"Fairytale au where Gil and Eli are knights and Roderich is trapped in a tower by an "evil" dragon, whether or not the dragon is actually evil is up to you."

Credit for the idea goes to drowningsun who asked me to do this. I'm so sorry that it turned out as badly as it did. This is probably the worst I've ever written and you asked for it 2 weeks ago but I've never written this ship before, even though it's my OT3. Thanks for the request anyway though!

Random fact: This is the longest oneshot I've ever written.

"That is why..." The tall, blonde man sighed as he addressed all of the knights that he had hired to find his cousin's son. "I would like you to find him. The only detail that has been given to us is that he is in a tower guarded by a monster so terrible that no knight has ever defeated it. You will all go in various directions, and you will continue in that direction until you find him or some hint of where he is. Then, you will rescue him and bring him back here for a price of 100'000'000 gold pieces, or his hand in marriage. Whatever you would prefer." The king of Germania announced to the crowd.

After the king's speech, the knights dispersed. Some wandered towards the stables to prepare for the long journey ahead. Some strolled around the gardens of the palace to devise a plan. Two of them, however, went to the tavern for drinks. Those two would be Gilbert Beilschmidt and Elizabeta Hedervary. They had introduced themselves to each other already and were excitedly discussing their plans for finding the Prince.

"So, which direction are you gonna go in tomorrow?" Gilbert began before downing a full mug of finest ale. He'd never had problems starting conversations with strangers, and that wasn't about to change anytime soon.

"I was thinking South West... I've been trying to get into the brain of this creepy guy who locked up Prince Roderich. This fucked up, crazy mind. He wants people to die rescuing this guy, right? So he'd want them to think that there was a slim a chance as possible of them getting through. That's what he wants them to think. As he doesn't want them to succeed, he'd do the opposite of what they think will happen. Therefore, the route to Roderich will be the one with the least danger. Then, right at the end when they've gotten comfortable, he springs this monster on them that's more powerful than anything they could possibly imagine. It's his last resort." Elizabeta rambled on and on and Gilbert's focus steadily withdrew from the conversation.

"I was only going to go because fighting my way through empty territory makes me sound awesome with minimal exaggeration. And I am awesome."

"I don't see why you couldn't. Even if you appear to be as intelligent as this barstool, you look like you can handle yourself in a fight. Although, the prize for finding Roderich is his hand in marriage or a cash reward. It's not both. And I intend to keep the prince for myself."

"We'll work out prizes later. I'll meet you at the Southern gate tomorrow at noon."

"Noon?"

"Well we should surely rest up properly before heading out on such a perilous quest, should we not?" Gilbert asked in a voice cleared intended for someone from a far richer background than his own. Elizabeta laughed and rolled her eyes at him as she finished the last of her drink.

The next day

From horseback, Gilbert and Elizabeta could see far into the distance. They saw a town far away. It would probably take them all day just to reach that town.

"If we go, it will divert us from our original course and it could take us longer to find the Prince." Elizabeta warned her fellow knight.

"What if they know something about where he is?" Gilbert argued, squinting at the town.

"What if they don't and we start a panic? Trust me, it's best if we don't stay there. Besides, can we trust random townsfolk?"

"We can't just stay on the road! This totally not awesome kidnapper guy will be sending bandits after us before we know it." Gilbert raised his voice as he got increasingly pissed off with his fellow knight.

"We'll be easier to locate if we stay at an inn, you idiot!"

"Hey, don't call me an idiot; that's not awesome!"

"Well it's the truth! You're so fucking simple! I can't believe I let you in on my fucking plan." Once Elizabeta started on her rants, it took a long while for her to stop usually.

"Right. That's it. We have so much to decide and since you obviously can't trust anyone, we're going to stop away from the town and we are going to discuss what we're going to do." Gilbert ordered. Elizabeta shut up to show her agreement. Why did she have to encounter this frustrating knight to work with? All she wanted was to find the damn Prince.

