaks we're not in costumes. they're more uniforms than anything." The brother stepped closer and leaned forward a little. "here, try to take my 'mask' off." Just like with Papyrus earlier, Chara could hear the quotation marks and they weren't sure how either one did it.
Chara let go of Papyrus's hand and hesitantly stepped closer to his brother. They reached up and felt along the sides of the mask, then around the back. "Where are the seems? I can't fine them, unless it's a whole helmet?" They tried to tug on the head.
"oof, be careful, don't need you taking my whole head off."
"I don't understand, it's just a mask, right?" They tugged a little harder, but the mask didn't budge.
"okay, enough of that." The brother knocked Chara's hands away and stepped back, then he motioned towards Papyrus. "hey bro, come down here for a better demonstration."
"WHAT KIND OF DEMONSTRATION, SANS?" Papyrus asked even as he leaned over so his head was within Chara's reach.
"just open your mouth for us, kay?"
"ALRIGHT," Papyrus said in confusion before tipping his head back and opening his jaw as far as he could, which was pretty far.
Chara peeked inside and saw… empty space. No tongue, no throat, just bone. They went to poke at the space but Papyrus quickly stood up and backed away. "Is… is it a skull on a stick with a string moving the mouth?" Chara asked hesitantly. "Are you under the cloak?" Chara reached for the cloak, but Papyrus stepped further back.
"DO HUMANS NOT HAVE PERSONAL SPACE?" Papyrus asked in disgust.
"sure they do," Sans said with a laugh, "but kids don't no matter where they're from. just take off your cloak, we're technically back in the village anyway."
"WELL… IF YOU THINK IT WILL HELP THE SITUATION," Papyrus said skeptically as he pulled the cloak off and carefully folded it up in his arms.
Chara stared, he was wearing some armor over his chest and hips, but aside from gloves and boots his arms, legs, and spine were completely bare. Nothing but pristine, smooth bones where a person should have been hiding. Chara waved a hand in the empty space where his middle should be. "Oh wow, you're really a skeleton."
"OF COURSE I AM! I WOULD HATE TO BE A DOG OR A DRAGON OR SOMETHING. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH DRAGONS OR DOGS." Papyrus blushed nervously, his brow dotting with sweat.
"Dragons are real too?"
"YES, OF COURSE THEY ARE. OH! DOES THAT MEAN I'M REAL AGAIN?"
"it sure does, bro," Sans said proudly.
"WONDERFUL! THEN I SUPPOSE I'M ALSO STILL REALLY A GUARDSMAN, NYEH HEH HEH. OH! AND I'M STILL REALLY ON DUTY TOO, I NEED TO GO REPORT THIS HUMAN TO CAPTAIN UNDYNE!" He quickly unfolded his cloak and put it back on.
"really? i thought we were just supposed to scare them back into their villages."
"WHEN THEY'RE WEARING YELLOW, SANS! HONESTLY, DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?"
"i know why the chicken crossed the road," Sans said helpfully.
"UGH, NEVERMIND."
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Chara asked with a grin. Papyrus huffed and rolled his eyes… somehow.
Sans could barely hold back his laughs as he said, "because she was told it was an eggcellent idea."
Papyrus shrieked while Chara tried to muffle their laughter with their hands.
"i think i like this kid."
Inspired by M. Night Shamanllamadingo's The Village and a conversation with my coworker, StarkUnreality, about it. Basically StarkUnreality thought monsters scaring monsters by dressing up as... monsters (damn English language!) was "boring" (assumedly just as boring as humans dressing up as monsters to scare humans) and she thought it'd be more interesting to play things straight: a human finds out the monsters are real. A human who doesn't believe! And well... this was the first thing that popped into my head! XD Enjoy.
Bonus: If Frisk had been the human.
Papyrus: HUMAN YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO YOUR VILLAGE!
*ACT
*Flirt
Papyrus: OH MY! *begins to sweat*