Fallacy Ad Project Script Thingy
ANNouncer: Are you lame Do you have things you wish would just "disappear"? Well, try Death Note! Ever since Light Yagami found a Death Note in 2003, people have been using Death Notes! It's easy! Just write the name and see what happens! Use it on friends!
L-phonse: (Comes up to me) Hey, what's up? (M-W write L-phonse in Death Note)
M-W: Nothin' much. (L-phonse falls over, M-W thumbs up the camera)
ANN: Use it on your enemies!
L-phonse: (Sees Neku, writes "Neku Sakuraba dies after getting hit with a keyblade") Hey, Sora wannabe!
Neku: Huh? (turns around, gets hit with key, dies, L-phonse thumbs up the camera)
ANN: Use it on your cat! (meow) Use it on your dog! (bark) Use it on this rock! (shows rock, rock: ^^ shows Death Note with "rock" written in it. Rock: X.X) Everyone loves Death Note! Just listen to these satisfied customers!
Light: I used to be just a normal *coughgenuiscough* high school student, until I found a Death Note. Now I'm the most revered justice-bringer of the millennium!
Misa: Misa thinks everyone should get a Death Note, 'cause, like, all my friends have one, like Light, and, like, that creeper that follows Light around… and, like-
Mikami: It's not murder, it's justice, Kami says. And if Kami says, it must be the truth.
ANN: How does it work, L?
L: Well… I'm not sure… I've yet to get my hands on one-
ANN: (whisper-yell) Here. (hands L a script)
L: (reading slowly from the script) "The Death Note works by supernatural means. It's been used by shi… shinigami… for hundreds of years… It's simple. Write a name, and the person will die. You can customize the death by…" This is sick and twisted, I hope you know. (black screen)
Misa: "You can, like, customize the death by, like, writing a, like, time and cause." It's pretty sweet. Oh! If you don't, like, write something, then, like, they'll die of a heart attack in, like, 40 seconds.
Light: We can solve all the world's problems by using the Death Note.
Mikami: Kami uses one and he's beautiful and smart and funny and amazing and-
ANN: Crime went down –blank-* percent since Light began using the Death Note!
Mikami: It was obviously the Death Note's influence that made Light more amazing! I mean, look at him. (camera points to Light)
Light: (reading a book) What is it, Mikami?
Mikami: (sighs smittenly) Nothing, Kami.
L: Don't you think selling Death Notes is like giving killers guns?
ANN: They're nothing alike! It's not like we're selling nuclear weapondry! I mean, we're just selling notebooks! And people – STUDENTS – like Light Yagami do their homework in notebooks. So by telling us not to sell notebooks, you're telling children not to do their homework!
L: But…
ANN: And then they'll all become criminals, and steal and rape and murder! All because you won't let us sell Death Notes!
L: But…
ANN: Don't listen to the sweet-eating, barefooted detective! Buy a Death Note today by calling 1-800-SHIN-GAM or going to www. thedeathnoteisalie .com*! Death Note! Buy now! (evilly) Or we'll kill a puppy!
* I don't remember what percent was said in the anime, I'll be looking that up, unless someone would like to supply me with that percent.
* number 2 - This is not a real website.