"So, assuming that we find this Prince according to your bullshit plan, what are we going to do to share? I mean, you're dead set on getting the Prince even though we could equally split the money. So what do we do?" Gilbert asked, chewing his food with his mouth hung wide open. The lights coming from the lanterns of the town in the distance illuminated the horizon with a hazy, orange glow. Gilbert stroked the place on his chin where there was once a beard (before his brother forced him to cut it for the sake of convenience in battle) and Elizabeta scratched at her head.

"We could share." She suggested, her eyes lighting up in the firelight as an idea bloomed in her mind. "Have you ever been with two people at once, Gilbert? It isn't as bad as it seems. I happen to prefer it."

"I've been with several people at the same time before. None of them knew it, but yes. What is your point?"

"Don't lie to me, Gilbert. You're a man of few preferences. Men, women. You didn't seem to mind too much who you flirted with at the tavern." She shuffled towards him as if being in closer proximity to him would persuade him of her point further.

"What's your point?" He growled as he also moved closer, rising towards the challenge.

"We both keep the Prince for ourselves and share him." Elizabeta extended her hand towards her companion. He took her hand and shook it.

"Deal."

It took a further three days of travelling South East before they heard word of a dragon that would slaughter hundreds if not for it's strange attachment to an 'empty' stone tower that it always returned to. A dragon? That was just plain overkill for the sake of protecting a Prince. It had to be the Prince though. Elizabeta was sure of it, and after three days of travelling with her, Gilbert was willing to follow her lead. Elizabeta and Gilbert readied their weapons and armour. Tomorrow they were to storm the tower, dragon be damned.

"Nice sword. Where did you get it?" Gilbert commented as Elizabeta pulled out her sword.

"It was my mother's." She replied simply. Gilbert didn't dare comment any further in fear of hitting a nerve.

"So if there is a dragon - which would really not be awesome - what are we going to do?"

"Fight it. We divide and conquer. Split left and right, and whoever the dragon doesn't go for, takes the first shot. From then on, we can't predict its movements."

"That's it? That's your valiant, awesome plan for how to fight this thing? Wait... You're not a knight, are you?" Gilbert squinted at Elizabeta who glanced away from his glare uncomfortably.

"Where would you get that impression from? Why does it matter anyway?"

"You're a mercenary!" He accused. Elizabeta's eyes flicked back to meet Gilbert's and her expression twisted into a grimace.

"I'm doing your King's dirty work better than anyone else, aren't I?" She hissed back at him. "It doesn't matter if I've been knighted or not. Just because I wasn't born into a rich family doesn't mean I can't fight as well as the other knights." Gilbert had no response. He was stunned into silence. "Now, we should rest. We have a tower to breach tomorrow and you'll need all the brain power you have, if you have any." She turned away from him, cleaning her sword with a piece of cloth that had torn from her tunic two days ago. Gilbert wanted to argue, but he decided that he'd already caused enough damage. Tomorrow, they were going to get the Prince, bring him back home, and then share him as agreed. The two set their armour out, ready to be equipped the next day. As the firelight turned to embers, Gilbert threw furs over himself to keep himself warm. Before he could drift off to sleep, he heard a quiet, whimpering noise. Elizabeta was crying. He paused for a moment before climbing out of the furs again and edging closer to her.

"Eliza." He attempted to use the nickname he'd wanted to give her since they'd met.

"Yes, Gilbert?" She wiped her eyes to try and hide that she'd been crying. He didn't know what he was doing. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, his arms curling around her waist.

"I'm sorry. That was not awesome of me." His attempt at an apology made her smirk. "You should get some sleep." He murmured into her neck. "Think of that handsome Prince you'll find tomorrow after we get rid of that dragon... He'll love you. You're smart and competent and very, very good looking." His whispering mouth ended up at her ear. She shook her head.

"Goodnight Gilbert. Tomorrow, we fight."

The tower was far taller than they'd originally anticipated. Also, more intimidating. There was no dragon in sight as of yet, but Gilbert and Elizabeta were wary that it could return at any minute. The pair took large strides to get to the bottom of the tower as quickly as possible. They made it to the bottom of the tower and gained entrance fairly easily due to the lack of dragon being present. As they gazed upwards, they saw that there was a spiral staircase ahead of them that must have extended for at least a mile upwards. They looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Then, their journey upwards began.

