Hello! So this is my first Durarara fic. I'm not as pleased with it as I would like to be, but I think it's fun. I hope you enjoy!

"Izzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Oh God. They're at it again Simon thought and gritted his teeth.

The crashes and bangs echoed through the sushi bar; it almost felt as if the room was vibrating. Simon decided he was done -more than done. He just couldn't take it anymore, not only because it agitated his customers, but because it was fucking annoying.

He stepped outside and was unsurprised to find that the pair had already demolished the whole street. Concrete was piled on top of concrete. There was a dented post box lying on its side and water flowing out of a hole in the ground that had once been a fire hydrant. The sound of Shizuo's grunts of frustration and Izaya's cocky snickers melded together into something that sounded like chaos. Simon sighed and shook his head.

It was the same old dance; the one that had been repeated over and over again for years on end. Shizuo was swinging at Izaya with a lamp post which he was avoiding with otherworldly precision. It was nothing anyone hadn't seen before. It was not startling or alarming; it was just really loud. With a loud groan, Simon stepped in between the pair and grabbed hold of the lamp post.

For a moment they're expressions were blank, but they faded into annoyance when they realized what had happened.

"What?" Shizuo demanded, baring his teeth. Izaya backed him up by growling.

"Either act like adults or go have a fight outside someone's sushi bar." Simon said, his tone flat.

"I don't really see how this is any of your business" Izaya japed.

"You've made it my business, haven't you? Every week you pull something like this. All your brouhaha is destroying the city." Simon grunted.

Shizuo's eyes glazed over with remorse and he bowed his head a little. Izaya, however, looked to be enjoying himself a great deal.

"So, what's your point?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well for one thing, you need to stop fucking around." Simon told him.

Izaya, being Izaya, began to giggle.

"No I mean it" Simon growled, pointing his finger at him. "Sort your shit out. Go to therapy or something."

Perhaps for the first time in his life, Izaya shut his mouth. It was hard to tell what he was thinking as Simon continued to rant.

"And you!" Simon exclaimed, turning to Shizuo. "You have spent all this time chasing Izaya. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself what you're actually chasing?"

The words seemed to have a physical impact on Shizuo. He stumbled back a few steps and blinked erratically. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't force anything out except incoherent sputtering. Before he had time to pull himself together, Simon stalked off.

"If you fight outside my restaurant again I will turn you into sushi!" he spat over his shoulder.

He got stuck back into his work and for a good ten minutes things were nice and quiet. Simon smiled. Bliss at last.

"IZZZZZAAAAAYAAAA!"

Well, that didn't last. Simon sighed. He wondered when those two would ever decide they wanted more out of their lives than this pathetic loop. Probably not for another few centuries at least.

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