"Why are there always stairs? Why can't it be something magic that goes up but not down? That way, the prisoner can't escape but someone could get up. This is not awesome at all!"

"You speak very nonchalantly for the King's son." Elizabeta pointed out, not looking at him as she said it. Gilbert froze.

"How did you know that?"

"I'd heard rumours that the King had an older son than Ludwig that he wasn't as fond of. Rumours that the King killed the older son in favour of Ludwig, but you see, that doesn't make sense to me. How could someone kill their oldest son? The King couldn't do that, and he definitely couldn't send his son off to fight as a mercenary. That would be ridiculous. But you still wanted to fight, didn't you, Gilbert?"

"I don't know what you're talking about-"

"You still wanted to fight, and you don't look like the King at all. So you renounced your name and became one of the King's knights in the hope of winning his affections some other way. Is this why you signed up in the first place, Gilbert? Were you hoping that if you found the Prince, the King might notice you?"

"Shut the fuck up, Eliza. Let's just get the damn Prince and get out of here."

About half a mile up, they encountered a door that was slightly tilted open. Behind it was a short, blonde haired man sat at a chair. He was fast asleep. Elizabeta observed the various spell tomes around the room. A wizard. What was a wizard doing in the tower? The duo strolled into the room and Gilbert slammed the door behind them, startling the man awake so that he turned around and the two adventurers could see his abnormally large eyebrows.

"Oh bloody hell! The one bloody day I oversleep and this happens. Fucking hell!" He started to shout wildly.

"Who are you and what is your purpose here?" Gilbert asked him, his sword pointed dead at the man's chest. Elizabeta's hand rested on the hilt of her sword.

"I... I am the dragon that you feared so much. It was all an illusion that I conjured up. The King's enemy payed me a lot of bloody gold and I didn't kill anyone, I swear it! I specialise in the pyrotechnical arts and the school of illusion magics so of course I bloody took a job! Everyone wants the bloody destruction mages these days. Please don't kill me!" The man begged for his life. Gilbert and Elizabeta could scarcely believe their luck. The dragon was all an effect - a trick! They could get the Prince and be back home again in two days if they hurried.

"If we let you live, you must promise to continue with the dragon act for a further two days. That way, whoever your employer is will not suspect a thing until we are long gone." Arthur nodded at the order and shuffled backwards. From that point, Gilbert and Elizabeta left to continue their search for the Prince.

They'd made it. After searching through every room in the damned tower, they'd reached the last room. It was fairly small with a stone bed, a bowl for the toilet and a surprisingly large window, even if it was blocked by giant, iron bars.

"Took you long enough." The Prince sneered at the two knights who had come to rescue him. "Alas, you did manage to get past the eyebrow man and his dragon act so I must give you at least some kind of credit for that. So, I assume you'll be handing me in for a money prize."

"Meet your husband and wife." Gilbert introduce the two of them, his body language showing his bravado. "Now let's get the hell out of here." Elizabeta pulled Roderich up and heaved him over her shoulder.

"Let's go, Princess."

When Roderich was finally sprawled over the top of Elizabeta's horse, he seemed to realise what was going on.

"Who are you? Where did you come from?"

"We're taking you back home. Relax and get comfortable; you'll be here for a while." Elizabeta looked him over carefully. "Will you be safe there? Have you ever ridden before?"

"Me? Of course I have ridden on a horse. I am a prince! What good is a prince that cannot ride a horse?" Gilbert sighed at Roderich's response.

"Alright, princess."

The three of them rode off together. Roderich and Elizabeta shared a horse and Gilbert rode beside them, keeping watch.

The three marriages occurred over 2 years across 3 countries, to ensure that their arrangement was legal. The three of them most often stayed in their home in the King's castle. They mostly stayed in the same position on Roderich's king sized bed. Roderich was in the middle, holding Gilbert's hand and resting his head against Elizabeta's shoulder. Elizabeta was on the right, an arm rested around Roderich's head and her legs strewn over the two of them. Gilbert held Roderich's hand and stroked Elizabeta's leg at the same time. They were happy, and that was more than enough for the three of them.